I walk outside through the back door, making a call as soon as the cool mist of the rainy night hits my face.
“Hey,” her melodic whisper answers after the first ring.
“Where are you?”
“Home. I’m finishing today’s chapters. And you, still working?”
I ring her doorbell. “No.” I pause until I hear the sound of the lock. “I’m outside, waiting to be let in, Butterfly.”
In only a matter of seconds, her door swings open and she leaps into my open arms. I breathe in that lavender, sweet scent of hers that I’ve missed since last Sunday night. We hang on to each other until she pushes herself down. Fuck if I don’t like that reception.
“I missed you.” I brush some of those wavy strands behind her ear and lean down, kissing her forehead. “Next time I’m packing you and taking you with me.”
She shakes her head and captures my hand while we march toward her place. “I thought you said you weren’t coming until Friday.”
“Change of plans. I have to head to Vancouver. We’re having some issues with the shooting. I’ll stay there until late next week. I decided to make a pit stop for the night, check on you.” I walk to her dining table and look at her laptop. “It’s your day off, so why are you working? Maybe I should take you out to dinner or something, get you out of this building.” I wiggle my eyebrows. “The two of us, together.”
“Are you flirting again, Mr. Decker?” I nod. “We agreed, Matt. Friends. You should try to work things out with Tristan. He really has a thing for you—as do you, for him.”
Two Saturdays ago she was adamant about matching Tristan and me together. She swears Tristan and I have a connection. That we should explore it—let it take us far, let us fall in love with each other. Two weeks and I’m sure I am the one falling for her.
“Tristan has a thing for you too, Thea, and you don’t see me advocating for him.” She rolls her eyes. “If you don’t want to go out, we can order takeout. There’s that Thai place you love.”
“They don’t deliver.”
I wink at her and pull out my phone. “They do for me.”
“This will be the longest time I’ve gone without seeing you,” I whisper in Thea’s ear as I hold her tight.
“No. There were times we didn’t see each other for months.” Her head snuggles closer to the hollow between my chin and my shoulder while she hugs me tightly.
I look down at her, and she tilts her head and smiles at me. Our gazes lock. There it is, the connection between us. I lean down and kiss her forehead, her nose. “Back then it was different, baby. You mean so much more to me now that it’s hard enough to be gone for a couple of days.” She nods up at me, as if she totally understands, and maybe she even has the same feelings. We should discuss it, talk about what these emotions mean to each other. Later, when I’m back.
“I will miss you, Matt. A lot. Thank you for the food . . . and for stopping by.”
Out of impulse, I angle my face in and crush my mouth over hers, kissing her. A sweet whimper cuts through her lips before they part slightly. Her eyes close the moment I taste her. Instead of watching, I do the same, enjoying the sensation that is having her body pressed to mine, so close we’re almost one. I sweep my tongue inside her mouth, meeting hers, getting acquainted with it before they fuse together and start mating. I lead the slow dance, memorizing the feel of her in my arms, her breathing, synchronizing her heartbeat with mine. Loving her.
Fuck. Yep. There it is. I’m. In. Love.
With one smile she took me to a place I never imagined I’d be. It was a slow process in which she let me inside, becoming one with this kiss.
We lose ourselves in that kiss, losing track of everything until she pulls away. “Matt?” She gasps for air and her eyes fill with moisture. “This . . . I can’t. There’s so much you don’t know about me. That I’ll never tell you—I can’t lose you. You’re important to me.”
“I know enough, Thea. Try me, what is it?” She shakes her head and as it drops, my fingers lift her chin. “Baby, please, trust me.”
The sadness in her eyes increases and I’m about to let her go when she finally speaks. “I was ten years old the first time I had a drink. At a party.” She swallows hard. “My driver’s license was revoked before I became a legal adult, after several DUIs and one hit and run. Vodka. That’s my poison. It looks like water, and you don’t stink when you’re drunk. Painkillers are my kryptonite.” She pauses, inhaling audibly. “But I never discriminated. I took whatever was in the house pantry, or my mother’s cabinets if my dealer wasn’t available. It never failed. The refrigerator might not have had food, but there were plenty of bottles of Vodka and wine chilling. My parents are the prime example of party animals. My father has been doing that since he was a teenager.”
What the fuck? I want to push her for more information. Hit a wall. Hurt someone—bad. A ten-year-old with access to alcohol? Where was social services or whatever agency is in charge of caring for children? Any other adult responsible that could take care of the little girl? Instead I hug her tight. Releasing the anger against whoever raised her won’t help her, and she might take it the wrong way. I walk her to the couch, sit down, and hold her tight. Thea’s face is glued against my chest as she cries.
“You were a kid, Butterfly,” I say, angling her head slightly so I can see her. “Did you kill anyone during that hit and run?” She shakes her head. “You’re clean?” She nods, showing me her wrist. 2014. I’ve seen that number before, and wondered why it changed often—daily. “Those are a lot of days. Impressive when you started so young. I’m no one to judge your past, but I can offer to be around to make sure that you have a happy future.”
She bites her lip, fighting hard to keep the tears from flowing freely, but she’s losing the fight. Her body is shaking. Her lip quivers and tears topple one behind the other.
“I hurt for that girl. Sounds like she was alone.” I kiss her forehead, her nose, and her lips. “You’re not alone, Butterfly. No matter what has happened, nothing will change the bond we share. Tonight I’m staying with you.” I touch her silky lips with mine. It’s only for a second, but that simple touch loosens her stiff muscles.
Thea falls asleep, but her sadness remains trapped inside her. Frustration, anger, and the need to find Mr. and Mrs. Dennis to teach them a lesson run through my head. Powerless, I remain on the couch pondering what to do next. I have to leave tomorrow for Vancouver. She was so sad. I wish she could understand that I don’t care who she was, but that I care about who she is and what we can be together. Fear is the biggest concern I have tonight. In my experience, addicts are unpredictable when facing their problems. Flashes of Porter Kendrick, after hearing that AJ was dating, make my body stiffen. He’s my parents’ foster child, became a junky. He almost died. I found him unconscious in his dressing room. The doctor said I saved his life. What if no one is around to save hers?
I find my phone and check my emergency contacts.
“Mattie?”
“Hey, Dad,” I greet him, kissing Thea’s cheek before I speak. “I’m at Thea’s.”
“A little late for house visits, isn’t it?” I mumble a yes. “Is she okay?”
“I don’t know. What did you do when Pops told you . . . that he was, you know, an alcoholic?”
“Ah, she told you.” His worried-confused voice changes to his casual fatherly one. “Babe, Mattie is on the line. I think he needs some guidance.”
“You knew?” I growl. They whisper on the other line, neither one acknowledging me. “Hello?”
“Mattie,” Pops says. “Yes, we knew. Part of the full disclosure to your mentor and future employer. Like many of us, she has a past. It’s up to you what you do with the information she gives you. Accept her, or walk away. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you care for her, don’t you?”
“What I’m worried about is tomorrow. She’s too sad, Pops.” I let out my frustration along with a big breath. “She works at a fucking bar.” I level
my voice before I wake her up. “What if she heads downstairs to drink herself stupid and—”
“Yes, you should ask her about it. Why she works there and what she thinks. That girl has an interesting theory.” He pauses, I guess blocking the phone as their voices are muffled. “Mattie, there might be more behind her past. Think twice before you decide what’s going to be your role in her life. You can always offer her a support system. Once I had mine in place, I never relapsed.”
“Dad, Pops?”
“Yes, him and then the three of you.”
I don’t know how she’ll do tomorrow, but I think about Chris. He never had a family until Gabe came into his life. Gabe gave him my grandparents and then they had us. Thea has no one. But I can always offer her more, including my kickass family.
“Thank you. I gotta go, talk to you later.”
“Call if you need us—or if Thea needs us.”
“Will do.”
I tap the red button and go to my contact list for one person that I know will give a shit about my butterfly.
“Breakfast, planning a trip to Mexico in the middle of the night. Are you bored again? What’s going on, Matt? I’m at work.”
“Can you travel to Seattle tomorrow, Tristan?”
“What happened?”
“Thea. I don’t want her alone, and she needs a friend with her.”
“A friend? Matt, I don’t want to sound like an asshole, but again, I have work to do.”
“I can’t tell you what happened, but I think she needs to be around someone who cares about her.”
“Something happen to her?” His voice deafens me. “Is it bad? Matt, I can’t just leave work because you feel like we should hang out. Can you be more specific?”
“No. I can’t, it’s her story to tell. But I know you care about her almost as much as I do. And if that’s the case, call Mason and have him fly you.” I clear my throat. “She’s in a bad place. Tomorrow I have to fly to Vancouver and can’t come back for almost two weeks. Thea needs to know she’s not alone, that she has us.”
“Don’t leave her until I arrive,” he whispers before the line goes dead.
I fidget with the violet crystal Thea gave me months ago, while waiting for Thea or Matthew to open the door. The irony about the message she tried to deliver when she gifted it to me. You’re not alone. Now I’m only feet away from the same place to reassure her that I’m here for her. I look back at the door as it cracks open.
“You still have it.” Thea’s smile greets me, but the usual brightness in her face is gone. Her long wet hair is hanging down a thin camisole, under it a sports bra.
Fuck, I’m getting hard.
“Of course I have it. It’s not every day that someone gifts you hope.” I shove the crystal back inside my pocket, never moving my eyes from her delicate face. “It’ll be a sin to lose that special item that reminds me that I’m not alone.”
“You must’ve thought that I was crazy.”
“Maybe. Honestly, when I need you close, I just grab on to it for a few minutes. Maybe it’s contagious, because you’re a little crazy, Butterfly.” She chuckles. “But now I know you better, I know that you’re different. Special. Unique.” A strong girl that has me tied into knots. I open my arms for her, and she walks right into them without hesitation, relieving the tension I carried since Matthew called me. “And I also know that you always look happy. Except today. Where’s that smile I love so much?”
She doesn’t respond, but she holds me as tight as I hold her. I inhale that warm-sweet aroma of hers that sends my heart into overdrive.
“It’s good to see you, but why are you here? Didn’t you say that you couldn’t come anymore?” Thea breaks the silence, her words muffled against my chest.
That’s something I can’t answer with honesty. I didn’t want to come because Matthew is stupidly in love with Thea. Fuck, maybe I’m also in that same chapter. In love. There’s no way I’d take Thea away from him. This is a fucked-up mess, and I should be jetting off, but it hurts to stay away when I know they need me.
“Can we take the love fest inside?” Matthew’s low voice questions.
“I thought you left.” Thea pushes herself off my chest. I loosen my hold but reach for her hand, not wanting to lose contact with her.
“No, I’d have said goodbye.” He lifts a plastic bag. “Went home to take a shower, grab my shit for the trip, and brought some groceries. You have this crazy idea that milk comes from coconuts, not from cows.”
Thea rolls her eyes at him, but smiles after he brushes a quick kiss against her lips. He follows that with a peck on mine and climbs the stairs without giving us a second glance. She frowns. I shrug and follow after him, tugging her along.
The apartment is upside down. A yoga matt takes up the only clear path in the tiny area where she lives. Every time I visit this place, the clutter makes me want to leave, but the aroma of incense and freshly cut flowers invite me to stay. It’s a welcome-home scent that makes me forget everything but the two people in front of me.
“Want coffee, Cooperson?” Matthew heads to the kitchenette, looking inside the pot on the stove. “I guess apple oatmeal won over omelets.”
“I told you that I had no eggs, Decker,” Thea protests, and heads to where he stands. “Move aside. I’ll make the coffee and serve you oatmeal. Now can either one of you explain why Tristan is here?”
“Because he has shit to do?” Matt responds in third person, pointing at himself. Thea’s eyes drop halfway and her jaw tenses. “Don’t give me that evil glare. What do you want me to say?”
Thea’s eyes narrow, and I have to admit this is fun. “I told you that I’m okay, I don’t need a babysitter.”
I clear the blankets from the couch and sit down while watching their rant.
She removes some of her bracelets from her wrist and points at the numbers written on it. “2–0-1–5. If I need, I’ll call my sponsor, or—”
“Let’s say you were with a patient, what would you suggest?” Matt questions her. “Not as a temporary fix, but as a more permanent one. A sponsor is only one person. What else are you missing?”
She closes her eyes for a few beats. “Family, friends . . .” She presses her lips against each other, watching him, then me. “My mind knows what I need, but it’s not easy to let the walls down.”
“I get it, you’ve been doing it by yourself,” Matt says, controlling his voice. “But why not let someone else care for you?”
“I’m not ready for this.” Thea points between the two of them. “There’s a long way I have to walk before I can trust being with someone else, Matthew. Trusting that I have someone next to me for support. Never had that before and I can’t deal with the fear of losing you.”
“You won’t, damn it.” Matthew finally moves his gaze to meet mine. “Please talk some sense into her. Can you please explain to her that I won’t leave her? I haven’t left him, and there are reasons why I should’ve dropped his ass long ago.”
“Are you two a couple?” Thea frowns and glares from Matthew to me. I shake my head. “He makes it sound like you are.”
“We slept together for a while,” I confess. “But decided we can handle shit better as friends.”
Matt crosses his arms, narrowing his gaze. “You’re skipping the part where you put me in a closet.” Thea glides her hand over his arm, as if soothing him from some big hurt he received. “Eight weeks of great sex but it hurt both of us. He can’t handle going against his beliefs.”
“Which are?”
Different from the norm?
Thea watches me, her eyes expecting an explanation. There’s no judgment or anger. It’s so easy being with them, explaining what my heart feels against what I was taught should feel natural. As I look at the two of them together, the pinch in my heart becomes the squeeze of a strong fist. I freeze. Fuck, I’m in love with her and falling for him all at the same time. No. There’s no fucking way I can be doing that. Rubbing my temples with both
hands, I talk myself out of this first thought. My worries about her are what brought me here. Later I can entertain any emotions toward Matt. One step at a time.
Rising from my seat I take a deep breath and walk closer to where she stands. “You know, Butterfly. I’m bisexual. But my parents, society, and my religion forbid me to act on it in plain sight. The day after a guy fucks me, the guilt becomes a slab of concrete over my shoulders.” I glance down at the floor, then back at them. “I pushed Matt to do something he hates—hide who he is while he fucked me. Being with a man makes me drink more than I should. It’s the only way I can let myself be myself and forget the blame.”
I can’t raise my eyes to look at either of them. I’ve just exposed myself to two of the most important people in my life. I can’t lose them, but for some absurd reason, I don’t think I will. When I finally look up at Matt, I see my friend—a man who cares for me and accepts who I am. No judgment. Only . . . love? As my eyes shift to Thea, it’s compassion I see. Friendship.
“I can help you with that. We can find a counselor to help you overcome your fears.” Thea slides into that sweet, helping-the-world mode. “You’ll find a way to be comfortable in your own skin with yourself. That’s what’s stopping the two of you.”
“Stopping?” we both ask.
“From falling in love.” She smiles and has this dreaming-of-a-better-tomorrow gaze. The brightness in her face takes over her delicate features. The switch from the dark place to happy place flicks right in front of my eyes. “With each other.”
“Will that make you happy, if I find some help?” Her eager nod pulls on my heartstrings and I want to google the nearest counselor right at this moment. “Maybe I’ll get a therapist, but stop your plans right there. Matthew and I will never work. He’s taken. By you.” She opens her mouth to argue with me, but I hold my finger over her sweet mouth, a mouth I’d rather kiss. “How about we make a deal? Once I find a way to let myself be who I am, I’ll search for my other half. In the meantime you help yourself and lean on us—your friends.” I resist no longer, and gently kiss her forehead. I can’t deny the peace I feel as she accepts my care.
Uncut (Unexpected Book 4) Page 15
