by Raquel Lyon
Nessie considered asking how her grandmother’s situation had occurred but thought better of it. Maybe, now Nessie was older, the old lady would offer the information herself. “It must be hard, being immobile.”
“Oh, I’m perfectly mobile. I just can’t venture too far. I tire easily, you see. Your mother was immensely considerate holding her wedding here so that I could attend. I would hate to have missed it.”
Nessie felt a rush of guilt sweep over her. She’d presumed her mother had been thinking only of herself when choosing her wedding venue.
A low rumble of male voices grew louder in the lobby, and Nessie’s eyes automatically shot to the door.
“Spot on time, dude.” She saw Johnny wrap his arms around his brother and kiss the cheek of a dark-haired girl whose face she couldn’t see until she turned slightly, and Nessie recognised her as Kendrick’s girlfriend, Molly. As Nessie watched the scene, Matt glanced through the opening and smiled at her before disappearing again, leaving Nessie feeling hot and flustered. She turned back to her grandmother.
“Is he your boyfriend?” Grandma Bishop asked, with a twinkle in her eyes.
Was, in another lifetime. “No, Grandma. He’s the best man. I’m sure you’ll meet him later.”
“He was quite dishy, not unlike your grandfather at that age.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yes. Your grandfather was quite the catch. I’ve been a lucky woman. But tell me about your man. I hear he’s big in the music business.”
“Yes.”
“He manages the band playing at the wedding?”
“Yes.”
“Are you madly in love?”
“No.”
“I didn’t think so.”
“What? Why?”
“A woman in love has a glow about her, like your mother and your sister. You, on the other hand, have done nothing but stare into space and push your food around your plate.” Nessie twirled a ring around her finger as her grandmother continued, “The only flicker of light I’ve detected in your eyes was when that boy smiled at you a moment ago.”
“His name’s Matt.”
The old lady leaned forward and took Nessie’s hands in hers. “Life is a gift, dear. Live it, don’t waste it.”
“Is it always so complicated?”
“Love or life?”
“Life.”
“Personally, I’m not sure where my life went. I was going to do so many things: travel the world, have a great house, own my own business. But then this happened,” she sat back and slapped her hands on the chair’s arms, “and every day became the same.”
“But you’ve been happy?”
“At times, I’ve been very happy. At other times, very unhappy. Now, if we were talking love, that would be a different matter entirely. Love is both a blessing and a curse. Do you know I’ve only ever had one real kiss? One mind-blowing, knee-weakening, toe-curling kiss. Just the one. Every girl deserves more than one.”
“Was it Grandpa?”
“Oh, no.” She turned to look through the window. “No, your grandfather used to be a passionate kisser in the early years. It was one of the things that drew me to him, but as much as I tried to relive that one kiss, it never happened, and then I got sick and your grandfather became my nurse instead of my lover. Oh, he still loves me; he’s really a very caring man, but the passion died many years ago.”
Nessie really didn’t need to know that but commiserated anyway. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’ve learned to live with life’s disappointments, but if there’s one piece of advice this old bird can give you, it would be to enjoy your youth, and when you find that kiss, hold on to it, and don’t let him go.”
“Who was he… your kiss?”
“Someone who never should have been.”
“Why?”
“Because if that moment had never existed, I wouldn’t have spent my life mourning the loss of it. A life without passion is only half a life.”
“You really think so?”
“I do.” The old lady turned to face Nessie again and smiled. “Don’t be afraid, Nessie. Find your missing half.”
Chapter Sixteen
The last place Matt wanted to be in was a strip club. Sure, the women were gorgeous, and not many years ago, their half-naked, gyrating bodies would have had him hard in seconds, but he was a changed man. He had no interest in other women now.
Most of the group appeared not to notice his lack of participation in the nighttime activities. After whupping Johnny’s ass at karting, but still being outdriven by Kendrick, they’d retired to a curry house for well-needed sustenance, and once the drinks started flowing, the evening was downhill from there.
Matt had insisted his best man duties meant he needed to stay sober, and he was grateful for the excuse. He couldn’t have Johnny ending the night naked and tied to a lamppost. Not one of the guys argued, and by the time they arrived at the club, hardly anyone noticed he was still there. He wished he wasn’t. There was only one place he wanted to be.
The club was decent enough—quite classy, with red leather booths wrapped around a circular stage where three topless women alternated between dancing on the edge of the platform and draping themselves around a central pole.
Having been in the profession himself, strip clubs held no allure for him. He’d seen the scene played out dozens of times, from the other side of the stage, and he’d got to know many of his female counterparts. They were in it for the money, pure and simple. And they made plenty of it. If the guys in the band thought they’d be getting any added extras for their cash, other than the minute-long lap dance they were paying for, they’d be sadly disappointed. Although it didn’t stop them trying.
Garrett had a different target, taking every opportunity to grab at the waitress each time a tray of drinks arrived. Matt had to hold himself back from interfering and smacking Garrett in his ugly, drunken face for disrespecting the girl and implanting pictures in his brain of him affording Nessie the same treatment.
By the time they all crawled out of the club in the early hours of the morning, most of the band members were too drunk to even get into a taxi by themselves, but once safely installed, Matt left them to their own devices, choosing to share a ride with the others instead.
The quiet of the hotel was shattered by their group of rowdy revellers returning, much to the nightwatchman’s disgust. “Get to your beds, lads, and keep it down,” he said, jangling his keys.
Matt couldn’t agree more. Garrett’s incoherent rambling about wanting to be left at the club, because he was in there with the waitress, were extremely vocal.
When the elevator reached the fourth floor, Johnny and Kendrick turned right. “You gonna be okay with that one?” Johnny asked, nodding at the dead weight of Garrett held up by Matt and Josh.
“Yeah, we got it. Night.” Matt waved them off.
Outside Nessie’s room, Josh detached himself from Garrett. “Just dump him in the hallway. He’ll come round, soon,” he said, before disappearing into his room.
Matt considered it—the bastard didn’t deserve the comfort of a bed—but his inbuilt desire to keep the streets, and hotel corridors, clear of trash wouldn’t allow him the satisfaction. What would the early morning risers think to having to step over a drunkard on their way down to breakfast?
Unable to find a room key in Garrett’s pockets, it took a few minutes of knocking before Nessie answered the door.
She yawned and blinked her eyes under the glare of the corridor lights. “What the hell…?”
“Help me get him inside,” Matt said.
“I… um… Sure.” Nessie wrapped her arm around Garrett’s back, and together, they manoeuvred him onto the bed, where he immediately flaked out. Nessie looked down at him, frowning. “What a state.”
“Yeah. He’s gonna have a stinker in the morning.”
“Do you think he’ll be okay?”
“Do you care?”
“I’m no
t heartless.”
“He’ll be fine, but you might want to watch out for him puking on you in the middle of the night. Regurgitated pizza could seriously stain that white lace you’re wearing.”
As if only just noticing that she’d answered the door in her bra and panties, Nessie grabbed a T-shirt from the back of a chair and pulled it over her head.
Garrett groaned and rolled over, spreading his arms and legs across the whole bed.
“Shit. He’s such a fucking bed-hog,” Nessie said.
“Oh, I don’t know.” Matt nodded towards a pillow. “There’s a square foot over there he hasn’t quite reached.”
“Yeah, I’m never going to squeeze into that.”
Matt hesitated, nervous over what he was about to suggest. “You… could stay in my room.”
“Oh. No. I couldn’t.”
“Why not? I’ll sleep in the chair. You can have the whole bed. It’s only a single, but it’s got to be better than what you have here. Unless, of course, you want to stay with your abusive, pisshead boyfriend.”
“Not really.” Nessie sighed. “But what if he wakes up and I’m not here?”
“Does he look as though he’ll be waking up anytime soon?” Matt’s heart beat rapidly as he waited while Nessie chewed on her cheek, deep in thought. “You can sneak back in, in the morning. He’ll never know you were gone,” he reasoned.
“Well… I suppose I could.”
***
Nessie entered Matt’s room, took one look at the bed, and turned straight around. “This was a bad idea.”
Matt grabbed her shoulders and swung her back inside. “Nonsense.” He steered her over to the bed, flipped the bedspread back, and pushed her gently onto the sheet. She allowed him to lift her legs onto the mattress and cover them. “Snuggle up,” he said, removing one of the pillows and throwing it onto a nearby chair. “I’m just going to brush my teeth, but I won’t be offended if you’re asleep when I get back.”
Nessie shuffled her bottom further down the bed and clutched the sheet to her chest as she waited for him to return. Sleep? She couldn’t sleep. She was in Matt’s bed, and she was wide awake.
Think of it like a sleepover at a friend’s house, her inner voice reasoned. She wanted to listen to it, but Matt wasn’t a friend. He was Matt. Matt had left the friend zone, four years ago, and there was no putting him back. She didn’t think of him that way anymore.
He exited the bathroom, and her eyes were immediately drawn to his perfectly contoured torso. No. She definitely didn’t think of him that way. But how did she feel about him? Could she ever forgive him and trust him enough to give him another chance?
Through half-open eyes, Nessie watched Matt remove a spare blanket from the shelf in the wardrobe and turn off the light. As her eyes adjusted to the glimmer of moonlight filtering through the curtains, she heard him shuffling around in the dark. Turning to face him, she could just about make out his faint silhouette huddled in the chair.
She hadn’t really believed he meant to sleep in such an uncomfortable place while she enjoyed the luxury of his bed, but he was clearly serious in his intention. It was kind of sweet and totally something the old Matt would have done. Was the old Matt still in there, hiding under all those muscles and a new confident exterior?
“Are you warm enough?” she asked.
“Not too bad. You?”
“Perfectly.” Nessie closed her eyes and willed sleep to come, but she couldn’t shake a feeling of being watched.
A few minutes passed, and she knew Matt wasn’t sleeping either. She could hear him shifting position in the chair, trying to find the best spot. Feelings of guilt swept through her.
“Matt?”
“Yeah?”
“Come to bed.”
Without uttering a word, he closed the space between them and pulled back the covers. Nessie turned over and scooched as far as she could to her side to give him more room, but when he climbed in, he moulded his body around hers, and they fell asleep spooning.
Chapter Seventeen
The sun was streaming through the curtains when Nessie awoke. She rolled over awkwardly and discovered Matt was awake too.
“You look beautiful in the morning,” he said.
She smiled. “What time is it?”
“Not sure.” He reached behind to get his watch from the bedside table, and squinted at it. “Um… Eight-fourteen.”
“Shit. I have to go.” Nessie flung the covers back, jumped up¸ and headed for the door.
Matt immediately followed her and snagged her arm. “Ness.”
“Yes.”
Warmth radiated from his body, reminding her of what she was running away from. The corners of his mouth curved into a faint smile that shot a pang of longing to Nessie’s core and locked her eyes to his.
“That was nice,” he said.
She wanted to tell him how much she’d thought so too, how protected she felt, and how safe, but a sudden hammering jolted both their attentions to the door.
“I know you’re in there,” Garrett bellowed. “Open the fucking door.”
Nessie’s eyes widened with panic.
“It’s okay. I’ll deal with him,” Matt said.
“No,” Nessie said. “I can fight my own battles.”
“You might need some help with this one.”
As soon as Matt turned the handle, Garrett burst into the room and immediately swung his fist, but Matt had quick reflexes and dodged the punch with ease.
“Garrett, stop. It’s not what you think,” Nessie shouted.
Garrett stumbled forwards, but quickly righted himself and twisted around to take another swing at Matt, his fist connecting with the wall this time.
Matt pushed Nessie behind his back. “Calm down, mate. Nothing happened.”
“Fucking liar,” Garrett said, rubbing his bruised knuckles. “Do you think I came off the last train? Why else would the little slut be here?”
Matt faced up to Garrett. “She’s not a slut, you asshole.”
“Sure looks like one from where I’m standing.”
Nessie stepped between them and pushed them apart before asking, “If I’m such a slut, why have you stayed with me all this time?”
“Good question. I guess I’m just plain stupid.”
“No. I’m the stupid one. Stupid for sticking with a man like you.”
“Oh, like you could do any better. You loved it. Don’t try to pretend otherwise. I was exactly what you wanted. I gave you everything you wanted. I thought it was worth it to have a respectable girl on my arm—one the newspapers couldn’t drag up a sordid past on—but I was wrong. You’re just like all the other whores out there… and I overpaid for you.”
“I’m sorry? Are you… are you saying you paid to sleep with other women… while we were together?”
“Most of them opened their legs for free.” A cruel smirk spread across his face, and he laughed. “You don’t think you were enough, do you?”
Lost for words, Nessie couldn’t breathe. She felt sick. Dirty. It had all been a lie. He’d been playing a part just as much as she had and lying his way through it all. When Matt had dumped her, he’d not only left her with a broken heart but a bruised ego too, and being desired by a man like Garrett had gone a long way to help heal her wounds and had prevented her from travelling down a path of self-destruction. She might not have been with him for the best of reasons, but at least, she’d been faithful.
“Get out,” she screamed.
“Don’t worry. I’m going. I can’t wait to leave this shithole.” He flung open the door but swung around at the last minute. “And I’ll expect all the gifts I gave you returned.”
“You mean the payment for services rendered? Dream on. I earned every last one of them.”
The sound of the door slamming was accompanied by one word: “Bitch.”
“Enjoy the flight,” Nessie shouted at the wall. She leaned against the dressing table, shaking. She knew the confrontation had
been coming, but she’d expected to have more time to prepare, and it hadn’t gone anything like she’d imagined it would.
Matt took a step forward, holding out his arms. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“Not really,” she said through ragged breaths, shying away from his touch. She didn’t want to be touched. Not now. If Matt comforted her now, his touch would be tainted by Garrett, and she would always remember. What had just happened was a moment that needed to be forgotten, shut away in its own little box, well away from Matt’s touch. It was a moment that called for a different kind of comfort.
“Can I do anything to help?” he asked.
“Actually, yes. Lend me a pair of shorts.”
“Shorts?”
“Well, I can’t go down to breakfast with my knickers on show, can I? And I need food. Lots of it.”
***
Amy kicked Josh’s ankle under the table, causing his forkful of beans to splatter back onto the plate.
“Watch it, babe.” He laughed.
“Sorry,” she said, smiling to the others sharing their table before whispering in his ear, “But look outside.”
In the lobby, the band members were gathered around an assortment of bags and kit boxes.
“What’s going on?” Josh mumbled from the corner of his mouth.
Amy glanced at her mother, who thankfully had her back to the action. “Trouble. And here she comes now.”
“Ah, see, I told you there was nothing to worry about with Matthew.” Cora smiled as she watched her daughter approach. “And nice to see Vanessa showing some maturity for a change, although I would have expected Garrett to be with them.”
“I’m pretty sure Garrett doesn’t eat breakfast, Mum,” Amy explained.
Nessie and Matt chose a table-for-two less than two feet away from Amy. She waited until they’d ordered to mouth: “Explain.”
Nessie flicked a nervous look at her mother and leaned across the gap. “Um… Things happened a little sooner than expected.”
“Why?” Amy asked.
Nessie looked sheepishly at Matt.
“No,” Amy gasped. “You didn’t.”
She shook her head. “It didn’t seem to matter.”
