“Look! … but there’s no milk … no bottle …”
I explain … is he in command? … seems to be … I don’t see anybody else … no time for hesitation … if we take the kid, we’ve got to have milk …
“Can he make it to Fürth?”
“How long?”
“Forty miles … two hours … an hour and a half … they’ve got everything in Fürth! … okay?”
“I think so … an hour and a half …”
All of a sudden he lights us up … with his torch … a very powerful torch … he takes a good look at us … he inspects us, kind of … first time he’s really looked at us … and the first time we’d inspected him … are we filthy! … all four of us! … grimy black! really comical … but no time to laugh … the planes’d be back, what he’d said, with full loads … in ten twelve minutes … I ask him again …
“Definitely!”
Maybe if this infant didn’t have to be entertained till we got to Fürth, he’d make us get out … now we’re here, we’ll stay … I’ve told you this captain spoke French … he fills us in, he knows where we are, he’s got a map … the stretch outside the tunnel, at the exit, hasn’t been hit too bad … so he says … which meant we, the train I mean, could put on steam right away … twenty twenty-five m.p.h., as soon as we got out … they were filling in the roadbed right now … perfect! … the three of us settle down with the baby on the Marshal’s couch … “kitchie coo!” that was our job … the kid doesn’t laugh … but he isn’t yelling either … we haven’t anything to change him with … he needs it … ah, the rest of the officers … one by one … crunch crunch on the glass … back to their compartments … they believe in Ulm, all they want is for the train to start … seeing us in the Marshal’s compartment … doesn’t surprise them, not very much … they ask us about the baby … is it ours? … no! … they make up to him … “kitchie coo!” baby talk knows no country … anything goes … most of these officers are family men … they show us photographs … their wives … their children … nice respectable staff officers … I won’t ask them any questions … where they’re from? … they’ll tell me after a while … anyway, I recognize all branches of service, artillery, air force, quartermaster … I bet they speak French … but right now they don’t feel like it …or don’t dare … our captain of engineers dares … guess he has permission … nobody seems to be missing, they’ve all come back … the whole staff … the Marshal? … nobody says a word … did he fall off the tender? … he was sitting on top of the coke … not a word out of us! we’ve been to school! … silence is the thing! and getting this train started! … choo! choo! by golly, we’re off! … well, pretty near … they’re trying … front … and rear… there she goes for real! …
“Say, aren’t we moving?”
“We’re out of the tunnel …”
“Bravo, Captain!”
I’m not going to start looking doubtful.
“Bravo! … bravo! …”
It seems they’ve repaired the roadbed and the planes haven’t come back …
“They’ll be here in five minutes …”
He must know.
“We’ll be far away!”
I say it good and loud … I want them to hear me! as long as it’s the O.K.W. car … and we’re in it! the least we can do is show morale! … the baby in between us is laughing … anyway trying to … good-natured kid, healthy, not a bawler … he laughs at our “kitchie coos” … but what really sends him is when the train starts to move … no diapers or towels, no use undressing him … what do you know! Lili’s rummaging … she finds three shirts under a cushion … wonder who they belong to? … anyway, we’re going to change him … “kitchie coo!” … this Captain Hoffmann knows his stuff, if the train isn’t blown up we’ll be in Fürth about noon … forty miles … oh, he guarantees nothing! … the R.A.F. patrols must have seen us coming out of the tunnel, with our two puffing locomotives front and back, volcanoes of soot … if they don’t blast us, it means they’re not interested! the worst part for us isn’t the darkness but the smarting in the eyes and not being able to tell through the window holes whether it’s mountains or what … at least we’re out of the tunnel … there must be country outside … ah, a bridge! … I think … the others are just as blind as I am, I mean Lili and Le Vig … rubbing their eyes, that makes them worse … the Captain has put on his special glasses, gas equipment, he’d known what to expect … I ask him …
“Was that tunnel long?”
“Two thousand and twelve feet …”
“You’ve got doctors in Fürth?”
“Anything you want in Fürth … but first we’ve got to get there …”
“Of course! … Of course!”
The tracks seem to be in good shape … I suppose the Marauders or whatever they are have other fish … you can hear them up there, way up … we’re going downhill … pretty fast, I think … very fast for us, this train I mean … I’m wondering about those Baltavian women and kids hiking back to Leipzig …
“You think they’re there by now?”
“No!”
Categoric! … we’re still rolling … but slowing down … a platform … it’s Fürth … buried in soot! the brakes! … a sign … sure enough! … this station hasn’t been hit … I don’t think … Wartesaal … waiting room … I’m blinking pretty bad, but I see it! I’m sure … I ask the others, they see it too … ah, nurses! … right there … the minute we stop … Captain Hoffmann wants service! …
“Schnell! Schnell!”
Our pollywog … on the sofa! … Lili picks him up and hands him to me … and I pass him on to a deaconess … must be … you know, one of their Protestant nuns … Leipzig must have notified them … and here they are! … they wrap him up and take him away! … another good sign! … a whole pile of sandwiches! for us … bottles of beer! … like a pilgrimage to Chartres … or Lourdes … well, not exactly, but something like … Salvation! … everything we need! you couldn’t call it anything else! … salvation for the coke engines and the O.K.W. staff!
“Doctor!”
The Captain wants a word with me … in private! … I follow him … we wade through the broken glass … the corridor … next car … and then another … here we are, the compartment he was looking for … empty …
“Something to tell you, Doctor! … my comrades … the other officers wanted to throw you out, you and your friend the actor…”
“I understand, Captain … I’m very grateful to you …”
He wasn’t telling me anything new … being a leper has its good side, you don’t have to be polite to anybody, wherever you show yourself they throw you out, which suits you fine! … I’d seen the lepers in Rostock, how happy they were to be yanked out of their snow piles and sent … step lively now! … to other snow piles!
“Captain Hoffmann, I’m very grateful to you …”
“Yes, but … now I have a favor to ask you … in return …”
“Why, of course! … only too glad!”
“Splendid! … we, the whole staff, you see … we’ll be getting out at Augsburg … two armies for the Ukraine … being reorganized in Augsburg … didn’t you know?”
“No, Captain! certainly not!”
“The three of you and your cat will take the Ulm train … immediately! … sonderzug … understand? the one the Baltavians were supposed to take … you’ll have plenty of room! … four cars! … empty! Augsburg hasn’t been destroyed yet … listen carefully now! … about an hour to Ulm … you’ll arrive in time for the funeral …”
“Ah?”
“A military funeral! … General Rommel … of no interest to you …”
Rommel? … never heard of him!
“… but somebody’ll be there … pay close attention … a name I must ask you to remember … Marshal Rundstedt! … don’t write it down, just remember it … Marshal Rundstedt! … and one more name: Lemmelrich … he’s only a captain … a captain like me … he’s on R
undstedt’s staff … you’ll remember? … Lemmelrich? … I can count on you? …”
“Oh, certainly, Captain!”
“Well, then … you’ll find Lemmelrich … you’ll recognize him … it’s easy in church … a captain … my type … tall, lean, gray … just one sentence … ‘your daughter in Berlin is better’ … that’s all … he won’t answer … you’ll say it in French: ‘your daughter in Berlin is better’ … he’ll understand …”
I wasn’t going to show surprise … but even so … time to think it over … sitting there … he must have been watching me … the train was moving along just about normally … except that even out of the tunnel the whole car is so deep in soot … every window … that you’d better not try to look out … him with his special glasses, nothing to worry about …
Hey! … we’re here … the train stops … the station … Ulm! … signs … we can get out … nobody stops us …no police … we climb out of the cloud, the soot … this station is all in one piece … or seems to be, we’ll see … chance to sit down and rest … rest? all we’ve been doing since Rostock … but not exactly easy in our minds … shunted from leper colony to fireworks to unbreathable tunnel … but now we’re on the platform … we cross the waiting room … here’s the peristyle, a bench, even a hundred percent fagged out this bench feels pretty good … Le Vig’s sulking, I can see that … me and the Captain shutting ourselves up at the other end of the corridor … he hadn’t liked that … the way he was looking at the sky … he was browned off! … really beautiful weather, lovely May morning … I’d better cheer him up, no good his moping like that …
“This avenue is magnificent, do you know why? … it’s magnificent because there’s nobody in sight … put in people, it’ll stink … as soon as people come around … not because of anything they do, just because they’re there … makes you sick to look … takes death to clean it up …”
Usually he liked that kind of applesauce, vistas, pseudo-profundities … lines for a melancholy Scandinavian … a dimestore Hamlet …
But this time, no soap!
“You pleased with yourself?”
The only effect …
I forgot to describe the scene for you, I must have lost some pages, I’d put it all down … we weren’t in the station proper … but on the peristyle, at the head of the stairs … from there we can see the whole avenue, as wide as the Champs-Elysées, bordered by sumptuous trees … the air was certainly pure in Ulm … no factories, no cars … and nobody around, neither in the station nor on the sidewalks, not a soul I … buildings on both sides, but empty, it looked like … ah yes! … somebody! not at the windows, right next to us! sitting there … this creep must have heard us … an old-timer with a goatee … who is he? I dive in …
“Guten tag!”
I can’t claim that he answered me … he grunts … I try again …
“Es geht? you doing all right?”
“Nein! no!”
Off to a bad start … no use describing my costume, but him … some kind of uniform … army? … police? … funny-looking outfit, never seen it before, though I’ve seen all sorts … every possible insignia … since Baden-Baden … and Moorsburg … I’d better ask him … He answers …
“Feuermann! … fireman … Hauptmann … captain! …”
Another captain … this fire captain only talks Kraut … not a word of French! … must have come up from the ranks … the ones who’ve been around some, who’ve been to some kind of school, even something like our Saint-Maixent, want only one thing: to be at home in Paris, voluble, conversative, blablative, with a bevy of midinettes spellbound at their feet, fireside with the big names and namesses … stage and screen … and socialites … ah, Sainte-Catherine!” ah, the magazine section! … Stalingrad? not bad! but wined and dined by the N.R.F.? they’ll swoon! our love to Gaston! choir boy at Mauriac’s mass, black … now you’re cooking with gas! but this character with the goatee! Enough idle talk … got to find out where he’s out of … I ask him.
“I’m too old, I don’t remember … but you? where are you from?”
This old-timer claims all the privilege.
“I’m a doctor, my friend here is an actor …”
Ah, a doctor, now he’s interested … a real doctor? … he doubts me … he wants proof … no problem! … in one of my sixteen wallets … all you want! … and official! … four five layers of pockets … proofs! … and in German! from their ministry … Erlaubnis! I had quite a struggle … here! … he takes out his glasses … he looks at me … he reads …
“That’s you? …”
“Who else would it be?”
This skeptical fire captain is getting on my nerves!
Well … in that case he wants me to examine him! just like that, he demands it! … and palpate his abdomen! … certainly! … but where? … not here on the steps! … he’s got a place he knows! … up in the station! … now where’s he taking us? … he shows me … a window … he stands up … well, almost … not all the way, only half … with grimaces … we try to help him … he refuses, he wants to climb up on his own … I offer him my cane … both my canes! no! now we can see his fireman’s uniform … he sits down again … I get it, he’s going to climb on all fours, one step at a time … that window is on the third floor, at least … one step at a time, we won’t be there in a hurry! … gives him time to fill us in … now he’s willing … not so suspicious any more …
“They call me Siegfried … Hauptmann Siegfried … that’s not my name, it’s the name they gave me! … seems they had to … we all changed our names …”
How about the uniform? … is it his? … no, it’s not his either! … his was burned in Pforzheim … how come? … because they went there, the whole Ulm fire department, all the engines … during the last bombardment … mines and phosphorus … the usual doses … two weeks ago … and to Frankfurt on Christmas Day, same story, the whole fire department … then Stuttgart, two weeks ago …
“We had six engines … a hundred and ten men on active duty! … and now, only five! … five firemen! und noch! und noch! … and still! one engine, just one! … all five at home, feuermanner … verstehen sie? … do you understand? … firemen? home in bed … burns! … me, the engine, the one and only, all by myself!”
We stop … sittee downee! … third floor? … still a long way off! I count … fifty steps at least! … he wants to take that stairway, he points to the sign, “Privat” … inside … I look him over … what’s wrong with him? … rheumatism? … tabes? … he’s taking us to the stationmaster’s office … on the third floor … one step at a time … slow but sure … we’ll be pals by the time we get there …
“They call me Siegfried … Hauptmann Siegfried … that’s not my name … it’s the name they gaye me … seems they had to change our names … on account of spies … the others changed their names too …” What about the uniform? Not his either! … his was burned in Pforzheim … the whole Ulm fire department was in Pforzheim … yes! yes! I knew it! … and in Frankfurt on Christmas Day … I knew that too … and in Stuttgart … he stands up with his helmet in his hand …
“Why did you change your name?”
“I didn’t! … the authorities! I’ve told you! and the spies! … they had to … and captain right away! … one day: sergeant! … ten years a sergeant! … next day: captain! right away! wasn’t that quick? … no more lieutenants! … no more captains! … all dead, all burned! … Pforzheim! … Frankfurt! … Captain Siegfried! … you understand?”
This fire department had no more officers … their headache! … no more men, no more engines … but he was still doing his best … he’s older than he says … come to think of it, he hasn’t told me his age … only mumbled some number … he must be more than seventy … pale as a ghost, sagging cheeks … I’ll get a better look at him upstairs, seeing he wants me to check his abdomen … ah, here we are! the door … on the landing … a breather! … I’m thinking about that captain
of engineers … his message for Lemmelrich … me whispering in his ear that his daughter and so forth! and so on! you won’t catch me whispering anything in Lemmelrich’s ear any more than I would in the Pope’s! anybody that doesn’t keep his mouth shut, all times, places, and circumstances, is a ham, a jerk, a deputy, a cop, something to keep away from … okay! … this door now! … I knock, Siegfried doesn’t move … somebody opens … not the Stationmaster, a woman … in a cap, she must be filling in for her husband, a raspberry-colored cap, she’s the stationmistress … very friendly, about forty … must be her husband’s cap, the visor hides her nose … the cap covers her ears, you can hardly see her chin … guten tag! guten tag! a talker, and so glad to see us! … and trusting! she tells us the whole story … her husband’s at the Russian front… she’s taking his place … her children are here, under the bed, three of them … she calls them … they answer … not very loud … three little voices … already very cautious and well behaved … I ask her: two girls and a boy … three, five, and six … they’ve got to stay where they are! they mustn’t be seen, either in the station or on the street, they’d be picked up … probably wouldn’t be returned to their mother until after the victory … it had happened to other children right here in Ulm, when the Führer had come to town for the big East-West Staff Conference … a raid! they’d even picked up members of the Hitler Jugend! … so obviously these kids under the bed couldn’t show themselves … not at their age! … “Kindern schweigen! children, keep still!” … our joker Captain Siegfried wasn’t wasting his time, he’s having trouble with his pants … they won’t come off … they’re period pants with an under-strap … ah, he’s made it! Christ, is he skinny! … he puts his helmet back on … he goes to the window just like that, mother-naked in his helmet… he’s got an idea …
Rigadoon Page 8
