Pulling her closer, Marc drew things out a little longer before giving her a chance to catch her breath once again. Then he took her hand. “Ready to go on?”
She nodded, allowing him to lead her along the trail. Glancing down at their linked hands, she thought about his gentle strength and how much she’d come to depend on it.
Some time later, they arrived at an area which seemed familiar to her. She looked around and said, “This reminds me of the place we came last time.”
“This is the same place,” Marc said, letting his backpack slide down from his shoulders.
They settled cross-legged on the ground while Marc rummaged through his backpack for the food he brought for lunch. While Julia ate the familiar assortment of apples, jerky, and peanuts, she remembered the photograph of the waterfall Marc had taken here. The picture was now on the nightstand next to her bed, the frame only slightly scarred from its time in her desk drawer.
She pulled in a breath of the cool air. So many things had changed lately—things she could've never imagined.
Marc seemed to sense it too as he regarded her. “Flannel is a good look for you.” He smiled, but she was aware of a ribbon of tension emanating from him.
“I know, right? From the malls of Southern California to the wilds of Oregon back country. No one will believe it.”
“So what happens when the new wears off?”
She raised a brow. She couldn't fault him for talking around the issue when she was equally unwilling to dive right in. So much was at stake. “Who said it has to? I've always been one to seek out new opportunities and broaden my horizons.”
After a moment, he nodded. “Yeah, I think I'm the one stuck in a rut.”
She heard the slight discouragement in his voice. “I like to think of it as stability in a shifting landscape. It's nice to have something to hold onto.”
He looked away and began packing up the food.
It was like déjà-vu when they went to the water to wash their hands. While she shook the water from her hands in an attempt to dry them, she watched Marc begin to sort through rocks in a small pool, examining and discarding several stones in the process.
When he apparently found the one he was looking for, he sat down beside her. Opening his hand, Marc showed the rock to Julia. She picked it up and looked at it for a moment.
“Is this going to be another geology lesson?” she said.
Marc smiled and shook his head. “Actually, I have a correction to make. Last time when you asked me about this kind of rock, after just a glance, I thought I knew exactly what it was.”
Julia looked at him curiously. “And you were wrong?”
Marc took the rock from her hand and held it up to the light. “If I had looked at it a little longer, I would’ve notice many other properties about it, which would’ve given me clues about its classification. But I didn’t take the time.”
Julia glanced from the rock back to Marc and found him regarding her intently. He reached out and smoothed a lock of her hair behind her ear.
“I was wrong about something else. I was wrong about you.”
Julia’s mouth went dry. “You were?” Oh, Lord. In a bad way? Good way?
“I was caught by surprise by my attraction to you,” he continued. “And I made assumptions about you which proved false. I’m so thankful God opened my eyes, and that you've given me a second chance.”
“I'm glad too,” she said in a low voice, relieved beyond belief.
Marc took her hand. “So the question is, do we go forward?”
As much as Julia's heart rebelled at the notion of being apart from Marc, she knew this conversation had to happen.
“We both have expectations and hopes,” he said, “but then there's reality. And we’re both old enough to realize the importance of looking at this with our eyes wide open.” He glanced away for a moment, his grip tightening. “I don't have a high-powered job. I don't want one. I'm a simple person. I'll probably never be rich—”
“Do you think that's important to me?” she said, frowning.
His expression was careful. “Just stating the facts. I just want a family and to live for God.”
She tugged her hand from his and sent him a steady look. “Okay, since we're talking about reality, you have probably figured out I'm not a specimen of blooming health. And being in my thirties could have bearing on my fertility.”
He returned her gaze without flinching. “I want the family God has for us. No one has any guarantees of how that comes about.”
Us. Her heart tightened at the notion. And there was truth in his words. No one could map out their own future—something she should know better than most. And yet, here she was, still wanting the guarantees.
“And I want to support you in your endeavors and dreams. I know we can come up with a balance that works for us.” Marc reached out and took her hand again, a new uncertainty in his eyes. “Does this sound like something you want to explore?”
Julia looked at his hand covering hers, felt the warmth in his grip. She wanted to explore this all right, but she needed him to spell it out. She needed him to make the first move. “What? Like be backpack buddies?”
His tense expression evaporated as a slow smile spread across his face. “Well, there is that.” Marc dropped her hand and reached into his pocket. “And there's the part where you wear this. I hope.” He held out a small jewelry box.
Julia stared at it, almost too afraid to take it. She reached for it with trembling fingers and lifted the lid. Inside was an artisan diamond ring that had surely been designed by his father. The sunlight sparkled across the surface, echoing the light reflecting on the river. She looked up at Marc.
His gaze caught and held hers. “Marry me, Julia.”
Her heart swelled with inarticulate love as tears blurred her vision. Drawing his head toward hers, she kissed him, hoping her lips would communicate her feelings until she was able to form words.
He pulled away slightly. “Is that a yes?”
She nodded as tears slipped down her cheeks. “Yes.”
Marc took the box from her hand and pulled out the ring. “It was my mother’s. One my dad made for her. I hope you like it. If not—”
Julia shook her head, cutting him off. “It’s perfect, and even more meaningful.” She held out her hand and he slipped it on her finger. Julia stared at the ring and thought of all it represented—and how she was blessed to be a part of something so precious. When she looked up at him, she wiped her eyes and took a cleansing breath. “Thank you.”
He touch a stray tear on her cheek and leaned close. “So now that we have all the wrinkles for the future smoothed out...”
She smiled at the irony in his tone.
“...how soon can we be married? Tomorrow is good for me.” He nuzzled her neck, his breath warm against her throat.
Julia closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of his lips against her skin. It was a lovely thought. “I’m sure you’re aware weddings can take up to a year to plan.”
Marc pulled away, his eyes wide. “You’re kidding.”
“We could probably plan one in as little as five or six months.”
He shook his head. “Two months, tops. I’ll be finished with school by then and we can have a very long honeymoon.”
She toyed with his collar. “See, we’re compromising already.”
His smile was rueful. “So we are.” After a moment, Marc got to his feet and helped her up alongside him. “I guess I should probably take a few shots while we’re up here. I’m compiling material for another book I want to do.”
Julia dusted off her derrière. “Another book? Hey, I just thought of something.”
“What?”
“Another compromise.”
“Go on.”
“A job that I could do from home and the pay would only be room and board.”
His lips twitched. “I’m listening.”
“Is the offer still open for the position of your agen
t?”
Marc grinned. “Are you serious?”
“Of course! It would be wonderful to market your incredible talent and who would be more motivated than your adoring wife?”
He settled his hands on Julia’s waist. “I could put together an attractive bonus package. Say, a kiss or two for every percentage point of profit.”
“A minimum of two kisses per point,” Julia insisted.
“You drive a hard bargain.” He ran his knuckles along the curve of her cheek. “How about a payment in advance?”
Julia’s reply was muffled as the deal was sealed.
***
That evening, Marc and Julia returned to the B & B to make an official announcement. After a flurry of congratulations, Julia held out her ring for inspection at Sara’s request.
“It’s just lovely,” Sara said with a sniff.
“I’m very happy for you,” Brian said. To Marc, he said, “Although I feel compelled to warn you to watch your back when my sister gets miffed. Luckily, she’s a lousy shot.”
Marc laughed and glanced at Julia with raised brows. “How will I know she’s getting ready to throw something at me?”
“The look she’s directing at me right now is a good indication a handy missile is about to become airborne.”
Sara rolled her eyes. “Ignore my husband and say you’ll stay for dinner.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
After notifying her parents of her upcoming marriage, Julia called Spencer and asked to see him. She wanted to tell him about her engagement before he saw the announcement in the paper or heard it through the grapevine. Julia felt she owed him that much. They met for lunch and Julia was pleased and relieved with his gallant response and sincere congratulations.
When she arrived back at the B & B, she found the dining room table stacked high with an assortment of bridal magazines.
Sara shrugged guiltily when she saw Julia’s speculative look. “I just want you to know I’m available to help plan the wedding.”
Julia couldn’t resist tweaking her just a little. “Actually, Marc and I thought we’d avoid all the fuss and just get it over with at the county courthouse.”
Sara’s expression of dismay was so comical, Julia laughed out loud. “Okay, for you, we’ll have a conventional ceremony.”
The truth of the matter was Julia felt daunted by the task of planning a wedding. Not so much in the logistics involved, but it distracted her from her new endeavor. She brimmed with ideas for advancing Marc’s career and wanted to focus all her energy in that direction—that, and the longing to dispense with all the fuss so they could be together sooner than later. A visit to the local Justice of the Peace held definite appeal.
In the days that followed, Julia began planning her wedding in a brisk and organized manner. After discussing the options with Marc and his pastor and finding out what days were available, they decided to have a candlelight service and reception at the Portland church on a Friday night. She found a silk gown the color of champagne which would complement her thirty-something status. Next, she chose a black Ralph Lauren tux for Marc. A string quartet was hired and an abundant profusion of flowers ordered.
Julia toyed with the idea of keeping the ever-growing expense of the wedding from Marc, especially when the short notice sent the prices higher. She’d saved and invested over the years and could well afford to pay for everything. She’d have to tell him in a way that wouldn’t assault his tender male ego.
But beneath the preparations, she sensed a growing anxiety. Julia had no intention of redeeming a failed wedding, yet old fears and memories rose up to plague her hard-fought peace.
***
A few evenings later at his apartment, Marc listened with half an ear while Julia rattled off her plans for his career which, among other things, included four-color brochures and an interactive website. She may get me on a talk show yet.
He focused instead on savoring the warmth of her small frame nestled against his side. He rested his cheek on her head and closed his eyes, so grateful to the Lord for untangling the mess he’d made with her. He just hoped he lived up to her expectations.
Marc let Julia have the final say in all the wedding arrangements, figuring this would be her last big spending spree for a while. Arguing about the wedding was hardly the best way to start married life. He trusted her judgment in whatever way she wielded his checkbook and had to smile at how she carefully refrained from mentioning any of the cost. While he wasn’t exactly poor, things would be tight for a while. Somehow it would all work out. In the meantime, he’d avoid looking at his bank balance.
***
“A couple of letters came for you.”
Julia looked up from her guest invitation list the next day. Sara sat down opposite of her at the table and handed her the envelopes.
Opening the first, Julia quickly scanned the letter. With hard, bright eyes, she said, “This is from my mother informing me she and Gregory regretfully will be unable to attend my wedding. But,” she held up a check, “she sends a guilt offering.”
Sara smiled sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Julia. She didn’t come to our wedding either. In fact, I’ve never even met her.”
Julia shrugged, regaining her composure. “Oh well, now I can get that gown without feeling so greedy. I found a store in Portland that has my size.” She folded the check and tucked it into a pocket of her appointment book.
Picking up the next letter she said, “Now, let’s see what my dad has to say. If he’s not coming, I could turn violent.”
Sara giggled. “Since he’s going to give you away at the ceremony, I’m assuming he’ll be here.”
A rectangle piece of paper dropped out of the folds of the letter. Julia picked it up and swallowed a lump in her throat. “He sent a check, too,” she said in a quavering voice. “It’s enough to cover the entire wedding.”
Sara reached over and touched Julia’s hand. “That’s wonderful.”
Discreetly wiping her eyes, she said, “It’s odd how my parents both sent me the same thing, but one is meaningful and the other seems cold.”
With a shaky laugh, Julia unfolded the letter and began to read. “Listen to this! My dad has a beach cabin in Carmel that’s vacant right now and he says we can stay there for our honeymoon if we like.”
“Has Marc mentioned any plans for the honeymoon yet?”
Julia shook her head and grew wistful. “But I know he would love Carmel-By-The-Sea. It’s so beautiful, so picturesque. Maybe I could sell him on the idea by telling him of the photographic potential and how it could round out his portfolio.”
Smiling, Sara said wryly, “Just tell him where you’ll be after the wedding and I can guarantee, he’ll follow.”
Julia laughed, but her stomach still clenched as she thought of what had occurred with Kevin.
This time it would be different. It just had to be.
The day of the wedding dawned clear and bright, typical June weather. Sara was banging on the cottage door even before Julia was out of bed. The night before, after an evening rehearsal, they’d all gone out to a Portland restaurant and stayed out way too late.
Julia struggled out of bed and opened the door. Sara stood in the doorway with Alan on her hip.
“How can you sleep!” she exclaimed. “There’s a million things to do.”
Pushing her hair out of her face, Julia said, “Not really. The church wedding coordinator is taking care of all the last-minute details. All we need to do is show up.”
“Oh, how can you be so calm? I was a mess on my wedding day!” Sara took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll leave you alone. But if you need anything, I’ll be wringing my hands over at the house.”
Julia gave her a groggy smile as Sara headed back to the B & B. Once she was out of sight, Julia crawled back into bed and collapsed against the pillows. Before Sara came, she’d been laying there worrying, analyzing, obsessing.
The niggling fears and doubts she’d tried to ignore over the last w
eeks surged forth with new intensity. Her head hurt, her hands were like ice, and her heart beat like butterfly wings.
She was scared stiff.
All the ‘what ifs’ pummeled her mind. Knowledge of her failure at one marriage seared her with the possibility she could fail again. Was Marc lying in his bed having second thoughts? Was he wondering how to extricate himself from this mess? Her lurid imagination held her hostage.
Julia lurched off the bed and went into the bathroom. In the sink, she splashed cold water on her face, hoping the feeling of nausea would pass. I will not throw up on my wedding day! Raw indignation flooded through her at the thought, bolstering her enough to get dressed and go over to the main house.
In the kitchen, Brian poured her a cup of coffee and after nearly draining the cup, she tossed back the last little bit like a shot of whiskey. He raised his brows at the action.
Ignoring him, she made several phone calls to be sure all was in readiness. Ready for what? Julia had no doubt the ceremony would go off without a hitch. But what about real life? She was so jittery, her handwriting on her list of things to do became illegible, especially with her brother’s concerned attention upon her. Get a grip.
The doorbell rang, causing the pen to fall from her fingers. Marc had arrived to call the whole thing off. She just might throw up after all. Rigid with fear, Julia let Sara go answer the door, tensing even more when she heard a masculine voice.
Moments later, Sara returned to the kitchen with a large bouquet of red roses. Swallowing, Julia accepted the flowers and buried her nose in the velvety soft petals. As she opened the attached card, she prayed this wasn’t a goodbye note.
Julia, just a note to remind you I love you and that I’m counting the moments until we’re man and wife. Marc.
Lights and Shadows (Oregon In Love) Page 22
