“I’m not leaving her. I will stay with her until she comes out of this enough to speak to me. Please if you two need to go feed I will be fine with her.”
“You need to feed too Lucian.” Sirene said quietly.
“I’m not leaving her.” He said more forcefully. “I can survive a night without blood. I don’t want to feed from her. She’s weak and her blood is tainted with the sleeping pills. I will be ok.”
Fabian held his wrist out. “You will feed from me. Sirene and I will go and hunt for our meal so I want you to take some blood from me. It’s not as effective as blood from a human I know, but it will keep you going until you can get a proper meal.”
Lucian opened his mouth to turn his sire down, but one look up into his eyes and he changed his mind. It was obvious this was not open to discussion and so reluctantly he drank from him.
Once he was finished and Fabian had healed the puncture wound in his wrist, they left, assuring him they would be back once they’d fed.
With them gone, Lucian settled on the lounge next to Arissa and took her cold hand in his, raising it to his lips. After that, there was nothing more for him to do but wait, wait until she came around from the effects of the sleeping pills and find out what the hell had happened to her.
Chapter Twenty Five
Arissa
I came to slowly, my body stiff, sore and pinned down. Pinned down? Why couldn’t I move? I opened my eyes and noticed the room I was in was filled with shards of sunlight squeezing their way in around the French doors and window. I frowned when I realised I was in the living room, lying on the lounge. I’d been in my bed when I’d taken those sleeping pills, hadn’t I?
I’d taken those pills and yet, I was still here, I was still alive. As the realisation hit me that I was still alive, I felt the familiar weight of pain crash down on me and tears burned in my eyes. The pain was heavy, all encompassing. It held me down, pinned me and I frowned, confused. I really did feel pinned down, physically restrained. How could pain do that?
I tried to move but couldn’t so finally I turned my head and looked down the length of me. When I saw a tangle of brown hair over my breasts, full lips and a jaw that had that five o’clock shadow look, my eyes shot open wide. I must have been hallucinating because it surely couldn’t be real; it couldn’t be Lucian lying on me, his weight pinning me down. Those ridiculously long lashes of his were fanning his cheeks and I stared at them, wondering why a man was blessed with the kind of lashes most women would wish for. Unable to stop myself, I reached out needing to touch him, needing to see if he was real. I was convinced I was either having some incredible dream, or he would disappear as soon as I touched him. He didn’t disappear though; he was real, he really was here and as I touched him, raking my fingers gently through his silky strands, tears began to flow unchecked, soaking into my hair. As I wept silently, still not daring to believe he was here, he woke, his eyes opening.
I watched him slowly become conscious of where he was, the confusion leaving his eyes and suddenly he lifted his head and those beautiful, familiar brown ones met mine.
“Baby?” His voice was deep and husky with sleep and my heart fluttered in my chest at the sound of it. It wouldn’t stop fluttering and instead became violent leaping which made me panic.
“Oh god.” I cried, trying to sit up but my erratically beating heart was robbing me of breath and I gasped, desperately dragging air into my lungs. “Lucian, I…I…Oh god, I…can’t…breathe.” I panted, clawing at my throat. Still my heart leapt in my chest, so much so, it could be seen through my clothes and as Lucian reached for me, his expression alarmed, pain exploded behind my ribs, spearing out and down my left arm causing me to cry out with the agony of it. “Oh it hurts, it hurts.” I panted as he climbed to his feet, before dragging me from the lounge and lowering me to the carpet.
“God, baby you’re having a heart attack I think. Hang on, please hang on.” He was yelling at me, but his voice sounded like it was coming to me from a long way away. “I love you my angel, please hang on, don’t leave me. I love you, god I love you so much.” I heard those words, those words I’d longed to hear again for the past three months and I smiled, despite my pain, I smiled at him closing my eyes as a sense of peace washed over me.
As everything went dark I managed to whisper. “I love you too Lucian more than life itself.”
Lucian
Lucian sobbed noisily at Arissa’s confession of her love for him just as she passed out. Frantically he searched for a pulse and nearly collapsed with relief when he felt one but it was thready and erratic. She was in cardiac arrest, he was pretty sure.
How could this be happening? She was so young, too young for a heart attack and yet, although he had no medical background, he knew she was having one. Had she always had a weak heart? Had her father’s treatment of her damaged her heart from years of starvation and lack of proper hygiene, or had the last few months of an inadequate diet weakened her body too much? She’d been far too thin when he first met her and now she was literally just skin and bone.
As his tear stained eyes looked down at her, he knew he was losing her. He’d saved her from an overdose and thought he had a chance of them getting back together. She just told him she loved him, so everything could have been perfect again and now, in the blink of an eye, he was losing her because her heart wasn’t strong enough?
He could call for an ambulance but instinct told him it would be too late. Her heartbeat was erratic, feeble and barely detectable. There was only one thing he could do to save her and he’d never done it alone before. He’d seen everyone working on Sirene when she’d been turned but this was different. It was just him.
There wasn’t time to worry about it though, he had to try and save her before it was too late. Not giving himself time to over think it, he took her bony wrist in his hands and as his fangs descended, he bit into her and began to drink. He heard her give a weak cry but her eyes stayed closed. She was obviously still conscious, but only just.
With his fingers over her pulse, he continue to feed, drinking and drinking until he felt her already erratic pulse slowing and growing weaker. He suddenly grew nervous. He knew he had to take as much as he could without stopping her heart or it would be too late, he’d kill her but had he taken enough? Should he take more?
With his fingers keeping track of her pulse, he took a few more mouthfuls from her and stopped. Arissa’s heart suddenly began beating rapidly and wildly, but they were frantic, shallow beats. It was obvious her heart was struggling with only minimal blood to push around her body. She was borderline going into full cardiac arrest. He had to work fast now as every second counted and with his fingers still monitoring her pulse, he bit down hard on his wrist, tearing away a chunk of flesh until his blood began to flow, dripping from his arm onto her chest.
He held his arm over her face and gently prised her mouth open, watching as his blood ran freely coating her lips and teeth in seconds. He bent over her, still monitoring her pulse and feeling his stomach knot with fear as he waited to see if she was going to swallow the blood. God, had he taken too much? Was she too out of it to respond? If she didn’t swallow the blood, she would die, there was no doubt about that, and then she would be lost to him forever.
“Come on baby, swallow, please swallow the blood.” He whispered, his anxiety rising. Her mouth was full of blood and still nothing. If it was too late; if he’d lost her he’d be devastated and it would be even worse, if he’d accidently taken it too far and killed her himself.
Finally she made some faint, gurgling sound in her throat and he saw her swallow. At the sight of her swallowing, tears of relief filled his eyes. Now if she would just keep going. Slowly, barely detectable at first, she continued to drink the blood as it flowed into her mouth. Gradually she got stronger until she latched onto him and fed properly.
By the time he’d pulled free of her, he was starting to feel light headed and he knew he’d let her take too much. He’d just be
en so relieved to see her swallowing his blood that he’d over indulged her. He was going to need to hunt if he could get his energy level high enough, but for now, he had to rest. Nothing more would happen; he’d done all he could for Arissa. Only time would tell if it had worked, if she was going to turn vampire.
Now she’d finished taking his blood, she’d fallen back into the deep sleep that was common when the change was taking place. If she woke, she would hopefully be vampire. If it didn’t work, she would die. There was nothing more he could do but wait.
With all that had happened and the blood he’d lost, he was exhausted. Lying down, he stretched out by her side, listening to the very faint sounds of her breathing. There was a skip to it, a hitch as if it was getting harder, and he could tell from the barely discernible beat of her heart, it was close to stopping. He’d done all he could, now it was up to her, but he was still so fearful that he hadn’t done enough. He didn’t want to think about what would happen if it didn’t work, but he needed to rest now, he felt vague and light headed. He was so fucking tired and throwing an arm over her stomach, he closed his eyes and let his fatigue pull him under, falling into a deep sleep.
Arissa
It was daylight when I opened my eyes and could see from the gaps around the curtains that the sun was shining. There was an arm lying over my stomach and I stared at it for a while, simply admiring it. It was a beautiful arm, strong, not too hairy and with a hand that was large with long slim fingers. Slowly I turned my head, smiling when I saw Lucian lying by my side, still sound asleep.
I didn’t know why he was here or how he’d managed to get inside, but I wasn’t going to complain. I was just so happy to see him. He was so beautiful and unable to help myself; I reached out, touching his cheek with my fingers.
Instantly he stirred and his eyes shot open meeting mine. “Lucian?” I couldn’t say more, I just stared at him, worried that he might suddenly disappear and I’d find out this was all just a dream.
“Baby? God, you’re awake, it worked. I was so scared it wouldn’t work.” He said and I frowned, staring at him in confusion. What did he mean it worked?
He must have seen my expression because he sat up and leaned over me, his eyes drifting over my face and down my body. “What do you mean Lucian? What worked?”
His smile was faint, a mere slight curve of his lips. “You don’t remember anything do you? You tried to take your own life with an overdose of sleeping pills but we saved you. Fabian and Sirene helped, and I stayed with you to keep an eye on you, but I fell asleep.” He looked slightly guilty for that before his expression changed. It became haunted, fearful almost. “Then you had a heart attack. You were so thin, you must not have been eating and maybe you weakened your heart or it was already weak, I don’t know, but you were dying.” He turned anguished eyes to me as he relived what he’d been through, what we’d both been through. “Baby, haven’t you worked it out yet? I had no choice. I couldn’t let you die and it was too late to get you medical help. You would have died before the ambulance got here. Don’t you see? I had to turn you. You’re vampire.”
I stared at Lucian, not saying anything as his words slowly penetrated my brain. As I looked into his concerned but beautiful chocolate coloured eyes, I started to become aware of changes in my body. The most noticeable one being, I wasn’t breathing. I sucked in a deep breath all the same as if trying to defy the fact that I didn’t need to breathe anymore and moved a hand to my chest, feeling for my heartbeat, but there was nothing; it was true.
“Say something Arissa, please. I can’t tell from your expression if you’re ok with it or plotting my death.” He gave me a crooked smile but it was fleeting before the fear and concern settled over his features again.
“I...I’m just in shock but I’m not plotting your death. You’re already dead. I…I don’t understand why you’re here. Why did you come? You didn’t want me anymore. I know this. I’ve seen you…I’ve seen you with Damien and those other women. You’ve been doing what you used to do again. Even…even the other night or whenever it was, I’ve lost track of time, I saw Francesca kissing you. She was…she was kissing you...she kissed you on the lips.” I finished in a rush as just uttering the words was painful.
“Oh god baby no.” He breathed, pulling me into his arms. “I’ve been so miserable since you told me you didn’t want me anymore.” I could hear the pain in his voice. “I love you, I will always love you. You’re the only reason for me to exist. I’ve fed off other women of course, but I’ve only been with Damien because he’s dragged me out with him. As for Francesca kissing me, well, she was only being nice.” He grinned. “Yeah, I know, a rare moment for her, but I’ve been so damned miserable they’re all tired of me. I haven’t been with another woman since the last time we were together. Fuck, I haven’t been able to get it up.” He pressed his hips against me and I could feel him growing hard between our bodies. “It seems I’m not having that problem now though. Which proves my point, it’s only you. It’s only ever going to be you.”
“Oh Lucian, I’m so sorry, so sorry I said those awful words to you. I didn’t mean it.” I sobbed. “I was just...I didn’t know what to do when we found Daisy. I felt guilty that I’d been enjoying my time with you and she’d been here all alone and that she’d died alone. We couldn’t have saved her anyway. She died from an aneurysm. The coroner said it would have been instant. Even if I’d been with her, I couldn’t have saved her. She left me everything and I felt guilty for that.” I looked up into his face. “I’ve done nothing for her and yet she wanted to give me her things, her home.” I reached out and touched his cheek but then I felt something, a burning, gnawing feeling low in my stomach. It began to build, getting more and more intense. Suddenly my fangs descended and I gasped, slapping a hand over my mouth.
“It’s ok baby. You’re supposed to have them you know, you’re vampire and you look so damn adorable too.” He kissed my cheek, steering clear of my fangs I noticed.
“Oh god Lucian, this feeling, it’s so strong, it’s building and building and I don’t know how to control it. I’m so hungry. Please I need blood, now, let me have some of yours.” I lunged at his neck.
Quickly he shoved me back and I glared at him. I was starving and he wouldn’t let me feed. I threw him a pouty look and made another lunge at him, but he captured my wrists, holding me at arm’s length.
“I’m sorry but I gave you most of my blood to turn you. I’m hungry too and I don’t have the strength to fight you. If you drink from me now, you will kill me.”
His words were enough to make me stop trying to get to him. “Really? I had no idea but then I guess I hadn’t thought about how you made me vampire. Can I go outside? I want to find someone to drink from. I’m so hungry.”
“No, you can’t go outside and stay away from the windows. Until you have the tattoo like mine.” He pointed to the symbol that kind of looked like a barcode on his neck. “You will burn if you go outside.”
“Will it hurt? To burn I mean? Do I burst into flames straight away?”
“No, it takes time but of course it hurts. Stick your arm in the sun if you don’t believe me.”
I turned to the kitchen window where sunlight was streaming in through it. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe him, but a part of me was dying to see for myself. Slowly I approached it and stuck my arm out. Instantly, there was a loud sizzling sound and smoke rose from my skin. I screamed at the sudden pain and pulled back. As I watched, the damaged skin began to heal and I turned towards Lucian who was watching me. “I did warn you.” He said.
“I want blood still though. I can’t go outside, I can’t feed from you. It’s such a long time until its dark.” I knew my voice was sounding whiny but I couldn’t help it. “Can you go and get me someone to drink from?”
“It’s later than you think. Mid-afternoon I’m guessing from the sun’s position. I will go and try and bring a neighbour here for you. You need to learn how to feed though and to learn con
trol. Fabian will kill you and more than likely me too if you drain someone. He’s anal about making sure we don’t draw attention to ourselves in any way. He’s probably going to be pissed at me for feeding close to home but you can’t go anywhere until it’s dark and Fabian would be sleeping now since its daylight.” He cupped my cheeks in his hands and stared into my eyes. “Can I trust you alone while I go and find you a meal? We will have to share as it’s unlikely I can get two people here, but I’ll see what I can do. Try and behave while I’m gone.” He dropped a quick kiss on my lips.
I snorted. “What could I possibly get up to Lucian? There’s no one else here and I can’t go outside. I gave Milo away so I can’t even drink from the dog.”
He grinned at me. “Yeah well, be good baby.” He said and disappeared out the door.
While he was gone I wandered around the house. God I was so hungry. Was it always like this? Consumed by this clawing, burning, feeling? Maybe I could eat human food? I’d only just been turned, so perhaps it took a little while for the body to register the difference?
I rushed to the fridge, skirting past the sunlight and opened the door. Instantly the smell from the few sorry items in there assaulted my nostrils and I gagged, beginning to retch. I staggered away from the fridge shuddering. That was definitely not a good idea. Food, human food smelled terrible to me now.
There was no alternative; I was going to have to wait for Lucian to come back. I began to pace restlessly. I don’t know why or what was happening to me but I suddenly felt like a caged animal. I felt strong, there was a feeling of something building inside me and I wasn’t sure what it was or why it was happening. Was this all because I was vampire?
I stopped pacing and rushed to a mirror when my fangs again descended. I was so hungry and Lucian seemed to be taking forever to get back. I stared at my image in my bathroom mirror and my eyes widened at the sight of me.
Passion Follows Pain (Passion Series Book 3) Page 31
