“We trust you. It’s time you give yourself credit and trust yourself.” My mouth reaches for her lips, but the kiss doesn’t last as long.
“See, I have these questions, and my therapist thinks maybe I should start small. One at a time,” she whispers in my ear, hugging my neck. I place my hands on her waist, wishing she is dressed with that barely-there knitted top I found her in earlier. All skin and no fabric. “Why does it always come down to choosing?”
I shrug. “I love you, and Tristan does too. We’re doing this the old-fashioned way.”
“I love you more than yesterday,” she whispers, biting my earlobe. “I can’t wait for tomorrow. I’ll love you even more then.”
“Promise?”
“Always and forever.” She grins. “I can’t believe I fell for you. Still can’t.”
“This coming Friday night I’m taking you out on a date.” I wink at her. Not yielding to questions or protests. Tristan is aware of my plans, and he doesn’t have a problem with it. He took her out last Saturday. “Let’s go, Dad’s waiting for us. He’s bored and maybe creating a show will get him out of Pop’s hair.” I open my door and help her to get down from that awkward position without hurting her.
“Don’t forget my boxes. I’ll be working while we discuss this,” she says, opening the back seat and taking some bags she brought along.
As she steps onto the porch, Dad opens the door and takes the bags she holds with one hand and hugs her with his free arm. Thea’s face brightens, and that face is what makes my entire day. She assures me that loving me is amazing, but being part of the Decker family is the cherry on top of her happiness. I’m glad I can give her that thing she never had—family life.
Matt: Dinner at my parents’.
Coop: It’s Wednesday, not Sunday.
Matt: We’ve been working and Thea offered to cook for my parents. My grandma arrived and now it’s a party.
Coop: Love to, but I don’t have time for those impromptu parties. I have work. See you later tonight. Try not to use our week with Thea at your family’s place.
I don’t even answer that text. After meeting his parents, I understand why he has so much trouble showing any affection. Except to Thea. That woman has a way of drawing so much emotion and affection out of him without even having to ask. Well, if he’s upset by the time we arrive home, she’ll be the one to tame the lion within him.
One more time, I stare at the master schedule on our whiteboard and decide that joining them in the kitchen is a much better idea than trying to continue working by myself. Work can come later, for now I’ll enjoy family time. Savor whatever my girl cooks for us, and enjoy the evening.
Keys, wallet, condoms, and my emergency bag. I make sure nothing is missing and I’m ready for anything with my girl. Tonight we’re out on a date celebrating her counselor’s license. If I play my cards right, maybe I’ll get to fool around, and in case God loves me that much, I bring everything to stay overnight.
Opening the door, I encounter a bare-chested Tristan unloading from the elevator. “You’re leaving?” The ripped abs do their daily job: make me hard. There’s a bulge in my pants within two seconds. He glances down at my dick and grins. “When are you planning on coming back?” He runs his thumb through my jawline. “Or I can take care of it for you, babe. I’m so horny I doubt I need you to prep me.”
My balls twinge with the thought of taking him. I grab him by the shoulders and drag him inside the house, shutting the door. Pulling him in, my hand wraps around his neck, my fingers thread through his hair. I press my lips against his, and he grasps my waist pressing our bodies against each other. He moans against my mouth as I slide my tongue inside his hot mouth. Lowering one hand, I get inside his gym shorts and pump him. I kiss him harder. Our mouths meld as our tongues thrust against each other. My dick is thick, engorged from the months of abstinence. In this frantic moment I want to rip his clothes off and fuck him hard all night. A tone of beautiful purple lights stops every action. She’s waiting for me.
I pull back, releasing his pulsating cock, and push him far enough to level our sights. “Where are we standing, Coop?”
“What do you mean, dude? I live with you, we’re in a threesome.” He takes a step back and shakes his head. His eyes never meet mine. “You’re about to go on a date with her.” His hand points at the bag I left next to the door. “Planning on fucking?” He spits the words. “Who gives you the right to be her first?”
“Is that why you offered yourself to me?” I kick the fucking bag. “So I wouldn’t touch her?”
“Yes, no. Fuck it, Matthew. It’s been months. Months,” he screams. “What are you and I waiting for?”
“For you to stop holding back on me.” The pounding of my heart deafens the scream to stop this discussion. Neither one of us was ready to open another drawer filled with issues. “You were almost there, but since your parents’ visit, you shut us down. Not only me, also Thea. The whore.”
His mother was vicious with his girlfriend and he didn’t kick her out of my house. I had to do it, be the jerk.
“I already talked to my girlfriend about that,” he says, getting in my face. “My relationship with her is none of your business. Are you sleeping with her?”
“My relationship with her is none of your fucking business.” I mimic him, pick up my bag, and slam the door behind me.
“Wanna talk about it?” Thea twirls her colorful lock. “It’s eating you and I’m having trouble eating my appetizer because of your attitude.”
I break the bread, butter it, and feed her. “Eat.”
“Did you have a fight with your boyfriend?” she asks after swallowing the bread.
The waiter chooses that moment to step back to pour some more sparkling water into our glasses. His eyes move from Thea to me. She can’t help but laugh. I’ve been kissing her and flirting with her since we arrived, and now she’s talking about my boyfriend. No wonder the man is about to slap us, or sit down and hear the gossip.
“That sounded bad, didn’t it?” Thea asks the waiter who stares at her. “I swear it’s not what you’re thinking, it’s worse. We’re talking about our boyfriend. We’re a triad.” She winks at him. “Thank you for the water.”
“That’s bold, Butterfly.” I hold my words, not wanting to make a big deal out of the conversation. However, she’s publicly accepting that she’s dating two men. “Any chance that boldness will continue throughout the night?”
Her face turns serious. There’s no flirty smile to match mine, or anything close to a caress that can reassure me that I might get some action. Instead, she slams me with the question one more time. “What happened with Coop, Mattie?”
This different version of Thea makes me believe that we aren’t in individual relationships. Just as Tristan wanted to know if I was going to have sex with Thea, she wants to know what the hell happened between him and me. I clench my teeth, annoyance running freely through my veins. Sensitivity isn’t my middle name, but I like to express my feelings. My sister and I do share that profound artistic gene, so to speak, that in no way translates that I talk everything out. But since I became so close to Thea, everything is about how I feel, what I think . . .
It hits me. “You’re shrinking me.”
She searches my face and begins to laugh. Her fingers start sizing my head, going from a huge gap between them to a small one. “Are you telling me I’ve shrinking rays?”
“No, you’re acting like a shrink, Butterfly. I love you, and spending time with you is my favorite thing to do. Talking about my feelings isn’t. I’m all talked out with you.”
She lifts her palms. “Fine, keep that bitter bug inside you. It is all the same to me.”
I groan, and let everything out because it isn’t fine with her. Nothing of what I say changes her relaxed expression. Not the fact that I had an overnight bag, that I almost had sex with Tristan. That I haven’t followed her advice and had sex with him. While I talk, I hope that nothing I say will
upset her.
“I can’t believe he’s still hung up on it,” Thea blurts, confusing the hell out of me. I lean closer and give her an explain glare. “Yesterday he went to the office at lunch time, brought me food, and groveled because he suddenly regretted the way his mother treated me, and that he became distant afterward.” She shrugs. “We argued. I told him that until he worked his shit, I wouldn’t take any further step with him. He blew a gasket.”
Thea looks up to the ceiling, then at me, and shakes her head. “I adore him, but this is our night, Mattie. Coop has to deal with his shit, the way I’m dealing with mine—confronting myself.”
I take her hand and kiss it, knowing that every other afternoon she heads to a different shrink. Once every two weeks we go to couples counseling, an appointment Coop has missed quite a few times.
“Do you think he’s still seeing his shrink?”
“Mattie, either we forget about him tonight, or we go home and sit down to put this to rest. Your choice.”
That’s an easy choice. I don’t have to think about it twice. “Tonight I’m having you for dessert. At least a nibble, a taste.”
As Thea opens the main door of the building, I eye the windows of the third floor. It’s been so long since the last time I set foot here. Twelve years? College. The year I thought I’d be in frat parties doing crazy shit. In only a few weeks, I was back at home taking classes online and caring for my broken brother.
“Are the roommates gone?” I enter behind Thea without waiting for her to invite me. Tonight I want to stay with her, even if we only kiss one time.
“I don’t know.” Thea fake-shivers as we climb the stairs. “Damn, tonight I’m going to have a hard time falling asleep. Mason swears there’s not one insect within the ten-mile radius of the building. But if I can’t sleep, I’ll be knocking down your door and taking over your guest room.”
“I can keep you company.”
Thea opens the apartment door and I’m amazed to find that the entire apartment has been remodeled. The white walls are gone, transformed by a soft green. Pictures with nature themes cover the walls, and if Arthur Bradley sees this, he might have a heart attack. His somber place is now a hippie-chic spot.
“You totally redecorated this place,” I say, looking at every corner.
“Yeah, Mason said that his father didn’t mind.” She takes me to the bookcase showing me pictures of us. My parents and her, and one of her with Gracie. “I even have pictures now, memories. Thank you.”
“I haven’t done much.” I take her into my arms by the waist, her lips only inches from me. With her perfect height, I don’t have to lean too much to take what’s mine.
“You have shared your family with me, Matt.” She kisses my jaw. “I’ve dared to dream of the possibilities. Not of a normal life, but of our own life. Bumps or not, we’re fighting.”
I don’t feel that I’m fighting as much as she does, that I’ve ever had the battles she has had to face all her life. Parents with addictions, a brother who protected her but one day decided that life wasn’t enough. Her biggest fight might be letting go of her past by letting Coop and I all the way in. Whatever stops her from doing it must be too painful.
“Tell me something, Butterfly,” I whisper, hoping tonight we have a breakthrough.
“My parents used to have parties in the house,” Thea says, leaning her head on my chest. “Big crazy parties where they’d play loud music. Evan, my brother, would hide us in the closet.” Her shoulders rise and drop. “Never knew why, or I don’t remember. For years I slept in that confined place, until I started to party with them or outside with my own friends. My first memory of me sleeping in a bed is . . . in a hospital bed.”
I comb her hair while her hitching breathing begins to even. So many questions pile inside my head. Why were you in the hospital? What happened? What finally made you want to stay clean?
“My system was so used to drinking that the day I began to puke, I was so worried that I went to the ER, thinking someone had poisoned me—paranoia.” She releases a humorless chuckle. “Drugs, they impair your common sense.” Her head tilts, her eyes find me. They’re shaking, a bluer tint taking over the purple. “I was pregnant.”
What the fuck? My heart slams against my chest. Her eyes close, tears roll down her cheeks.
“He made me stop. A small person I hadn’t met became my miracle,” she whispers. “I couldn’t be like my parents. Even when I had no idea who the father was, or that I was only seventeen, I had to do better for him. I loved that baby. A nurse from the hospital, and Molly, an old friend of mine, helped me. I was in rehab for almost ten months.” Thea closes her eyes again, and remains silent for a long time. I hold her tighter against my body, knowing that there’re no words that can take away the pain she went through. It’s a miracle that she remains sober, and sane. “A loving couple from Texas adopted him. We met for only seconds. I held him for less than a heartbeat before they took him away. He saved my life, and makes me want to be a better person every day.”
“In college I made friends.” A second wave of confessions follows, and I want her to stop, because I fear that another nervous breakdown may follow. But she’s more composed. “Met a guy. They . . . used me.” She continues with the tale and like many of her stories, her fucking father was involved. “I relapsed, and then learned to keep myself away from everyone. You’re the first person I opened up to since then. Coop was the second.”
Hearing that makes me love her even more if that’s possible, and I wish there was a way to show her that she’s become my world.
“I trust you. I love you. Do you think you can love me tonight?” Her words send a surge of electricity that powers my entire body, causing a huge explosion inside my chest, and fills my heart with an inexplicable emotion. An emotion that is beyond love and adoration. “Show me what I’m supposed to feel when I’m touched by someone I love.”
Before today I’ve never had the desire that I have tonight. Wishing that each time I touch her, she’ll feel my love for her. Wishing every stroke sends the right message to her heart, that even when I want her to feel good, I want her heart to know that I’m giving her my entire soul.
“You need me to show you love, Thea?” My heart sings while my head laughs at what this woman is asking from me. “Baby, you brought joy to my life, peace to my soul, and filled my existence with love. The moment you took hold of my heart, I knew you were meant for me. What I’m trying to say is that you’re love. What I feel goes beyond it and there are no words to explain. The only thing I know is that my soul merged with yours through that emotion and it will remain like that for eternity. No one has the power to separate us ever again.”
“Coop?” she murmurs.
My beautiful woman can’t be selfish for one night, and that confirms why I love her beyond anything imaginable. “I hope and pray that he catches up with us, as my heart knows that we need him.”
I take her lips, kissing her with pure adoration. She sighs as I kiss her, and for one moment I remember everything that she’s gone through.
“Stop,” she mumbles against my lips. “Please don’t think of anything that can tarnish tonight. Love me as if it was my first time, erase all the bad from the past.”
Those desperate words are enough to remind me that tonight will be considered my first time. I’ve never been with someone I’m in love with. I gently lift her into my arms, guiding her toward her bedroom.
Matt settles me back on the ground, my feet unable to support me as they tingle just as my entire body does. Expectant to what will happen. It’s been a roller coaster kind of day. Smiles, laughs, joy, tears, my painful past making a guest appearance. It’s him, the way he gently handles every part of me, even my soul. Tonight I’m promised a night that I’ll remember as the most loving one between the two of us.
“Don’t overthink,” he whispers, pulling me closer to him, until I’m flattened against his solid chest. His eyes darken, and the grin transforms in
to a mischievous one.
“Tell me what feels good, Butterfly.” His low voice sucks all the air from my lungs, and my legs wobble. If I keep standing, I fear I’m going to fall flat on my ass. He directs me to the bed and claims my mouth with a glorious kiss, a soft tongue, sweeping across, as if taking a taste of the best piece of cake. It erases every single thought, even my name. As his mouth conquers mine, a throaty moan escapes me. Matt groans when my tongue follows his, sliding into his mouth hungrily. I tangle my fingers into his shaggy hair, holding tight while his arms slide underneath my dress. He runs his fingers up my back and over my bare skin.
“Matt.” I let out a breathy moan along with his name when his lips move along my jaw.
“What do you need, Thea?” His lips fall to my shoulder, where he nips and kisses his way to the other side. His fingers find my aching, throbbing pussy. They are so close. I arch into him, seeking release. “Do you want me to make it feel better?” I moan a yes. “Anything for you, Butterfly.”
He releases me, pushing himself off the bed, and tugging at the neck of his shirt to pull it off. My eyes admire his defined chest, marked arms, and inked skin. His hands work the button of his jeans, until suddenly they stop.
“You’re gorgeous,” he says. I grip the comforter not sure of what to say, or just enjoy the way his eyes travel over my body, as if enjoying a masterpiece. “Trust me to love you, Butterfly.”
My heart jolts.
I nod and that one sentence is all it takes. An unexpected force comes to life. My heart grows several sizes and something inside me disappears.
“Stand up,” his silken voice orders, and I do. He pulls down the strapless dress I wear and I’m left with only my silky panties on. “Fuck. Fuck. You wore almost nothing underneath.”
“Love me.” The two words are a combination of a plea and an order.
His lips are close to mine. “I will,” he breathes against them before he takes my mouth, sliding in his tongue. We are pressed against each other, my arms gripping his shoulders as he lowers me against the bed.
Uncut (Unexpected Book 4) Page 23
