by Linda Turner
"But I explained that! I was scared. But now that I've had time to put things into perspective, I know I really do love you."
"Oh, really? So this rush to marry me has nothing to do with the fact that someone else wants me?"
He bristled at that. "You've been listening to Nick again. That's why you really don't want to get married, isn't it? He's turned you against me."
Amazed at the way he refused to take any blame for his own actions, Merry could only marvel at his reasoning. Had he always been like this and she just hadn't noticed, or was this some new kind of defense mechanism he'd developed in order to cope with jilting her? "You know, I never thought I'd say this, but you really did me a favor that day you left me high and dry at the church. I don't love you, Thomas."
"Don't say that! Nick—"
"No," she cut in sternly, "this has nothing to do with Nick. It never has. You're the one responsible for this. You're the one who showed me a side of yourself I'd never seen before, then gave me too much time alone to think. If you'd really cared about me, you would have at least considered what I was going through and called to make sure I was all right."
"I wanted to," he claimed, panicking as he sensed he was quickly losing her. "I thought of you all the time."
"And I thought about you," she admitted. "I was forced to face the fact that you didn't want to marry me, and as the days passed, I had to wonder if you'd ever really loved me. And if I wasn't sure of your feelings, I also had to question my own. The more I thought about it, it seemed like the answer had to be obvious. We weren't really in love—we'd just become a comfortable habit over the years—"
"No!"
"Everyone always expected us to get married, and once you came back to town last year and we started seeing each other again, we just got caught up in everyone else's expectations. When it came down to actually going through with the wedding, though, you couldn't do it.
"I'm not casting blame here," she said quickly when he once again tried to explain that he'd been scared. "It doesn't matter anymore. What's important is that we both realize that there was a reason we didn't get married. Let's accept that, wish each other luck, and go on with our lives before we end up hating each other."
For a moment, she thought he was going to cry. Regret glistened in his eyes. "You're one of the best things that ever happened to me," he said huskily. "I don't want to lose you."
"You already have," she said quietly. "You just didn't know it."
* * *
The news hit the streets almost immediately. A nurse passing in the hospital hallway heard Merry McBride tell Thomas Cooper that she didn't love him anymore and was never going to marry him. Within an hour, everyone in town was discussing the end of what most people had thought was a fairy-tale romance.
Nick heard the news from four different sources, each one hoping to be the first to tell him, and not surprisingly, the story had been distorted every time it was passed on. In one, Merry slapped Thomas, in another, she dumped a vase full of flowers on his head. But one thing remained constant in all four versions of the tale: Merry no longer loved Thomas.
It was the best news Nick had heard in months.
Heading out of town to check reports of a car broken down on the side of the road that cut through the Hawk River Valley, he couldn't seem to stop smiling. She'd finally realized she didn't love Thomas. There'd been a time when he'd thought this day would never come. Thank God he'd been wrong!
A cautious man, he tried to remind himself that this might not mean anything. Just because she didn't love Thomas didn't mean that she was willing to let herself love him. After everything that she'd been through, no one would blame her if she was gun-shy. Especially when it came to getting involved with someone she considered a friend. She'd tried that with Thomas, only to have it blow up in her face. She wouldn't be the first woman to swear off men after that.
He knew that, accepted that, and still felt like he'd just won the lottery. He had a chance, dammit, and that was something he hadn't had since the day he'd planned to ask her to the junior prom in high school. Before he could so much as open his mouth, she'd confided that she was in love with Thomas. If he lived to be a hundred, he would never forget the dreamy smile on her face and the stars in her eyes for another man. Nothing had ever been the same since. Until today.
Anxious to see her, he almost called her just to see how she was doing. But now that she was a free woman and his to pursue, he didn't want to ruin things by rushing her too soon. He'd give her some space and let her call him when she wanted to talk.
Resigned to waiting, he entered the Hawk River Valley and looked ahead down the long stretch of road that cut right through the middle of the valley. There was no sign of the car that someone had reported broken down on the side of the highway, but a hundred yards ahead, he caught a glimpse of something moving in the high grass at the edge of the shoulder. Frowning, he checked his rearview mirror to make sure no other traffic was following him closely, then turned on the lights of his patrol car and began to slow down.
What he thought was a wounded animal turned out to be a litter of red, shaggy-haired puppies that someone had apparently dumped on the side of the road. Nick took one look at them and didn't know if he wanted to laugh or curse. They were fat and healthy and playful, stumbling over their own feet and each other as they wrestled together in the grass. They couldn't have been there long, but as far as Nick was concerned, that was beside the point. What kind of monster would abandon four innocent puppies on the side of the road with no food or water? If he could have gotten his hands on them, he would have run them in for animal cruelty.
The biggest of the lot spied him as he got out of his car and immediately tried to play watchdog. Planting himself in front of his brothers and sisters, he bristled, yapping and wagging his tail at one and the same time.
Chuckling, Nick squatted down in front of him and held out his hand so he could sniff his fingers. "You're doing a good job, big guy, but you don't have to be afraid of me. I won't hurt you."
The puppy, figuring that out for himself, whined and licked his fingers. The others, obviously taking that as a sign of approval, launched themselves at him, happy to have company in the big, bad, lonely world they'd suddenly found themselves in.
Laughing, Nick scooped them all up in his arms at once. "I know, I know. But it's going to be okay now. I know just the place to take you."
* * *
Merry fell in love with them at first sight. "Oh, Nick, they're beautiful! Where did you get them?"
"On the side of the road."
"On the side…" In the process of taking the squirming puppies out of his arms, she stopped with the little watchdog in her arms and looked up at him with wide, shocked eyes. "Someone dumped them?" When he nodded, she started to swear.
Not surprised by her outrage, he said, "I couldn't believe it, either. They were out on the Hawk River Valley road. You think someone from around here did it?"
She couldn't, of course, know every dog in the area, but she took care of a large percentage of them. And, better yet, she knew their owners. And no one she knew would have ever dreamed of leaving one-month-old pups out in the country to fend for themselves.
"I don't think so. Why would they? Everyone knows that all they have to do is drop them off here and I'll find them a good home. It was probably someone from Crystal Lake. It's just down the road from the valley." Nuzzling the one Nick had nicknamed Tiger, she laughed when he licked her on the cheek. "Whoever they are, they deserve to be strung up by their thumbs, but at least no harm was done. They're precious!"
Watching the laughter that transformed her face as she played with the puppies, Nick felt love tug sharply at his heartstrings. Lord, she was beautiful! Over the course of their friendship, he'd seen her every way a man could see a woman—with makeup and without, with a smile on her face when she should have been crying, sick, and on top of the world—but he'd never seen her look more gorgeous than she did at that mo
ment, with the puppies clamoring to get to her, delighting her.
"Have dinner with me tonight," he said impulsively, then wanted to kick himself. What the hell was he doing? He'd promised himself he was going to give her some time to adjust to the fact that she was a single, unattached woman again before he pushed her to get involved. She needed time, and so did he. Dean and George's last day had come and gone, and they'd left for their new jobs. Shorthanded until the two new men he'd hired reported for work next week, he was working double shifts with Harvey and spending just about every waking hour either at his office or in his patrol car. Considering all that, how could he possibly find time to date?
Just give me the chance, he thought, caressing her with his eyes. I'll find the time.
Surprised by the invitation, Merry glanced up from the puppies and almost said yes. And that shook her. She wasn't ready to date again. Not yet. Gossip about her and Thomas and Nick was already swirling around town, following her everywhere she went, and it was only going to get worse once she started dating again. Especially when people realized the new man in her life really was Nick. Just thinking about all the whispering and speculation, both behind her back and to her face, made her cringe.
But it was the thought of getting hurt again that scared her the most. She'd trusted Thomas and put her heart on the line without a thought, only to have him stomp on it and grind it into the ground. Nick wasn't like that, thank God—he was kind and caring and would cut off his right arm before he deliberately hurt her. She wanted to trust him, to see where a relationship between them might go, but sometimes people just got hurt, regardless of how careful they were. And that was something she never wanted to go through again.
"I want to," she said huskily, "but—"
"You're afraid," he guessed.
She nodded miserably, hating to disappoint him. "It's not you—you must know that. It's just such a big step and I don't know if I'm ready for that yet."
After everything she'd been through, Nick couldn't say he blamed her. Her trust in her own judgment had been destroyed, and that wasn't something she would rebuild easily. Still, in spite of that, he was far from discouraged. She wanted to go with him—that was a start. Now he just had to find a way to help her get past her fear.
"All right," he said. "Forget dinner. Let's try something else. What about the reunion?"
She didn't have to ask him which reunion. Signs announcing their fifteen year high school reunion had been posted all over town for weeks. A barbecue was scheduled, as well as a picnic so everyone could bring their families, but it was the big dance Saturday night in the high school gym that everyone was looking forward to. When she'd bought her tickets months ago, Merry had thought she'd be attending it with her new husband. Thomas would, no doubt, still attend, but not with her. Not in the party mood, she had, in fact, already decided not to go at all.
Wrinkling her nose, she said, "I don't think I'd be very good company, so I'll probably just stay home that night and watch TV."
"But you were really looking forward to this," he reminded her with a frown. "Jay Fischer's going to be there. And Betty Vaughn. They haven't been home in years. Don't you want to see them?"
Jay and Betty had both been on the debate team with her, and they'd been great friends all through high school. She kept up with them through e-mail and occasional phone calls, but that wasn't the same thing as meeting with them face-to-face. "Yes, of course," she began, "but—"
"Then go with me," he said quickly. "Not as a date, but a friend. Think about it. If you and Thomas had gotten married, the three of us would have gone together anyway. We can still go. Thomas just won't be with us."
Tempted, it was hard to argue with his logic. Especially when she really wanted to go. What harm could it do? she reasoned. They would just be going as friends—it wasn't as if they were dating or anything. And no one would be surprised to see them together—not when they'd been best buddies in high school. The questions would only begin if she didn't go with him.
"All right," she said, giving in. "As long as it's not a date."
Satisfied, he grinned, "It's not. I promise. I'll pick you up at seven."
* * *
Chapter 9
«^»
The week preceding the reunion was one of those crazy weeks when everything went wrong. First, one of the patrol cars broke down, then Sheri, Nick's dispatcher, had to take time off when two of her kids got into some poison ivy. An electrical storm blew the computer system at the same time it knocked out telephone and power lines all over the county, and the ten-hour days Nick and Harvey were working turned into fifteen-hour. It was a grueling schedule. Nick hardly saw Merry, and every time he tried to call her, all he got was static because of the downed lines.
Exhausted, he knew he should cancel his "nondate" with Merry. What time he had off right then was limited, and he needed to spend it catching up on his sleep, not dancing the night away with a beautiful woman. But what he needed and wanted were two different things, and there was no way in hell he was passing up a chance to spend an evening with Merry. He'd sleep later.
Counting the hours until he could pick her up, he had everything worked out for their first nondate. When Dean and George left, he'd started working from three in the afternoon until two in the morning, but he couldn't do that on Saturday, so Harvey had agreed to switch shifts with him. That meant he'd work his regular late shift Friday night, get off at three in the morning, grab an hour nap, then take Harvey's shift from four in the morning until three in the afternoon on Saturday. It would be a tough stretch, but he didn't expect the long hours to be a problem. He'd have the hour break between shifts, then time to catch a three-hour-nap Saturday before he had to pick up Merry at seven. That was enough sleep for anyone.
Friday afternoon, however, Nick discovered that even the best laid plans had a way of blowing up in your face. When Harvey showed up at his office an hour and a half after his shift ended at two, Nick didn't have to see the deep sorrow in his eyes to know that something was terribly wrong. "What is it?" he asked sharply. "What's wrong?"
"I just got word that my father had a heart attack. He's not expected to live. I've got to go, Nick."
"Of course you do. Oh, man, I'm sorry! I hope everything'll be all right." Frowning, he tried to recall what he knew about Harvey's dad other than he'd divorced his mother years ago and moved back east. "Your dad's in New York, isn't he?"
He nodded. "Yeah—Manhattan. I hate to abandon ship this way when you're shorthanded, but I don't know what else to do. He needs me—"
"Hey, don't worry about it," Nick said. "The new guys'll be in on Monday. I can handle things until then. In the meantime, you just worry about your dad and trying to get him well. When's your flight out? Can I drive you to the airport?"
Already in an emotional state, that just pushed Harvey over the edge. Tears flooded his eyes. "Thanks, Nick. You don't know how much I appreciate this."
"I've been through it, man," he said simply, understanding. And he knew from personal experience just how difficult it was to lose a parent. He'd lost both of his by the time he was twenty-five, and unlike Harvey, he hadn't had a chance to say goodbye. "Stay as long as you need to," he told him. "Work'll wait. Your father might not be able to."
Single, with no one but himself to take care of, Harvey was already packed and ready to go. Nick drove him to the airport in Colorado Springs so he wouldn't have to leave his car in long-term parking, then waited with him until his flight was called. It wasn't until he'd seen the younger man off and started back to Liberty Hill that he realized that with Harvey gone, there was no one to switch shifts with him tomorrow evening so he could take Merry to the reunion.
"Damn!" Pounding on the steering wheel with the heal of his hand, he couldn't see that he had any choice but to cancel their date. Most of the people of Liberty Hill were decent, law-abiding citizens, but they weren't all saints. He had to deal with domestic disputes and drunk drivers and an occasional shop
lifter. And on Saturday nights, especially during the summer when the teenagers were out of school and feeling their oats, it was important that he be out and about to discourage them from getting into trouble. And he couldn't do that if he was at the reunion dancing with Merry.
Resigned, he arrived back at his office in a foul mood, only to be greeted by Sheri the second he walked in the door. Hanging up the phone, she said, "Oh, good, there you are. Lincoln White is waiting to talk to you."
After a morning of disappointments, he didn't have to ask why White would be calling at this late stage when he was scheduled to start work on Monday. The answer was obvious. "Well, that's just great! He's decided he doesn't want the job, after all, hasn't he? I should have known. What else can go wrong? No, don't tell me—I don't want to know. What line is he on?"
Patiently waiting for him to finish raging, Sheri smiled slightly, well understanding the strain he was under. "Actually, he's not on the phone. He's waiting for you in your office."
"What?! He's here?"
Grinning, she nodded. "He's arrived about thirty minutes ago."
Nick didn't wait to hear more. Striding into his office, he greeted Lincoln with a handshake and welcomed him to town. "I wasn't expecting you until Monday."
"I wrapped things up in Utah faster than I expected to, so I just decided to come on."
"Did you have any trouble finding a place to stay?"
"No, actually, I rented Dean Ziggler's place," he replied. "I would have bought it off him, but he's not sure he wants to sell yet."
"Good," Nick said. "That'll give you the entire weekend to get settled in."
"Oh, I already did that. Ziggler rented the house to me furnished, so all I had to do was bring my clothes and personal stuff right now, thank God. It made the move a lot easier."
