seemed to give him some relief, but judging from his
restless wriggling and scratching he was still in
considerable discomfort.
He was eating a light snack of double
reptoburger with tomato-and-dormouse relish and
popdragons on the side.
Alvin the Treacherous sat beside him in the
Pavilion. In time to another trumpet fanfare two slaves
brought in the Ceremonial Shield of the Legion,
gorgeously decorated with a golden eagle carrying a
fish. Alvin the Treacherous banged the Ceremonial
Shield three times with his hook.
‘I officially declare these Saturn’s day
Saturday Games OPEN,’ shouted Alvin the
Treacherous. ‘Friends and fellow Romans…Watch
our Circus and marvel at the glory of the Roman
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Empire! Your entertainment this afternoon is
called THE SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST…’
The audience clapped wildly.
Three hundred beautiful doves, dyed every colour of
the rainbow, were released into the arena. The doves
fluttered through the stadium, cooing to each other.
Suddenly, the barred gates opened and the
coos of the doves turned to cries of alarm. To the
cheers and catcalls of the audience, fifty little
Sidewinder dragons came slithering through the dust
into the arena, their greengage eyes glistening greedily.
The Sidewinders were not large but they were
vicious pack hunters. They were also chameleons.
Every one of them was exactly the colour of the dust
they were lying in.
The doves desperately threw themselves against
the metal nets covering the amphitheatre but there
was no escape for them.
The Sidewinders crept into the air like an army
of cats stalking sparrows. As they rose up they
gradually turned as pale blue as the sky above them,
and the doves flew desperately hither and thither in
confusion, until the leader of the Sidewinders gave the
signal to attack.
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Less than sixty seconds later the air was filled
with blood and multi-coloured feathers and there was
not a dove left alive in that stadium.
The Sidewinders celebrated by turning the
colour of the dove they had just eaten. They made a
glorious multi-coloured sight, swooping and shrieking
through the air in victory rolls, singing a song of praise
and thanks for the meal they had been given.
And then the barred gates opened again, the
Song of the Sidewinders stopped abruptly and they
instantly turned the colour of the sky again. Now it
was they who were throwing themselves at the metal
nets above them and finding they were trapped.
For creeping into the arena came twenty
heavily armoured black Flashfangs, their razor-sharp
teeth glistening in the sunshine, their talons making
slashing patterns in the dust. The audience laughed
cruelly at the fear of the Sidewinders, who seconds
ago were the hunters and had now become the prey.
From his barred window high up in the Tower,
Hiccup could watch no longer. He knew that a
Sidewinder was no match for a Flashfang. He stepped
away from the window with a heavy sigh.
Toothless had taken one look at the Flashfangs
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and was now hiding in Hiccup’s shirt.
The door of their prison cell opened with a
crash. The First Kidnapper stepped in, followed by
twenty heavily armed soldiers.
‘Is the timings for your big day in the Circus,’
beamed the First Kidnapper.
‘Here goes…’ said Camicazi grimly. ‘Let us
face certain death like HEROES.’
‘It isn’t certain death,’ protested Hiccup. ‘Don’t
forget my plan…’
‘Would that be the plan where we get rescued
at the last minute by a dragon the size of an amoeba?’
asked Fishlegs.
The soldiers led the boys down from the Tower,
across several courtyards and then down many long
flights of steps so slippery Hiccup fell and grazed his
calf. The steps ended in an underground chamber,
where a Viking boat was tethered on the ground. On
one side of the boat was painted its name: The
Valhalla Express.
The chamber was beginning to fill with water –
a dam in one of the chamber walls was open, and
seawater was flooding in.
‘Please to jump in,’ grinned the First Kidnapper.
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Camicazi was astonished. ‘Are they setting us
free, do you think?’ she asked Hiccup.
‘No chance,’ replied Hiccup grimly. ‘Look,
they’ve half opened the gates of the dam… They think
the ground isn’t suitable for fighting on, like I said last
night, so they’re flooding the stadium. I thought they
might do this… We’re going to be part of a Sea-Battle
for the entertainment of those Romans.’
‘What about the F-F-Flashfangs?’ asked
Toothless from somewhere inside Hiccup’s shirt.
‘The water will kill the Flashfangs,’ said
Hiccup. ‘Flashfangs can’t swim… So who will WE be
fighting, then? I suppose they’ll put in a boat full of
Roman gladiators – I’ve heard about these Sea-
Battles.’
The First Kidnapper laughed. ‘Waitings and
seeings,’ he said. The three Vikings and Toothless were
now all aboard, the underground chamber was half
full with water and the boat was bobbing clear of the
ground. The Kidnapper gave them a cheery wave
goodbye and cut the rope that moored The Valhalla
Express to the dock.
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18. THE VALHALLA EXPRESS
The Valhalla Express shot off down the tunnel, carried
by the strong current of water.
The tunnel ended in a gate that led into the
stadium. The gate was open and The Valhalla Express
sailed into the central arena, now filled with three
metres of water. Massive cheers rocked the stadium.
‘FRIENDS AND FELLOW ROMANS!’ yelled
Alvin the Treacherous from the Consul’s Pavilion. ‘I
GIVE YOU THE VALHALLA EXPRESS, THE
HEIRS OF THE LOCAL VIKING TRIBES, AND
THEIR PATHETIC CHAMPION DRAGON,
TOOTHLESS, WHO WILL FOREVER REGRET
THE POO HE DID IN MY HELMET.’
Always delighted to be the centre of attention,
Toothless crept out from Hiccup’s shirt. He bowed
from side to side and performed a couple of
somersaults to huge cheering from the crowd. He had
no idea they were laughing at how small he was, and
he puffed out his little chest and threw out a few
flames and his rooster cry of self-congratulation.
‘Now why,’ said Hiccup, frowning to himself as he
trailed one hand in the water, ‘why is this water so warm?
I suppose it’s from the Consul’s swimming pool…’
181
Camicazi drew her sword, Invincible, with a
flourish. ‘LAUGH at us, would you, you Latin
cowards?’
she cried. ‘Come down here if you dare and
we’ll see who’s laughing then, shall we, you dragon-
eating, lily-livered BABIES…’
The crowd positively SCREAMED with
laughter at this. ‘Look!’ they cried, slapping each
other on the back and sending their dragons’-toes
popcorn flying. ‘It’s a little GIRL Viking! The
Vikings are so weak they have GIRLS for Heirs!
This is too funny for words…’
Camicazi couldn’t understand Latin but she
could guess what they were saying. She turned as red
as a lobster and yelled at the top of her voice ‘I’LL
KILL THE LOT OF YOU! I’LL UNZIP YOU
FROM YOUR BREADBASKETS TO YOUR
FOOD-GARGLERS! COME DOWN AND SEE
HOW A GIRL FIGHTS IF YOU DARE!’
The crowd only laughed the louder.
‘Let’s get on with it, Alvin!’ Hiccup called
out. ‘Bring out your gladiators and we’ll do our
best!’
‘Yes, do get on with it, Prefect,’ yawned the
Fat Consul. ‘I want to see the little Berserk go
Berserk… and this famous warrior in action…’
182
‘HICCUP HORRENDOUS HADDOCK THE
THIRD!’ shouted Alvin. ‘PREPARE TO MEET YOUR
DOOM! SOLDIERS, OPEN THE TUNNEL!’
With a creak the portcullis covering a tunnel to
their left began to slide upward…
183
19.
AAAAAAARGH!
The tunnel was open, but
there was no sign of any Roman
ships packed with heavily armed
gladiators.
‘What’s going on?’ shrieked Fishlegs. ‘Where
are the gladiators?’
Hiccup was staring intently at the tunnel.
There still seemed to be nothing going on down
there. All that came out of it were four long, dark
waves – no more threatening than ripples, really.
The ripples curled sinuously into the stadium.
Slowly, languorously, they began to circle the ship.
That’s strange, thought Hiccup, and just as he
was staring closely at one of the dark ripples,
something neat and sharp cut through the surface of
the water…
It was a black fin, with serrated edges like a
bread-knife.
‘SHARKWORMS!!!’ yelled Fishlegs.
‘I knew it! I just knew it! I knew we were going to
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bump into those
monsters at some
point…’
‘YOU SEE,
WE HAVEN’T GOT
GLADIATORS FOR YOU
TODAY,’ Alvin shouted down,
from the safety of his balcony. ‘YOU
ARE KNOWN IN THESE PARTS,
HICCUP, AS SOMETHING OF
A DRAGON-TRAINER – LET’S
SEE HOW YOU DO AT
TRAINING THESE LITTLE
BEAUTIES…’
‘Is this part of your plan?’ asked Camicazi
hopefully.
‘Not exactly,’
admitted Hiccup. ‘I
was expecting
gladiators – it is a
gladiator show, after all…’
‘Can you TRAIN
them?’ asked
Camicazi.
‘What, in the next
sixty seconds?’
asked
Hiccup.
‘Not
likely. Besides,
Sharkworms are
untrainable. The important
point is – has anybody got a
cut?’
‘You have,’ Fishlegs pointed
out. ‘You fell over on the steps,
remember?’
‘Great,’ said Hiccup, glancing at the long
graze on his shin. ‘Our lucky day. So, there’s only
one thing to do. Nobody panic and I’ll call for…
ZIGGERASTICA! ’
186
Nothing happened.
The ripples had now turned into four
Sharkworm fins, and they were circling nearer and
nearer, closing in on the boat.
‘ZIGGERASTICA!’ screamed the Vikings all
at once.
There was a streak of black and red and the
tiny nanodragon appeared out of nowhere and
landed on Camicazi’s head.
‘You called?’ said Ziggerastica.
‘About time too!’ said Hiccup.
‘How is the plan going?’
‘It’s a terrible plan,’ said
Ziggerastica, ‘but so far the
plan is going to plan,
so to speak…’
‘Everybody else, leave me!’ urged Hiccup. ‘Roll me
into that barrel over there and throw me over the
side!’
‘What about the plan?’ asked Fishlegs.
‘This is the
plan,’ Hiccup
replied.
‘Oh I
see,’ said
Fishlegs. ‘When
you said “desperate plan” you
meant really desperate…’
‘That barrel won’t protect you from the
Sharkworms!’ protested Camicazi.
‘Will you stop arguing and just do what I
ask?’ raged Hiccup. ‘We’re running out of time –
those Sharkworms are going to climb on board any
minute! It’s me and my cut that they’re really
after…’
The Sharkworms were indeed circling the
boat in tighter and tighter circles. Fishlegs could
have reached out and touched one of the fins.
Fishlegs and Camicazi stuffed Hiccup into
the barrel and Ziggerastica flew in with him.
They then hesitated.
‘Are you quite sure you want us to throw you
over the side?’ asked Fishlegs, looking in absolute
terror at the fins
slicing through the
water.
‘Quite
sure,’ came
Hiccup’s voice from
the barrel, rather muffled.
‘With the Sharkworms?’ asked Camicazi.
‘Just do it, will you!’ yelled Hiccup.
Camicazi and Fishlegs reluctantly rolled the
barrel over to the edge of the boat, heaved it up
between them and dropped it over the side to the
189
gasps of the watching audience.
‘BRAVO!’ the spectators cried, for the
Romans admired bravery, even in a barbarian.
‘It’s such a shame,’ whispered Camicazi. ‘He
was quite nice – for a boy, of course…’
The barrel bobbed merrily in the water.
Almost instantly the Sharkworms stopped
following the boat and turned their attentions to the
barrel. To start with they circled it in a leisurely way,
almost as if they were sniffing it out. And then they
began to move faster and faster around it, coming in
closer and closer with more and more intent…
‘Oh, H-H-HICCUP,’ moaned Toothless,
fluttering overhead with his wings over his eyes. ‘I
hope this is a really good plan…’
Inside the barrel Hiccup was hoping the very
same thing. He was sitting up to his waist in water,
unable to see out of the wooden walls of the barrel.
The water was vibrating and the barrel was rocking
from the wake of the Sharkworms’ tails as they
passed it.
He was regretting
this stupid plan already. He
couldn’t see or hear anything but the horribly fast
beating of his heart. And then the water in his barrel
began to vibrate.
190
That’s the sound of the Sharkworms calling to
each other, thought Hiccup to himself, shivering
uncontrollably.
The barrel rocked crazily from side to side
and Hiccup put both hands out to try to right it,
frantically trying to see where the danger was
coming from.
191
That must be the wake from the Sharkworms’
tails as they pass, he thought to himself, almost
hysterical with fear.
The barrel spun around again, more violently this
time. Hiccup was sent somersaulting upside down and
rolling over and over.
Watching from above, their hands over their
mouths, Camicazi and Fishlegs could see the
Sharkworms playing with the barrel almost as if they
were gigantic cats playing with a mouse. Toothless was
dive-bombing them, trying to attract their attention,
but they took no notice.
They batted the barrel to each other with the
wakes from their tails, but they hadn’t touched it yet.
Suddenly they withdrew and reformed in a
slightly wider circle.
Inside the barrel Hiccup rose spluttering to the
surface. The barrel stopped spinning and there was
quiet again, apart from the lapping of the water against
the sides. Hiccup knew his dragons, he knew that they
would only have retreated to strike now in earnest.
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He had to fight the urge to burst out of the
barrel and swim for the boat.
He knew if he did this he was as good as dead.
But it was so scary not to be able to see what
was going on, and so hard to stay completely still when
he knew the beasts were all around him, could be
underneath him, could be just a metre away, could
strike suddenly at any moment from any direction…
The left-hand side of the barrel caved in as some
immense force crashed into it. The wood just about
held from splitting in half. Hiccup caught a glimpse
of terrible black teeth no distance away from his
nose before they retreated.
How to Train Your Dragon: How to Speak Dragonese Page 10
