She cupped his cheek with her palm and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. “You’re a good man, Gideon Branch. A nice man. A sweet man.”
“A sexy man?” He grabbed her finger with his teeth and bit. A little bite, no pressure. A tease, and she couldn’t help but smile. Just being near him made her feel better. Having him around might not be such a bad thing, after all.
A long, slow smile covered her features.
“You have your moments.”
“Walk me out?” His arm around her shoulders, hers around his waist, she let him steal a kiss. One steaming hot reminder that good, nice, sweet Gideon was also one hundred percent red-blooded alpha male and one heck of a kisser.
Lord, have mercy. She watched as he took the few steps down from her porch. That man sure can fill out a pair of jeans.
Maddie dreamed about Gideon Branch that night.
She dreamed about their night on the prairie, about his powerful body and steady presence. About the way his eyes burrowed so deep into her soul and spoke to her heart that she felt as if he knew everything about her. Vows she’d made about letting herself care for another man melted like a snowman at the first breath of warm spring air. Little by little, he chipped away at her defenses as her frozen heart thawed.
****
The next morning, she realized for sure that “like” was quickly turning into something stronger as her objections faded more every time they were together. If the doctor gave her the go-ahead, they would meet his architect friend over the weekend. A road trip. Together. A night alone. Whatever would they find to do?
A knock on her door broke into her reverie. “Baby girl, you up?” Pap called.
“Come on in. I’m decent.”
“What time do we have to be in town?” he asked. “Takes me forever to get ready these days.”
“Ten. We’ll leave at nine thirty, if you can manage it. All I have to do is tend to the horses and get a shower.”
“I’ll be ready. You and Gideon still going to Laramie and meet with his architect buddy Friday?”
“Assuming the doctor says it’s all right, yes. You feeling okay today?” Maddie cast a concerned glance his way.
“Now, Maddie, don’t fret. We both know where this is going, and I’m not running away from it. We’ve had this discussion. I won’t have you spend your days and nights watching every move I make. You and Gideon go meet his friend and get started on the plans for the cabins, and that’s final.”
Biting her tongue, she abandoned the argument. If the doctor said Pap could be alone, she’d go. A pang of excitement hit her belly. Time with Gideon. What was it about the man that shredded her reservations and had her thinking about him the last thing at night and the first thing in the morning?
Driving her Chevy as smoothly as she could, Maddie saw Pap grimace a time or two as she hit the unavoidable potholes on the rural roads. White lines of pain appeared on each side of his mouth. Though he didn’t complain, each trip would become more difficult for him. She ought to stay home; she didn’t have any business leaving him from here on out.
Sadness pitted in her chest. Her grandfather had made his peace with this illness, but she hadn’t. She hated the thought of losing him. She hated death, and grief, and loneliness, but how could she escape it? A part of life, Pap said.
But he was wrong. It wasn’t a part of life; it was the completion of life.
“Don’t dwell, girl. I can see it on your face. My time’s coming to an end, but I’m ready. I know you’re going to miss me, but I want you to remember our good times. All the times it was you and me against this old world, and how we made a life together after Emma and your parents died.” He gazed out the window at the passing fields and trees. “You have a good future ahead of you—a whole life to live and laugh and love, just as me and your grandma had. Only wish I could have lasted long enough to see your babies. That’s my only regret. I want your promise—right now, Maddie Mae. I want you to smile when you remember me, and put the tears and sadness away.”
Biting back a sob, Maddie nodded as she struggled to maintain control of her emotions. “I’ll try, Pap.”
It was the best she could do. Right now, all she wanted was to throw herself into Gideon’s arms and let him hold her until the next weeks were over. Somehow she knew he’d make it better; somehow she knew he could make her world right again.
The doctor’s expression when he came into the examination room did nothing to ease Maddie’s anxiety. Pap was okay now, emphasis on now, but the cold dread that crept over her did nothing to erase her worry. At home, Pap insisted she confirm with Gideon, and even joked with her while she reluctantly packed.
“We aren’t going to talk about this again, girl. It makes you too upset. Everything you need to know is in my old desk. From now until Emma comes for me, we are going to live one day at a time. No more talk about death or dying.” When Pap dug in his heels, there was nothing for it but to go along. He’d said all he was going to say, the stubborn old coot.
That night, after she’d fed him and made sure he took his medications, she tried everything she could to make herself fall asleep. About two o’clock, she gave up, grabbed a bottled water from the fridge, and went out back to the rocking chairs lined up on the porch. Thoughts of Gideon and Pap and the camp swirled in her mind until she finally gave up trying to make sense of it all and just rocked.
The moon hung round and bright in the inky sky as she stared at the blurred outlines of black buildings and shadowed lace-like fences. Her home. Inhaling the night air, fragrant with grass and the pungent smell of animals, gave her comfort as she drew from the familiar. She couldn’t help but wonder at the speed with which a beginning and an ending rushed her way like a fast-moving train coming from a place she could not see, headed to a place she could not know. In spite of the uncertainty, a peace invaded her being.
Pap was right. He’d grown her strong with love and guidance. She’d honor those efforts by facing the future with fortitude and grace, grateful for the times they’d shared, living life as she’d been taught.
Her grandfather had picked Gideon for her—that was a given. Nudging her in his direction at every opportunity. And was that really so bad? She was halfway in love with him already. Every instinct she possessed told her he was a man she could rely on, a partner for life, trustworthy. The physical connection between them was undeniable, every glance, every touch, every kiss made her want him. Her first real lover, he’d introduced her to pleasure she never dreamed existed, and she craved more.
Pap wanted the relationship.
Gideon wanted it.
Why fight it?
Too exhausted to think any more, she locked up the house and went back to bed. Her last cognizant thought was of a tall, broad-shouldered man with flames of desire flickering in his eyes. One sigh, one smile, and sleep stole time away.
Chapter Eighteen
The next morning, she woke to pounding on the front door and staggered from her room to find Loretta stood outside, grinning ear to ear, with a sparkle in her eye. “Came to stay with Pap. Stan gave me the entire day off.”
Maddie swung open the door and hugged her friend. “You guys are the greatest. I’m going to kiss that man of yours the next time I see him.”
Loretta pretended offense. “You’ve got your own man now. Leave mine alone.”
“I don’t know, Lo, he’s mighty pretty,” she teased.
A smug grin came over her friend’s face. “He is that, isn’t he?”
“Not bored yet?” Maddie raised her brows while her friend blushed.
“Not with Stan Mason in my bed at night. Anyway, looks as if I’m going to be taking a few more days here and there. We’ve hired a new waitress—Jenny Carruthers—remember her?”
“Sure, I remember Jenny. Tall, blonde, pretty. You sure you want her around Stan on a daily basis?”
“No worries, he’s going to be too busy at the cafe and taking care of me to pay attention to another woman.” Loret
ta grinned with a secretive expression sparkling in her eyes.
Maddie could be slow at times, but rarely stupid. “Wait a minute. You’re taking some time off, hiring a new employee, and Stan is on board—what’s going on?” She grabbed Loretta’s shoulders. Excitement trilled through her as she stared at her friend, almost afraid to guess at what she was thinking. Intent on the happiness showing on Loretta’s face, she willed her to confess. “Are you?”
Her friend nodded, joy lighting her face as she reached for Maddie and hugged her close.
“Pregnant?” Maddie squealed.
“Yeah. Four months.”
The two jumped up and down, dancing around the room, until Maddie stopped dead with a solemn expression. “Four? Careful,” she palmed Loretta’s tiny baby bump, feeling her own stomach lurch as she felt the tiny hard knot. “You shouldn’t be jostling around—it might hurt the baby.”
“Nothing’s going to harm this baby. She’s tucked safe and sound inside me and starting to give me trouble already.”
“She?” Maddie squealed.
“It’s a girl, and Stan is beside himself. Oh, Maddie—I love him so much, and to have his child is beyond my wildest dreams.”
Pap, standing in the doorway, interrupted with a huge grin. “Maybe one day soon you and Loretta will be celebrating your baby warming in the oven, Maddie. Congratulations, Loretta, you and Stan are going to love having a little one around the house. Nothing on earth like the love of a sweet child. Makes life worth living.”
“Thanks, Pap,” Loretta said. “You and I are going to be spending a little time together. I brought my own book to read while you ride the plains with Zane Grey, and I have a brand new deck of cards I’d like to break in. Stan whips me every time we play Texas Hold’em. Think you could help me sharpen my game?”
“I don’t need a nursemaid yet, but I never say no to a good game of poker—Maddie hates to play cards.”
“I don’t hate it—I’m just not very good at it. Takes the fun away when you lose all the time, and Pap tends to gloat.”
“Get on with you, girl. Go pack your bag. Gideon should be here in less than an hour.”
Maddie kissed her grandfather on the cheek before Loretta helped him into his recliner. She left the two of them discussing their plans for the afternoon. Pulling her bag from the top shelf of the closet, she packed her dress jeans, a pretty cream top with lace inserts, and a fairly new pair of red heels. A jacket and scarf, another casual outfit, and she was almost done except for her toiletries. At the last minute, she threw in her one little black dress. The restaurant might be too dressy for jeans.
A couple of pairs of matching panties and bras and a simple silk night slip had her biting her lips in consternation. Gideon would see her in those. She’d never worn lingerie in front of a man. Another first. Heat pooled between her legs as she recalled the gleam of intensity that smoldered in his eyes as he’d swept his gaze over her body when they’d made love.
The expression on her face must have been a dead giveaway. Loretta leaned against the door frame and in a soft voice asked, “You’re falling for him, aren’t you?”
Maddie didn’t dare meet her glance. “I’m not sure, Lo,” she replied. “We haven’t known each other long, but we’ve shared quite a lot. I like Gideon, maybe more than like. I just don’t know.”
Loretta came into the room, sat on the bed and stared up at her friend. “Okay, tell me what you like about him.”
Maddie inhaled, picked up the delicate silk gown and fingered the fabric. “I like that he’s a man, not a boy. He’s direct and doesn’t play games. He’s strong but gentle—makes me feel safe, secure. I don’t think he’d lie to me, because I sense a depth of integrity in his character, and I trust him.”
“That sounds like the Gideon I know, Maddie. You can trust him. I do. Stan does. That you can see that part of him means a lot.”
Maddie nodded. “When he looks at me, my heart does these funny flip-flops in my chest, and my stomach knots. I get hot, then cold, then hot again. Funny, I was ready to marry Harrison and give everything to him and never—not once—did he make me feel this way. Why, Loretta? How could I have been so wrong for my entire life?”
Loretta sighed, and with piercing honesty opened her heart. “Harrison is a loveable person, Maddie. He loved you and you loved him—his sexual orientation doesn’t negate his true feelings for you, but marriage to him would have been a disaster. You’d have been hurt far more than being left at the altar.” Her hand rested on her belly. “What would have happened if he’d gone through with it, and you’d found out later that his love had limitations? Could you have stayed in the marriage knowing your husband was unhappy and intimacy with you was not what either of you wanted?”
Maddie shook her head.
God, how could I have been so stupid?
She was never meant to be with Harrison, she’d just been too naïve and blind to see. In the end, he’d done the right thing for the right reasons—albeit, at the wrong time. Looking back, she realized Harrison must have been as confused, even hurt, as much as she.
What now? Where did she go from here?
“You know, Gideon is a magnificent man,” Maddie said thoughtfully. “He’s strong and handsome and—I can’t describe it in words—the way he makes me feel when he kisses me. The world just disappears, and he makes me hungry for him. Does that sound crazy?”
“No, Maddie. It sounds like you’re falling in love,” Loretta answered.
“I’m not sure I know what love is—what it feels like. I thought I loved Harrison, and look how that turned out. How can I be sure this time? How did you know Stan was the one—the only one—for you?”
Loretta thought for a while, then took Maddie’s hand in hers and stared earnestly in her eyes. “There’s a certainty that comes to you. A knowing, deep down inside. Sometimes it happens right away; sometimes it grows from friendship. With us, the connection was immediate. I wanted him—he wanted me. We wanted to be together all the time, and when we weren’t, our thoughts were of each other. He was on my mind the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. When he touched me, kissed me, it was like fireworks exploding in the sky on the Fourth of July. I shiver when he looks at me, I want his body, and to give him mine, and show him all of my love. And I want his heart. Stan is everything to me. My lover, my companion, my rock. He satisfies me in every way. I couldn’t live without him.”
“Wow,” Maddie breathed. “I’m not sure I’m quite there yet with Gideon.”
Loretta smiled and patted her hand. “Something tells me you will be, that this is right for you and for him. I know him—you can trust your instincts. With Gideon, what you see is what you get.”
Maddie took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. How could everyone be wrong? Pap trusted him, Loretta and Stan counted him worthy to be called their friend. And she went weak in the knees.
Pap hollered from the other room. “Maddie, I hear Gideon’s truck. Are you ready?”
“Ready, Pap,” she called out as she and Loretta joined hands and squeezed.
To Loretta she said, “Take good care of him while I’m gone. He’s growing weaker day by day.”
“I will. Promise me you won’t worry. Enjoy your weekend. Maybe this time together is just what you need to decide how you really feel about Gideon.”
Zipping her suitcase and rolling it to the door, Maddie turned back to Loretta. “I don’t know what I’d do without your friendship.”
“Oh, don’t worry—I’m putting you down for chief babysitter when the time comes.” Loretta laughed and rubbed her tummy.
“That’s a deal, Lo. As long as you understand that I’ve had as much experience around infants as you have.”
Loretta shrugged one shoulder. “A wise woman named Emma once told me, ‘All you have to do is feed them, change them, and love them. The rest will take care of itself.’ ”
“I wish she was still here,” Maddie admitted. “I could use
a little of her wisdom right now.”
As she stepped into the living room, Gideon opened the front door, and their eyes met and held. For that one brief moment, time suspended. His gaze drank her up, traveling over her body slowly. Aware only of him, her mouth curved into a wide smile, and the sight of him took her breath away.
“Gideon,” she murmured, like he was a gift she could hardly wait to open.
“Hey,” came his husky greeting. “You ready to do this?”
Maddie nodded and kissed Pap goodbye on the cheek. “Be good, and don’t take all of Loretta’s money at poker.”
“Don’t you worry about us—go put that friend of Gideon’s on the right track about those cabins. I’ll be here when you get back,” Pap said.
She turned to Gideon, and her heart beat in a frenzied burst she was sure everyone could hear. Barely conscious of their hurried departure and the subdued laughter of her grandfather and Loretta, she waved as Gideon slung her bag in his truck and, hands at her waist, lifted her to the seat.
“You smell good.” The words popped out before she could stop them.
His eyes, warm and a bit surprised, focused on her lips. “So do you…”
Close enough she could almost taste the flavor of his mouth, Maddie stared as light smoldered in his sky-blue eyes. Before his lips whispered against hers, her mouth dropped in open invitation, and a slow, drugging kiss settled deliciously on her mouth, possessive and moist, demanding a response. She gave herself over to the sensation of his tongue exploring, his touch igniting, the press of his warm male body against the softness of her own.
Breaking contact, Gideon leaned his forehead against hers. “My God, woman, what you do to me. I’d like nothing better than to lay you back in that seat and prove once and for all how good we are together. If we don’t leave right now, I’m going to embarrass both of us in front of your grandfather and your friend.”
He pushed away, closed the door, and discreetly adjusted the fit of his jeans. When they waved goodbye to Pap and Loretta, she couldn’t deny the sparks of excitement flooding her veins or the relief coming over her like a gentle flood. It would be good to get away, if only for a night. She hadn’t realized how tightly she’d been strung. Laying her head back against the leather seat, she briefly closed her eyes. Behind her lids was the image of the man settling in beside her and the promise in his gaze.
Never Say Never Again Page 15
