“What? How could they do that?” Especially to someone like Paige who has fought for everything she’s ever gotten in life.
“I have no clue, except that they did.”
“Oh, man.” I pull her right back toward me, and she drops her arms, not resisting. For a few brief moments, I’m treated to the warmth of her skin and her quiet breaths. I’m almost sure I can feel her heart beating, quick and steady, before she pulls away from me. She looks at me like us being close is wrong, like I have a girlfriend and she’s not the divider Lexi has always accused her of being. Then she heads over to the couch and plops down in a huff.
“Have you called WSU yet?” I ask, sitting cautiously close to her.
“It’s Sunday,” she says. “I’ll just have to hope they can help me tomorrow.”
“I’m sure it will be fine.” I put my hand on the bare skin of her thigh. She’s wearing about the shortest shorts I’ve ever seen her in, so there isn’t anywhere else to put it.
She looks up at me and then at my hand, and I really wish I knew what was going through her head.
“Did you and Lexi have another fight?” she asks, and I yank my hand away.
“I came over to apologize for last night,” I say, inching away from her, disappointed she thinks my only reason for coming over would be to bitch about Lexi. “And I’m sorry for drinking and making a general ass of myself.”
She opens her mouth, and I think she’s going to say something about Lexi anyway, about how awful we are for one another. And I’d tell her she was totally right, but she pauses, seems to think for a moment and then says, “It wasn’t all bad. I mean prom queen and all. It was totally worth it just to see Britt and Trinity miserable.”
That makes me laugh, and whatever tension was between us breaks. “Our boy looked nervous as hell up there. I’m sure he was glad when they named you queen.”
She shrugs and presses her lips together. “It’s kind of weird they named the king before the queen, right? I mean, they don’t do it like that at Basin Lake High.”
“Totally.” I stretch my arm behind her. “I think Mrs. Timmons got all excited and had to call Garrett’s name out first.”
“Oh, you think Mrs. Timmons is crushing on Garrett?” She waggles her eyebrows like the suggestion is absolutely scandalous.
“I think Mrs. Timmons is crushing on anything with a dick,” I say.
“You’re so gross,” she says, bumping her shoulder against mine, and I’m loving seeing her smile.
“Yeah, but you love me for it,” I say, gazing at her.
“I do love you, Evan Mattson, even though you can be such a shit sometimes.”
She loves me… but I didn’t catch anything other than friendship in her tone.
“Oh, you love me, do you?” I wrap my fingers around her shoulder and pull her close again, not wanting this moment to feel awkward. I just want Paige to know I’m here for her, always.
For a minute, it’s perfect, and then she yanks herself away from me and says, “I’m sure Lexi loves you more.”
I sigh and pull my arm away from her. “We don’t have to talk about her, Paige. I told you I just came over to apologize.”
“And I appreciate that.” She jumps up from the couch like she’s itching to get out of the house.
“You’re mad at me.” I stand and tug at the waist of her shorts, unable to help myself I guess. “Please don’t be.”
“I’m not mad at you, Evan. I’m just mad at this stupid scholarship, okay?”
I slide a finger down her hip. “You want me to go?”
“I’m probably not very good company right now. I should just go for a run.” She gives me this look like maybe she wants me to go with her, but I can’t be sure, and I don’t want to be one of those guys who doesn’t take a simple no for an answer.
“Okay, well, it’s going to be okay, all right?” I pull her in for another friendly hug. “We’ll figure it out.”
“I don’t know,” she says, the first to step out of our embrace.
“I’ll sell my car if I have to,” I say. I’d do anything to keep her from being so sad.
“No you wouldn’t.” She’s shaking her head, but a smile is spreading across her face. “I wouldn’t ask you to anyway. You love that car.”
“Yeah, well, it would be worth it to keep you from being all stressed out.”
“Okay, Evan,” she says, opening the front door and making it clear it’s time for me to go. “But I won’t hold you to it.”
“I’ll do it! Just wait and see!” I wave to her, halfway to my car.
She closes the door, and I slip into the driver’s seat.
I’d been tempted to tell Paige everything about Lexi and I, why I’d stuck with her for so long and how every relationship I’ve had since the eighth grade has just been a substitute for Paige, the only girl I’ve ever really wanted to be with.
But she doesn’t need that, not now. She needs to figure out this college thing. And I’ll do anything I can to help.
CHAPTER NINE
PAIGE
A good run will do wonders for you. After Evan left yesterday afternoon, I’d run through the empty fields behind our house, all the way to where the scrub and rock starts to take over. I could have probably passed out from heat stroke, but it cleared my mind in more ways than one, and after sleeping hard last night from exhaustion, I feel like I’m ready to make some major decisions this morning.
I skirt out of the house without waking anyone. I didn’t tell Mom about the scholarship when she and my sisters got back from Spokane last night because I didn’t want to worry her. I’ll call WSU on my break at Pamela’s today and try to figure out how to fill the giant twenty-thousand-dollar hole in my college fund, and maybe I won’t even have to worry Mom at all about it.
The Monday morning rush at Pamela’s keeps me pretty busy and even takes my mind off of things, so much so that I’m surprised it’s already time for my break. I’m just gearing myself up to make the call to WSU when Garrett walks in. He’s wearing his usual plaid button up and jeans, and it’s clear he didn’t come in for coffee—he’s looking for me.
“Hey,” I say, stepping around the counter and offering him a gentle hug. “I’m so sorry about yesterday.”
He pulls me close to him and wraps his arms around my back. “I kind of thought you hated me,” he whispers into my ear, his breath warm on my skin.
“I don’t hate you, Garrett. I just had a really bad day, and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”
“You ready to tell me why it was so bad?” We ease out of our embrace, and his brown eyes look so full of love, like he’s ready to do anything to make that bad day go away.
“You want to go for a walk?”
“I’d love to,” he says.
Pamela is already working the register, so I just wave to her and take my blue apron off. When Garrett and I start walking down Main Street together, he weaves his fingers through mine, and I don’t do anything to dissuade him.
I take a deep breath, then say, “I lost one of my scholarships… a really, really big one.” We turn the corner, down one of the old, wide cobblestone streets downtown. “I just found out yesterday… hence the bitchiness.”
“Oh, man. I’m so sorry. What can I do to help?” he asks in a concerned, sympathetic tone.
“I’m going to call WSU today and see what options I have. I mean, it’s kind of late, but maybe they can help me figure something out.”
“I could get a job,” Garrett says. “Well, one that actually pays”—he chuckles—“not like at the farm. And I’m sure I can find work in Pullman.”
I take a moment to be grateful for his and Evan’s gallant offers while at the same time knowing I can’t accept either one.
“You’re going to be practicing and playing and having to study on top of all of that,” I say. “You won’t have time for a job.”
“Sure I could. We could get a small apartment off campus. We’d make it.”
He stops, turns and puts both of his hands on my hips. “I like hearing that you love me.”
His smile is contagious, and as I look into his brown eyes I feel a rush of optimism, one that tells me everything will be okay if I take the leap with him. Evan is still in my mind, but it’s the Evan who will always be with Lexi or some other girl that is never me, the Evan who is moving to North Carolina and who will either carry on something long distance with Lexi or meet someone new. I can almost see the look on Evan’s face if I were to tell him I was in love with him, one mixed with pity and regret. He’d say something like, “I was just flirting with you, Paige,” to explain the now ancient near kiss, the pressure to go to prom without a date, and the gentle touches. He’d add that he’s in love with Lexi and that he doesn’t expect me to understand. It’s clear to me now that there really isn’t a choice—it’s already been made for me.
And I can’t put off telling Garrett what he needs to hear any longer because won’t that just make it seem like I’ve had to talk myself into it?
“I’m in love with you.” I say it with all of the conviction I can muster, hoping the words will make me really feel it.
I didn’t think his smile could grow wider, but it does. He lifts me up off the pavement and twirls me around like Evan is prone to do, and I’m so caught up in the moment that Garrett is suddenly the only thing on my mind. And when he kisses me, I really forget. It’s different than the one after prom—there’s more feeling behind it, and it’s warm and wet and full of passion and love and backed up by years of friendship. It makes me tingle all over and makes me want to ditch work and run to his truck with him and go to the lake and strip down to our underwear like we did the other night.
“You’ve made me so happy,” he says once our lips finally part.
“Hey, I’m pretty happy too,” I say, looking up at him, savoring the taste of him and really wanting this to work and thinking it just might.
He pulls me in for another hug, and another kiss. I can imagine myself melting into his embrace and somehow knowing that everything will be just fine.
“I’m going to make sure you get into WSU, Paige, and if you can’t, then we’ll figure something else out. I mean, even if you have to put it off for a year, you can go to Basin County Community, right?”
I step back from him. “I don’t want to think about that quite yet, Garrett.” I’m not against community college, but I’m really looking forward to getting out of this tiny town. It would be a total downer to be here for another year and feel like I’ve been left behind.
“No, of course not,” he says, looking a little guilty for even bringing it up. “But whatever happens, we’ll get through it together, right?”
I nod, and I step up on my tiptoes so that we can lean our foreheads together. Garrett holds my cheeks while I grip his shoulders, and we just sort of stand there… connecting. There’s more than a sliver of doubt left in me that tells me this is wrong and that Garrett can only be my friend. I do my best to ignore it though because I’m ready for something to finally happen. As okay as I was with my lukewarm relationship with Mike, it does at times feel like I wasted five years on a guy who could never really love me, and I don’t want to make the same mistake in waiting for Evan, only to find out there could never be a real future for us.
“I’ve got to get back,” I finally say, taking a step away from him and seeing how heavy and lost in the moment his eyes are.
He brushes his hand over one of my ears. “I’ll finish up at the farm, and we can do something, just hang out, after you get off work of course.”
“I’ve got to deal with this scholarship thing,” I say, not sure if I’m glad to have the excuse or not. “And I told Pamela I’d do a couple extra hours if she needed me to.”
“I could help you,” he offers.
He’s so damn sweet.
“You can hang out at Pamela’s if you want. I mean, I won’t kick you out or anything.” I touch his lips with my fingers, and it makes him smile.
“You wouldn’t be weirded out by me sitting there watching you all day?”
“Maybe if you just sat there and watched me,” I say, trying on a smile. “But I do have to get back, okay?”
He gently glides his hand down over my shoulder and arm and then takes my hand in his. As we walk the few blocks back to the shop, it feels almost right to hold onto him and to know that we’re forming our own team, just he and I, and that I’ll have someone who is more than just a friend at WSU. But I also think about the fact that Garrett has needs, and I’m quite sure Beth had been meeting them on a fairly regular basis before their relationship went kaput. I figure he’ll be ready for sex right out of the gate while I’m going to have to work up to it—it will be my first time. Garrett will be patient though—at least that’s what I tell myself because I’m just not sure I’m ready, not until I can get Evan completely out of my mind.
I’m full of hope and optimism when we get back to Pamela’s, and Garrett drops hold of my hand long enough to open the front door for me. So much of my focus is on him that I nearly stumble into Evan who is just beyond the front door and typing madly away on his phone.
“Oh… hey…” I say, surprised to see him.
“Hey yourself.” He stuffs his phone away and puts his hands on my shoulders to steady me. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you.”
“Hey, man,” Garrett says, slipping his arm around my waist and pulling me away from Evan a step.
Evan immediately looks down toward my hips where Garrett’s hand is positioned and drops his hands from my shoulders. “I… uh… look, I’ve been trying to brainstorm your whole college deal, and my dad is on the board of Well’s Creek, so I figured I might ask…” He looks down at my waist again and then up to Garrett.
“Well’s Creek?” Garrett is dragging his hand up my arm and cinching it around my shoulder.
“It’s the college I’m going to,” Evan says flatly, his eyes not moving.
“Your dad is actually on the board?” I ask. “Do they have some kind of scholarship I could use for WSU?”
Evan shakes his head. “No, I think you’d have to go to Well’s Creek… in North Carolina… ” His affect is still flat, something much more pressing on his mind.
“No, she can’t do that.” Garrett laughs uncomfortably, like me leaving the state is completely preposterous.
“What’s going on?” Evan looks a little sick, and I realize he’s totally in the dark about Garrett and I, and for the first time, I feel a pang of worry.
“Umm… Evan? Garrett and I are together.” I say it more meekly than I would have imagined just a few minutes earlier when I was still riding high.
Evan is silent.
“You know how much I care about Paige. I love her, man,” Garrett says in a firm tone while Evan stands nearly frozen in place.
He doesn’t even flinch.
I look up to Garrett and smile at his kind words, though Evan’s silence is making me uncomfortable.
“Well, isn’t this just great,” Evan finally says. “How long has your little love fest been going on?” He’s anything but happy.
“Dude, relax.” Garrett stiffens.
“I thought we were closer than that,” Evan says, stepping back.
“What are you talking about?” I knew that if anything romantic ever started happening between our trio that it could be dangerous, but I didn’t imagine Evan would feel so left out when he’s been so wrapped up with Lexi.
“Just that you guys go behind my back and hook up? For how long?” He’s getting red faced, angry.
“Chill out,” Garrett says. “Just now… it just happened now.”
“As in right at this moment?” Evan makes a pouting sound.
“Stop,” I say, stepping away from Garrett, pulling at Evan and linking into his arm. “Let’s go talk, okay? We’ll still all be friends.”
; “Whatever.” He shakes me off, pushes past the both of us and walks out.
I’m stunned, but Garrett remains rigid, as though he’s been expecting this type of reaction from Evan all along. Maybe I should have too, but I’d just gotten done convincing myself that, as far as he and I were concerned, Evan would remain a giant flirt and nothing else. I told myself that Lexi or some other girl would have his heart. So his reaction to Garrett and I is all wrong, over the top, something I’d expect from a jealous lover, not a best friend.
“I don’t understand,” I finally verbalize, feeling sick to my stomach. I’d perhaps gotten Evan’s feelings all wrong.
“It’s going to be okay,” Garrett says, pulling me into an embrace.
But it’s not. Not now.
EVAN
I finally understand what guys mean when they say they see red. It’s the only color I see as I stomp out of Pamela’s, a sick emptiness in the bottom of my gut at seeing them together.
Somehow I end up at the far north side of Basin Lake, sitting in my car and staring at the water.
I punch my steering wheel a few times, imagining it’s Garrett’s head.
That fucking prick.
Sure, our friendship isn’t what it used to be. Garrett, though he doesn’t say it clearly, seems to think I’ve messed my life up. And yeah, I have, but nowhere near the point that it can’t be redeemed. And I don’t like the fact that he kept getting closer to Paige. It’s made me suspicious of him, and that’s not how you want to feel about your best friend.
A week ago, we’d played pool, and I’d asked him if anything was going on with them, considering they’d both been single for a while and were going to prom together.
“No, man,” he’d said, and I’d reminded him how I felt about her. He nodded and said, “Sure. I know.”
So then why the fuck is he with her?
I slam my fist against my steering wheel another half a dozen or so times, and it feels good. Maybe it’s not Garrett’s head I’m picturing but my own stupidity. I don’t own Paige, and I couldn’t have expected her to be single forever, waiting for me to be a man and stop worrying about what her response would be. But I had worried. If she said no, then what? Would I hold a grudge against her? Wonder why she couldn’t love me the way I loved her? Would it fuck up our friendship or make her feel like I’d been a selfish prick when she’d been stressed about other stuff?
Between the Boys (The Basin Lake Series Book 1) Page 9
