She drops her gaze to the floor and remains silent, hesitant.
“Yeva, look at me and tell me what happened with Elena,” I order. Can’t she see I have no fucking patience?
“Sir, Elena is not happy.”
“Why? Did she tell you why?”
She nods. “I’m sorry to get in your business, sir, but why not let her go?”
I swallow hard. “Is that what she wants?” I ask, my voice low, almost a whisper.
“I’m not sure if that’s what she wants, but I believe that’s what she thinks she needs.”
My throat constricts as I take a step back. Why do Yeva’s words feel like a knife to my swollen heart? Sorrow shreds my insides as I make my way back to my desk. I walk slowly, feeling like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. My feet can barely carry me anymore.
“I know you care about her. She might not see it, but I do. But for the sake of her own good, you know that keeping her here is not good for her, sir.”
The room starts spinning around me and I suddenly start feeling cold. Standing in front of my desk with my back to Yeva, I shut my eyes and try to focus on my breathing.
“I’m sorry, sir. Hope you’re not mad at me.”
“I need to be alone,” I say firmly.
“Sir . . .”
“Pozhaluysta.” Please. I say calmly.
Without saying another word, she walks out of the room.
I take a seat on one of the chairs across from my desk and loosen a few buttons of my shirt. The room is getting hotter and it’s getting even harder to breathe as seconds go by. I knew this was going to happen. I knew keeping her here for selfish reasons would come back and destroy me. I know I’m a cruel monster for keeping someone against their will under my mercy. But can you blame me? Can you blame me for trying to feed the beast inside and make it happy? It’s been broken, lost, and miserable for so long. I only found myself when I found her. Letting her go is like letting a part of me go. A part I struggled for so long to find. Stupid me for thinking I could make her happy the way things are right now. Of course she would never be happy with a monster like me. Because I feed off of her submission and vulnerability. It’s what gets my heart thumping in my chest like a drum. It’s what keeps me hopeful and cheerful.
The phone rings, but it doesn’t startle me this time. I pick it up and don’t say anything. I wait for the caller to speak, because I know who it is. And I already know what he wants.
“Pavlov. You have until after tomorrow to hand Elena back. Or else, you won’t be so happy. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Then he hangs up.
Silence.
Pain.
Ringing in my ear.
It’s the end.
I get up slowly, feeling numb all over. I grab the whiskey bottle sitting on my desk and pour some in my empty glass. I then grab the glass and bring it to my lips. The smell is strong and powerful. Just like how I used to be, before her, before she consumed all of me, before she owned me, mind, body, and soul.
My lips part, inviting the liquid in. But I don’t drink it. Instead, I throw the glass across the room. It shatters on the floor into a million pieces. Just like my heart.
I ruin every painting and every statue that once belonged to my father. Maybe because of him I am the way I am. Or maybe the death of my mother left me in torment all these years. I howl like a beast in extreme pain, releasing the pain I feel on the inside. And for the first time ever, nobody came to check up on me. None of my staff members because they know. They know the end is around the corner, and there’s no escaping from it anymore.
Maksim
“Father, do you hear me? Please stay with me.” Crying in pain, I press on my father’s heart. The bullet went right through it and it’s gushing out blood. He stares into my eyes and chokes on the blood that’s spilling out of his mouth. He struggles to say something, but I know he can’t anymore. The man I loved the most, who raised me and took care of me after the death of my mother, is dying in my arms. And I’m unable to do anything about it.
“Noooo!” I howl, pressing harder on his wound. My hands are bloody and my vision is blurry with all the tears that keep streaming down my cheeks.
As he takes his last breath, sadness crushes me and my body feels leaden. His lifeless body rests in my arms. So much blood around us and I can barely contain the anger that’s rising within me.
“Who?” I shout in the café while my father’s men stand helpless, gazing at the floor as shame corrodes their insides.
“We believe it’s Leonardo Romano, sir. But we still don’t know who it was exactly who shot him,” says Mikhail.
I rise from the floor and without having any control over my movements, I punch him right in the nose.
“Why the fuck were you hired then? You were supposed to protect him,” I bark.
Mikhail covers his bloody nose with the palm of his hand and remains silent, unmoving.
“I want Leonardo. Nobody kills him, do you understand? I want him alive.”
“Sir? Are you okay?”
I flinch at the touch of Mikhail on my shoulder. I look at him, still feeling like I’m trapped in a daze.
“What? How long have you been standing there?”
“Couple of minutes, sir. You looked deep in your thoughts. You weren’t responding to me.”
I look around me. It takes me a moment to realize I’m still in my office. I look at the mess I’ve made and shake my head.
“What time is it right now?”
“It’s 6:00 p.m., sir. Alyona wanted me to tell you that your dinner is ready. And also we have a lead to Leonardo tonight.”
My ears perk up and I rise from my seat. “Continue.”
“He’s going to be having dinner tonight at a restaurant. We heard he’s going to be there with two other men for business purposes. I already spoke to the guys and we have a plan set up to take him down,” he explains.
Narrowing my eyes at his words, I say, “We’ve been trying to catch him for years. He never has meetings outside of his comfort zone. Why now?”
“I thought about the same thing, sir. Hence why we’re doubling security. I trust the source.”
As tempting as it sounds, something deep inside of me is telling me it’s just another game of Leonardo’s. But I don’t have a choice. I’m desperate to end this man’s life as soon as possible so Elena’s protected and safe. I nod. If I end up indeed catching Leonardo, God only knows what’s going to happen to him then.
As soon as the dark night descended, every single one of my men got into position. Some are inside the restaurant and others are outside. The ones inside look like they’re customers. Some are having drinks with their friends, who are also part of the security team, and others are with beautiful women who were paid enough to risk their lives. At first, I didn’t wanna involve women. But Mikhail thought it was necessary if we wanna succeed in taking Leonardo down, or else it would be too obvious that it’s an act.
“Everything’s good?” I ask Mikhail through the wireless earpiece I’m wearing.
“Yes, sir. Target is entering now.”
Sitting in one of the cars outside, I can’t contain my excitement and the blood that’s rushing through my veins. The driver hands me the binoculars and I instantly look through them.
I see three men walking over to one of the booths. When I see him, the need to storm into that restaurant and end his life right there and then is hard to control. Rage quickens my blood as I stare at him. If my eyes could shoot bullets, he’d be long dead by now.
He turns to the right, giving me full exposure of his face, and something flashes in me. I realize that this man’s hair isn’t as white as Leonardo’s hair is. Besides the hair, I look at his posture. This man is skinnier than Leonardo. Something just doesn’t seem right. I narrow my eyes and then I finally see it when the man fully turns around. Leonardo has a tattoo in the back of his neck that represents his family’s name. This man doesn�
�t.
As the logic finally sets in, I reach for my earpiece to make the announcement to Mikhail and then the calls of war pierce the air. The restaurant turns into a battlefield as the room erupts with gunfire. I get out of the car and begin shouting.
“We need backup. Everybody outside go in and fight.”
As I make my way to the restaurant, a heavy body wrenches me to the floor.
“Get back in the car, sir, your life is in danger,” says Mikhail as his men surround me and pull me from the ground, shoving me inside the car.
“Listen. Make sure everyone’s safe. Whoever’s left anyway,” I blurt out as the doors close and the driver speeds up ahead.
I cover my face with my palms. Guilt, fear, and regret wash over me at the thought of how stupid this plan was. I knew it was gonna be a trap. I look through the window to my right and replay the events and the moment I noticed it was all an act. I shut my eyes and allow the embarrassment to coil around me. I should have followed my gut feeling because this shit would have never happened if I did. But I did it for her. I’ve been desperate and acting out of my fucking mind. All in hopes to keep her, to not lose her. Killing Leonardo is the answer to it all . . . Or not. Because she will never be happy if I keep her locked away in my house. It’s mentally and physically draining. I can keep lying and fool myself all I want, but the answer to what lurks in the dark corners of my mind is clear and simple—she will never be happy with a beast like me.
“We’re here, sir.” The driver’s voice brings me back to reality. To the life I found myself in and that I never wanted to be part of in the first place.
I get out of the car and close the passenger’s door behind me. With my eyes pinned on the floor, I fill my lungs with air and let it out smoothly as soon as I step inside the house. It’s calm and quiet. Everyone must be asleep by now. I remove my suit jacket and hand it over to one of the security men standing at the door. I then stare at the staircase for a while before lifting my chin up, swallowing hard, and finally taking the stairs to go see her.
Elena
Staring at the food tray sitting on the table across the room, my thoughts are all about him. I gaze through the window at the stars, which are shining brighter than usual tonight. I bring my knees closer to my chest. My bones ache and my heart stutters as I drown in my own grief. I haven’t seen him since last night, and as much as my mind knows it’s what’s good for me, my poor heart doesn’t agree with what my brain struggles to grasp. Why does it feel like the end is approaching?
I feel his presence as soon as he enters the room. A soft gasp escapes my lips, but I don’t turn my head to look at him. I keep my eyes pinned on the window. I hug my knees even tighter as I hear his footsteps approaching. He takes a seat on top of the bed. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before opening them and facing him.
He looks as broken as I feel on the inside, with dark circles underneath his eyes. Our eyes meet and for a moment, silence takes over. We allow both our eyes to devour each other from a distance. Feeling the heat that radiates from our bodies. The fire in his eyes is still there, but he looks defeated, downhearted, and completely sorrowful.
“I tried so hard to protect my father from your uncle once they stopped working together, but I failed. He died in my arms and I was helpless. I couldn’t do anything to bring him back.”
He pauses and holds his arm out to me. I gaze at him, confused and unmoving.
“Come. I won’t hurt you, I promise,” he says softly. And just like a woman in a daze, I walk over to him and sit on his lap. He wraps his arm around my waist and moves my hair to one side with the other. He pulls me gently against his chest and tilts my chin up with his finger until I’m staring up into his eyes.
“You’re beautiful. Have I ever told you that?”
I place my shaky palm on his cheek and whisper against his lips, “What happened?”
With a slight upward quirk to his lips, he pulls me even harder against his chest, leaving absolutely no space between us.
“Can I make love to you tonight?”
My eyebrows furrow as I swallow thickly.
“You usually never ask,” I reply hesitantly.
His behavior is strange and scary at the same time. But I can’t help the tension that’s building up inside of me. For the first time ever, I feel like we are both at peace. And I don’t want to waste this moment, even though I know, deep down, that this is a goodbye.
I lean in and take his lips in mine. Tears roll down my cheeks as our lips work their magic. Our kiss is tender and without lust. But a moment later, it changes. Like it always does. We devour each other and rip each other’s clothes. Consuming one another.
As soon as his cock is free and out of his pants, he slides it into me and keeps an even pace as he pounds inside of me. We stare into each other’s eyes as he continues fucking me. I can tell he’s struggling to not be harsh and merciless. I wrap my arms around the back of his neck and enjoy the sight of him as he claims everything that I am and everything I’ll ever be. Without him, both my soul and body are nothing.
With our fingers intertwined, he releases his seed deep inside of me and groans in my ear. My body jerks and writhes underneath him.
“Maksim?”
I ask as he struggles to gain his strength back and slides out of me.
“Yes?”
I fight the tears that could stream down my cheeks any minute now. “Can you stay here tonight?”
He pulls me in his arms and I bring my head over his chest. I listen to his heartbeat as it matches mine. The sound is like a melody to my ear. I would give anything to remain safe in his embrace. If only we didn’t live in an ugly world like this one.
I open my mouth to say something when the sound of his heavy breathing cuts me off. I look up at him, sleeping peacefully with his eyes closed. He looks even more handsome in his sleep. I watch the gentle rise of his chest. He looks so at peace that touching him and waking him up would be a sin. Whatever happened today is something he didn’t want to talk about. But I know it must have shaken him. I’ve never seen him so defeated like this.
Anxiety crawls back as the memory of his face flashing something even deeper as he stared at me earlier. I shut my eyes and fight the sleep to take over. Any nightmare would be better than the farewell I saw in his eyes earlier. A tear rolls down my temple and lands on his firm chest, followed by another one, and another until I’m sobbing silently in the dark. I don’t know how the goodbye is going to happen, but I don’t want to think about it in this beautiful moment. I force my mind to believe that this is how he and I are going to be from now on, always next to each other, making love and ignoring the world and its problems. The thought calms my anxiety and fear, replacing them with hope and faith. Because if this life couldn’t give me the happily ever after I so desperately believed in, then another life will definitely give me it.
I know it.
I feel it.
Elena
I walk out of my bathroom after taking a cold shower. When I woke up this morning, he wasn’t there. As usual, the feeling of emptiness haunts me back. Hence why I cherish the moments that are spent alone with him, where life feels weightless on my shoulders. I just never know when they’ll happen again, if ever.
“Ms. Romano.”
A voice comes from behind me, making me flinch. I turn around to find Mikhail standing at the door. He has a black eye and several bruises on his face.
“Oh my God, Mikhail, what happened?” I gasp.
“I’m fine, Ms. Romano. I wanted to tell you that sir will be busy today, so you most likely won’t see him. If you need anything, let me know.”
“Where is he?”
“He has work.”
I nod and take the stairs down to the kitchen. Before going in, I stay right next to the door and lean in until my ear is against it.
“Yes, but everything that’s been happening is because of her. Can’t you see how much trouble sir has been getting in ever sin
ce he brought her here?” says Alyona.
“You can’t blame it on the poor girl. What happened yesterday was an attack made by Leonardo Romano. He and sir haven’t been good in years because of what happened to his father. Elena has nothing to do with it,” explains Yeva.
“His blood runs in her veins. At the end of the day, she’s just like him. I don’t understand why sir won’t let her go, or get rid of her.”
“Alyona, that’s not nice to say. Sir clearly cares a lot about her. If he didn’t, he would have ended her life long time ago.”
I close my eyes and inhale. I can barely move after hearing their conversation. I’ll never be wanted here no matter what happens. And even though Alyona’s words are harsh and heartrending, she is right about everything she said. Something bad must have happened last night and it’s all because of my uncle, hence why Maksim looked dejected.
I open the door and fake a smile on my lips. They both smile back and change the subject immediately. I don’t comment on what I heard and pretend like I know nothing about their conversation, or what happened yesterday, which for sure is the cause behind Mikhail’s bruised face.
By the time we finish our breakfast, I remain with Yeva the whole time, helping her out with whatever work she has and just following her everywhere she goes. Besides Maksim, she’s the only person I feel safe with. The only person who understands me and doesn’t hate me for my family’s name. It’s not my fault that I was born into a family like mine. It’s sad that I have to be reminded of it every single time through people’s looks, their words, and their actions toward me. I’ll never be wanted as long as I keep my last name and define myself by my miserable past. I let out a deep sigh as I put the laundry in the basket. Yeva furrows her eyebrows at me.
“Elena, is everything okay?”
“To be honest with you, Yeva, nothing’s okay,” I say underneath my breath.
At His Mercy Page 12
