“Naturally the highlight for me was seeing Lily so poised and confident on stage,” Cameron said. “But the very best thing about this evening‘s play was that it was short.”
She laughed, as he predicted, and his confidence soared. He did know her, understand her…well as much as any man could claim to know the mysterious workings of a woman‘s mind. Pray he would be able to convince her that she could be happy, that they both could be happy, if she agreed to marry him.
An hour later the earl and his guests were the first group to leave the party, needing five carriages to convey everyone back to Windmere. Lily‘s excited chatter gradually trickled to a few comments and then ceased altogether as she slumped, exhausted, in the corner of the coach. Within minutes she curled up on her seat and was soon asleep, despite the jolting of the carriage and the chill inside.
When they reached home, Cameron lifted the little girl into his arms and carried her inside. She woke up when they entered the manor and insisted on walking.
“Do not forget to make your Christmas Eve wish before you go to sleep,” Cameron said as hand in hand they started climbing the long staircase.
“I did make my wish,” Lily complained. “Many times and it did not happen.”
“Christmas has yet to come, Lily,” he reminded her gently. “You may still get what you desire.”
“I wanted to sleep in the stables tonight,” she declared. “But Mrs. James said I could not and Grandmother said I could not and Aunt Charlotte said I could not and you said I could not. They said because I fell through the ice I am not strong enough to stay outside and I would catch cold if I slept in the stable all night. But I am strong, Papa. Truly.”
Cameron sighed as he looked down into Lily‘s pleading eyes and almost relented. What could it really hurt? Yet Cameron knew he had to bow to the superior judgment of the females of his household. He could not risk Lily‘s health on a whim.
“I think the last thing you would want is to be sick for Christmas,” he said.
Lily looked crestfallen at his proclamation, but accepted the decree with far more grace than usual. Cameron released a small sigh of relief at the change in her, knowing what a sullen little girl she could be when she did not get her way. This attitude was a vast improvement and he acknowledged that Rebecca was largely responsible for the difference.
Still, he could not help but feel sympathy for his child. It was his role, and great pleasure, to spoil and indulge her whenever he had the chance. When they reached the landing, he made a sudden decision, veered from the staircase and turned toward the manor‘s formal rooms.
“Where are we going, Papa?”
“‘Tis a surprise.”
He signaled for one of the footmen, whispered an order, then proceeded to slowly walk toward the drawing room. Coming more fully awake, Lily tugged on his hand, trying to go faster. When they reached their destination, a nod from the footman assured the earl his orders had been carried out.
At his signal, the servant swung open the drawing room doors. Lily‘s gasp of surprise and delight shot straight to Cameron‘s heart. She ran ahead, turned, then ran back to him.
“Oh, Papa, it is a fairyland!”
At his instructions, the candles on the evergreen tree had been lit. The tree literally sparkled, the glow from the many flickering candles reflected in the satin bows and shiny ornaments placed on the branches. Lily squeezed his hand, her eyes bright with excitement and delight as she beheld all the wonder of Christmas.
It was a special, tender moment. But then Cameron felt a restlessness, an emptiness, a sense that something was not completely right, that something very important, essential, was missing to complete the experience, to fulfill the moment.
Rebecca .
Cameron‘s heart swelled with emotion. In the beginning he hadn‘t even realized what he felt so strongly toward her was indeed love because it was so different from what he had known with his first wife. He hadn‘t seen it for what it was because he was guarding his heart, because he was shutting her out of his mind.
Thank God, she had wormed her way inside. With Rebecca it was not a sweet, uncomplicated love. Theirs was not an easy, simple relationship. It was messy and unconventional and Cameron admitted he would not have it any other way.
The nagging ache in his chest was gone, banished by the love he felt for her. This love, this passion, this devotion he felt so deeply for her was something of a miracle, really. All he needed to make his happiness complete was to convince Rebecca to be his wife. With planning, and a bit of luck, it would be done before Christmas morning.
A loud yawn from Lily brought Cameron‘s thoughts back to the present. Though she insisted she was not in the least tired, Cameron guided the little girl from the drawing room. She ceased her protests only after he assured Lily they would light the candles on the tree again tomorrow, promising she could stay and gaze at them for as long as she wanted.
He waited while one of the maids got Lily ready for bed. Then he tucked her in, kissed her cheek and wished her happy dreams.
Resolved to have greater success in securing the fulfillment of his Christmas Eve wish than Lily, the earl left the nursery. With a determined expression on his face and an equally determined attitude, Cameron went in search of Rebecca.
———
At the insistence of her brother and Lady Charlotte, Rebecca had ridden in their carriage on the way back from the vicarage. It did her heart good to see the young couple so happy and clearly in love. Though it brought to mind the tangled mess of her own romantic situation, Rebecca had managed to put a stop to those runaway thoughts. It was Christmas Eve. Only pleasant thoughts were to be allowed.
Once returned to the manor, Rebecca went directly to the kitchen. Carefully, she approached the basket set before the fire, trying not to make any loud noises. Leaning over, she peered in, surprised to see a large ball of fur curled in the center of the white blanket she had placed inside earlier this evening.
With a start, Rebecca realized the large ball of fur was Horace, Cook‘s cat. But where was the kitten? Worried the older animal had chased the youngster away and taken the cozy bed for himself, Rebecca leaned in for a closer inspection.
“Is anything wrong?”
Startled, Rebecca turned and saw the earl. “I was checking on the kitten.”
“Is everything all right?”
Rebecca squinted into the basket, then breathed a sigh of relief when she saw a small ball of gray fur contentedly cuddled against the large cat. “Yes, the kitten appears none the worse for wear.”
“Ah, so you are hiding it in the kitchen tonight. Very clever. Is it in the basket?”
“Yes, apparently Horace has taken a liking to it.”
“Better Horace than Apollo,” the earl quipped.
He came near the fire and they both gazed down at the basket. Horace had a decidedly maternal look in his eyes, as he watched them both warily, seeming ready to pounce if they acted in a manner he thought inappropriate or threatening.
Rebecca was pleased to see the older cat‘s protective instinct toward the kitten who slumbered so peacefully. She was glad too, to discover the little creature was not frightened or lonely or missing her mother or brothers and sisters.
“Has Lily gone to bed?” Rebecca asked.
“Yes, just now. She was fighting sleep, but too exhausted to give it much of a battle.” Cameron made a move to pet the kitten. Horace swatted a paw as the masculine fingers drew near. The earl wisely retreated, returning his hand to his pocket. “It wasn‘t easy getting Lily to the nursery. She kept insisting that she wanted to sleep in the stable tonight.”
“Wherever did she get such a foolish notion?”
“Apparently your brother told her on the night of Christ‘s birth a miracle may occur in which all the animals housed in a stable can speak. Naturally, Lily wanted to be there to witness such a magical event.”
Rebecca started laughing. “I remember Daniel would say that every year
when we were children. He badgered my parents mercilessly for years, claiming he had to see it for himself, even though they repeatedly told him it was untrue. Finally they relented one year and allowed him to camp out with Papa‘s horse and our milk cow. Daniel caught a dreadful cold in that drafty barn and had to remain in bed all of Christmas Day.”
Cameron‘s pensive expression vanished. “Thank you for telling me that story. It eases my guilt for denying Lily what she repeatedly told me was her very fondest wish.”
Rebecca was torn between exasperation and amusement. She could just imagine the wheedling and pleading Lily had put Cameron through. Though he tried, ‘twas obvious the earl still had difficulty saying no to Lily. Yet in the end, he had held fast to his position. That was progress, of a sort.
“She will forget all about it by morning,” Rebecca predicted.
“I doubt that very much,” Cameron retorted. “On my way down here I saw the carolers gathering in the front parlor. Will you be joining them?”
“I have not decided.”
“Excellent. Now I have a chance to persuade you to stay with me instead.” Cameron smiled.
Rebecca felt the blood rush to her face. His smoldering eyes put all sorts of erotic images into her head. It was most embarrassing.
“It seems rather rude not to go with the carolers,” she said faintly, trying to block the sensual scenes from her mind. “And I do like to sing.”
“Cranborne has convinced Marion to go to the vicarage first. Vicar and Mrs. Hargrave are good, tolerant, Christian people. They shall be far more forgiving than some of our other neighbors if Marion reneges on her promise and decides to sing. There are, unfortunately, no guarantees as to what will happen once they continue on to the next house.”
A sense of mischief sliced through Rebecca. “Careful, my lord, you are unwittingly tempting me with the promise of danger and excitement. It sounds as if this will be a most adventuresome evening.”
“I have something I believe you will find far more delightful.” He lifted her hand, then kissed it. She nearly jumped at the feel of his soft lips caressing her skin. “Join me on a sleigh ride, Rebecca,” he whispered in a silky, seductive voice. “In the moonlight.”
Not trusting her voice, Rebecca nodded. In a daze, she allowed herself to be led from the kitchen. They stopped in the foyer to put on their coats, then proceeded to the stables.
Rebecca could not contain her gasp of delight as she climbed into the sleigh. There were warm bricks for their feet and heavy lap blankets to keep away the chill. Cameron settled himself beside her in the driver‘s seat, then with an expert flick of the reins, the vehicle lurched forward.
They were off!
Moonlight guided them across the open pasture. All around them was silence except for the sound of the jingling bells the groom had placed on the horse‘s harness and the whoosh of the sleigh‘s blades as it glided over the snow.
Rebecca let out a contented sigh and slipped her gloved hands beneath the blanket. They crested a small hill. Cameron guided the sleigh to the edge of the woods and stopped. She rolled her shoulders and sat straighter, breathing in the cool, crisp air. It was a tranquil moment, filled with peace and contentment.
“Seeing the kitten earlier reminded me of something rather important,” Cameron said. “I have not selected my Christmas gift for Lily.”
Rebecca smiled, certain he must be jesting. “You had best hurry. There is not much time left until Christmas morning.”
An intense expression flickered in the depths of his eyes. “Actually, my choice depends very much on you.”
“Me? I‘m uncertain how I can assist you at this late hour,” Rebecca exclaimed. “Surely all the shops are closed.”
“What I desire does not come from a shop, Rebecca.”
“Oh?” Her heart began to thump as she met his penetrating gaze.
“I would like to give Lily what she truly wants, what she truly needs.” He paused, lowering the tone and volume of his voice. “A mother.”
Rebecca‘s heart clenched at the word. Such a basic, important role. A mother.
“Yet I find that I am a selfish man,” Cameron continued. “In order for Lily to have a mother, I must have a wife. And I am very particular when it comes to that decision.”
He reached beneath the blanket, squeezed her gloved hand briefly, then released it. He looked down and she noticed his brow furrow. Then he muttered something under his breath. Straining forward, Rebecca thought she heard him say, damn it all to hell.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
The earl lifted his head and grinned sheepishly. “I fear my lack of planning is quite glaring at this moment.”
“Regarding Lily‘s gift? I should say so, Cameron. Christmas will arrive in a few short hours.”
He laughed, the deep timber of his voice echoing through the quiet stillness of the night. Amazingly, the sound brought the final clarity to Rebecca‘s heart, reaffirming her emotions, the depth of her feelings.
She felt a single tear escape from her eye and trickle down her cheek. She had suspected it for some time, had tried to understand what she thought was impossible, had tried to explain it, confirm it, but not until this moment did she know it was real.
She was in love with Cameron.
It had come on gradually, as she had begun to know him, begun to understand what made him so special, unique. From the first she had told herself she must not open her heart to him, but in the end her emotions and not her common sense had ruled.
She sat quietly, digesting the truth of her discovery, testing it in her mind, seeing it for what it was and knew it to be true. She loved him.
Rebecca turned her head to look at him and felt a blaze of emotion sear her chest. The words trembled on her lips, aching to burst forth, but he seemed so intent, so distracted by his own thoughts she waited to speak.
He lifted her hand and pressed it against his chest. Even through the layers of clothing she could feel the steady beat of his heart. He placed his other hand beneath her chin and tilted her face toward his.
“I will always cherish my time with Christina, but that part of my life is very firmly placed in the past. It has taken me far too long to realize what I want, but I know I am ready, eager to move forward. And I want you to be with me.”
“I want that too.” Rebecca sniffed. “I also have been confused. What I feel for you is so different from what I experienced with Philip. But I have come to understand these emotions are even more real, more intense, more wonderful.”
“I love you, Rebecca.”
“Cameron, I love you.”
She felt her nose start to run. Good Lord! Horrified that she must look like a wreck at the exact moment she wanted to appear pretty and desirable, Rebecca lowered her chin. But the earl would have none of it.
He pulled a fluffy white handkerchief from his pocket and wiped her nose as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Then he leaned forward and quickly brushed his lips across hers.
“Now we come to the awkward part,” he said. “I bungled it so badly before, that this time I wanted everything to be perfect.”
“What needs to be perfect?”
“My proposal. I wanted to get down on one knee when I asked you, but the sleigh is too narrow.”
Rebecca‘s heart began to thump. “And the ground is too far away. Plus it is cold and wet and covered in snow.”
“I know. Dreadful planning on my part. I do apologize, my dear.”
Oh, for pity sake! Rebecca nearly screamed out loud, but instead took a deep breath. Her darling, proper, intelligent earl really could be a bit of an ass at times.
“I shall close my eyes and imagine you on one knee.” She shut her eyes. In the silence, in the darkness, the world around her narrowed down to this precise moment in time. A moment that took on a dreamy, romantic, almost otherworldly quality. “There. Now, please ask me.”
She heard a rustle of fabric and was tempted to open her eye
s, yet secretly feared what she might find. So instead she waited, breath held, emotions on edge.
“I love and admire and cherish you. I want only your happiness, for I know in my heart it will bring me mine. My dear, sweet, darling Rebecca, would you do me the great honor, nay the privilege, of becoming my wife?”
Her eyes flew open. Her lips trembled. She tried to answer him, but found her voice stolen from her. How odd that she had lost the ability to speak! Cameron was staring at her. He was unsmiling, looking more serious and intense than she had ever seen him.
Her voice might be gone, but her mind was swiftly moving. With a most unladylike, improper gesture, Rebecca threw herself into his arms, clinging to him in an unseemly manner. He enfolded her in his strong arms for a moment, then pushed her away.
“Can I take that to mean you are saying yes?”
“Of course it means yes.”
“Given your answer the last time I asked, you cannot blame me for wanting to be absolutely certain.”
“Oh, Cameron.”
Before she could say anything else, he scooped her off her seat and placed her in his lap. She stretched her arms around his neck, then kissed him for all she was worth. The pressure of his warm lips stole her breath and within moments the first kiss led to a second and then a third.
He loved her! Truly. Just as she loved him.
Was it real? Was it happening? She couldn‘t recall a moment when she had been happier, more excited about the possibilities. Finally they drew apart and their eyes met. Rebecca trembled at the warm, possessive look in his eyes, still struggling to take it all in.
“I can‘t wait to tell Lily,” he said.
Rebecca felt her expression soften. “Do you think she will be happy?”
“I know she will be thrilled,” he said confidently.
“What about the rest, Cameron? Shall we ever tell her the whole truth?”
He frowned a little. “Perhaps in time. When she is older and can properly understand it.”
For the first time the oppressive burden of her past, the secret of Lily‘s parentage, that had been lying so heavily on Rebecca‘s heart, eased. With Cameron‘s love and support it was not quite so heavy a burden. It was tolerable, manageable.
The Christmas Countess Page 29
