by Maggie Walsh
* * * *
The room was cleared out except for Raith, Sage, and Maddy. Slade had a hard time leaving his side and Sage thought it was very sweet of him, but he needed to do this alone. Once everyone was gone, Sage nervously looked to Raith and then Maddy. He wrapped his arms around his waist and dropped his head, looking down at his feet as he began to bite his bottom lip. “So…um…now what?” he asked with a shrug.
He heard Raith clear his throat as he took a step closer. “Now I tell you how sorry I am.”
Sage’s head snapped up and he met Raith’s gaze with his confused one. “Huh?”
Raith gave him a sad smile. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you growing up. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you from all the bad things you went through your whole life.” Raith choked out the words as tears filled his eyes. “I’m supposed to be the big bad kill enforcer and I couldn’t even protect my own sons.”
“Dad, that’s not true,” Maddy said and moved to stand by Raith, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“It is true, Matthew. You were raised by a psycho bitch and Sage was raised by a sick bastard. Then you both ended up running away, living on the streets, and having to face the evils of the world alone.”
“But, Maddy’s right. You’re not to blame, Raith. You had no idea we even existed. Hell, we didn’t even know the other existed. Well, that’s not true. My mom did tell me when I was little that I was adopted and I had a twin out there somewhere. She even told me that she wanted to adopt us both, but the home told her that my twin had already been taken,” Sage rambled on.
“So you always knew you had a twin?” Maddy asked.
“Yeah.” Sage shrugged his shoulders. “There were a few times I thought about who he was, what he looked like, and where he was. Mom told me we weren’t identical, so I had no idea what he would look like. When I was growing up, whenever I got lonely I used to make him up in my head. He was my imaginary friend for years,” Sage said with a laugh.
Maddy chuckled. “Oh yeah? And what did you name me?”
Sage looked up startled and met Maddy’s gaze. When he saw nothing but honest curiosity and humor in Maddy’s eyes, Sage smiled shyly. “Hubert,” he whispered with a laugh.
Maddy’s eyes widened and filled with laughter. “Hubert? You named me Hubert? How the hell did you come up with that name?”
“I don’t know. Mom said it was because she loved Engelbert Humperdink and listened to him all the time. I could never pronounce his name correctly, so I used to call him Hubert, too. She thinks it may have come from that.”
“I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, including asshole, prick, and useless, but never Hubert.” Maddy laughed.
All the humor left Sage from Maddy’s words and he looked at him thoughtfully. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that.”
“About what? You were a kid who needed an imaginary friend. There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
“No, not that. About calling you an asshole and a prick. Along with a ton of other colorful words,” Sage said as he flicked his hands out.
Maddy stepped closer and stopped right in front of Sage, giving him a big smile. “Nothing to be sorry about there, either. You were only being honest. I was a prick. And an asshole.”
“And a jerk, fucktard, twat, knuckle dragger,” Sage added with a laugh.
Maddy chuckled. “Yeah. I was all those things and more, and I deserved every one of them.” Then Maddy’s face got serious. “But you didn’t deserve any of the crap I said to you. I was just jealous, because you embraced who you were and didn’t care what anyone thought of you. Since the day I met you I thought, damn, this guy is brave. How does he do it? How does he walk around, well, flit around”―Maddy chuckled―“so casually and just be who he wants to be and fuck everybody else? I wished I could be more like that.”
Sage’s eyes went wide. “You did?”
“Hell yeah. I wasn’t allowed to show who I was or what I was feeling. I learned at an early age to keep that stuff locked inside and not let anyone see it. And then here you were, this over-the-top little diva, who likes to wear girl’s clothes and makeup and wants to be a stripper. And gave no mind to what anyone thought about it. A gorgeous guy who was out and proud, and almost died inside when he had to hide it when we were in those other packs. If that’s not brave, then I don’t know what is.”
Sage gave Maddy a shy smile. “Thank you for saying that, Maddy.”
“It’s the truth. And while we’re being all honest here…” Maddy took a step closer and clasped Sage’s hand. Sage gasped, shocked from the gesture, but also from the tears in Maddy’s eyes. “I’m happy that it’s you that turned out to be my brother.”
“You are?” Sage whispered, the surprise evident in his voice.
“Yeah. I am. Like I said, I was a prick to you, and the reason was because I was jealous of you. I looked up to you, even though you didn’t know it, and I couldn’t show it. You are everything I wished I could be. Strong, brave, proud, funny, and I know you’re my brother and all and I don’t want this to come out all weird and sound eeew, but, you’re also stunningly beautiful. And I hope that someday you can forgive me for always giving you a hard time and maybe we can start being brothers.”
Sage was touched by Maddy’s confessions. And he could see the truth in his eyes as he spoke. He was so shocked by everything Maddy had said, but he wanted what Maddy did. He wanted to be a family. He wanted a real brother. Sage squeezed Maddy’s hand and cleared his throat. “I already forgive you, Maddy. Can you forgive me?”
“For what? You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“For not being totally honest with everyone, and running. For always being so wrapped up in myself that I didn’t pay any attention to what you were going through. If I had, then maybe I would have figured out that I was your missing twin a long time ago and it would have saved us all a lot of crap. For making you all worry, and for all the evil things I have thought about you…before you found your mates.”
“I forgive you. Can we start fresh? Right here, right now,” Maddy asked hopefully.
“I would really like that. But let me ask you one more thing.”
“Shoot.”
“Do you have a problem with me and how I normally dress? Not this normal shit I have on now. You know what I mean. The dresses, heels, makeup, over-the-top diva who wants to strip.”
“Nope. Not a one. You be exactly who you are and don’t let anyone change you. I am proud of you and even prouder to call you my brother,” Maddy said with conviction.
Maddy’s words and the honesty behind them brought tears to Sage’s eyes. He had a real brother and he wasn’t disgusted by the real him. He didn’t reject him. Maddy was accepting him. All of him. “Thank you…brother,” Sage whispered around the lump in his throat.
Maddy closed the small distance between them and hugged Sage. His body stiffened at first from the shock of it, but he relaxed and returned the embrace. “Welcome home, brother,” Maddy whispered in his ear, his voice coming out just as choked up as Sage’s.
After a few minutes Raith cleared his throat and Sage and Maddy broke their hug, stepping back from each other and each wiping the tears from their eyes. Sage looked to Raith and noticed his eyes were red-rimmed and slightly swollen, and his cheeks were damp. “I’m proud of both my boys. Of the amazing men that you have grown to be. My heart hurts because I wasn’t there to see you grow, or to help you to become who you are now, but I would love for all of us to get to know each other. To be a real family someday. And before you think anything negative, Sage. I don’t care how you dress, or act, or what you want to do for a living, as long as you are true to you and are happy. I am proud to call you my son,” Raith declared.
The floodgates opened and Sage began to cry uncontrollably. His father. His real father accepted him and was proud of him. It suddenly felt like all the weight of the world had rolled off his back and he could breathe. Raith crossed the distance between them and wrap
ped his arms around Sage, and held him tight. Sage held on to Raith as he buried his face against his chest, then he felt another set or arms wrap around him and new it was Maddy. Without saying a word, they each shifted, until they were all hugging one another. He had found his twin brother and his real father, and they accepted him and wanted him. This moment is what Sage had dreamed of for so long. And it was a thousand times better than everything he had imagined.
Chapter 10
“I told you you had nothing to worry about with Raith and Maddy,” Slade said as he rubbed a hand down Sage’s back. The two sat next to each other on stools at the bar in Tempest’s bar room.
“I know. And you were right, but I was still scared. You don’t know how Maddy was before he ran away. Before he claimed his mates. He wasn’t this great guy he is now. He always made negative gay comments and was a total homophobic prick. He teased me constantly and gave me shit about my clothes, my hair, my makeup, me wanting to strip. It was―”
“Wanting to strip?” Slade cut him off.
Sage looked at him sheepishly. “Caught that, did ya?”
“Yes. Explain.”
“I really love to dance. And…”
“And what, sweetness?”
“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way and not want me anymore,” Sage whispered sadly.
“I will always want you, Sage. No matter what you tell me,” Slade promised and leaned over, kissing the side of his neck.
“I didn’t totally hate everything Francis made me do. I mean I did, but I didn’t. I hated that Francis drugged me and forced me to do things, but I loved the attention. When I was having sex with those other men, I felt like someone cared about me, at least for a little while. I know it’s a repressed need to feel accepted by my father and wanting his approval and love and how it’s because he didn’t show me any blah, blah, blah. I have daddy issues. But in those moments, for a little while, it felt like someone cared.
“And when I ran from Francis I moved around a lot. I was setting up all my hiding spots, and this one time when I was in Phoenix, I hit this club. It was a huge gay club. One area had dancing, another had drag shows, and another section had strippers. I loved watching the Drag Queens. They were so beautiful and sexy and I wanted to feel sexy. I made friends with a few of them and they told me that with my looks I could make a killing being a drag queen. I told them I couldn’t sing for shit. They said that was okay, a lot of them lip synced. And although I did love dressing in some of the women’s clothes sometimes and I loved the makeup and heels. I didn’t want to dress in women’s clothes all the time. I don’t want to be a woman. I like being a man. I know that’s not the point of being in drag, but I didn’t have the desire to do that, even though I loved the getups. Then I watched the guys onstage stripping and I saw all the attention they were getting from the audience and all the love, and I wanted that. They weren’t pretending to be someone else. It wasn’t a costume, wig, and makeup, but their own bodies, their own faces. People were wanting them for them.
“So once a week the club had open talent night where anyone could get on the drag queen stage and show what they had, or get on the stripper pole and strut their stuff. So I did. And I loved it. I had so much fun, and the audience loved me. The owner even came to me and asked me if I wanted a job. I jumped at the chance. He said he would start me off slow because there was a lot I still needed to learn, but he put me on once a week. I had only done two shows when I had to leave town. A week later I met Evan. But for those two shows, I felt sexy, and sensual, and wanted. It made me feel really good inside.
“Then when we moved to Sanctuary and they have a really great strip club there that Jesse owns, I just really wanted to get back on that stage. I missed it so much. I never stripped bare, you know? I only ever went down to tight boy shorts. Jesse said that if it was really what I wanted to do he would hire me as a stripper, but not until I was twenty-one. I could have smacked myself because I had lied about my age and everyone thought I was nineteen. If I had told them I was older from the start, I would have only had to wait a year. Then I thought with all my fake IDs I had, I could have picked one that said I was twenty-one already, but when I met Evan I only had two with me. One said I was eighteen and the other nineteen. When he asked me who I was, I pulled out the one with Sage Butler on it. So, yeah, anyway, that’s that.”
“My turn to confess,” Slade announced.
Sage turned his head to look at him. “What do you mean?”
Slade turned in his stool and grabbed Sage’s stool and swiveled him around, so they were facing each other and placed his hands on Sage’s thighs. “Since the moment I saw you for the first time, all I thought about was what an amazing body you have and how it would be perfect for dancing. I even had a few fantasies of you dancing on stage as you slowly stripped your clothes off, teasing the crowd. But they couldn’t touch you because you were mine.”
Sage’s eyes opened wide. “Really?”
“Really.” Slade reached up and pushed a strand of Sage’s hair behind his ear. “I honestly don’t know how I will react if I actually have to sit there and watch you strip in front of others, but I think it would be hot. Knowing that all this sexiness was all mine, and I was the only one allowed to touch, makes me hard just thinking about it. I don’t want to change you, mate, and if stripping is what you really want to do, and it makes you happy, then I will try to find a way to deal with it. If I can’t handle it, I promise I will tell you and we’ll see what we can figure out.”
Sage’s eyes filled with tears of joy. “I really did hit the jackpot in the mate department. You would be willing to let me strip onstage in front of other men just to make me happy?”
“Yes, sweetness. But they better keep their damn hands to themselves or risk castration,” Slade growled the last part.
Sage giggled and leaned in. “Then it’s a good thing I don’t want to strip anymore. I know now that it was just my need to feel wanted and accepted. But I have that now with you, Raith, and Maddy, as well as everyone else in my new family. I don’t need it from strangers anymore, but I would love to find a way to dance once in a while. I loved pole dancing. And for that you don’t need to strip.”
“Whatever makes you happy, my love,” Slade said.
Sage closed the distance between them and kissed Slade. Slade ran his fingers through Sage’s hair and cupped the back of his head, pulling them closer together as he deepened the kiss.
“Shit. Sorry,” Maddy said.
Slade pulled back from the kiss and gave Sage a heated look. “Talk with your brother and I’ll be waiting for you up in our room.” He gave Sage a quick kiss and stood up.
“I’ll be up soon,” Sage promised.
“Take your time. I’ll wait.” Slade turned and crossed the room. He patted Maddy on the back as he passed him, and left.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“It’s okay,” Sage said with a smile. “Is there something you needed?”
“Yeah, kind of,” Maddy hedged as he moved across the room and sat in Slade’s vacant seat.
“Okay. Well, what is it?” Sage asked curiously.
“While we’ve been here and have been learning a lot about Allison and her magic, Rory and Adam came across something in his Grimoire. They’re upstairs right now showing it to Zane to see if maybe it will work in helping with Allison’s powers when they try to claim you,” Maddy explained.
“Okay. Well, that’s great. Right?” Sage asked hesitantly.
“Nobody wanted to get your hopes up if it can’t work, so I volunteered to come tell you. I mean the crazy bitch was my mother after all.”
“Well, technically she was my mother, too.”
“Yeah, but I’m kind of glad she left you behind. And not because I didn’t want you around,” Maddy was quick to say and Sage could see it was because he was worried about how Sage would take what he said. “I would have loved to have had my brother around growing up. But I�
��m happy you weren’t because Allison was really a twisted bitch. And having Malachi around all the time for the last few years I was with her, was a hell all its own.”
“I understand what you mean, Maddy.”
“Good,” Maddy said with a relieved sigh as he nodded.
“Is there something else?” Sage asked.
“Yeah. For the past week, since we’ve been chasing you, I have had nightmares every night. I used to have them all the time, but since I mated Josh and Milo they’ve gone away. But these new ones have really scared the hell out of me,” Maddy confessed.
Sage placed his hand over Maddy’s hands that were clasped together on the bar. “What is it?”
“I see me as a little boy, about ten years old, and Allison and I are in the backyard of that house―”
“Oh shit, Maddy. I keep forgetting that that’s where you were raised, right?”
“Yeah. That’s the house we lived in until I was twelve and she gave me away to that pack. Anyway. We’re in the yard and I’m playing with this ball. Just tossing it against the side of the garage and I hear this noise. When I turn around, Allison is sitting there on the patio in her rocking chair, like she always did, and on her lap she has this big black book. I ask her what it is and she tells me it’s her magic that she will pass down to me someday, and that it’s time I start to learn from it.”
“You mean like a Grimoire? Like Rory has?”
“Yes, exactly. But this one looks…I don’t know. Can a book look evil? Because this one does. So as I get closer I notice this black triangle in the center of the cover and as I stare at it, it feels like it’s calling to me. Almost like it’s pulling me in. I start to panic and just want to get as far away from it as possible. As I take a step back, I trip over something and fall on my ass. When I look to see what I tripped over, there’s this pure white cat with black-as-night eyes, just standing there staring at me. The cat walks closer to me and I shit you not, the damn thing starts talking to me.”
“He does? So what did he say?” Sage asked curiously.
