“Thank you. That must have cost you a lot to admit.”
“It did. Now if you will leave me, I’d like to dress for the day.”
“Certainly.”
He threw back the covers and stood, his back to her, put his hands over his head and stretched.
A gasp escaped, and she planted a hand on her chest. “Blake! You’re naked.”
He turned. “Yes, my dear, that’s the way I sleep, and I want you to start sleeping that way, too. I want to feel your body touching mine, even if I can’t make love to you.”
Wide-eyed and mouth agape. She stared. Her cheeks heated and she knew she blushed but she couldn’t help it. He was fully aroused and magnificent. Much more so than Robert had been. She tore her gaze away and looked at his face.
He watched her with a cocked eyebrow and a grin, arms crossed over his chest.
“Like what you see?”
“Uh, what? No.” Her hand fluttered in the air. “You should cover up. What if Violet came back in?”
He stooped, picked up his robe and slid it on.
“You’re right. This time. From now on, we lock the door. She can learn to knock if she wants us for anything.”
Nellie nodded. “You’re right. It is past time she learned to knock when she wants me.”
“Or me. She seems to have taken a shine to me, much to my surprise.” He grinned and winked. “Now if her mother would just do the same.”
“Her mother has more sense and is older. She’s not taken in by a pair of beautiful gray eyes, like her daughter is.”
“Ah,” he said with a laugh. “So, you do find something about me attractive.”
She squared her shoulders. “I didn’t say that.”
“But you did. ‘Beautiful eyes’ you said. I take that as a compliment. I happen to think all of you is beautiful.”
Again, she felt her cheeks heat. This man could make her blush with just a word. It was disconcerting.
No sooner had he put on his robe than the door flew open and Violet ran in followed by Henry.
“See Henry. I told you Mama is sleeping with Daddy.”
“They are not sleeping.” Henry planted his hands on his hips.
Blake guffawed and put his fist over his mouth to hide his laughter.
Nellie didn’t think there was anything funny about it. What if…dear God. “Stop laughing.”
He dropped his fist and laughed outright. Putting his hands on his hips and leaning back he fairly howled.
“Oh you!” She wagged a finger at him. “You just wait.”
“I’m waiting, darlin’. Waiting until you ask.”
He chuckled some more and walked toward the sitting room and his rooms beyond.
“Good morning, children,” he said, then walked through the door and closed it behind him.
Nellie shook her head. Damn the man. Then she giggled.
“What you laughing at, Mama?”
“Nothing, Henry. Not a thing.”
*****
The first night Blake was home, Nellie wore her emerald green suit to dinner. She knew the ensemble made her green eyes sparkle.
Blake met her in the hall outside the dining room dressed in a three-piece black suit with snowy white shirt and matching cravat. So handsome, he nearly took her breath away,
“You look lovely tonight, my dear.”
“Thank you. You are quite handsome yourself. To what occasion do I owe the pleasure?”
He held his arm out for her and she took it.
“Just to the fact that I’m home to have dinner with my beautiful wife, who, whether she believes it or not, is actually quite pleased to be having dinner with me rather than the children. I assume they are taking dinner in the nursery?”
She nodded. “Yes, they ate earlier. They are used to eating then.”
“And you got used to it, too. Didn’t you?”
Her stomach rumbled in response.
Her hand flew to her stomach in an effort to quell the sounds.
“I’m so sorry.”
“No need. I should have realized you would be used to eating earlier. Beginning tomorrow, we’ll all eat together at about five o’clock in the evening. Will that work for you?”
“Oh, yes. Thank you for accommodating the children’s needs.”
As they approached the table James held Nellie’s chair out for her.
“Thank you, James.”
“My pleasure, madam.”
James unfurled her napkin and set it gently in her lap, then did the same for Blake.
“So tell me, Nellie.” Blake leaned back in his chair. “What is there about Nellie Malone, that I should know? You can’t be just a widow with two beautiful children.”
“There’s really not anything else to know. My life revolves around my children. I teach Henry at home and Violet…well, you know about Violet.”
“You mean sweet Violet, the adventurer?”
She giggled. She couldn’t help it. He made her feel like a school girl stepping out with her beau for the first time unchaperoned.”
“A lovely sound. You should laugh more often, Nellie.”
“Back home there wasn’t a lot to laugh about. My in-laws were very strict and I owed them everything. They also made it perfectly clear that if it were not for the children, I would have no home. They did dote on the children, for that I’m grateful, but I might as well have not existed in their eyes. I decided then and there to move out and find somewhere that I could raise my children without that kind of horrible influence.”
“Was that when you went to see Mrs. Selby at Matchmaker & Co.?”
She nodded. “Yes. The agency was a god-send as were you. You might as well know, I didn’t expect to find someone, who would have me and the children…especially so quickly.”
“I’m glad I found you.” He waved a hand in her direction. “You also have been a god-send. I hadn’t expected to find someone so beautiful, that would be willing to marry me, a saloon keeper.”
Nellie bowed her head, in an effort to regain her composure. His compliments always made her feel a little giddy. She hadn’t gotten any compliments from a man or from anyone else for that matter, since Robert’s few and far between ones and nothing since he’d been gone almost since Violet was conceived. He’d always been especially nice to her when he wanted sex, though.
She had to admit she was lucky. Blake was handsome and kind, also doted on her children. He included Henry whenever he could, though even Henry already knew Violet was Blake’s favorite. The knowledge was hard for him, seeing Violet have the kind of father that he himself had. Nellie kept a special eye on Henry. She didn’t want him to get jealous or resent Violet because of her relationship with Blake.
She needn’t have worried. Blake did his best not to show favoritism and Henry seemed to appreciate the effort. He was rather grown up for a ten-year-old boy.
“What has you so deep in thought?”
“The children, and how good you are with them. You act like their father more and more each day.”
“I’m exceedingly fond of your children. Henry is a fine boy. He must have idolized your late husband.”
“He did. Henry was very close to his father. It was perhaps harder for him to lose his father than it was for me to lose my husband. In some ways, I’d been expecting it from the time Robert volunteered to go.”
“Volunteered? Volunteered to leave you?” His eyebrows shot upward. “That seems exceedingly stupid on his part.”
“Robert was a staunch patriot. It’s in his blood to serve the country. His father, grandfather and great-grandfather, all served with honor. Robert couldn’t bear to be any less a man.”
“So, in your mind, serving in the army is what makes you a man?”
She shook her head. “Not at all. I know it’s honorable and all that, but I think war is the stupidest institution on the planet. We lost so many men on both sides, all Americans, to that stupid war.”
“I’d keep that opinion
to yourself when we have our dinner guests. Some of them made a lot of money in the war.”
James brought the soup tureen and filled her bowl with the fragrant, hot liquid. She tried some. The smooth seafood bisque slipped down her throat and delighted her tongue.
“This is wonderful. We should serve it to your dinner guests.”
“I’m leaving the menu up to you and Cook. I do recommend that it have some variety.” He held the spoon in front of his mouth. “These men pride themselves on their gourmet tastes.”
“I’m glad you told me before I decided to serve them fried chicken and mashed potatoes.”
“Would you fix it yourself? I don’t believe that Cook has ever served me fried chicken.”
Pleased at being asked, she said, “I could. I happen to be a very good cook, though what I fix is simple. Cook is a chef. Where you got her I don’t know but she’s wonderful.”
He took a spoonful of soup and swallowed before speaking. “She applied to cook at The Nugget. Well, we serve a limited menu and certainly didn’t need anyone with her skills. Our money is made from liquor and girls.”
Her head snapped up. “I thought you didn’t have prostitutes.”
“We don’t, in the conventional sense. We rent the rooms to the girls who then do whatever they want in them. They live there.”
“So you rent to all kinds of women?” Her spoon clattered against the bowl. “Or just prostitutes?”
“Nellie, don’t get upset. Prostitutes are found all over San Francisco. It’s the way of it here. There are not enough women for the number of men and prostitution fills part of that need.” He narrowed his gaze. “Don’t tell me you’re going to be a prig about this.”
She frowned. “Not approving of prostitution, doesn’t make me a prig.”
“Does out here. Without the prostitutes, men would rape the so-called good women, the wives and mothers, which we also have. It wouldn’t be pretty. The girls serve a need and they want to do it. To them it’s just a job. No one is forcing them.”
“I see your point, but I still don’t like it.” Her hands clenched around her napkin in her lap. “The idea of selling sex goes against everything I was taught.”
“Yes, I know the activity does, but these are the times we live in.”
James took away the soup bowls and brought salads of fresh greens. He refilled Nellie’s wine glass after serving the new dish.
Nellie looked at the glass of dark, red liquid. “I have to admit, I don’t usually drink wine but this is really very good.”
“You might want to drink it slowly. It can have a vicious kick that sneaks up on you.”
“Nonsense. It’s just fermented grape juice. Nothing wrong with grape juice.”
They finished their salads. James brought their entrées of slices of rare roast beef and parsley-baked potatoes with fresh asparagus.
“James, may I please have some more wine.”
Nellie lifted her empty wine glass.
“Don’t you like wine, Blake? I’ve never seen you drink anything. Robert used to have a brandy or two before bed. Do you drink br…brandy, Blake?
“I have a brandy each night. Other than that, I’m not a drinker.”
“That’s probably a good t’ing for yer line of work. If you drank, you might lose track of yer customers.” She hiccupped. Her eyes widened and she pressed a hand to her mouth. “Excuse, me.”
“I think you’ve had enough wine for tonight. I don’t want to be responsible for your headache tomorrow.”
“Don’t b..be silly.” She giggled. Why aren’t my words coming out right?
“Have you finished with your dinner? I think it might be time to get you to bed.”
“Are you sleeping with me?”
“Yes, I plan on it.”
She gave him a wide smile. “That’s good. I like waking up with you.”
“I like waking up with you, too.”
“Blake, do you think we’ll have children? Do you want children?”
Tears formed. What if he didn’t want children?
“Yes, I definitely want children. You remember that we need to make love in order to have more children, yes?”
“Of course. I’ve known that all along. I want to make love with you. Will you make love to me, Blake? You said I had to ask.” She flung her arms wide. “So, so I’m asking.”
“You’re drunk, Nellie. Nothing you say can be taken seriously. Let’s talk about it tomorrow.”
She closed her eyes.
“I seem to be tired. I think I should go to bed now.”
“That’s the most sensible thing you’ve said. I’ll help you.”
He stood and took her arm.
She stumbled over her own feet and landed against him.
Blake shook his head, bent and picked her up in his arms.
“Amn’t I too heavy for you?”
“No, you’re light as a feather.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and cuddled to his chest. Then she took a deep breath.
“I like the way you smell.”
He chuckled. “Thank you.”
“Well, don’t you like the way I smell?”
Still chucking, he said, “Right now you smell like wine. Normally, I do like the way you smell.”
“Oh, I stink!” She arched in his hold.
“No, calm down, you don’t stink. You smell wonderful.”
She smiled and relaxed against him. “Really?”
“Really, now just let me get you into bed.”
“Oh, I’d like that.”
“I thought you might.”
He carried her upstairs, sure she’d pass out before he reached her rooms.
CHAPTER 6
He was wrong.
She was still wide awake and determined to get out of her clothes herself. Every time he tried to open the buttons on her blouse, he had his hand slapped away.
She blinked and fumbled with them herself.
Finally, she sat on the bed and said, “I can’t undo them.” Then she waited and pouted until he came back to the bed to help her.
Several minutes and suit, blouse, corset, chemise, slips and pantaloons later, he had her undressed. She was lovely. Perfect breasts with beautiful dark pink nipples. Small waist and generous hips. The hour-glass figure that all women aspired to achieve with their clothing and Nellie had a perfect one without any of the garments.
Just seeing her naked body made him ache, but he would not take advantage. No matter what she said, if they made love now, in the morning, she would resent him.
That didn’t mean he wouldn’t sleep with her, he’d give himself that exquisite torture. Holding her naked body in his arms and not making love to her was definitely torture, but in the best way.
He turned down the covers, picked her up and laid her in the middle of the bed.
Then he stripped and climbed in bed next to her, taking her in his arms.
She laid her head on his chest and her arm over his stomach and was fast asleep in seconds.
He shook his head and smiled. “What am I going to do with you, sweet Nellie?”
*****
She awoke, her head pounding, unable to move for the pain. A groan escaped between her lips.
“How are you feeling this morning?”
Did she hear laughter in his voice?
“Terrible. I have a splitting headache. Do you have any willowbark tea?
“I’ve had some sent up earlier. I didn’t know when you would awaken, so it’s cold, but it should still help you. Here, sit up.”
Nellie sat up, uncaring of her nudity, only feeling the hammering against her skull. She drank the cold tea in a few gulps, hoping it would work soon.
“Don’t ever let me drink wine again.”
He laughed. “I tried to keep you from drinking so much last night. You were unstoppable.”
Somehow realizing through the pain that she should cover up, she pulled the sheet around her and tucked it under her arms
.
“Please don’t cover up on my account. I love looking at your feminine charms.”
The light was too bright and made her head ache more. “They are called breasts and they are to feed babies. Can’t you close the drapes? It’s much too light in here.”
“And they please the man who’s hungry for you.” He got out of bed, walked to the window and then closed the drapery.
Even in her pain-filled haze she felt her cheeks heat. She didn’t think anything would embarrass her this morning but he’d managed to do it. Him and his magnificent body. Sometimes she wanted him so much, she almost forgot the fear.
“Must you say those things?”
“I only speak the truth, Nellie.”
His eyes turned dark gray with what she knew was desire. She recognized the look as the same one that Robert had when he’d wanted to have sex.
“I do hunger for you.”
She searched her foggy memory. “You didn’t take advantage of me last night, did you?
“No,” he shook his head and leaned against the door jamb leading to his rooms. “I didn’t. But how did you know?”
“I don’t feel abused.”
“Why would I abuse you? No pain should happen in lovemaking.”
Unable to meet his gaze, she shrugged. “There is always pain, at least there was with Robert. He liked to cause me pain.”
“No.” He nearly shouted it and came over to her. Then quietly he said, “I will never, cause you pain. I will only give you pleasure. I promise you this and I never break my promises.”
“Are you telling me my husband was…was…” Swallowing hard, she couldn’t say it. She couldn’t even think it. That all lovemaking was not like Robert performed boggled her mind.
“Was a sick bastard. It’s one thing to give you pain when you enjoy it but quite unacceptable to give you anything but pleasure otherwise.”
“Pleasure.” She laughed a bitter laugh. “You make it sound so easy. If that’s true why would Robert, who purported to love me, not give me that pleasure?”
“I told you. There was something wrong with him. Did you love him?”
Rubbing a hand across her aching forehead, she hesitated. Did she? Had she ever or was her relationship one of convenience?
“I think now I was used to Robert. He and I were betrothed when we were children. When my parents were still wealthy. When I was seventeen, a year after we married, my parents lost most of their money in some bad investments. They later died in a boating accident. Some people, my in-laws, said Father arranged an explosion that killed himself and my mother, because he could no longer face what he’d done when he lost their money on a shipping investment. You see, the ships all sank in a hurricane taking all hands, as well as the silks and spices with them”
Nellie (The Brides of San Francisco Book 1) Page 6
