“Why do you open so early? Surely no one really wants to drink and well, you know, that early in the morning.”
Blake continued to drink his coffee and pick at his breakfast. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get to work and she liked being able to talk to him, without anyone else around. It was almost intimate.
Deciding she was hungry, she rose from the table and walked to the buffet, where all the delicious breakfast dishes were laid out.
“The miners work shifts twenty-four hours a day. Sailors will get off the ships and carouse for a straight twenty-four hours or more, when they’re given shore leave. We are open to cater to them. They want to be able to relax and have a drink and talk to a pretty girl at all hours of the day and night. We gratify those needs.”
“I suppose. It’s just hard for me to get used to. A business that stays open around the clock.” She glanced over her shoulder.
He drained his coffee and set the cup back in the saucer. “It’s the nature of the beast. We are providing a service, and we do it when our customers need us. It would be ridiculous to only operate banker’s hours.”
She returned to the table with a plate laden with fluffy scrambled eggs, avocado slices, fried potatoes and toast. “Pass the marmalade, please. Are there many places like yours? Will Maddie find a job right away if you fire her?”
“Why are you so worried about Maddie?” He frowned. “She’ll be fine. She always lands on her feet. Mine wasn’t the first place she’s worked, and it won’t be the last.”
“I just don’t want her becoming destitute and then blaming you. I’ve told you I think she could become dangerous.” She speared a piece of creamy avocado. It had become one of her favorite foods, so Cook saw that it was available at every meal. “She’s very bold, coming here like she did. Who’s to say she wouldn’t come again?”
“She was drunk, Nellie. That’s all. It won’t happen again.”
“I hope you’re right. I won’t let her hurt my family.”
He cocked his head and smiled. “Am I part of your family, Nellie?”
“Of course, you are.” She felt the heat rise up her neck and knew she blushed. “You’re my husband. I won’t let her hurt you either, Blake. Not if I can help it.”
He reached across the table and placed his hand on top of hers. “You make it very easy, Nellie, very easy indeed. Too bad I’m not that kind of man.”
“Very easy for what? You’re not what kind of man?”
“Very easy to fall in love with you, if I was that kind of man. But I’m not.” He withdrew his hand and forked a sausage. “You have as much of me as I’m capable of giving.”
“So you’ll never fall in love with me, is that what you’re saying? You’ll never have that kind of fulfillment that only love can bring?” Saddened that he felt that way, she also became determined to prove him wrong.
“I guess not. I’ve been in many relationships with women, but never loved them, at least not enough to give up my freedom. You’re the first one I’ve married.”
“That doesn’t count. You’d have married me, no matter who I was.”
“True, but no one else could have touched me like you do. You’re the closest I’ve come to loving a woman.”
How could he believe he wasn’t capable of love? “What about the children? I know you love Violet and I think Henry is growing on you.”
“I do love them. It’s a different kind of love than I have for a woman. They are innocent, pure. No woman is that, can be that.” He waved a hand in her direction. “You are probably as close as I’ve ever come to finding that innocence.”
Anger rose inside her. He was so jaded he believed the drivel he was saying. “You want innocence? You don’t want a woman, you want a pet.” She got up from the table. “Come see me when you realize that only a woman, no, only I, can satisfy your real needs. Good day, sir.”
Blake sat there and smiled. She really was magnificent when she was angry. He couldn’t blame her. She thought after last night that he loved her, but she’d learn. She’d also learn that he wouldn’t stay away, not now that he’d gotten a taste of her sweet body. Oh no, she was his, his wife, and one taste was not enough. He wasn’t sure if he could ever get enough of his little wife, but he would try. He was going to make love to her as soon as she gave him permission. She was so passionate. If he didn’t have to go to work, he’d start right now. Oh well, tonight would be soon enough.
*****
An hour later, Blake was gone and the children and Bertha came down to eat.
Henry was very quiet at breakfast.
“Henry, are you feeling well?” asked Nellie.
“Yes, Mama. I’m fine.”
“You’re not your usual self this morning. You’re so quiet.”
“I’m just thinking.”
“What has you thinking so hard?”
“I was thinking about Daddy.”
Nellie stopped, the cup she’d been lifting clattered to the saucer. How long since she’d thought about Robert with something other than fear? Shouldn’t she feel something kind for him? After all he was the father of her two children. But she couldn’t. After learning what real lovemaking might be, all she felt for Robert was loathing, and relief that he was dead.
But Henry didn’t know that, would never know that his father was a monster. Robert had always doted on Henry, treated him like a friend rather than a son. Nellie wouldn’t take those memories away from her son. He needed them.
She took a deep breath. “And what were you thinking?” She almost dreaded the answer.
“That you don’t seem to miss him anymore. Not since you married Blake.” He pulled his brows together. “Shouldn’t you still miss Daddy, too?”
“Henry, I wish your father was here,” she said truthfully, “so I could tell him just what I feel, but he isn’t. The time has come for me to let him go. You still have your memories of your father and no one can take those away, but you should find room in your heart for Blake, too.” She reached over and took his hand in hers. “He’s a good man and saved us. You must always remember that. We would be destitute and probably separated, if not for Blake.”
“What is destitute?” he asked before he took a bite of his oatmeal.
“It means without support. I would have had to leave you and Violet with your grandparents and go find work that probably would not support us all. That would be wonderful for your grandparents, but I couldn’t have borne it.” She shuddered at the thought. “I wanted us all to be together and so I married Blake.”
“Why do you sleep with him now? We can’t come in and see you or sleep with you when we’re scared because of him.”
He set down his spoon and, frowning, put his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands.
She hadn’t seen him pout in a long time, but thought he was entitled. Losing his father had been hardest on Henry. Over the years, she had a niggling of what kind of man Robert really was. It was hard for her to believe that every woman suffered as she did, but having no female friends, she wasn’t sure. Even if she’d loved him, which she didn’t, she never have missed him like Henry did.
“Henry, all you have to do is knock on the door. I’m still here for you whenever you need me. I sleep with Blake because that is what married people do. Remember when your father was alive? I slept with him, too, and you couldn’t come in without knocking then, either. Remember?”
He nodded.
“This is no different than it was then. What is really bothering you?”
“You’re forgetting Daddy,” he blurted out. “I don’t want another daddy.”
Ah, the truth comes out. “And you don’t have one. Blake is not trying to take your father’s place. You know that.”
“But Violet calls him Daddy and he’s not. I’ll never call him Daddy.”
Nellie was surprised at the vehemence her son possessed. And the fear he was displaying. They’d been there more than a month, and this was the first that he’d spoken of
missing his father. She’d thought he’d healed and only thought of Robert sporadically. But she was wrong. Robert was on Henry’s mind a lot, apparently.
“No one is asking you to call Blake, Daddy. Violet does because she never had a father before. Your father managed to get himself killed before Violet ever knew him.”
“He didn’t die on purpose, Mama.”
“I know he didn’t.” But I couldn’t be happier that he’s dead, now that I know what he did to me isn’t normal. Your father was a bastard, a monster. “But that is neither here nor there anymore.” She straightened. “I’ve made my decision about this and I married Blake. I’m very happy with that decision, and so is Violet. You don’t have to be, but I wish you’d try. Blake is a good man, and even if you can’t find it in your heart to love him, you should respect him and emulate him.”
Henry squinted his eyes. “What does emulate mean?”
“It means you should be like him. I’m saying you should grow up to be like Blake. He’s a caring man and a good example for you.”
Henry nodded his understanding.
Although he still pouted, Nellie could also see he was weighing her words in comparison to what he knew about Blake.
Finally, he said, “I’ll try, Mama.”
“That’s all I ask Henry.”
He seemed to be comforted, because he came and gave her a hug before he turned and left her, without a pout on his face.
*****
That night, Nellie readied for bed in her flannel nightgown. No need to put on her silk one since Blake would not be coming to her tonight. In a way, she would miss him. She’d grown accustomed to having him to hold, resting her head on his arm while she played with his chest hair. Or spooning with him behind her, molding his body to hers. Oh well, there would be nights that he would not be with her and she should get used to it.
Hours later, she woke to the most delicious sensations. Her nipples were hard and the pulling on her center was most pleasant. She felt Blake at her breast and knew he hadn’t stayed away.
“You’re awake. Good. I like to make love to a conscious woman.”
“I thought you were staying in your room tonight.” She found her fingers ran through the hair at the nape of his neck, of their own accord, letting it curl around them.
“You thought wrong.”
He kissed her between her breasts, then moved ever upward over her neck, to her chin and then to her lips.
“You said…”
“Nothing. You said I would sleep in my room. I never agreed. I like sleeping with you or more precisely, I like making love to you, with you as a willing participant.”
“And if I’m not willing?”
“Then we don’t make love, but your body has to tell me it’s not willing. Not your words.”
She took a deep breath and let it out. “Then I shall never be unwilling. The things you do to my body…they only make me want more, and you know it.”
He chortled softly. “I know.”
His fingers pressed down on her mons and into her.
Pulse racing, she sucked in a breath. “Blake!” She closed her eyes and moaned. “God, what you do to me.”
He took her to oblivion and beyond before guiding her back to earth.
Nellie never knew how much pleasure there was to be had through the act of making love, but Blake was a patient teacher. “I want you to make love to me. All the way. I want to know what pleasure can be had in the act.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to force you into anything.”
She touched his lips with hers. “I’m sure.”
He stood and shucked his clothes in what must have been record time, and then was back with her on the bed. He rested between her spread legs and looked at her.
Unable to stop, she braced for the pain, grabbing the sheets in tight hands.
“Why are you grimacing? Don’t you remember what I said? No pain ever again.” He smiled. “I promise.”
He stroked her and built the fires within her again to the point of no return, and then he was at her entrance, his member pressing against her opening. Slowly he slid into her a short way and stopped.
“Are you alright? Are you having any pain?” The words came out of him in a guttural groan.
“No. I’m fine,” she said, amazed at the sensation and that he’d taken the moment to ask. “Please continue.”
Smiling, he plunged into her, embedding himself to the hilt. Fully, completely. Then he stopped and held perfectly still.
She saw the beads of sweat run down his temples.
“Blake?”
“And now? Are you having any discomfort?
“Only when you stop. I like the way you feel, I’m full and it’s wonderful, now move.” She thrust up her hips.
“Yes, ma’am,” he ground out. “Your wish is my command.”
He pulled out and then plunged back in. In and out. Again and again.
She found her rhythm quickly and worked with him, so he filled her completely with each movement in. She was becoming frantic, she scored his back with her nails, and pressed her head into the pillow.
“Please!” she begged.
He put his weight upon one arm and took his other hand, reached between them and manipulated her pleasure bud.
At his touch, she burst into a million shiny pieces, better than the first time because, after she did, so did he.
He groaned, shouted her name pumped hard, harder than ever before and she could feel his hot seed within her. He buried his face in the soft area between her neck and her shoulder. He laid there for a few moments, breathing hard. Then he raised his head and kissed her soundly.
“Did you have fun? Was the coupling pleasant for you?”
He had a grin on his face like the cat that ate the cream. He knew it was the most wonderful experience she’d ever had, but he had to hear it and maybe, she needed to say it.
“It was wonderful. I’ve never felt…never had pleasure like that, but, of course, you already know that.”
“I do.”
He pulled out of her, rolled to his back and brought her with him.
“I just wanted to hear you say it. I had to know you enjoyed the act and that you want to do it again.”
“Oh yes, I definitely want to do it again. But you weren’t supposed to sleep here tonight. I was quite angry with you this morning.”
“I know. And now? Are you still angry?”
“No. How can I be angry when I feel so good?” She rolled away, crossed her arms over her bosom. “It’s not fair.”
He laughed heartily and pulled her back against him.
“You’re a surprise, Nellie. A wonderful surprise. Now turn over and go to sleep. Morning comes early and so do the little ones.”
She grunted and begrudgingly turned on her side and let him spoon with her. She was still mad, but she couldn’t help but smile. He must have felt her do it because he squeezed her closer and kissed her neck.
“Sleep, sweetheart. You’ve earned it.”
She closed her eyes, but sleep failed her and she lay awake for hours, trying to understand the man she married. He was kind and loving to the children and to her, but he was also distant.
He wouldn’t confide in her about his business and she found it frustrating as hell.
*****
A knock sounded on the parlor door.
“Enter.” Nellie looked up from the novel she was reading.
“Madam, there is a gentleman to see you,” James held up a card and read from it. “Mr. Adolphus Balfour, Attorney-at-law. From New York.”
“Show him in, please.” Nellie patted her hair to make sure is was in place and waited for the gentleman.
James returned with a tall, slender man sporting full sideburns and mustache that grew into one another so it looked like he had a beard but just over his upper lip. His chin was bare. He wore a dark brown suit that matched his hair and a black bowler hat.
“Mr. Adolphus Balfour, of New Yo
rk, at your service, Mrs. Malone.” He walked to where Nellie stood by the settee, her book open on the seat. He took her outstretched hand and shook it precisely twice, then released her.
“Please Mr. Balfour, be seated.” She picked up her book and stashed it in her knitting basket at her feet.
“Thank you, ma’am.”
He waited until Nellie sat before sitting on the end of the settee away from her.
“What can I do for you, sir?”
“I’m here on behalf of Mr. R. Edward Wallace, Senior, your father-in-law.”
“My former father-in-law,” corrected Nellie.
“Yes, ma’am, I misspoke. “
“What does Edward want?” Her heart began to pound.
“Your former mother-in-law, Edith Wallace has passed away and Mr. Wallace desires to see his grandson, Henry Wallace, who is his heir.”
A frisson of fear climbed her spine. “Why would Edward need an attorney in order to see Henry? Why not just come himself?”
“As you know, he is quite feeble and is unable to make the long journey required. He wishes for Henry to come to see him, perhaps to live and go to school in New York.”
Nellie’s ire rose, but her voice remained controlled. “I’m not sending my son to live with his grandfather. We escaped that situation once, I won’t be put in that position again, nor have my children put in that position.”
“Mr. Wallace was afraid that would be your reply and asked me to give you this letter.”
She took the envelope from him and put her finger under the wax seal and opened it. She unfolded the letter and began to read:
July 2, 1867
My dear Nellie.
As Mr. Balfour has no doubt told you, Edith died. I understand that life was difficult for you when you lived here before. I can promise, if you return with the children, that will no longer be the case. I’m prepared to offer to raise and educate both Henry and Violet and for you to serve as my hostess so you can, of course, be with them.
Nellie (The Brides of San Francisco Book 1) Page 8
