by Aimee Duffy
“This was supposed to just be for three months,” Caitlyn whispered.
Jake’s shoulders stiffened. “I said it was fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“Jake.” Caitlyn’s hand ran over his back and his muscles knotted tighter. “Let’s not worry about tomorrow. We still have tonight.”
He rolled over and disposed of the condom. Caitlyn knelt on the bed and stared at him like she’d done before. Her gaze seemed to scorch his skin and arousal darted back to his groin. Impossible as it may be, but he was hard again in a matter of moments. Even as a teenager, he couldn’t ever recall feeling as turned on as he was, just by a woman looking at him.
“Caitlyn—”
She placed a finger over his lips and cut him off. “Tomorrow.”
Jake would have protested further, but then she bent down and nibbled his ear.
“I want to taste all of you too,” she whispered, and a shudder of undiluted lust sped through him.
Caitlyn kissed and licked her way down to his chest, pausing to tweak his nipples gently with her teeth. Another shudder ran through him, almost making him explode right there. His hands threaded through Caitlyn’s fiery curls and massaged her scalp as she made her way down his stomach. Jake sucked in a breath when she paused over his erection. This wasn’t something Caitlyn had done before, and he hadn’t minded. Each time they made love, he’d been too eager to join with her and share the experience. Now that it looked like they only had this one night, he was glad she wanted to try.
Jake released his grip on her head and crossed his hands behind his head. There was no way he was going to make her feel like she had to do this. She turned hungry eyes on him and he grinned. “You don’t have to, you know.”
The corner of her mouth kicked up. “I want to,” she insisted and, without missing a beat, her head dropped and he felt her lips against his throbbing flesh. Jake gritted his teeth as he tried to tamper his body’s crazy reaction—no easy feat when her hands stroked the length with a grazing touch.
The sensations of her mouth on him, taking him deeper then pulling back to plant teasing kisses on the tip were more than he’d ever experienced. Within moments, Jake was near the edge, holding on by bloody fingertips.
But it wasn’t what he wanted. Jake wanted to join with Caitlyn again, to feel her as she plummeted over the edge with him. He reached out and raised her head. Confusion colored her expression.
“Am I doing it wrong?” she asked, flushing brilliant red right to her roots.
Jake felt his heart give a tug. “No, you’re amazing. If you keep doing that this will be over quickly.” Caitlyn grinned and tilted her head back down. He quickly halted her. “Caitlyn, I want to be inside you. I want to feel you around me.” A smile curved his lips. He never had to explain this kind of thing with other women. In fact, most of the women from his past expected him to be the sole pleasure giver. Another of the many things he liked about Caitlyn. She was untutored, sweet, and natural.
“Oh. Okay.”
Jake pulled her body onto his and then snared her mouth with his lips. Her soft, lush body pressed against his chest burned his desire to a fever pitch. He wanted to see all of her when he made love to her. Once the thought entered his mind, his arousal rose to almost carnal proportions.
“Caitlyn,” he said, breaking the kiss and nibbling her neck. She groaned a reply and the moist folds of her sex slid along the length of his erection. Jake shuddered. “Will you ride me?” The question came out more like a growl against the smooth, creamy skin at her neck.
Caitlyn nodded and then sat up. Her petite body straddled his and Jake gasped at the sight of her. The fire-engine-red curls haloed her desire flushed face. The bright light illuminated her skin to almost pearly white and her deep, rosebud nipples poked out, begging for his touch. Unable to resist, Jake reached out and tweaked one of the peaks. She gyrated her hips against his larger-than-life erection and a dart of raging need burned through him. He hastily slipped on a condom.
With his hands on either side of Caitlyn’s hips, Jake lifted her slightly, positioned himself at her entrance, and in one, agonizingly slow move, pulled her down, sheathing himself in her honeyed warmth.
“Jake,” Caitlyn gasped when he entered her to the hilt.
Caitlyn. He thought her name over and over as he held her in place, trying to put a stranglehold on his raging hormones. When he’d regained control, he slid his hands up to cup her breasts. She started to move slowly, and Jake thrusts his hips to meet her each time, but he let her set the pace. Her eyes, glazed and passion filled, were fixed on his and shone with such intense feelings that something cracked open inside him.
He tried to fight the barrage of emotions flooding into his soul, but then Caitlyn picked up her pace and he was transfixed by the soft moans escaping her lips and the way she threw her head back as her internal muscles tightened around him, pulling him closer to the edge. The tide of his orgasm reached its peak so he stroked the sensitive nub between her slick folds and was rewarded with her cry of pleasure.
Caitlyn’s body convulsed, and Jake’s release was dragged from him, leaving him feeling drained and empty. The cold crept into his pores and he pulled Caitlyn back down on his chest to keep the ice at bay. Her head rested under his chin, and the smell of their sex mingled with the wild berry aroma of her shampoo filled him with warmth. With Caitlyn in his arms, still joined to her, he was complete. It should have been terrifying, but he was too shattered to worry about it now. He drifted off to sleep blanketed by her body, feeling more at peace than he had in a long time.
* * * *
The sun rose and brought with it a heat wave to the tiny island, but it wasn’t enough to warm Caitlyn’s ice cold body. All morning, she’d greedily lapped up every iota of time she had left with Jake and they had made love until an hour before her flight was due.
Most of the cast had left the island first thing and she and Jake had been on the last boat trip back to Rio. Now, the seconds trickled down until she had to leave the first-class departure hall for her flight to LA. Jake hadn’t let go of her hand since they’d arrived at the airport. It made Caitlyn wonder if he was feeling the same crushing grief she was.
“Are Amanda and Kale meeting you at the airport?” Jake asked.
A lance of pain stabbed her heart and she struggled to get enough breath into her lungs. Her eyes burned with tears. But she refused to cry now, refused to let him see how hard this was for her. Or maybe he already knew and that’s why he gripped her hand tightly in his. Caitlyn nodded.
Jake let go of her hand and pushed the hair back from her face. His warm hands cupped her cheeks. “If you’re ever in London, make sure you look me up.”
Caitlyn’s heart ripped in two. What in God’s name was wrong with her? She’d known what she was signing up for right from the beginning.
“I will,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. Why did saying goodbye have to hurt so much?
Jake swallowed. For a second, his eyes mirrored her grief, but then it was gone, taking the last of her hope with it. Her flight number was called over the intercom, requesting the passengers move to the departure lounge immediately. A tear made a cold, wet path down her cheek and Jake swiped it away with his thumb. Do not fall to pieces here, Cait. At least wait ’til you’re on the bloody plane.
Caitlyn pulled free of his hold and rose to her feet. Jake stood up and then lifted her carry-on from the floor by the leather seats. “Goodbye, Jake.” The words made everything feel so final and a lump rose up in her throat. With blurry eyes, she turned to the door, but Jake swiveled her back around to face him.
His lips came down on hers, fast and hard. His kiss was full of want and need and sorrow. Caitlyn poured all her love, all her heartache, and all her grief into that kiss; all the while her whole being shattered into a million pieces. If it wasn’t for Jake’s strong arms, encircling her waist, she would have fallen to the ground in a heap of despair.
The final call
for Caitlyn’s flight broke through the sound of blood pounding in her ears and she pulled back from him. Jake’s eyes were full of lust, but mingled with something else which made the hope return. Could he love her? Her battered heart soared.
“You are amazing, Caitlyn Hart. Truly amazing.” Jake kissed the tip of her nose and what hope she had crashed down to the soles of her feet. “Promise me you’ll never settle for anyone. Promise me you’ll only ever be with someone who loves you with all their heart. You deserve better than anything less.”
Caitlyn tried to speak, but her mouth fell open with a silent sob. She quickly snapped it shut.
Jake’s eyes focused on her intently. “I wish I could be that man, I wish I could love you like you deserve to be loved, but I won’t ever be able to. You deserve better than me.”
Caitlyn felt like he’d stabbed a knife into her chest, carved out all that was there, and left nothing but a gaping, hollow wound. The pain was so surreal she couldn’t speak. Everything in her seemed wrong, like it was dying, and Caitlyn struggled to keep from falling to the floor and curling up into a ball.
Knowing she was about to lose composure, Caitlyn nodded her agreement and then picked up her bag. She turned her back on Jake and got her feet to move by sheer will alone. By the time she reached the departure gates, tears were streaming down her cheeks, falling onto her chest, and dripping down onto her red scoop neck top.
Since she was eight years old, Caitlyn had wondered what her father must have went through losing her mother to make him drown in countless bottles of cheap plonk. Now, even though she knew she wouldn’t end up the same, she understood. If she didn’t have Amanda and Kale to look out for, Caitlyn could imagine trying anything to rid herself of this pain.
* * * *
Caitlyn tried to focus on the fabulous clothes the models wore as they strutted down the catwalk, but nausea rose up in her stomach. She stood and shuffled past the other people seated in the front row as fast as she could with one hand over her mouth. Caitlyn didn’t think she was going to make it to the bathroom in time.
Once she reached the end of the row, she ran for the exit, all the while dragging in deep breaths through her nose, hoping she’d be able to postpone the inevitable. This morning she’d already emptied her stomach twice. She was beginning to understand the meaning of love sick.
Propelling herself into a cubicle, she just had time to slam the door behind her before the sickness hit, hard. Afterward, Caitlyn slumped down on the toilet seat and rested her clammy head on the cool partition wall. A sad laugh escaped her lips as she realized she’d spent three months worrying she would miss Amanda’s show and now that she’d made it back, she’d missed it because she was sick. She shook her head at the irony.
“Caitlyn, are you in here?” Amanda asked a half hour later from the other side of the cubicle.
Caitlyn struggled to find the energy to move. After a second, she reached forward and unlocked the door. “I’m in here.”
Amanda pushed the door wide. When she saw Caitlyn slumped against the wall, her mouth fell open. “God, Cait, you look awful.”
Caitlyn tried to smile. “Thanks, sis. That’s exactly what every woman wants to hear when she’s sick.”
Amanda scowled at her, then brushed her long, ebony side fringe back from her face. “You’ve been sick for days, and you’ve hardly ate a thing. If I didn’t know better I’d think you were pregnant.”
Caitlyn’s heart started pounding double time as fear sped through her. Since she’d arrived in LA a few days ago, she’d tried her best to hide her heartache from Amanda. The pain was still too raw and she hadn’t thought she’d be able to tell her sister about Jake without breaking down. Plus, Amanda had been stressed about the show and she needed Caitlyn to be there for her.
As far as Amanda knew, Caitlyn still had her virginity intact. That said, her sister thought she could be pregnant if such a thing were possible, but didn’t Caitlyn and Jake always use protection? Caitlyn was ninety-nine percent sure that they had. What if you’re wrong? the voice of logic whispered, and Caitlyn’s heart stopped for several beats.
“What makes you think that?” Caitlyn asked. She was too horrified to speak louder than a whisper.
Amanda laughed. “Well, unless you’re the Virgin Mary reincarnated I don’t think that’s the case. But you’ve been so tired and you’ve lost weight. Not to mention the fact that you can’t keep food down for long. Must just be a bug.”
Of course Amanda knew the signs of pregnancy, she’d experienced them herself. Caitlyn swallowed hard past the lump in her throat. Her eyes stung with tears and although a part of her was terrified at the thought of being pregnant, her broken heart fluttered with hope and joy when she considered she could be having Jake’s baby.
“I’m sure we always used protection.”
Amanda’s humor vanished and her dark brows furrowed. “What do you mean, Caitlyn?”
Caitlyn ignored the sting of tears and the horrendous pain resting in the empty gap in her chest. She told Amanda everything about Jake, the fling, the near-death experience, and the fact that she’d been stupid enough to fall in love with him. Tears streamed down her face and her sister fetched Caitlyn tissues and offered a shoulder to cry on. When she was done, Amanda wrapped her arms around Caitlyn’s trembling frame and they sunk down to the bathroom floor, probably ruining both of their dresses in the process. Caitlyn couldn’t find it in herself to care about a scrap of material anymore.
“Do you think I’m pregnant?” Caitlyn asked a while later.
“I think we need to get you a test and find out,” Amanda said and rose to her feet. She held out a hand to Caitlyn. “Come on.”
Caitlyn allowed herself to be pulled up. “What about the rest of your show?” Guilt ate at her. Amanda had been looking forward to this for ages and had worked hard for months. Caitlyn was about to ruin it.
“Not important,” Amanda said. Caitlyn frowned, so Amanda added. “It isn’t. This is. Come on, you need to know if you’re pregnant or not so we can get you to a doctor.”
Amanda linked her fingers through Caitlyn’s. “Thanks, Amanda. I’m sorry for ruining your big night.”
“Hey, you can make it up to me by wearing one of my designs to the premier of Caught in Action. That will be great publicity. I can see my business cards now—Amanda Hart, designer to the stars.”
Caitlyn chuckled despite the fact that icy fingers of fear gripped her heart. She fervently hoped she was ill. If Jake couldn’t handle the responsibility of his father’s company, Caitlyn didn’t think he’d want the responsibility of being a parent. After all, hadn’t he said he valued his freedom? Never mind the fact he’d told her he couldn’t love her like she deserved to be loved.
She knew deep in her heart he cared for her, but he had told her it wasn’t possible for him to love her. Would that ring true for his child too? The blood drained slowly from her face and then pooled in her stomach, emphasizing how hollow it really was. God, would she really have to raise a baby by herself? With the responsibility of Amanda and Kale’s welfare, how was she going to manage to care for her child and find work? Caitlyn closed her eyes against the sting of tears. If she was pregnant, she was going to have to ask Jake for help. There was no way around it.
Chapter 12
Pregnant
Caitlyn’s mouth fell open as she read the word on the white, plastic stick. She couldn’t believe it. Three minutes of waiting, three minutes of almost falling to pieces, to find out her whole life has been turned upside down.
Heart racing, she placed a hand over her still flat belly in wonder. There was life inside her stomach, a tiny person who she helped to create. Caitlyn’s pulse soared with a mixture of panic and elation.
“Cait, let me see.” Amanda plucked the pregnancy test from Caitlyn’s numb fingers and held it up to her face for inspection. “Oh. My. God!”
“I know,” Caitlyn whispered. She felt utterly shell-shocked by the development and w
as struggling to form coherent thoughts, never mind words.
Amanda slid onto the sofa next to her and clasped Caitlyn’s hand in hers. “What are you going to do?”
Caitlyn saw the genuine worry shining from Amanda’s eyes. Her forehead creased and she nervously twirled an ebony lock of hair around her index finger. When Amanda found herself in this predicament, the plonker had told Amanda to abort Kale. Thankfully, Amanda didn’t. Caitlyn had sworn she would protect them both and help Amanda every step of the way, which she had done. Would Jake act like Amanda’s ex or would he want to be a father?
Caitlyn shrugged and a lump caught in her throat. “I have no idea.” But she knew what she had to do. She had to tell Jake. She had to hope that he’d help her.
“Cait.” Amanda wrapped her arms around Caitlyn. “You have to tell him. You have to give him a chance. Not every man is like Luke.”
Amanda’s voice cracked and Caitlyn’s icy body unfroze. She wrapped her arms around her sister’s waist and squeezed. “I know.” Jake was nothing like the sorry-excuse for a man who’d fathered Kale. When Amanda had refused to have an abortion, Luke had kicked her to the curb, leaving her utterly heartbroken. Jake wouldn’t do that, Caitlyn knew in her heart that he wouldn’t.
I wish I could be that man, I wish I could love you like you deserve to be loved, but I won’t ever be able to. His parting words rang in her head again. No, maybe he couldn’t love her, but surely he could love his child?
“So, when are you going to London?” Amanda asked.
Caitlyn focused on her sister’s anxious face and dread settled like lead balls in her chest. The panic and old fears crept through her veins like ice-fire, scorching in its intensity. If she went to London, she risked her exposure to the press. If her father found out she was there, would he come looking for her?
Caitlyn shut her eyes tight, inhaled and exhaled several times to try and clear her head. Yes, he probably would. Either for money or to see her punished for taking Amanda from him.
