Unhesitatingly, she kissed him back. And in that instant Cameron realized he was holding in his arms the two people that were most precious to him.
Chapter 15
Rebecca was starting to feel better. She was warm and dry, wrapped in a soft blanket, nestled in a comfortable chair in her bedchamber, relishing the peace and quiet. The household had gone into an uproar when they had returned, wet, shivering and still partially in shock.
Lily had been whisked away to the nursery and put into a hot bath. The little girl later joined the adults for afternoon tea, where she was the undisputed center of attention. After getting herself into dry clothes, Rebecca had made a brief appearance, mainly to assure herself that Lily was suffering no ill effects from her ordeal.
However, the moment she entered the drawing room, Rebecca had instantly been proclaimed a hero for saving Lily and everyone applauded her bravery and daring. The dowager countess had wept and hugged her close; Lady Charlotte also had tears in her eyes as she repeatedly issued her thanks and gratitude.
Lady Marion had declared a reward should be given and had placed herself in charge of determining exactly what that should be. Even Mrs. James had become emotional when she faced Rebecca, confiding she would have been crushed if any serious injury had befallen Lady Lily.
Rebecca felt decidedly uncomfortable with the accolades and something of a fraud. She would like to believe that she would have done the same for any other child, any other person actually, who was in similar dire straits, but she was honestly uncertain.
Lily was her daughter. Flesh of her flesh. Rebecca knew she would have given her own life to save her little girl. Would she have acted so bravely, so decisively if it was someone else who had fallen through the ice?
Rebecca sighed. Perhaps she should not have stayed in her room this evening, taking dinner on a tray, in an effort to avoid the servants and houseguests who had bombarded her with attention and praise. Perhaps it would have been better to face them again, so the furor and novelty of the situation would wear off.
She plumped the cushion behind her and settled back. Closing her eyes, Rebecca tried to relax, tried to let her mind drift away from the events of the day. It worked for a time and she gradually felt the languid peace of sleep starting to overcome her weary limbs.
She was about to ring for her maid when she heard a soft knock. Then the door opened.
“Perfect timing, Maureen. I am all done in and ready for bed.”
Rebecca glanced up. It was not her diminutive maid who stood in the doorway. It was the earl.
“I‘m sorry to disturb you,” Cameron said. “I just wanted to make sure you were feeling all right.”
“I‘m fine,” she replied, scooting upright in her chair. Self-conscious, Rebecca folded her legs under her skirt. She had kicked off her shoes and removed her stockings earlier and for some reason it felt strangely intimate to greet Lord Hampton with bare feet.
“We missed you at dinner,” he said.
“I was tired and frankly feeling overwhelmed by all the attention,” she explained.
He smiled. “A far different reaction from Lily. She was basking in the spotlight, telling and retelling the tale over and over.”
“‘Tis good to hear she is suffering no lasting effects from the trauma.”
His lips tightened fractionally. “She seems to have fared well after her tumble through the ice, but I fear she might have a stomachache from all the treats everyone was plying her with tonight.”
“Ah, so you have relented on your punishment to deny her dessert?”
“I find myself too relieved at her survival to deny her anything.” His handsome face flashed an almost guilty expression of misgiving. “Is that so very wrong?”
She shook her head no, opened her mouth to explain, but then a noise distracted her. Rebecca peered around the earl and saw her maid hovering in the doorway.
“Shall I come back, Miss Rebecca?”
“No, thank you, Maureen,” she answered. “You may take yourself off to bed. I will not need you any further tonight.”
The maid‘s brow lifted in confusion. She glanced at the earl, then back at Rebecca. Dipping a hasty curtsy she withdrew, shutting the door firmly behind her.
“I should not be here,” Cameron said, voicing what they were both thinking.
“I know.”
Rebecca glanced down at the rug. It was highly improper for him to be alone with her, in her bedchamber of all places. Yet he made no move to leave and she said nothing to prompt his departure.
“You seem melancholy tonight,” he said.
“Perhaps a bit,” she acknowledged. “Spending too much time in my own company afforded me a great deal of time to think, to reflect on the past.”
“And that has made you sad?”
She shrugged. “Thinking about what might have been is always dangerous, is it not?”
He moved closer. “Do you ever regret it? What happened between you and Philip?”
“No! Never!” She looked him straight in the eye, needing very much for him to understand. “I am not sorry that I had a physical relationship with Philip. I loved him without reservation and it was something we both wanted.”
“But the consequences…” the earl‘s voice trailed off and Rebecca dipped her chin.
“It was devastating when I first found myself in such a predicament. Alone and pregnant, my fiancé dead. My parents took the news well, all things considered. Or at least I thought so at the time.” She toyed with a length of green satin ribbon on the skirt of her gown, pleating it into neat folds. “Yet even with all that happened after, all the pain and heartache, I was never sorry there was a child. I could never regret Lily. She is a wonderful little girl, a gift from God.”
A brief emotion shifted across his face. “She is a precious child.”
“That is what I have always believed, even when others would refute it.” A sudden pain settled in Rebecca‘s chest, squeezing tightly. “It annoyed Great-Aunt Mildred to no end that I was not deeply sorrowful and repentant for my disgraceful, dishonorable actions. I had broken the rules, you see, challenged society itself with my careless, wanton behavior yet I showed no extreme signs of remorse.
“I think perhaps that was why Aunt Mildred did what she did with the baby. Why she took Lily from me, claiming the infant had died. She wanted to punish me.”
An anguished sorrow flickered in his eyes. “If that was her intention, then I would say she was successful.”
“Initially.” A shiver rose beneath her skin and Rebecca pulled the cashmere blanket from her lap and wrapped it around her shoulders. “But Aunt Mildred also protected my baby. She could have done anything with the infant. No one would have known, no one would have stopped her. Yet instead she found a fine, loving couple to take the child and raise her in wealth and privilege. Lily is safe. And for that reason alone, I cannot hate my aunt.”
“And your parents? What of their part in all of this mess?”
A pang of regret struck Rebecca. “I believe they were bullied mercilessly by my aunt. She was a fierce, determined woman and no match for their gentle temperaments. Having succumbed to Aunt Mildred‘s dictates in the beginning, I‘m sure they thought no good could come from revealing the truth to me after it was over.”
He laid his hand on her shoulder. “You are an extraordinary woman, Rebecca.”
“No, not really.” She tilted her chin, puzzled by the obvious admiration in his eyes. “If others knew about Lily, they would shun me.”
He moved his head in a sympathetic gesture. “Society is harsh and unforgiving.”
“Most people are quick to accuse, quick to censure. But not you, Cameron. Why?”
He paused before answering. “‘Tis not my right to judge another so harshly, especially the woman who has given birth to Lily, the woman who has given me the very best part of my life.”
“What a strange pair we are, my lord.” A wry laugh faltered on Rebecca‘s lips. “I fe
el a closeness to you because you know my dreadful secret. You know about my child, the true circumstances of her birth and you do not condemn me. Or else you are simply too much of a gentleman to say.”
His eyes grew soft with kindness. “I know you loved Lily‘s father very deeply.”
“I did. I do.” She drew a slow breath. “But he is gone and sometimes…sometimes I am angry and resentful that he left me behind. Which is monstrously foolish, since Philip hardly chose his fate.”
A shadow of pain passed through Cameron‘s eyes. “I felt very much the same when Christina died. Her illness was long and difficult and a part of me always believed if she had fought harder, she would have survived.”
“But they did not and we are here.” Rebecca winced. She sounded so pitiful, yet she felt unable to hold back the tide of her words. “I am so weary of being isolated, alone. Sometimes it feels like an ache, an almost crushing pain deep in my chest. An ache that expands outward, that at times feels as though it were encompassing my entire being.”
She hung her head, hardly believing what she had just divulged. Rebecca had never dared to say the words out loud, had barely acknowledged the feelings existed to herself. But they were true. She was lonely.
Yet even more astonishing was the realization that Cameron was probably the only person to whom she could expose her pain and hear no false pity in his voice, no quip about how it would quickly pass and she would once again be happy and carefree.
“I know the feeling of loneliness too well myself,” he said in a quiet tone. “Perhaps there is a way we can ease each other‘s pain?”
“Perhaps.”
“Shall we find out?”
Her heart began to thump with an erratic rhythm. She knew what he was asking. “I believe that would be ill-advised and foolish.”
He nodded in agreement. “Lacking all sense.”
She stood. The blanket fell from her shoulders onto the chair. She ignored it. Took a step closer. Sense be damned. Logic be damned. She wanted to feel his arms around her, wanted the heat of his body pressed against hers, wanted the strength of his maleness buried deep inside her. She wanted the burden of loneliness she carried so strongly and fought so desperately to hold at bay to be banished from her heart.
Cameron smoothed his thumb over her cheek and Rebecca tried to swallow the lump in her throat. She drew another deep breath. He gazed steadily at her. Her heart stirred, her pulse continued its erratic beat. Rebecca shut her eyes and mustered the remains of her courage.
“I would like very much to feel the press of a man‘s body against mine again,” she confessed, pulling the words from the depths of her heart, from the very essence of her soul.
“Would you like that body to be mine?” he asked, his voice as low as her own.
“Yes.”
Rebecca opened her eyes and gazed at him. He moved closer. Her heart clamored in her breast as she waited for him to take her in his arms, to hold her and kiss her and caress her. But instead he lifted his hand and set his palm against her cheek. The warmth and strength of his flesh seared her to her very soul. She leaned into his hand and closed her eyes again.
“I would like that too,” he whispered.
“I hope that I have not offended you with my wanton thoughts, my base desires,” she replied softly.
He circled her waist and drew her hard against him. “Offend me? Hardly. I am humbled by your honesty, flattered that you would choose me.”
“That we would choose each other,” she corrected.
Cameron released the pins of her hair and the shining mass of honey-colored tresses tumbled down Rebecca‘s shoulders to the center of her back. He gathered it in his hands, running the silky strands through his fingers before lifting a curl to his lips.
Rebecca shuddered, a quiver of anticipation racing through her. Cameron leaned forward. His lips traveled a path to her throat. He nuzzled her ear, then caught the tender lobe between his teeth, nipping playfully. Surprise and pleasure rippled down her spine.
“I am not very experienced,” Rebecca whispered, hoping he would not judge and find her lacking.
“I, too, am rather rusty.” He fanned his breath along a particularly sensitive spot on the nape of her neck. “There has been no woman in my bed for many years. Not since my wife died.”
Rebecca was shocked at the admission. Yet it was somehow reassuring to know he did not hop from bed to bed, from woman to woman, something he could so easily accomplish given his looks and position.
“I thought most noblemen kept mistresses.”
“Not this one.”
“Oh.”
She turned to look at him. The pools of his eyes had darkened with passion, his smoldering, sensual stare making her tremble and ache.
“You are a very beautiful woman, Rebecca.” He skimmed her bottom lip with his fingertip in a slow, sensual caress. “I would very much like to kiss you.”
“Only kiss me, my lord?”
His breath hitched and he smiled wickedly. Oh, dear. He was mesmerizing. Captivating. His sensual male essence surrounded her, making coherent thought impossible. She swallowed and inched her head forward. Just a fraction. Enough to let him know it was precisely what she wanted too.
A kiss.
There was another flash of a wicked smile and he fulfilled her wish. He kissed her.
Rebecca‘s eyelids fluttered closed. His lips were warm and firm as he pressed them against hers. Eagerly she opened her mouth to let his tongue slip inside. It circled hers slowly, then stroked the tip before moving to caress the edge of her lips.
It was heavenly. She clutched his lapels, groaning into the kiss, deepening it. Their tongues dueled, caressed, teased. Again and again. Restlessly, she moved her hands to his shoulders, then down to his upper arms. She squeezed tightly, fascinated by the power she felt in his firm, hard muscles, excited by the difference in their bodies.
He was a large man, solid, firm, yet beneath his strength there was gentleness and caring. She was confident he would be a generous lover, would take care to give her pleasure even as he achieved his own.
They continued kissing. The sensual delight he gave her was an intense escape, a magical invitation she was eager to accept. Rebecca felt his fingers at her back and soon realized he was unhooking her gown. Her mind seized and she suddenly panicked. There were candles lit everywhere in the room. It was nearly bright as day.
“Shouldn‘t we extinguish the candles first?” she asked weakly.
“No.”
Dear Lord. Her stomach fluttered. To be exposed so completely was a frightening notion. Would he be pleased by what he found? Excited? Would he find her pretty, desirable?
“I need to see you,” he declared in a rough voice.
The sound intensified Rebecca‘s nerves, but he moved so fast she had no time to protest. Her bodice was opened, the silk ribbons of her chemise untied and then lowered. She felt a chill of cool air on her nipples and then a sensual warmth as his hands curved around them. His fingers molded her breasts, stroking the nipples until they hardened and peaked.
“They are magnificent. You are magnificent.” His voice shook.
Rebecca turned her head away, then caught a glimpse of his hands so possessively on her skin. They looked dark against the paleness of her flesh. Dark and rough and undeniably male.
“Oh, my.” She shivered.
He stilled, yet his hands remained cradling her breasts. “Are you certain you want me to stay?”
A rush of feminine power filled her. A sense of control. A control that was quickly fading for both of them. “Make love to me, Cameron.”
To emphasize the request, Rebecca grabbed the material bunched at her waist and deliberately pushed it off her hips. Her gown and chemise fell to the floor. She stepped out of the garments. Neatly kicking them aside, Rebecca boldly moved into the glare of the candlelight, standing naked before him.
“Christ!”
A muscle in his jaw flexed. She noticed a sm
all bead of sweat break out on his brow. Then with a growl of predatory excitement, Cameron lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bed.
After setting her in the middle of the mattress, he tore off his jacket, removed his waistcoat, yanked off his cravat. The garments sailed to the floor in rapid succession. Rebecca found herself smiling as he pulled his shirt over his head, but her amusement was quickly distracted by the sight of his bare chest.
Broad shoulders showcased a sculptured and muscular chest. There was a mat of crisp, dark hair swirling in the center that trailed across his abdomen and narrowed provocatively downward until it disappeared into the waistband of his trousers.
The sight held her in rapt fascination. She almost reached out to touch one of the flat, dark nipples that so intrigued her, but held back. Raising her eyes, she met his. A frisson of embarrassment shivered through her at being caught staring so boldly, but he seemed pleased at her interest.
Without taking his eyes from hers, Cameron began to unfasten his trousers. Rebecca gasped when she saw his rigid penis exposed. It was so swollen. So large.
He preened under her gaze, thrusting his hips forward to emphasize his size. The carnal sight filled her with heat, making the sensitive flesh between her legs grow moist with anticipation.
The mattress dipped as he put his knee onto the bed. He reached for her with both hands and Rebecca practically rolled into his arms. His fingers caressed her shoulders, then smoothed down her arms, crossed over her belly, and finally delved into the sweet curls below.
Rebecca averted her eyes, not knowing where to look. An insistent throbbing began to pulse between her legs. She felt slick and swollen and very aroused. Cameron cupped her hips and shifted her so that she was at the edge of the bed. Then he lowered his head.
At first all she felt was the gentle warmth of his breath. It made her jump with tension.
“Shh, relax,” he murmured. “It will feel wonderful. Trust me.”
Rebecca trembled. She shouldn‘t let him. It was too personal, too intimate. She tried to find the words to explain, but then he parted her tenderly, slowly and gently stroked her clitoris with the tip of his tongue.
The Christmas Countess Page 24
