Lucas nodded solemnly. “Ever since you walked up to my car with that clipboard in your hand, I’ve had serious problems.”
So had she, Jenny thought miserably, and it looked like they were growing worse by the minute. “How so?”
“I took one look at you and knew I’d found that strong, beautiful woman I’d been searching for. I just hadn’t planned on you being a cop.”
Her tongue darted out to moisten her lips. “Well, I am a cop. And as far as I’m concerned we were nothing more than friends when we parted the other night. I can’t see that anything has changed since then.”
One corner of his mouth cocked upward. “We were more than friends the day you wrote me the traffic ticket.”
Her nostrils flared as his fingers slid slowly up her back. “You’re right, we were enemies.”
He chuckled softly, then suddenly his face went quietly serious as he leaned closer and pressed his cheek against hers.
“You know that I love you, Jenny.”
A strange mix of joy and fear dashed through Jenny like a stormy surf. Lucas loved her! It was wonderful and it was absolutely terrifying.
As her silence grew, Lucas pulled his head back to look at her. “Don’t you have anything to say?”
Hoping it would ease the pounding of her heart, Jenny drew in a deep breath. It didn’t help. “Lucas, you can’t love me! You—don’t even know me. You’ve just now kissed me!”
A grin spread across his face. “Well, it wasn’t for lack of wanting to, I can tell you that! But if more kissing will prove it, I’ll be glad to oblige.”
“Lucas-”
Before Jenny could say more, he was kissing her again. The slow, seductive search he made of her lips was completely mesmerizing. Heat pooled deep within her, and before Jenny realized it, her hands gripped his shoulders, urged him closer.
“You know, you’re right,” he eventually whispered against her lips. “Kissing does tell the tale. And it’s telling me I want to be kissing you even when this beautiful red hair of yours has turned silver, your face is wrinkled, and you have a little potbelly.”
He patted her tummy for emphasis, and tears began to well in Jenny’s eyes. With an anguished groan, she twisted out of his embrace and stood with her back to him.
“Maybe you feel like that now—” She looked down and covered her face with both hands.
Lucas could hear pain in her voice, but he didn’t know why it was there. He’d just told the woman he loved her, and he believed she felt the same way about him. So why was she acting like he’d just given her a death sentence?
Stepping closer, he cupped his hands around her shoulders. “Jenny, I know this probably seems sudden to you, but—”
“No! It seems impossible to me!”
His eyes lifted helplessly to the ceiling. “Are you trying to say you don’t love me? It didn’t feel that way a few moments ago when we were kissing.”
Shards of pain sliced through every part of Jenny. “I tried to tell you, Lucas—I tried to discourage you. I told you I didn’t want a man in my life. Now here you go telling me you love me and—”
He gently turned her to face him. “And you might as well get used to it. Because I’m not going to go away.”
Groaning, Jenny shook her head. “I’m a cop, Lucas. You’ve already told me you couldn’t deal with that.”
“This past week without you has shown me I can deal with anything to keep you in my life. You were a cop when I fell in love with you, and if you remain on the force, I’ll still love you just as much. You’ve got to believe I won’t be like your ex—”
At the mention of Marcus, Jenny’s eyes turned to twin pieces of granite. “You don’t know about him! You don’t know about me! If you did, you wouldn’t be saying any of this.”
Impatient, Lucas gave her shoulders a little shake. “What do you mean, Jenny? Were you and he partners in some sort of crime? Do you honestly think you could tell me anything that would change my feelings for you?”
Jenny suddenly felt as if her knees were going to buckle beneath her. Leaning heavily against Lucas, she whispered weakly, “I’ve got to sit down.”
Quickly, Lucas helped her to the couch, then took a seat on the cushion next to her.
“Do you want a drink of water?” He worriedly scanned her pale face. “Something else?”
Jenny shook her head, then swallowed. “No. I just—” She forced her eyes to meet his. “I never committed any sort of crime, Lucas. But there was a time in my life that I wanted to. There was a time I wanted to kill my husband!”
Lucas could see that she wasn’t just mouthing words, that she truly meant them, and suddenly everything fell into place. “He hurt you.”
Shame caused Jenny to look down. “Yes,” she said quietly. “Many times.”
Just hearing her admit what happened made Lucas want to track the man down and strangle him with his bare hands.
“Why did you stay with him for five years? That’s a long time.”
Jenny had been asked that very question time and again. The same way she figured other battered women had been asked.
“At first I loved Marcus. And he loved me, or at least he appeared to love me. But after about a year of marriage, Marcus’s job of selling real estate began to suffer. By the time it hit rock bottom, he was taking his frustration out on me. He turned dominating and wanted to control every move I made. At the time, I truly believed his attitude stemmed from his job, and because I loved him, I tried to give him the support and understanding I thought he needed. But the more I tried to help him, the more belligerent and controlling he became with me.”
“Then he wasn’t actually hitting you during those five years of marriage?” Lucas asked, his expression grim.
With a heavy, woeful sigh, she shook her head. “No. It wasn’t until the last year of our marriage that he became physically violent. By then, I’d been a police officer for nearly four years. I’d arrested men just like Marcus. But still I couldn’t bring myself to raise a hand to him or report him to the police. Dear God, I was the police! Yet I wasn’t able to handle my own husband! It was so humiliating. You’ll never know how helpless and ashamed I felt, Lucas. Never!”
She was right, of course. Lucas wouldn’t ever know how she’d felt then, but he could imagine the fear and isolation she must have endured. And it broke his heart.
“What made you finally divorce him?” he asked quietly.
Jenny’s gaze dropped to the floor. “I guess it was a combination of things. I finally began to see that no matter how perfect I tried to be, Marcus wasn’t going to be satisfied. So I gave him an ultimatum. He’d either get help or I was going to divorce him. His response was to whack me around the room and tell me he didn’t have a problem, I was the one with the problem. And he said if I tried to divorce him, he’d kill me.”
“But you ended the marriage anyway.” Lucas stated the obvious.
Looking at him, Jenny nodded. “I was a police officer. I’d seen men like Marcus before and knew what they were capable of doing to a woman. I knew if I didn’t get out of the situation, he could very well wind up killing me. He’d certainly already killed my love for him.”
Lucas reached for her hand and found it to be ice cold. “That must have taken a lot of courage.”
“I don’t know about that, Lucas. I think after a while a woman goes through so much pain she finally becomes anesthetized. I didn’t care if he tried to kill me. I wanted out at any cost.”
He squeezed her hand. “Well, surely you can’t feel guilty because you once harbored thoughts of doing him harm? It’s only human nature to want to fight back and defend yourself. Besides, you never actually hurt him, did you?”
Bitterness twisted her face. “No. I turned him loose on some other poor, unsuspecting woman.”
“Where is Marcus now?” he asked gently.
“God only knows. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear he’s in prison somewhere.”
Lucas let ou
t a long breath, then said, “Oh, Jenny, I’m so sorry this ever happened to you.”
“I don’t want you to be sorry, Lucas. I just want you to understand why I’ve chosen never to marry again.”
Lucas reached for her other hand and clasped them both tightly between his. “I can understand why you might be afraid to try marriage again. But surely you can see that I would never be like Marcus.”
No, she didn’t think Lucas would ever raise his hand against a woman. But there were other ways to hurt people without banging them around the room. And she’d already endured enough pain to last her a lifetime.
“Marcus was a nice guy when I was dating him,” she told Lucas. “And even while we were married, he was the good old boy on the block. He was charming to all our neighbors and friends. He would go out of his way to help any of them. No one would have ever suspected the wrath he unleashed on me. I guess that’s why I blamed myself for so long. Since it was only me that angered him, it must have been my fault.”
It hurt Lucas to think she had ever blamed herself. It hurt him even more to imagine she could compare him to the sick man who’d once been her husband. He loved her so much. All he wanted to do was make her happy.
“And you believe I could be the same way?”
“No. Not really. But I—” Drawing her hands from his, she rose from the couch and walked quickly to the kitchen area.
Lucas followed and found her leaning over the sink, her head in her hands. “Jenny?”
At the sound of his voice, she turned to face him. Lucas could see traces of tears on her cheeks.
“Lucas, you don’t understand,” she said. “It’s not that I look at you and think if I marry you, you’ll start hitting me. I don’t think you would.”
Relieved, Lucas closed the small space between them and framed her face with both hands. “Then what’s wrong? Why are you trying to shut me out before I have a chance to show you how much I love you?”
Jenny tried to swallow the painful lump in her throat. “You don’t understand what living with Marcus did to me. My heart doesn’t work right anymore, Lucas. It’s hard and cold and suspicious. You see, it had to become that way to survive. And I don’t think it can change. Not for you or any man.”
“You’re wrong, Jenny. Your heart isn’t hard and cold. You love me. And I’m going to prove it to you.”
Bending his head, he kissed away the salty tears on her lips. “Good night,” he murmured, then brushed his knuckles against the soft point of her chin.
Lucas was a good man, she thought, as he walked to the couch and shrugged into his leather jacket. But he wasn’t that one good man who could turn her life into happily ever after. There wasn’t such a man for Jenny.
Her eyes blurred with tears, she watched him quietly leave the apartment.
The next evening when she and Orville returned from their patrol duty, she found a note on her desk. It was from Lucas’s secretary, Lilah. The woman wanted Jenny to call her as soon as it was convenient.
Ignoring the telephone number on the bottom of the square of paper, Jenny tapped her fingers against the metal desk. Why would Lilah be contacting her, she wondered. Had Lucas put her up to something?
It didn’t matter if he had, Jenny decided after a moment. She was going to call Lilah and make sure he got the message once and for all that she was off-limits where he was concerned. Maybe he did think he loved her now, but he’d get over it. He was young and rich and good-looking. It wouldn’t be a problem at all for him to find another woman.
Trying not to dwell on the “other woman” part, Jenny punched in the telephone number and waited for an answer.
“Lilah’s residence.”
Jenny was immediately taken aback. She hadn’t expected this to be Lilah’s personal number.
“Lilah? This is Jenny Prescott. I’m sorry I’m bothering you at home. I thought this was your work number.”
“Honey, don’t apologize. I’m the one who should be apologizing for calling you at work, but I didn’t know any other way to reach you.”
“That’s quite all right. Was there something I could do for you?”
“Just a minute, love, I’ve got B.B. King on the stereo and Lucille is getting a little carried away.”
Jenny could hear her put down the phone, then the blues music in the background was muted to a softer level.
“There. Now I can hear you,” Lilah said when she returned. “Actually, there is something you can do for me. What are your plans for Thanksgiving?”
Thanksgiving? Jenny hadn’t even realized that time of year was near. All she knew was that it was cold and dreary and spring was a long time away.
“I don’t have any plans, Lilah. I’m not even sure if I’m listed on the work roster that day. More than likely, I am.”
“That’s just not good at all,” she replied. “You’ve got to find out and let me know as quickly as possible. I want you to have Thanksgiving dinner with me.”
Jenny couldn’t believe her ears, then suddenly she could. “Is Lucas going to be there?”
Lilah laughed as though her question was ridiculous. “Of course, honey. Lucas’s daddy is way off in Florida and he doesn’t have a mother. Well, I mean other than me. So naturally he always has Thanksgiving dinner at my house. And I remember you saying you didn’t have any family in the area, so I thought it would be nice for you to join us.”
Jenny hated to sound rude, but she had to ask. “Did Lucas put you up to this?”
Lilah laughed again. “I haven’t even seen Lucas today, and as busy as he stays, I’ll have to remind him that Thursday is Thanksgiving.”
There was only one answer Jenny should give the woman. She should simply thank her for the invitation and decline. But she couldn’t make herself utter the words. Other than Savanna, who was going out of town for Thanksgiving, no one had thought of her or cared that she might be spending the holiday alone. To think that Lilah did touched Jenny.
“Give me a moment, Lilah, and I’ll go check the duty roster.”
“Take your time, honey. I’ll hold.”
Jenny walked to the bulletin board at the back of the room. As soon as she found Thursday’s schedule, she hurried back to the telephone.
“Lilah, I’m afraid I don’t get off work until one that afternoon. But it was nice of you to think of me anyway.”
“Can you make it by two?”
Jenny was so surprised by the question, she glanced at the receiver in her hand. “Yes, I could. But, Lilah, I wouldn’t hear of putting you out that way. There’s no point in delaying your dinner just so I can be there.”
“Nonsense. With dinner being at a later hour, I won’t have to get up before dawn to put the turkey in the oven. I’ll be able to have coffee in bed and do it later. It’ll be lovely.”
Jenny knew it was utter foolishness to go to a dinner when she knew Lucas would be there. But she could count on one hand the times she’d had a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. She wasn’t going to let Lucas put her off this one.
“Thank you for inviting me, Lilah. I’ll be there. Do I need to bring anything?”
“Just your smiling face. So here’s my address.” She gave Jenny directions to her house, then added, “See you Thursday.”
Jenny thanked her again, then thoughtfully hung up the telephone.
Was she out of her mind? she wondered. Or was she really a masochist? Had she stayed with Marcus all those years because she liked being dominated and abused? Was that why she was setting herself up for more suffering?
Angry at the questions she was posing, Jenny snatched up a report form and scrolled it into the typewriter. Damn it, she was going to get to work and quit analyzing herself. It didn’t matter why she was going to have Thanksgiving dinner at Lilah’s. She was simply going to go and enjoy it.
Two days later, Jenny drove to the address Lilah had given her. The area was a quiet neighborhood of houses that had been built in the happy, prosperous fifties.
A b
lack pickup was parked in the short driveway. Jenny parked behind it, then walked the small porch snuggled between two tall evergreens. Brown-gold leaves from a nearby sycamore tumbled across the yard, then sailed toward her feet.
Just as she reached for the doorbell, a gust of wind caught the tail of her crinkled gauze skirt and sent it flying above her waist.
“Good afternoon, Jenny. Need a little help with that?”
Gasping at the sound of Lucas’s voice, she grabbed the flying material and shoved it in place. But from the grin on his face, Jenny knew he’d already caught an eyeful of thighs and calves.
Her cheeks pink, she brushed past him and stepped into the house. “Agentleman would have turned his head,” she said primly.
He shut the door behind him, then took her shoulder and spun her into his arms. “It just isn’t in me to be a gentleman, Jenny.”
Before she could manage to draw a breath, his lips were on her mouth, his hands on her hips, tasting, tempting, turning her insides to liquid heat.
After what seemed an eternity, he finally moved her away from him, and Jenny stared at him, her chest heaving. “Do you think I came here for that?” she gasped ber tween panting breaths.
Lucas smiled at her stunned look. “I’m sure you’re going to tell me you’re here for the turkey and giblet gravy.”
“And Lilah’s company,” she added in her no-nonsense cop voice.
He began to laugh. Jenny glared at him.
“What are you doing now? Trying to insult your secretary?” she asked.
“Insult Lilah?” He laughed again. “Why, when I found out she’d invited you to have dinner with us today, I kissed her four times. She loved it.”
Even though her insides were still glowing from his kiss, Jenny rolled her eyes at him. “I’m sure.”
A smug little smile on his face, Lucas took her by the elbow and led her out of the short foyer. “Lilah appreciates a man’s attention,” he said. “She’s gone through more beaus in the past five years than I have shirts.”
“Where is Lilah, anyway?” Jenny asked, as they stepped down into a long sunken living room. “Have you tied and gagged her and thrown her into a closet?”
Wanted: Wife Page 11
