ABOUT HICCUP
Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third was
an awesome swordfighter, a dragon-whisperer,
and the greatest Viking Hero that ever lived.
But Hiccup’s memoirs look back to when
he was a very ordinary boy, and finding
it hard to be a Hero.
You don’t have to read the Hiccup books in order.
But if you want to, this is the right order:
A big thank-you to Simon Cowell, Caspar Hare, and
Andrea Malaskova
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product
of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events,
locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Text and illustrations copyright © 2005 by Cressida Cowell
Cover design by Kristina Iulo
Cover © 2010 Hachette Book Group, Inc.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning,
uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of
the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you
would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written
permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at [email protected].
Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
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the publisher.
First ebook edition: January 2014
eISBN 978-0-316-37719-5
E3
~ CONTENTS ~
1. The Boarding-an-Enemy-Ship Lesson.............. 15
2. Sharkworms!!!.................................................... 26
3. Out of the Cooking Pot.................................... 46
4. Toothless to the Rescue………......................... 60
5. Back on Berk……............................……............. 75
6. That Night in a Sinister Roman Fort…........... 88
7. Nanodragon…………..............................……...... 90
8. The Frightening Foreigners Lesson................. 102
9. Welcome to Fort Sinister……............................. 112
10. The Secret Identity of the Thin Prefect…... 120
11. The Bog-Burglar Heir....................................… 134
12. The Master-Escaper………............................... 144
13. Back on Berk………………............................... 148
14. Camicazi’s Escape Plans…..…....................... 151
15. The Coming of the Sharkworms…................. 162
16. The Cunning But Desperate Plan..…............ 164
17. The Circus on Saturn’s Day Saturday…...... 174
18. The Valhalla Express….......…......................... 181
19. Aaaaaaagh!!……............................................... 184
20. Hiccup the God…….......….....................…........ 199
21. You Can’t Keep a Bog-Burglar...…................ 204
22. The Return of the Heroic Heirs.......….......... 218
Once there were dragons.
Imagine a time of DRAGONS – some larger
than mountainsides, slumbering in the depths of the
ocean; some smaller than your fingernail, hopping
through the heather.
Imagine a time of VIKING HEROES, in
which men were men and women were sort of men
too and even some little babies had chest hair.
And now imagine that you are a boy called
Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, not yet
twelve years old and not yet turning out to be the kind
of Hero his father would have liked him to be. That
boy of course, was really ME, but the boy I was then
seems so far away to me now that I shall tell this story
almost as if he were a stranger.
So, imagine that instead of being me, this
stranger, this Hero-in-Waiting, is YOU.
You are small. You have red hair. You don’t
realise it yet, but you are about to set out on the most
alarming episode of your life so far… When you are
an old, old man like I am you will call it ‘My First
Encounter with the Roman Empire’ – and even at this
distance in time it will still cause your old wrinkled
arms to prickle with goose bumps as you remember
the perils and dangers of that terrifying adventure…
1. THE BOARDING-AN-
ENEMY-SHIP LESSON
Once upon a foggy day in a cold, cold country long, long
ago, seven small Viking boats floated through the Sea-
Known-as-Woden’s-Bathtub. The fog had swallowed up
the Peaceable Country to the north, and the Isle of Berk
to the west, and, indeed, had swallowed up so much of
everything, that it was as if the boats were sky-boats, and
had left the earth entirely, and were sailing through
cloud banks way, way up in the air.
In the first boat, The Fat Boar, sat Gobber the
Belch, a six and a half foot giant in teeny-weeny hairy
shorts, who had leg muscles so enormous they had
muscles of their own, and a beard like a hedgehog
struck by lightning. Gobber was the teacher in charge
of the Pirate Training Programme on the Isle of
Berk, and this sail through the fog was part
of a Boarding-an-Enemy-Ship lesson.
The six boy-sized boats that were following The Fat
Boar each had two boys in them, and these boys were
Gobber’s pupils, young members of the Tribe of the
Hairy Hooligans.
‘OK, YOU DISGUSTING GLOBS OF
GIRLY SNOT!’ yelled Gobber, in a bellow so loud it
could be heard several miles away. ‘WE ARE NOW
GOING TO PRACTISE BOARDING AN ENEMY
SHIP ON THE EASY TARGET OF A
PEACEABLE FISHING BOAT… CAN ANYONE
REMEMBER THE FIRST RULE OF AMBUSH?’
‘TAKE THE ENEMY BY SURPRISE, SIR!’
shouted out Snotface Snotlout, a tall, unpleasantly
smug-looking boy with gigantic nostrils and the
beginnings of a small moustache.
‘Very good, Snotlout,’ purred Gobber the
Belch, and he continued at full volume: ‘IN A FOG
THIS THICK YOUR VICTIM SHIP WILL NOT
HAVE A CHANCE OF SEEING YOU COMING!’
They can hear us, though, thought Hiccup
Horrendous Haddock the Third, gloomily trying to
peer through the fog, unless, of course, we have the luck
to stumble across some completely deaf Peaceable
fishermen…
16
Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third is,
rather surprisingly, the Hero of this story. I s
ay
surprisingly, because the first thing you noticed about
Hiccup was how very, very ordinary he was. He was on
the small side, with a slightly freckled, absolutely
average face that would always get overlooked in a
crowd.
His dragon, Toothless, who was at that moment
asleep down the front of Hiccup’s shirt, was just as
average as his owner. The only truly remarkable thing
about Toothless was how remarkably small he was. He
was at least half the size of the other
boys’ dragons.
And, as you can
imagine, this wasn’t
something to boast
about.
Gobber’s shouting
woke the little dragon up.
He poked his nose out of the
neck of Hiccup’s tunic. ‘W-w-
what’s happening?’ he asked sleepily
in Dragonese.*
* Dragons spoke Dragonese. Only Hiccup could understand this
fascinating language.
18
‘Oh, nothing unusual,’ Hiccup whispered back,
scratching Toothless behind the horns. (He loved
that.) ‘Gobber is shouting, Snotlout is showing off, and
we’re all out here floating in the fog and the cold
when we could be tucked up in front of a roasting
fire… you can go back to sleep if you like.’
Toothless chuckled. ‘You V-v-vikings are as m-
m-mad as mackerel,’ he said. ‘W-w-wake Toothless up
when it’s l-l-lunchtime…’ And he burrowed back
down to the nice warm spot just next to Hiccup’s left
armpit and closed his eyes again.
Hiccup was sharing his boat with his
best friend Fishlegs, who was even skinnier
than Hiccup and looked a lot like a daddy-
long-legs with asthma and a squint.
Fishlegs put his hand up in the air.
‘It’s all very well that they can’t
see us coming, sir,’ he pointed out
logically, ‘but how are we going to see
them so we can board them in the first
place?’
‘Easy-peasy, o plankton-brain,’
boomed Gobber, very pleased with himself. ‘Peaceable
fishing boats are always followed by flocks of Lesser
19
Blackbacked Seadragons, hoping for a bite. All you
have to do is follow the racket they make and you’ll
have found yourself a boat. You then simply board the
boat yelling the Hooligan War Cry: repeat after me…
YAAAAAAAAAH!’ yelled Gobber the Belch.
‘YAAAAAAAAAH!’ yelled ten of the boys
back at him, brandishing their swords like maniacs.
‘Yaaaaah,’ repeated Hiccup and Fishlegs,
without much enthusiasm.
20
‘The Peaceables are terrified of us Hooligans,
Woden only knows why… Right, lads – you steal one
of their helmets to prove you have completed the
exercise, and report back to me. THIS IS GOING TO
BE LIKE BURGLING BERRIES FROM A BABY!’
boomed Gobber the Belch.
‘Oh, I nearly forgot. Silly me… ’ Gobber
laughed carelessly. ‘The one thing you do have to bear
in mind is that ON NO ACCOUNT SHOULD YOU
LEAVE THIS BAY. This is VERY IMPORTANT
because just to the south of here runs the Summer
Current, a warm stream of water, and you all know
what lives in the Summer Current…’
‘Sharkworms,’ gulped Fishlegs.
‘That’s right, Fishlegs,’ boomed Gobber. ‘I
know Hiccup, our natural history expert, can tell us
something about Sharkworms.’
‘Certainly sir,’ replied Hiccup, delighted to be
asked a question about his favourite subject, dragons.
He took out of his pocket a small scruffy notebook
with How to Speak Dragonese written in large scrawly
letters on the front. In this book Hiccup kept notes on
the Dragonese language and descriptions of the
various species of dragons and their habits.
21
‘Well,’ said Hiccup, having trouble reading his
own handwriting, ‘Sharkworms are a kind of dragon
that look a lot like sharks. The adults can grow to
about six metres in length, they have at least five rows
of teeth—’
‘GET ON WITH IT, BOY!’ yelled Gobber.
‘They are highly carnivorous and they not only
scavenge off ships but climb aboard and attack you
there… On land they can easily outrun a man… I
would suggest, sir, that if there was even a chance we
could run into Sharkworms we should leave the area
immediately.’
‘For Thor’s sake, boy,’ grinned Gobber the
Belch, ‘with that kind of attitude you might never leave
the house. I’m training you to be pirates, not softies.’
‘What happens if we get lost, sir?’ pleaded
Fishlegs.
‘Lost?’ snorted Gobber. ‘LOST! Vikings don’t
get LOST!’
‘Honestly, sir,’ sneered Snotface Snotlout, ‘I
don’t know why you don’t throw Hiccup the Useless
and his fishlegged failure of a friend out of the Tribe
completely. They’re a disgrace to all of us.’
Hiccup and Fishlegs looked miserable.
22
‘I mean look at their boat, sir,’ continued the
sneering Snotlout. ‘We’re Vikings, sir, the greatest
shipbuilders the Ancient World has ever known, sir. A
raft like that just makes us look ridiculous.’
‘You think you’re so clever, Snotlout,’ retorted
Hiccup determinedly, ‘but this boat can go a lot faster
than you think. Looks aren’t everything, you know…’
Unfortunately, Snotlout had a point.
The Hopeful Puffin was more of a floating
accident than an actual boat.
She had been built by Hiccup and Fishlegs in
Shipbuilding lessons, and they were both hopeless at
woodwork. Something kept on going wrong with the
design and instead of being long and thin like a Viking
ship should be, she had ended up fat and almost
completely round. Her mast was too long and leaned
lopsidedly to the left, so that in a strong wind she went
round in circles.
She also had a leak.
Every half an hour Fishlegs or Hiccup had to
remember to bail out the seawater that had collected in
the bottom of the boat with Hiccup’s helmet (Fishlegs’s
helmet also had a leak).
Gobber the Belch looked at The Hopeful Puffin.
23
‘Mmm,’ said Gobber thoughtfully. ‘You might
have a point, Snotlout. NOW!’ he continued briskly.
‘At the sound of my horn, the exercise will
begin.’
He raised a curly-wurly bugle to his lips.
‘Ooooh, jumping jellyfish,’ moaned Fishlegs, ‘I
HATE the Pirate Training Programme! We’re going to
get lost… we’re going to sink… we’re going to get
eaten slowly by Sharkworms…’
‘S-C-R-E-E-E-ECH!’ screamed the bugle.
24
25
2. SHARKWORMS
Just as the sound of the bugle died away, the fog
lifted, for
a second giving a glimpse of the entire bay.
Over to the right, further towards the grey outline of
the Peaceable Country, there were the shadowy shapes
of four or five Peaceable fishing boats, surrounded by
clouds of screeching Blackbacked Seadragons.
‘Over there!’ yelled Sharpknife and Tuffnut
Junior, turning their boat, The Raven.
‘It’s all under control, Fishlegs!’ shouted
Hiccup excitedly. ‘I can see where we’re going!’
Hiccup yanked the rudder of The Hopeful Puffin so
sharply that Fishlegs lost his balance and fell face first
into the water at the bottom of the boat.
The wind caught the sails at exactly the right
speed and The Hopeful Puffin surged forward after
the others… But Hiccup hadn’t noticed Snotlout’s
boat, Sparrowhawk, steaming up behind him at great
speed.
Sparrowhawk was as lean and mean and hungry
as Snotlout himself. Beautifully built out of elm wood,
she came to a point so sharp at the prow that she
sliced through the water as easily as an axe through a
26
scallop. She was being
steered by Dogsbreath
the Duhbrain, Snotlout’s
best friend – a great, hairy
bully of a boy with a ring
through his nose, who was
snorting so hard with laughter that
snot flew in all directions.
‘Get him, Fireworm,’ whispered Snotface
Snotlout, and his dragon, a glistening blood-red
Monstrous Nightmare, leaped from Snotlout’s
shoulder and dive-bombed Hiccup
from behind with a furious
shriek.
Fireworm swooped
down and pushed
Hiccup’s helmet down
over his eyes with her
talons. Hiccup took his
hands off the rudder in
surprise, and at the same
moment, Sparrowhawk
rammed into the port
27
side of The Hopeful Puffin, denting her severely.
‘So sorry, Useless!’ jeered Snotface Snotlout,
How to Train Your Dragon: How to Speak Dragonese Page 1
