by Nikki Ash
“And who do we have here?” His grandmother turns to face Tristan and me.
“This is Ashley Myers and her son, Tristan.” Kaden puts his hand in mine, putting on a show for his family.
“Ashley, Tristan, these are my grandparents, Rose and Victor.”
“Oh, sweetie. You are gorgeous. And hello there, Tristan. It’s wonderful to meet you both. Let’s go to dinner and get to know each other. Shall we?” Kaden’s grandmother says, heading back towards the foyer.
“Sounds good, my love,” his grandfather says, following his wife. Their love is adorable.
“Ready?” Kaden asks.
“Yep, let’s do this.” Then it hits me. Kaden is going to announce we are engaged and we haven’t told Tristan! He is going to be so confused. I didn’t even think about him in all this. What kind of mother am I?
“We need to explain this to Tristan!” I say whisper-yell after Tristan jumps in to the Audi. “We didn’t think about him at all, in this. He is going to think we are getting married for real. I can’t have him get hurt.”
“No, you’re right,” Kaden says. We get into the car and Kaden turns around to face Tristan. “Hey, Bud. When you are in school, do you ever play make believe?”
“Yeah,” Tristan says.
“While we are here, your mom and I are going to play make believe. We are going to pretend to be engaged to be married. So, if you hear the grownups talking about it, it’s just pretend. Ok?”
Tristan looks at us both skeptically. “Ok, but why can’t you get married for real?”
His question stumps us both. Kaden says, “Umm… Well…The thing is…”
I jump in to help him out. “Kaden is my best friend.”
“So, you can’t marry your best friend?” Tristan asks. Damn kid!
“Well, I guess you could,” Kaden says slowly. “But your mom and I aren’t that kind of friends. She’s my friend like how you and Bella are friends. My grandmother is really old and she wants to see me get married so we are going to play pretend to make her happy.”
“Well… When I get older, if Bella is still my best friend I would want to marry her for real and not for pretend.”
“You would?” I ask.
“Yeah, she’s really nice and always spars with me in class. She always shares her Oreos with me and plays UFC with me. She’s good at fighting, too. And she’s not all girly like the other girls in my class. And if I marry her, I could play with her whenever I want.”
Kaden looks at me with a smile in his eyes, clearly trying to hold back his laughter. What I would give to be able to live my life through the eyes of an innocent six-year old.
“That’s very nice of Bella,” I say. “But Kaden and I are just going to be friends.”
Tristan thinks for a moment as we both hold our breath. “Ok, but if you do want to get married for real that’s ok, too,” he says grabbing his iPad ending the conversation.
We both turn around in our seats knowing my six-year old is probably the most logical one in the car.
We have been in Colorado for the last five days and we have all had a blast. Giselle and I had our spa day, one I will never forget. I am considering taking some of Kaden’s inheritance just so I can go to the spa on a weekly basis, after I pay off all my debt of course. The Swedish massage was one I have never experienced in my life, and the spa pedicure… holy moly! I almost passed out from feeling so stress-free. We had lunch in the club afterward and she introduced me to all her friends.
The next day, Tristan, Kaden, and I went horseback riding through the trails with Giselle. I rode behind Kaden and Tristan rode in front of Giselle. Tristan started begging me to buy him a horse, but Kaden promised him we would come back and visit. Giselle, then recommended to Kaden that he should build a barn on his property and purchase a horse. He laughed her off, but it reminded me how different we really are. I am stripping to make a living while Kaden comes from a wealthy home with horses that are worth more than I make in a year.
Kaden’s parents and grandparents are beyond sweet and have welcomed Tristan and me with open arms. There hasn’t been any talk about us being engaged, for that I am thankful, but I know it will come out before we leave.
“Hey, Ash,” Kaden says as he walks into our room. Tristan has his own room next to us with his own bathroom. I tried to insist we have separate rooms but Kaden said they only have two guestrooms right now because the third is filled with stuff they are donating.
“Yeah?” I ask putting my iPad down. I’m not even concentrating on the book I am reading anyway.
“I am going to go meet my grandmother for brunch. When I get back, want to head into town? Go do something fun with Tristan?”
“Sure.”
Kaden leans down, giving me a kiss on my nose, then one to my forehead. “I am really glad you and Tristan came with me.”
“Me, too. We have had a lot of fun.”
“I’ll text you when I am on my way back.”
“Ok.”
After Kaden leaves, I go in search of Tristan and find him in the back of the house throwing stones into the pond. Kaden taught Tristan how to skip rocks last night after dinner and he has become obsessed with seeing how many times he can get his rock to skip.
“Hey sweetie. Want to go to the pool with me after I make us breakfast?”
“Yes!” he yells, throwing one last rock. It skips along the pond three times before disappearing into the water.
“Good job!”
“Kaden can make it skip like six times.”
“It takes practice.”
With our bathing suits on, Tristan and I jump into the golf cart and head to the club. We park in the designated parking for members and go straight to the pool. Kaden’s parents added us to their membership as family, so we can utilize the club while we are here.
As we are walking to the back, I spot Kaden and his grandmother and decide to stop and say hello; I didn’t realize they were having brunch at the club. Before I get to them, a beautiful Hispanic woman who looks to be accompanied by her parents, taps Kaden on the shoulder. He stands up, smiling, and gives her a hug and kiss on the cheek. My heart stills. It’s probably just an old friend but then I think, what if it’s Gabby, the name he has inked on him? His grandmother stands up next, hugging each of them. I watch them all for a moment before thinking it would be best not to intrude.
“Mom, there’s Kaden,” Tristan says a little too loud before I can get us out of the room. Kaden looks over his shoulder hearing his name. His beautiful happy face morphs into one that could be construed as guilt. I immediately turn to go to the pool, feeling like an intruder.
Only Rose isn’t having it. “Ashley, Tristan, come here you two.”
“I would like for you to meet Juan and Margarita Nievez, and their daughter, Danielle. This is Kaden’s fiancée Ashley, and her son Tristan.”
I guess Kaden told her the news.
Mr. and Mrs. Nievez both look shocked and if I’m not mistaken, sad, at the mention of me being his fiancée but both quickly smile. Danielle, on the other hand, doesn’t even try to hide how upset this makes her. Tears well up in her eyes, and she quickly excuses herself.
“I should go find my daughter but it was nice to meet you. I am glad Kaden has found someone and was able to move on. He deserves to be happy,” Mrs. Nievez says before excusing herself to go after her daughter.
Mr. Nievez watches her walk away, then says, “I agree. I am glad you have moved on, Kaden.” Then he turns to me. “It was lovely to meet you.”
After he walks away, we all stand there in silence until Rose speaks up. “Kaden… Please tell me Ashley knows about Gabrielle and Gab…”
“No, she doesn’t,” Kaden says cutting her off.
“Oh, sweetheart. Why wouldn’t you tell her?”
Kaden doesn’t say anything, just shakes his head.
“Why are you guys here?” Kaden asks me, sounding cold. Kaden, no matter how mad he gets, is never cold with me.
“We were going to the pool. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.” There’s so many questions I have, but I know now is not the time to ask them and I’m a bit pissed at the way Kaden just spoke to me. I don’t know what is going on but I didn’t ask to be brought here nor did I ask for this fake engagement. This was all him, so he better figure his shit out.
“That’s ok, dear,” Rose says. “Kaden and I were just finishing up our brunch. I am going to have my driver take me home. I am feeling a bit tired. Kaden, you should join them in the pool.”
“Yeah, Kaden! Will you come swimming with us, please? You know my mom never gets in unless you throw her in.” Tristan bounces up and down completely oblivious to the adult tension in the air.
“Sure, bud. Let me walk my grandmother out, and then I will meet you guys at the pool.”
“Ok, bye grannie,” Tristan says. She smiles at his name for her. The first time he called her that, I tried to correct him but she just chuckled and said she loved it.
Chapter Ten
Kaden
My past and my present are colliding and the guilt that’s eating away at me is causing bile to rise into my throat. I never imagined in a million years, Ashley and Tristan would be meeting Gabrielle’s parents and twin sister, which is stupid seeing as we are all members at the same damn club. I clearly didn’t think any of this out properly.
When my grandmother introduced Ashley as my fiancée to Danielle and her parents I felt like a piece-of-shit. I wanted to warn them but I didn’t have time. Watching Danielle run away, I wanted to chase after her, to explain to her that it’s not real. To tell her it’s pretend. I didn’t want her thinking I would ever hurt her sister like that.
The look Ashley gave me was one that said she knew something was up. I have managed to keep my past separate from my life but I am going to have to explain it to her. I owe her that much.
“Why wouldn’t you tell that sweet girl about your wife?” my grandmother asks while we wait for her driver to pull up.
“I haven’t told anyone.”
“Oh dear! Does she know about your son?”
“No, nobody knows anything.”
“She’s not your dirty secret, Kaden. What happened was horrible. It was a horrific tragedy but that doesn’t mean you pretend it didn’t happen.”
“I’m not pretending it didn’t happen. I live with the guilt of what happened every damn day, Grandmother.”
“Kaden…” my grandmother takes my hand in hers, giving me a look of sympathy. “It’s ok to move on. It’s ok to remember your past and still embrace your present, as well as look forward to the future.”
When I don’t say anything, she takes a box out of her purse. “This is my engagement ring your grandfather bought me. I want you to have it to give to Ashley.”
Taking the box from her, I open it up to find a beautiful vintage looking diamond ring in a simple platinum band. In the center is a large circle diamond and accented on each side are several single cut round diamonds. There are six in total, three on each side. I remember my grandmother wearing this ring years ago. I look down on her hand and see a simple platinum band.
“Why are you giving me this?”
“I am getting older, Kaden. I haven’t worn the ring in many years. I can see the way you love Ashley and her son, and it makes me so happy. I want you to give it to Ashley. I would be honored for her to wear the ring your grandfather gave me sixty-two years ago on my eighteenth birthday.”
“The way I love her?” I ask. I know I love Ashley but she can see it as well?
“The way you look at her like she’s the only person in the room. And the way you treat her son like he’s your own. It’s beautiful to watch. I can’t wait for the wedding. I hope you will consider having it here, so I can attend. I’m not sure I will be able to handle flying. I’m not the young woman I once was.”
“Of course, we will have the wedding here.” I give her a kiss on her cheek, helping her into the car. Then I jump into my rental and head to the first place that comes into mind. My brain is foggy and my heart is pounding. I know I love Ashley, I have always known it, but I have refused to accept or acknowledge it because loving Ashley would mean replacing my wife with her and I can’t do that.
“She’s not here,” Margarita says when she opens the door. “Why don’t you come in?”
“Thanks, I just wanted to apologize. There’s something you guys need to know. I should have warned you. I didn’t think my visit through and how it would affect you and your husband… and Danielle.”
We sit down on the couch, Juan joining us. “Kaden, you don’t have to feel bad for moving on.”
“That’s just it, I didn’t. I wouldn’t do that to Gabrielle. My grandmother is getting older and my grandfather asked for me to marry to make her happy. It’s all fake. I would never marry again, I swear.”
I hear a gasp come from the side and turn to see Danielle standing in the doorway. “What do you mean it’s fake? What is wrong with you?”
I am taken back by the tone of her voice. I thought this would make them all feel better. “Of course, it’s fake. I would never disrespect your sister by marrying again. I promised her forever. I promised to protect her. I messed it all up.”
“Oh no, Kaden.” Danielle comes to sit next to me on the couch, taking my hands in hers. “Sure, it hurts to see you move forward, knowing my sister never will, but don’t you ever for a second think anything that happened was your fault. You deserve to fall in love again. You deserve to be happy. You loved my sister with everything in you, but she’s not here. It’s ok to still love her and move on. It’s ok to love someone else.”
“But… I promised,” I say now crying. “I promised to love her for my entire life.”
I feel a hand on my shoulder, Margarita turns me around, wrapping me into a motherly embrace. “But your life isn’t over, Kaden, and you are still so young. Please, don’t you ever push love away. My daughter would never want you to live alone.”
“Do you love her, Kaden?” Juan asks. “Do you love Ashley?”
I don’t even have to think about it for a second. “Yes, I do. I love her so damn much. It’s just…”
“No,” he cuts me off. “Don’t make up reasons why not to be with her, especially if you are going to place the blame on my daughter. It’s ok to love and I know my daughter would never want you to live alone and miserable.”
Danielle and Margarita both pull me into a hug. “You will always be family,” Danielle murmurs.
“We hope you will invite us to the wedding, Kaden. We would love to be there,” Margarita says.
“Thank you, guys. Thank you for everything.”
Once I am in my car I remember I was supposed to meet Ashely and Tristan at the pool. Fuck! I call Ashley and thankfully she answers on the first ring. “Everything ok?”
I take a calming breath finally feeling free from the guilt I’ve carried over these last several years.
“Yeah, it is. I am so sorry. Are you and Tristan still at the pool?”
“We are about to head back to your parents’ house now.”
“OK, please tell him I’m sorry. Can you get dressed when you get back? I need to take you somewhere. I will have my parents watch Tristan.”
The car ride is quiet. Ashley doesn’t try to initiate a conversation and I don’t either. I pull up to Fairmont Cemetery and can feel Ashley’s eyes on mine while I drive down the dirt road. I have only been here once, eleven years ago, but I could never forget my way to where we need to go.
I park on the side, then taking Ashley’s hand we walk to our destination. When we stop in front of the two headstones Ashley reads aloud, “Gabrielle Scott.” She gasps, her hand going to her mouth then turns to me.
“Your tattoo. This is Gabby.” Then she looks at the headstone to the left. “Gabriel Scott,” she read aloud again. When she doesn’t say anything, I know she is trying to put it all together. The birth and death date on Gabriel’s
plot are both the same. I can feel my heart constricting. I thought I could keep it all together but being here for the first time in years is harder than I thought it would be.
Ashley’s hand squeezes mine when she finally puts it altogether. Then she releases my hand to hug me. “I’m so sorry, Kaden, for your loss.” She has tears in her eyes but they aren’t the pity look I always pictured. They are full of sadness and love. My eyes burn with unshed tears and my throat feels like I swallowed a baseball. I hold Ashley for a few minutes while I try to get myself together.
“Let’s have a seat. I need to tell you what happened. Why I am the way I am.”
We sit down in the grass in front of the two most important people of my past.
“Left jab…Right jab… Block… Block… Block!”
“I am blocking!”
“You aren’t fucking blocking and if you keep blocking like that you are going to get your ribs smashed in at the tournament this weekend.”
I hear my phone ring and run over to it. I don’t normally keep my phone on me while I am teaching an MMA class but these days I have a good reason to keep it on me and everyone understands. I look at the screen and grin at the picture staring back at me of the most beautiful woman in the world.
“Hey Gabby, is everything ok?”
“Yes, but it’s time.”
“It’s time for…?”
“Kaden! It’s time to have this baby!” She giggles into the phone and it makes me grin harder. I know what she means but I like to mess with her.
“I am on my way home to get you.”
“Maybe we should meet at the hospital…”
“No way, Gabs, you are not driving while in labor. I will be right there.”
“Ok, mi amor. I will see you soon.”
I hang up the call and grab my gym bag from the side of mat.
