by Alice Ward
It was that same little voice that pushed me into finally raising the phone to my ear.
“Andrea?” Sean said, voice raspy and broken.
“Hi, Sean.” I did my best to sound warm and forgiving. Still mad or not, the sooner I could put things back on track with us, the sooner I could move past this infatuation with Jace.
“Oh, thank God.” He breathed heavily into the phone. “I—I thought I’d lost you forever. You weren’t answering and—I—I’m so, so fucking sorry. I don’t know what got into me. I just—I lost it. Please, you have to know that.”
“I know, Sean,” I said, softly. And I truly, truly did. He’d never meant to hurt me. And he certainly wasn’t the guy to go all cave man; we never would have lasted as long as we had if that’d been the case. But it didn’t mean I was letting him off the hook completely. “But what in the world possessed you to come here in the first place?”
“I don’t know. I was just so damn worried, and scared. I just wanted to protect you.” Silence hung thick on both sides of the line for a minute before he continued. “I didn’t mean anything I said. You know I support you, I want to see you follow your passions. I was just so… scared.”
I released a heavy sigh. I wasn’t ready to fully forgive him just yet, but it was a start. “I understand,” I said, slipping into the tub, careful not to drop my phone into the water.
“So… we’re okay?” he asked, his voice hopeful.
I could feel the corners of my mouth lifting in a small smile as the water caressed my skin, washing away the worries and the doubt. “It will be.”
Sean gave a sigh of relief in my ear and the smile on my face grew with it. We really were going to be okay. I was certain of it.
“What are you doing now?” he asked, our conversation picking up as if we’d never even fought.
I splashed water in the tub and said, “Taking a hot bath.”
Again, silence filled the air, but this one wasn’t filled with worry or dread; it was filled with want and need. So much I swore I could feel it bleeding through the phone and down into the water, warming my skin and forcing my heart to quicken.
“Want to?” I asked, knowing that, after everything we’d just been through, he wouldn’t initiate it. Not this time. Not yet.
“Want to…?” he asked, as if he needed clarification. In reality, he was just making certain we were on the same page.
“Mmmhmmm”
“Are you sure?”
I chuckled at his hesitance. “Would you just phone fuck me already?”
He cleared his throat. I could hear clothing shuffling in the background. Just knowing he was getting ready for me had the area between my legs pulsating, aching with need.
I couldn’t wait.
As he continued to ready himself, I snaked my free hand across my abdomen and down between my thighs. My breath hitched the second my fingers made contact with the swollen flesh of my sex. With painfully slow but precise strokes, I worked the hard nub of my clit as the last few crackles came through the phone receiver.
“Oh, Andy,” he moaned. And I knew he’d started.
In my head, I envisioned the scene I’d committed to memory years ago—him stroking his length, eyes trained on me, the love and desire in his gaze so strong, I thought I might explode. It was something we’d practiced in the months before I started college. Laying feet to head on our bed, we watched one another as each of us brought ourselves to self-pleasure. It had done wonders for the long-distance visual during our many phone sex conversations over the years.
“What are you doing, baby?” he asked, voice husky and all-too knowing.
“I’m touching myself… rubbing my clit,” I said between light pants.
“Hmm-mm.”
A little confused, my hand ceased movement. “No?”
“No, baby. I’m touching your clit.”
My fingers immediately returned to working the bundle of fiery nerves. “Tell me more,” I begged with hitched breath.
“Mmmmm…I can taste you, baby,” he whispered seductively into the phone. “Can you feel my mouth on you, my tongue caressing you, licking every inch of you?”
I imagined his head between my legs, the softness and warmth of his mouth, his tongue expertly lapping away where my frantic fingers worked.
“Oh, yes,” I panted, my face already hot and beaded with sweat.
He growled into my ear. “That’s it. Keep going. I’m going to fuck you. Hard.”
“Oh, Sean.” My movements became jerky, frantic, as I moved closer and closer to my climax.
“That’s it, Andy. Yeah, baby. I’m inside you now. Can you feel it?”
“Yeah,” I whispered into the phone, shoving my fingers deep inside the wetness. My muscles instantly clenched around my fingers. My body begged for more, and more is what I gave it: deeper, faster thrusts that forced whimpers from me.
Sean began panting in my ear. “That’s right, baby. I own you.”
Something snapped when he uttered those words, words I’d never heard from Sean before.
In my head, Jace’s hands began exploring the deepest, darkest parts of me. His hot breath was against my neck, sending shivers of pleasure up my spine. His teeth were biting at my tender flesh, marking me for all eternity. His tattooed arms were braced over me as he pounded into me, his abs flexing with each thrust as he owned every inch of me, fulfilled my every desire.
My moans became frantic, hungry, and needy. The fire burning inside me demanded to be quenched. It seared me, all the way into my throat and all the way down to my toes. My fingers began to move with a ferocity and quickness they’d never possessed.
Grunts and groans from the other end of the line came heavier and quicker, but I didn’t register them as Sean’s as my moans and whimpers morphed into full out screams. My entire body stiffened, finding release that was both blissful and blinding, all at once. It felt as though I were having the most erotic out-of-body experience.
A roar came through the phone and the peak of my orgasm soared higher, sending my body into quaking convulsions. Our shared ecstasy transported us to a world where only the two of us existed. Time and space were irrelevant as we floated away into beautiful oblivion.
But there was just one little problem.
The man of my desire and the man pleasing himself on the other end of the line were two completely different people. And as my body floated back to earth, back into the water, guilt settled in and burned a hole in my aching heart. What had I just done?
Dear God, what is wrong with me?
CHAPTER TEN
No sooner than I’d hung up with Sean, I threw my clothes on, tossed my hair up in a ponytail and set out for the pub where Becca worked. If there was anyone that knew what to do in a time such as this, it would be her… at least, I hoped that would be the case.
After making my way through a crowd of rowdy college boys hanging out by the door, I maneuvered through the tables and chairs up to the bar. Becca looked about dead on her feet, but as always, she had a grin plastered on her face as she served yet another party-hard-study-little young twenties group of guys and girls.
Thankfully, it was only Wednesday, so the crowd wasn’t too bad. A group over by the dart board, a couple of girls at the juke box, a few tables full of jocks whooping over the game on the television, and a small group over by the pool tables were her only patrons. My chances of stealing Becca away were definitely good. Thank God for little miracles.
Shock registered on Becca’s face the second she caught sight of me. “Andy?”
“Hey, girl,” I said, taking a stool at the bar.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she asked, concern evident in her tight-lipped frown and creased forehead. “Everything okay?”
I bit at the inside of my cheek, unsure of how to respond to her question. I wasn’t in any danger. Sean was alive and well. My entire world hadn’t come crashing down… yet. But I still had this horrible sense of dread tugging at my ins
ides. Something was happening to me. Something I’d never thought possible.
“I fantasized about Jace,” I finally blurted out after deciding blunt and honest was probably the only way to go.
Becca threw her head back, her laughter ringing out above the noise of the bar. “Honey, join the crowd.”
I shook my head furiously. “No, you don’t understand,” I said. “I—I fantasized about him while I was with Sean.”
Becca blinked a few times, confusion painting her scrunched features. “Wait? He’s still here?”
“No, no,” I said, shaking my head. “Over the phone.”
Shoulders lifting, head tilting to the side, Becca narrowed her eyes at me. “Okay… and this is a problem because…?”
I let out a heavy sigh. “Can I have some water, please?”
Becca filled a glass and then slid it across the bar to me. I lifted it to my lips and took a drink. The cold liquid burned on the way down. My eyes watered and my lips puckered as I slammed the glass back down on the bar.
“What the hell did you just give me?” I asked, the fire straining my voice.
“Vodka,” she said with a shrug.
I narrowed my eyes at her, my lips bunched in a tight scowl.
“What?” she asked, eyes wide as she lifted her hands, palms facing upward. “You need it. Loosen up some, chick. It’s not like you actually cheated on Sean. It was phone sex, for Christ’s sake.”
“I know… but still…“
“But nothing. You think you’re the first girl to fantasize about Jace Richardson while having phone sex with her significant other?” she asked. “Trust me, you’re far from it. The man is sex with legs. He’s the one man every girl wants but none of us can have.”
Now it was my turn to be confused.
“What do you mean, none of us can have? Like, he doesn’t sleep around?”
Becca gave a quick shrug, filled another drink and pushed it toward me. “Not that I’ve ever heard. And you know how rumors are on campus. Sure, a few girls have said they were with him, but none of them seem his type. They’re more the desperate ones. The rest of us, we just swoon, fantasize, rinse and repeat.”
“How is that possible?” I asked, still in a state of shock.
“I think he’s secretly gay,” Becca said, pouring her own drink and then lifting it to her lips.
I mouthed the word gay as if it were a dirty word.
“No, not really,” she laughed, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. “But it’s what I tell myself when I want to just throw myself at his feet and offer to suck his cock.”
My mouth fell open in complete disbelief at her brazen confession.
“Oh, come on. You were just fantasizing about it. You should know.” She gave me a wink. “Now, drink your drink already. I’m buying and I don’t waste booze.”
I took her advice and lifted the glass to my lips. If there were ever a night to abandon my light wine-drinking habits, that was the night.
***
Two hours later, I was hanging on the shoulder of some girl I didn’t know at the juke box. We were singing the words to a song I’m pretty sure I’d never heard before. Or maybe I had and just couldn’t remember. Honestly, I was pretty surprised I could remember my name at that point. Either way, we were laughing and giggling as we belted the lyrics at the top of our lungs, completely off-key.
“Alright, time to go home, Andy,” Becca said, stepping up behind me, linking her arm through mine and pulling me away from my new best friend.
I leaned into Becca as she led me to the door. “Aw, but I don’ wanna,” I slurred out, not really sure where she was taking me but also not really caring. The ground was swaying, and my only real concern was putting one foot in front of the other and not falling on my ass… and even that seemed pretty trivial at the moment.
“I know. I know,” she said, patting my arm. “But I gave you a little too much liquid courage, and now I have to figure out how to make sure you make it home safely. I still have to clean up.”
“My new friend can walk me.” I pointed back to the juke box where the girl I’d been singing with stood, or rather leaned against the wall. I could have been wrong, but it looked like she was puking into the nearby trash can.
“Oh honey, I don’t think she could find her way out of a paper bag right now,” Becca shoved a door open with her foot and then ushered me through it. “I’m going to have to find her a way home, too.”
“Pssshht.” Spit flew from my lips as I made the God-awful sound. For some reason, I found that quite humorous. The giggles made it really hard to tell Becca what I had to say next. “I can—I’ll be—I’m fine. I can get home.”
“I don’t know… maybe I should have you wait until I’m done and then we can walk home together.”
“Oooo… but won’t you get in trouble for that?” I asked.
Becca sighed. “Yeah. I will. I’m not supposed to have anyone inside when I’m counting the night drawer.”
“See? I’ll just take myself.” I forced myself to stand upright, or at least I think I did, and then threw my shoulders back a little. “I can walk. I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll walk her home,” a voice I would have recognized anywhere came from behind me. I widened my eyes as the sound sent my heart on a marathon—where it thought it was going, I’ll probably never know.
Oh, dear God. Not now. Of all times, not right now.
“Jace? Oh, thank God,” Becca gave a sigh of relief. “I had no idea what to do with her until I finished closing up. I can’t leave her out here, can’t have her inside, and as you can see, she’s in no shape to walk home by herself. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Nonsense,” I cried out. Even in my own head, my voice sounded horribly shrill and rather slurred. And completely ignored.
I could feel myself being passed from Becca’s soft arms into a set of muscular arms. I was enveloped in the slight hint of metal and citrus. I think I might have inhaled it as I tried to right myself and stand on my own. Unfortunately, I damn near sent myself out onto the sidewalk, and that sent me into another fit of giggles which only made it even more difficult to stand.
“Alright there, firecracker. I’ve got you,” Jace said, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and then pulling me into his firm body.
I wanted to fight a little more—if for no other reason than to stop the tingling sensation trying to take over my body from him being so close to me—but considering I’d almost ate concrete, I figured it was best to let him hold me up, at least for a little while.
“Here,” I heard Becca whisper. “Call me when you get her home safe?”
I didn’t hear Jace respond, but we started walking so I assumed he must have.
“You sure you can walk?” he asked, his arm wrapped around me, hand under my armpit for support. “I can carry you if you need me to.”
I belted out a rather obnoxious laugh. “Right, because I need good old Jace Richardson to go and rescue me again. I’m not helpless, you know.”
He chuckled lightly. I could feel the vibrations of it coursing through my body. God, he was just too close. How was I supposed to walk straight when being this close to him made my knees weak?
“I make your knees weak, huh?” he asked as he stopped my body from toppling into a nearby shrub.
Oh, shit. I’d said that out loud?
I decided to cover it up with some drunken sarcasm. “And nauseous.”
“You need to throw up?” he asked, stopping and bending his body sideways to get a look at me.
I narrowed my blue eyes at his chocolate ones… I think. “Just when I’m around you.”
He laughed again, only this one sounded like it’d come from deep down in his chest. “Wow, now there’s one I haven’t heard yet,” he said, directing us down the sidewalk again.
“Funny,” I quipped. “I’d think you would have. What, with you walking around all hero-like all the time.”
“Only with you, Andrea
. Only with you.” He almost sounded sad when he said it, only my hazy brain couldn’t begin to understand why.
“Why?” I asked.
“Why what?”
I rolled my head when I’d meant to roll my eyes. “Do you rescue me? It’s not like I need rescuing.”
“Well,” he said, shifting my arm up over his shoulder. “Maybe not in the traditional sense. But in the two instances I’ve done it, you have.”
“Only because you cloud my head with all your tattoos, sexy voice, and hard muscles.”
Where did that come from?
Jace cleared his throat. “You’re almost home, Andrea.”
“Home?”
“Yeah, your dorm.”
“I—I don’t think I can make it.” I really didn’t. The ground was starting to crack open beneath my feet, and my eyes felt like they weighed a ton. I wanted nothing more than to lay down on the cold concrete and sleep for the next ten years.
Before I could even protest—not that I would have right then—I was hoisted up off the ground. I felt the sensation of movement as the entire world spun and swayed, but I’d never felt safer than I did right in that moment, wrapped in tattoos, muscles and citrus.
“I thought about you,” I said, laying my head on his chest. “I know I shouldn’t. I didn’t mean to. But you were there with me.”
“Where?” he asked, whispering softly into my hair.
“In my bathtub.”
I thought I felt his arms stiffen around me, but I couldn’t be sure. I was too tired to ask. So I rested my cheek on his chest and let the sound of his beating heart lull me off to sleep.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I awoke the next morning to an earthquake… or so I initially thought. But when I opened my eyes in a panic, I found Becca, shaking me, my bed, anything that might stir me out of my alcohol-induced coma.
“Andy, you awake?” she asked, her made-up face just inches from mine.
I pulled my pillow over my eyes and groaned. “I am now. What is it?”
“Uh, you have psych in twenty minutes,” she said, trying to yank the pillow from my fingers.
