No. He wouldn't. The only option was to help her first, and then take her with him on his mission. And then…die he must, for the sake of the world.
She looked at him, those beautiful, courageous blue eyes fastened on him, drawing him out of his grim thoughts. "What are the other bonding stages? How many are there?"
He ran his hand down her arm, feeling the heat sizzling from her skin, focusing only on how good it felt to see his brand forming on her arm. "Trust is one of the stages. It's satisfied when we reveal our greatest secrets to each other, or give the other one the power to kill us."
She nodded, and bit her lip. "What else?"
"Death, where we kill to save the other one, or risk our lives to save the other."
She grimaced. "I can't kill anyone."
"Then we save that one until the end." He knew how the sheva bond worked. When the bond was tight enough, she would do anything to save him, and she wouldn't regret it, just as how she was willing to sacrifice herself for her kingdom.
Maya was a heroine, a protector of the highest sort, and he knew how she would respond when it was time. Until she was ready, however, he would not allow it to happen.
He took her fingers and played with them, marveling at how small her hands were compared to his. He knew they would have to get up and keep moving momentarily, but he wanted this moment with her. Lying in the moss with her entangled in his arms was the first normal moment he'd ever experienced that he could recall. It just felt...good. He didn't want to move. He wanted to be here. He wanted to experience this intimacy with her. He wanted nothing else for at least this moment. He wanted...peace, and in her arms, he felt like he could actually understand what it was. If he wasn't who he was, and if she weren't who she was, they would never have to move. They could lose themselves forever in each other, and in the moss that made their bed.
But that wasn't reality, and life had to move forward. "There's also the blood bond," he said, forcing him back to the conversation about the stages of the sheva bond.
She wrinkled her nose in distaste. "A vampire thing?"
"Kind of." He smiled. "It's a good one, actually." He'd heard other Calydons speak of the blood bond, a ritual that created a connection that lasted over all distances. He was glad he'd managed to escape Rohan without doing one, because the thought of being bound to anyone felt like a noose around his neck. But with Maya, it would be different. It would connect him to the feeling of being human that she gave him. "And then there's transference, when you can call my weapon into your hand in the same way that I can. It responds to you in the same way it obeys me."
"Really?" She flexed her hand, a small frown forming between her brows. "Show me how to do that. I want to learn."
He raised his brows, surprised by her response. "Most women would be trying to hold the bonding stages off, not encouraging them."
She looked at him. "Most women aren't being hunted by deadly shadow wolves who want to kill them, and most women aren't about to barter themselves to a man who wouldn't think twice about killing her if she didn't please him." She sat up, apparently oblivious to the sudden darkness that swirled through him at the idea of her coupling herself with another man. "I've been useless my whole life, Levi. A second-born princess trained to entertain other royalty and set tables, not defend her kingdom. If I'd known more, if my family had known more about self-defense, maybe we wouldn't be where we are. Will you train me, Levi? Will you teach me to be a warrior?"
Something shifted inside his chest at the eagerness on her face. Maya was petite, with a soft heart and a body that matched. There was nothing remotely fierce about her physically, but the fire in her soul seemed to ignite from within. That fact that she had no battle skills, but was still eager to learn, somehow made her seem all the more powerful and formidable.
He grinned, his respect for her growing even more. "Yeah. I'll teach you, on one condition."
She raised her brows. "And what's that?"
"You tell me everything there is to know about the shadow wolves preying upon your kingdom, and the man I'm supposed to deliver you to." He was not going to die with her bound to a bastard. He had to fix that first, no matter what.
She cocked her head, eyeing him with a bold perceptiveness. "There's no other option for me, Levi. You can twist the facts any way you want. I know. I've been doing it, and so did Rohan and Thano and the rest of their team. There's no other way. You can't save me from what I have to do."
He shrugged. "I've killed many people who weren't killable. Impossible means nothing to me. It's an illusion designed to weed out the weak from the strong."
Maya laughed softly. "What kind of argument is that? 'I've killed people who aren't killable, therefore nothing is impossible?' I mean, seriously. That's the kind of logic people use to justify why stabbing a pitchfork through their own eye is a good idea."
Some of his tension eased at her laughter. "It's assassin life wisdom. Do you agree to the deal, or not? I turn you into a badass, and you tell me everything."
She sighed, and poked his chest lightly. "Yes, but I need you to take this seriously. The answer is not to find a new plan. My kingdom needs his sunlight, and there's no other way to get it. I've tried to negotiate with him for over two years, and I even sent a team to try to steal it, but they were all killed. This is the only solution, so I need to be able to defend myself. If you get your wish and I kill you, but manage not to kill myself, I'll need to be able to take care of myself, right?"
He wrapped his hand around her index finger, squeezing gently. "I don't like the idea of you having to defend yourself."
"Then come up with a solution besides you dying, so you can stay around and protect me."
"I can't. There's no other solution."
She raised her eyebrows at him. "Really? So, impossible means nothing when you don't agree with it? But when it's your conclusion, it's not changeable? What kind of life wisdom is that?"
He frowned. "It's different."
"It's not. On the chance I manage not to kill myself after you die, or our plan somehow goes awry, then I need to be able to defend myself." She stood up, her body decadently naked in front of him. The moonlight cast her skin in tones of silver and gray, her curves accentuated by the shadows of the night. She was unashamed of her nakedness, and her boldness made him want to pin her to the ground and make love to her again.
But he'd made love to her once. He'd completed that stage. There was no need to do it again...except, of course, for the fact that he wanted to, which was unusual for him. He didn't crave women, and he didn't burn for physical intimacy. Or he hadn't, until he'd met Maya. He knew that as strong as the sheva bond was, it wasn't responsible for what was driving his need for her. It went deeper than that, and it was more than a simple, physical need. It was something primal, coming from the depths of his soul in response to who she was.
As if feeling his gaze upon her, she turned toward him. "Come on, assassin. Let's turn me into your best protégé before it's too late." She pointed toward the north, toward the highest peak in a distant mountain range. "I have to be there by sunrise tomorrow. We don't have much time."
Levi glanced absently at the mountain in question. "That gives me another night to make love to you—" His attention suddenly snapped to the mountains in the distance. A cold chill knifed through him when he saw the diamond shape of the tallest peak, raking through his bones like the assault of death. He knew that mountain. He knew it so well. That couldn't be the same one, could it? Could he really have been so close to it this entire time?
Sweat trickled down his temple, but he ignored it. "Maya," he said softly, his voice a lethal edge. "What is the name of the man you're planning to give yourself to?" He couldn't believe he hadn't asked that question before now. His life had been so insular, he hadn't even considered he might know the man she'd sold herself to.
She looked over at him, and her face paled at whatever she saw on his face. "Lord William Hotchkiss," she said. "Also known as Me
rk."
"Merk." He echoed the name that had haunted him for so long, and it bled through him like a dagger dragged across his bones. He dropped to his knees, staring out across the valley at the mountain in question. "You're going to sell yourself to Merk."
Maya knelt in front of him. "What's wrong? You're scaring me."
He dragged his gaze off the mountain and grasped her shoulders, his hands shaking. "I was stolen from an orphanage when I was six, by a man who tortured me, twisted my mind and my powers, and turned me into an assassin." Memories flashed through his mind of his childhood, of the pain, the terror, the torment, but he shut them down, refusing to be weakened by them. "He created my compulsion to hunt and kill. He turned me into the monster I am. He controlled my mind, my soul, and my body, until all I cared about was serving him. I killed because of him." He felt sick saying it, because it brought back all the hell he'd endured. It made it so real he could feel the acid burning through his flesh, and his intestines being carved out of his immortal body just to prove a point, and all the other things that had been done to him. "He's a monster, Maya. I was his pawn, but I wasn't the only one. There were other boys, boys who didn't survive the training. As long as he lives, there will be more like me, more boys who he tortures and turns into monsters, more people who get murdered because of his quest for power. He has to die, Maya, and I have to do it."
She nodded silently, her hands wrapped around his wrists. "Okay. I'm not going to judge you for that, if that's what you're asking. The guy sounds like he needs to die." Her forehead wrinkled. "You want to do that first? Is that what you're saying? Because—"
"No." He shook his head, his fingers digging into her shoulders. "His name was Merk, Maya."
Her face went sheet white, and she swayed. "What? I mean, I knew he wasn't a good man, but—"
"You can't do it. You cannot do it."
She shook her head silently and held up her wrist. There was a black, braided bracelet around it made of steel, a bracelet he hadn't even noticed.
His gut turned to ice when he saw it, because he knew what it was.
Maya pointed to the bracelet, the magical noose that signified a metaphysical agreement that couldn't be broken. "The deal has been magically sealed. I'm bound to it, Levi. Unless I die first, I can't break my word." She met his gaze. "There's no way out."
"Then he dies." Levi surged to his feet, staring at the mountain, a hundred years of revenge bleeding through him like bile. "He dies first." It had been his plan all along, and now, it simply added fuel to his motives.
She didn't move from her knees. "If he dies, Levi, he takes his sunlight, and then my kingdom has no protection. He can't die, or my people and my kingdom are lost forever. He has to live."
Levi closed his eyes. "He has to die, Maya. He has to."
She stood up, her hands fisted on her hips. "I won't let you destroy my kingdom, Levi. They're counting on me. I've never done anything admirable in my life, and this is my time. It's my duty. It's my heritage. They must live."
He turned around to face her, and the brave, courageous face he'd admired so much was glaring at him with the absolute resolve to do whatever it took to save her kingdom, including stopping him from killing the man who had to be destroyed.
Chapter 7
Fear was haunting Maya. It was impossible to concentrate on her training when thoughts of Merk, Levi, and ghost wolves kept stalking her. Anxiety danced at the edges of Maya's mind as she tried to focus on Levi's weapon. Come to me, she ordered, using all her mental strength to command it.
Her hand remained empty, and his weapon stayed in his arm. "Dammit." She could feel the burning in her arms from the lines that were drawn there from the first stage of the bond, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't summon Levi's weapon. Frustrated, she set her hands on her hips, wiping the back of her hand across her forehead. "Why can't I do it?"
"Because there's no imminent danger." He was pacing around her, one axe called out and at the ready in his right hand. They'd been moving toward Merk's mountain all day, and he hadn't stopped watching it, or searching the woods behind them. "You can call it in times of need."
"Then attack me." She spread her hands. "Try to kill me."
He stared at her. "No."
"Come on, Levi! I need to practice with it!" She could barely keep her heart from pounding in terror, and she felt utterly defenseless after Levi's revelation. He hadn't said a single thing in response to her statement that Merk had to live to save her kingdom. Silence had fallen after her statement, his face had become a stoic mask, and then, he'd simply inclined his head toward the mountain and said they had to keep moving.
She knew what he was thinking. She knew he would try to kill Merk no matter what she said. His loyalty wasn't to her kingdom, so there was no way he could value it above his own motives of keeping her safe and killing the madman, which she understood, of course. But the kingdom was what mattered to her, and she knew she could never live with herself if she let him destroy the future of her people.
He would get her to Merk safely, but once they got there, their interests would diverge. Was that how it would end? Would she kill her soulmate to protect her kingdom? Could she? Her fingers shook at the idea of killing anyone, and Levi glanced over at her. "You're thinking too much," he said. "You need to have a quiet mind. Don't think about the reality of what you're doing. Just treat your opponent as a puzzle you have to solve before he figures you out. Let your mind whiz through the possibilities, learning his movements, his tells, and his weaknesses. Your mind must move at the speed of light, and you must allow your body to follow instinctively. You'll have no time for conscious thought."
He spun toward her, his axe aiming for her head, but not really, of course. She knew she could stand there and he'd never touch her. But since she was practicing, she pretended he was an evil killer. She ducked to the left and jammed her stick under his raised arm.
Levi raised his brows and stopped. "Really? You stuck a stick in my armpit?"
"Why not? Instinct will make you bring your arm down, won't it?"
He touched his neck. "Throat." He pointed to his crotch. "Balls." He tapped his rock hard stomach. "Abdomen, if you have a weapon. Those are my weak spots." He jammed his fingers toward his eyes. "And if I'm close enough, my eyes."
She dropped the stick, frustrated. "You defend those spots. I'll never get to them."
"Maya." He walked over to her and caught her arm, his eyes blazing. "Don't give up. You're better than you think. The armpit move wasn't bad. I'm just pushing you to get better." His fingers tightened. "Merk is a psychopath," he said softly. "He will hurt you every chance he gets. The moment you get close enough to his mountain that he can sense you, he will hunt you down and make you his in every way you don't want. You must be prepared to fight."
And just like that, the fear was back. "Stop it," she snapped, shoving away from him. "Stop trying to scare me into turning back or letting you kill him. Fear will make it impossible for me to function—"
"Hey." He dragged her against him, catching her in a bruising kiss. Instinctively, she softened against him, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back. The moment she responded, his kiss gentled into a seduction that made her want to lose herself in him forever. I'm sorry. His voice drifted through her mind.
She pulled back to look at him. "You are?"
He sighed and brushed her hair back from her face. "Merk is the one man on this earth who scares me. I had no chance against him, and it took decades of isolation before I got my sanity back. I'm fucking terrified of what he will do to you, and yeah, I want you to get so scared that you run far away before he can get his claws into you." His arm tightened around her waist. "I swear I will do everything I can to keep you safe, but I don't know if it's enough. I don't know if I can defeat him. I couldn't before."
The fear in his eyes was real, and it settled deep inside her, mixing with the same fear that had been haunting her for so many years.
"I've lived in fear since the shadow wolves attacked my kingdom and killed my parents. Every morning since then, when I get up, the first thing I do is look at the horizon and see if they're back." God, she'd never forget that daily fear, the aversion to opening the curtains and looking out. Her hands shaking every single morning that she grabbed the fabric and dragged it open, praying that they would be spared one more day. "Every night when I go to bed, I wonder if the morning is when they will come again. Three times, I've woken up and seen the shadows. The first time, they killed my parents and half the village. The second time, they attacked my sister, and more villagers. This time, it's me. I have to stop it. I have to."
Levi's face softened, and he sighed, his fingers sliding through her hair, carefully unknotting the tangles "I'm sorry, Maya. No one should have to live in that kind of fear."
She searched his face, and saw understanding beyond what she would have expected. "You know," she said softly. "You know about that fear." How did a lethal Calydon warrior truly understand fear?
He nodded. "When I was a kid, I was scared shitless, but I believed I could escape. I never truly thought he would win. Then I lost my mind, so I felt no fear when I was killing. I was too consumed by the madness. The real fear didn't set in until my sanity returned while I was hanging in that cave. I realized what I had done and how insane I'd been. The whole time I hung there, plotting my escape and Merk's murder, I knew he could find me at any moment. Every second, I waited for him to walk through those tunnels and find me. I was his best asset, and I knew he was searching for me. At any moment, he could have walked up to me, and I had no defenses. He would have reclaimed me, and I would have been lost again." He brushed the hair back from her face, his fingers tangling in the strands. "The moment Rohan cut me free, I felt the most intense sense of power. For the first time since Merk had kidnapped me from that orphanage, I had a chance to defend myself."
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