by Shana Burton
“I’m praying for you, Sully, for real. I’d hate to see another Christian family fall apart. We should be able to hold it together if no one else can.”
“Church folks are regular people, Angel.”
“Church folks are. Christians are covered by the blood of Jesus. Our lives should reflect that.”
“I suppose. . . .”
“But your relationship with Charles isn’t the only one I’m worried about these days.” Angel sat down. “Lawson told me what happened.”
“If your objective is to not drive me to drink, don’t mention that person’s name around me.”
“Sully, she means well. . . .”
“She all but called me a psychotic, baby-thievin’ lunatic and banned me from seeing her stepson.”
“She’s trying to do the right thing and protect him.”
“But from me, Angel? I’ve been her best friend for over twenty years, and I’ve never done anything to hurt her. Why would I start now? The mere fact that she even thinks that I’m so far off in Toontown that I can’t distinguish between my son and hers says a lot about this friendship, if you can even call it that. I’m done with her.”
“I think this is the mimosa talking.”
“To tell you the truth, I wouldn’t even be drinking right now if it hadn’t been for that fight with Lawson,” Sullivan confessed. “I’d stopped drinking. I was starting to pull my life back together. I was feeling like the old me again. I guess there’s something about your best friend, who also happens to be the person who knows you better than anyone else, saying that you’re a head case that can shoot all those warm, fuzzy feelings straight to hell.”
“I know that what she said hurt you, but this”—Angel pointed at Sullivan’s glass—“is not the solution.”
“Then what is?”
“Leaning on your family. Most importantly, leaning on God. I don’t see you doing much of that these days.”
“Well, I guess there’s nothing like losing your child to send those warm, fuzzy faith feelings straight to hell too.”
“Is your faith that weak that one tragedy can make you turn your back on everything you know to be true about God? Or your friendship with Lawson, for that matter?”
Sullivan shook her head. “There are simply some things that can’t be undone, regardless of how much faith or history you have.”
“If that were true, we’d all be in trouble! Faith in Duke and our love and believing that God brought us together are what has sustained us through the tough times.”
“I thought y’all broke up.”
“We’re on a break,” explained Angel. “That’s not the same as a breakup.”
“If your man being a rapist isn’t grounds for a breakup, I don’t know what is!”
Angel turned sullen. “Duke is not a rapist, Sullivan. I wish you’d stop saying that even as a joke.”
Sullivan finished off her mimosa. “Who said I was joking?”
“If it wasn’t a joke, it would make you one cruel, heartless witch for saying that to me.”
“For speaking the truth?”
“What truth? He was charged, not convicted. ” Angel flung her hand. “I’m not going to get into this with you today, Sully.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re two sips away from inebriation and you’re talking crazy.”
“Oh, so now you’ve jumped on the ‘Sullivan is crazy’ train too?”
“I didn’t say you were crazy. I said you were drunk.”
“Angel, you know it takes more than one watered-down mimosa to get me drunk. Plus, I haven’t said anything about Duke that I haven’t told you already.”
“Sully, how would you feel if I called the man you love a rapist? That’s not a word you play around with.”
“Duke may not be a rapist, but he is a liar and a cheater, right? You do own up to that much, don’t you?”
Angel raised an eyebrow. “Are we talking about Duke, or are we talking about you?”
“Whatever,” muttered Sullivan.
“Regardless, cheating on me with one person doesn’t make Duke a rapist.”
“One person that you know of,” retorted Sullivan. “Even in college, we all knew that Duke wasn’t exactly stingy with the peen. He’s dipped it in practically every available hot pocket from D.C. to Georgia!”
Angel took offense. “That’s completely unfounded and unnecessary, Sullivan. You don’t know Duke the way I do.”
“Maybe not, but I do know that you drove all night from D.C. to my apartment in Savannah because you didn’t have anywhere else to go after Duke left you for Theresa. I also know that we found you in the bathroom, passed out and overdosing on pills after you tried to kill yourself, and I also remember having to help you pick up the pieces when you lost your baby after finding out your husband had fathered someone else’s child.”
“Sullivan, you’re talking about things that happened over a decade ago. You’ve changed since the whole Vaughn affair fiasco. Don’t you think it’s possible that Duke’s changed too?”
“You don’t even think he’s changed, Angel,” argued Sullivan. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have gone to his accuser for answers.”
“I went to prove that Duke was innocent.”
“No, you went to have her confirm what you knew to be true in the pit of your stomach. Granted, I’m willing to concede that maybe he didn’t try to rape her, but we both know something happened between the two of them in that hotel room. The only question is whether or not it stopped being consensual at some point. My goodness, how many times does Duke have to make a fool out of you for you to wake up?”
Angel fired back. “That’s a great question for me to ask Charles, since apparently he has yet to meet his quota with you! How you can stand there and degrade Duke for cheating when, for the longest time, you didn’t even know who the father of your child was!”
“Don’t bring Charles and Charity into this! My marriage has nothing to do with Duke’s wandering eyes and hands. Say what you want about me, but nobody has ever accused me of forcing myself on them.”
Angel’s temper flared. “You know, Sullivan, I’ve spent many years turning a blind eye to your indiscretions. Mostly because I love you, and also because I thought underneath all the scheming and lying and manipulation and lawlessness, there was a real person in there who had a heart. I’ve always been willing to give you another chance to prove that you were not the person everyone said you were. Do you know how many times I’ve had to defend you and our friendship to other people? Do you have any idea how many I’ve been asked, ‘Why do you hang out with that whore? Don’t you know what kind of person she is?’”
“Hold up. I’ve never asked you to defend me. There’s never been an ounce of shame in my game! I don’t need you or anyone else trying to explain Sullivan Raquel Webb. I do what I want, when I want it, and banish to hell whoever doesn’t like it. I don’t need you taking up for me. All the Charity I need is in that upstairs bedroom, asleep. I don’t want yours.”
“Remember that next time you call wanting somebody to keep one of your many dirty little secrets,” threatened Angel.
Sullivan gave her the once-over. “I’m not the only one in this room with dirty little secrets, not by a long shot.”
“Let me get out of here before I say something that I can’t take back. I’m leaving.” Angel snatched up her car keys and bottled water. “I’m not about to stand here and let you disrespect me and talk to me any kind of way.”
“You’re right. That’s Duke’s job.”
Angel brushed past Sullivan on her way out.
“Fine. Why don’t you go run to your good friend Lawson, and the two of you can congratulate each other on being better and more moral than anyone else!”
Angel turned around. “We may not be more moral than most, but we’re certainly better and more moral than you! Honestly, I feel sorry for your daughter.”
“I would feel sorry for yours, but I can’t.
You left her in a dead fetus pile at the abortion clinic.”
Angel glared at Sullivan. “That was a low blow, Sullivan, even for you, who’s no stranger to going below the belt, in every sense of the word.”
Sullivan poured another glass of juice. “I thought you were leaving.”
“I am. I’m also thinking that Lawson isn’t the only one who needs a break from you.”
Sullivan made a face, mocking her. “Take a break, Angel. Have a seat. In fact, you need to have several seats, preferably somewhere other than here!”
Angel marched out. At that moment, she knew they’d crossed a precipice. Outside, Angel was tempted to turn back and apologize but sided against it. Sullivan had finally gone too far. In truth, they both had.
Chapter 38
“This circle shouldn’t be a place where I have to worry
about being judged or living up to a standard or keeping
grown women from killing each other.”
–Angel King
Lawson joined Angel for a cup of tea at Angel’s house. It was one of the few places she still felt welcomed.
“How are you holding up these days?” she asked Angel.
“It depends on which minute you ask. Right now, I’m okay. Fifteen minutes ago, I was a mess. An hour from now, who knows? Duke’s case is still pending, and it’s stressing both of us out. He thinks I don’t believe in him, and I can’t say definitively that I do. I’m afraid this may be what finally ends our love story.”
“Angel, I’m completely confident that you and Duke will find your way back to each other. You always do.”
“Time will tell,” said Angel. “You and Namon still on the outs?”
Lawson nodded.
“And Reggie?”
Lawson nodded again.
“What about you and Sully?”
Lawson sighed. “It’s complicated with us.”
“Dang, is there anyone you’re still cool with?” joked Angel.
“I have you and Kina still ridin’ for me.”
“If it counts for anything, I did try to get Sully to reconcile with you. Of course, that was before she and I became fast frenemies.”
Lawson was shocked to learn that Angel and Sullivan had fallen out too. “Et tu, Brute?’”
“Yeah, she started going in on Duke again, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I said some things. She said some things. It got pretty nasty.”
“I’m sad to hear that, but I know how hard it is when the people you love and count on don’t support you.”
“Ain’t that the truth? I know everybody else has bailed, but you’ll always have me,” Angel assured her. “I’ve got your back. Despite what you have going on with Reggie and Sullivan, you’ve been great to me. You’re an amazing friend, which is exactly what I’ve needed with everything going on with Duke. You have no idea what your support has meant to me.”
“It’s easy. I know Duke didn’t do it.”
“Thank you. Why can’t anyone else see that?”
“Some people would rather believe the worst about everybody else. My mom used to always say that it’s easier to believe than to think. Considering what Reggie and Sully have gone through with men, it’s no surprise that they would side with Duke’s accuser.”
“I guess.”
“It’s kind of like my situation with Namon. Reggie and Sully don’t agree with what I did regarding the abortion, but you understand why I did it, don’t you?”
Angel leaned forward. “Actually, no, I don’t.”
Lawson was surprised by her answer. “Why not?”
“Lawson, you were so vehement with your disapproval a year ago, when I had an abortion. You droned on and on about how my baby deserved a chance at life and how selfish I was being for not telling the baby’s father about the abortion. I was riddled with guilt because of it. That guilt was one of the reasons I started abusing painkillers.”
“So it’s my fault you started popping pills like they were candy?”
“No, but your condemnation didn’t help! On top of that, you never even apologized for how you treated me. Then you turned around and tried to do the same thing to Namon that you shunned me for doing to Jordan. The same abortion that was such as sin for me to get was perfectly acceptable when you tried to force one on your son’s girlfriend.”
“Angel, the situation with Namon is completely different.”
“How so?”
“Namon and Shari are in no position to raise a child.”
“Yeah, but at the time, neither was I. I could barely afford to feed myself, much less anyone else. I was working three jobs just to make ends meet, and Jordan certainly wasn’t the man I wanted to share a child with.”
“True, but you were old enough to know better and established enough make it work. Shari and Namon aren’t.”
Angel shook her head. “That’s amazing.”
“What?”
“Your ability to commit the same sins you accuse everyone else of yet find a convenient way to rationalize it when you’re at fault.”
“I have principles, and at least I try to do the right thing. My heart and intentions are always in the right place.”
“And ours aren’t?”
“I don’t know. Was your heart in the right place when Miley wound up in the hospital, getting stitches, because you were indulging in your porn obsession instead of watching her? Was Sully’s heart in the right place when she was sleeping with Vaughn and Charles at the same time? What about Kina when she outed Reggie for TV ratings or Reggie when she was stripping for married men and dropping her drawers for tips?”
“Love doesn’t keep a record of the wrong others do,” said Angel, quoting. “Lawson, I could just as easily dredge up your past sins, like lying to your husband or the deplorable way you treated poor Simon in the beginning. Not to mention how you played Mark and Garrett against each other and tried to convince Reggie that Mark wanted her only for sex. But I guess your heart was in the right place all those times too, right?”
Lawson rolled her eyes.
“You’re self-righteous and judgmental. You can dish it, but you sure as heck can’t take it. This is the way you eventually drive all the people you love away from you.”
“Angel, if I didn’t set a standard, there wouldn’t be one in this group.”
“I don’t think anybody has a problem with you having a standard. The issue is that you set one that not even you yourself can maintain, but you judge us when we fall short.”
“Regardless of what I’ve done right or wrong, I’ve always been a friend and been there for all of you. I’ve been the one praying, holding your hand, letting you know it’s going to be okay. Is it too much to ask for my friends to do the same?”
“No, but you make us not want to support you when you get all ‘moral majority’ on us.”
Lawson pursed her lips together and set down her cup. “I think coming here was a mistake.”
Angel paused before speaking. “Maybe it was.”
“You have a pleasant day,” declared Lawson in the nastiest tone possible. She stomped toward the door but stopped when she placed her hand on the doorknob. “What are we doing?”
“You were seeing yourself out,” retorted Angel.
Lawson came back into the room with Angel. “Don’t you see what’s happening to us? Everybody is all splintered off and mad.”
“It’s not the first time that’s happened,” said Angel.
“It’s never been this bad and for this long. We all know that Sullivan is a hothead and Reggie has a smart mouth, and both are usually the source of problems in our friendship. But you and I, Angel, are always the rational ones, the two who diffuse the drama and keep everyone together.”
Angel stood up. “I think that’s the problem, Lawson. Friendship shouldn’t be this much work! My friends should be my refuge from the craziness out in the rest of the world. This circle shouldn’t be a place where I have to worry about being judged or living up to a standar
d or keeping grown women from killing each other.”
“But that’s what we do! We argue, we get mad, we cuss each other out, but we always get it together. That’s what friends do.”
“No, that’s what we do and it’s exhausting! I don’t even have this much drama in my relationships with men. It’s like we’re trapped in a bad marriage.”
“And now you sound like you want out, is that it?”
Angel exhaled. “Why are you making it sound like I’m a defector for wanting a little break? Do you know how much I have going on in my life, Lawson? My own personal drama is enough without everybody else’s.”
“I get that. I’m just afraid that if we don’t put a stop to all the infighting, we’re going to end up losing our friendship.”
Angel mulled it over. “Would that be so terrible?” She paused. “In fact, I think it might be exactly what we need.”
Chapter 39
“How could you toy with my emotions like that?”
–Kina Battle
Kina learned very quickly what could happen when a person shows up unannounced when she turned up at Desdemona’s downtown loft without calling first.
“Des, I’m concerned about the latest notes you e-mailed me about the book,” said Kina, barging in once Desdemona answered the door. “I think you’re making me come off as a self-centered, confused, needy thirst trap! Is that how you see me?”
“Of course not, but we can talk about it later. Right now you have to go.” Desdemona redirected Kina toward the door.
“Wait. I brought some notes. I wanted to go over a few details with you.”
“Kina, this isn’t a good time to talk shop. Let’s table this until tomorrow.”
Kina became suspicious. “What’s going on? Why are you trying to get rid of me?”
“I’m busy. Look, I don’t want to be rude, but—”
Kina heard what sounded like water running and spotted a pair of men’s loafers on Desdemona’s living room floor and grinned. “Des, do you have a man up in here?”
