“You and that gun!” Jason’s lips twisted.
“I take care of myself, Jason,” she retorted defensively.
He nodded. “So I see. I’m sorry I ran out—or that it seemed that way to you—and I’m sure it did. I was trying to protect you, Ken. You, and Mom and Dad.”
“You might as well have put a bullet in them yourself,” Kendi said quietly. “Mom never stopped looking for you to come back to us one day. But Dad knew you wouldn’t—he told me so, after Mom died. When you didn’t come to the funeral, he told me he was changing his will—leaving everything to me. He told me that if you wouldn’t come back for her funeral, you must be dead.”
Jason had been looking at the floor as Kendi spoke. When he raised his head, his eyes glittered with moisture. “I was dead, Ken...to all of you. I was trying to protect you. I changed my name—legally changed it. I didn’t want them to be able to trail me back here—back home.”
“Them? You mean this Sanchez person?”
Jack nodded, giving his partner time to get control of his emotions. “Sanchez—and a hundred others just like him, Kendi. They’ll stop at nothing. Your brother did the right thing.”
Kendi leaned against him, relaxing, letting the tension flow out of her muscles. She’d been angry at Jason so long that Jack knew this wasn’t going to be resolved overnight. But this was a good start. Problem was—they were both right. She was right to be angry with Jason for his disappearing act, but keeping completely out of his family’s lives had been the right thing, too. Kendi would come around eventually. She was hurt. Jason would understand that, and he’d have to deal with it.
Jack looked at his partner’s bleak expression. “So, Bull and Sanchez left, you said? Any ideas as to where they went?”
Jason sighed. “No, but Sanchez called me a few minutes later and told me they couldn’t find your body. He asked where I was, and I told him I’d gone to get something to eat. He told me it sounded like I was outside.”
Jack gave a grim smile. “He has you by the short hairs, partner.”
“I’m going back. I’ll have to keep that meeting tomorrow morning, no matter what. Maybe I can stop him from coming back out here, somehow. We’re too close—”
“No. Jason, he knows. He’s just playing with you to see what you’ll do.”
“He’s not sure.”
“He doesn’t have to be! He’ll kill you to be on the safe side. You’re dead if you meet with him.”
“That shipment will be there day after tomorrow!”
“It won’t matter if you’re dead!”
Jason stopped in disbelief, then grinned. “Well, listen to you! I didn’t think you cared if you lived or died. Could’a fooled me when Sanchez was beatin’ the hell out of you. I thought we had at least that one thing in common.”
Jack sighed raggedly. “I didn’t care then—now, it’s important.”
Jason’s gaze flicked Kendi. “What a difference a few nights make.”
Jack started up, but Kendi’s fingers wrapped around his arm, staying him. “Yes, they do make a difference, Jason,” she answered coldly. “Up until last Friday night, I had no idea you could be so outright cruel. Leaving Jack out there by the creek bank was...surprising.” She let the sarcasm drip from the word before she continued. “Not much of a partner—are you? Come to think of it, you weren’t much of anything—a partner, a son, or a brother. Odd, that now, after all these years, you choose to get all protective over who I fall in love with.”
“In love!” Jason sputtered. “I...Kendi, you’re not in love with him! My God, you just met him a few days ago! How can you say you’re in love—”
“Because,” she interrupted firmly, “I am. Don’t try to make something cheap of it. I realize your relationships may be of the dime store variety, but that doesn’t mean we all share your shallow values.”
Jason didn’t respond for a long moment. His jaw twitched, and he looked at Kendi as if seeing her for the first time. Then, he slowly turned to look at Jack. “Set her straight, Jack. Tell her. You know this isn’t right—you don’t love her. You’re not capable.”
Jack shook his head. “You’re wrong, Jason. This is—” He broke off, searching for the words he needed. “This is more right than I’ve felt in my life. I know it’s hard for you—a lot to handle at once. But you’re overreacting.”
“You’re sacrificing the assignment!”
“No,” Jack said harshly. “Look at me, Jason. I wanted this bust every bit as much as you did. Hell, I was willing to die for it. But it’s over. They’ve made you, and you’re dead meat if you go back.”
Jason stood quietly, not saying anything. Finally, he gave a mirthless chuckle. “So, what now? They killed my sister, Heather.” His voice was low. “The world’s full of them.”
“I know. But—maybe it’s time we started looking to life now, instead of at death. Don’t you ever get tired of it? I lost someone, too. It does something to you inside. I understand.”
Jason’s face twisted. “No, you don’t! I swore I’d do what I could, for as long as I could—”
Jack stood up stiffly and moved to stand by his partner. He put his bandaged hands out and grasped Jason’s arms, meeting his eyes. “Don’t you think we’ve all made that vow, Jason? Every one of us in the Agency? Yeah, it’s good money, but that’s not why we’re here. Every one of us has a personal reason. I’m just sayin’ now...for me...here is where it ends.”
He turned to look over his shoulder at Kendi, who was sitting on the bed, knees drawn up, arms wrapped around them. She looked lost, and hurt. Even though she’d been spitting fire at her brother minutes earlier in Jack’s defense, he knew it had drawn deeply on her reserves. Now, his primary concern had to be her. He turned back to Jason. “I’m done. This is it. I want a life, Jason. I’ve found what I need. Right here.”
Jason nodded, finally. He seemed resigned to what Jack was saying, though not totally convinced. “I hear you, partner. And,” he added after a moment, “I’m glad. I really am...glad...for both of you.” He turned toward the door as Jack let go of him.
“Jason?” Kendi spoke from where she sat, and Jason looked back at her. “Where are you going?”
He shrugged. “Jack’s done, Kendi. But, I’m not.”
Jack sighed. “So, what are you gonna do? Go back and get yourself killed?”
At that, he gave a faint smile. “You just stay here and protect my sister, Taylor. You’re already dead—remember? Free pass.”
“I’m sorry, Jason.” Kendi finally let go of her grip around her knees and unfolded her long legs. She stood up and walked around the bed. “I know you believe you were doing the right thing. I just have to accept that. But please, don’t go back.”
“I have to, Ken.”
“But, Jack’s right! If they suspect you, they’ll kill you, too!”
“If I can last another day or two, we can make the bust—put them all away for good.”
Jack shook his head. “It’s no good, Jason.”
Jason stood undecided, his hand on the doorjamb. He looked away, his thoughts weighing heavily. He slapped the doorframe in frustration. “Damn it!”
Jack’s lips curved up. “I know. A lot of work down the drain, but we know enough of the players to put them away, even if we aren’t sure yet who’s coming in on the other end.”
“I want ’em all.”
Jack chuckled at the morose note in his partner’s tone. “I do, too. But not enough to die for them. Not anymore.”
Jason nodded, meeting Jack’s steady look. “All right.” He looked uncertainly at Kendi. She came toward him with hesitant steps. He opened his arms and she hugged him, laying her head on his shoulder.
“I’ve missed you, Jason,” she told him simply.
“Yeah,” he responded gruffly. “Me, too.”
Jack turned back to the bed. He wasn’t strong enough yet. He couldn’t stand upright for long without his ribs screaming for relief. He sat down on the mattr
ess slowly, grimacing at the sharp reminders lancing through his left side.
“I’ll just go bring in some firewood,” Jason said, clearing his throat. “Earn my keep around here.”
Kendi smiled as he pulled out of her embrace and started for the door. “Thanks, Jason. It’s a pain lugging it up those stairs.”
He laughed and shook his head in remembrance. “Yep, that was always one of my chores. You and Heather got out of that, being girls.”
Kendi giggled. “You looked pretty silly that time Mom decided to make us trade places, remember? You in the kitchen wearing one of her aprons, and having to help bake—”
“Uh—” He shot Jack an embarrassed glance, but couldn’t keep the answering smile from his lips at Jack’s grin. “I remember, Ken.”
Turning back toward the door, he ducked his head to hide the flush in his cheeks, walking into the hallway. “I’ll just be a minute,” he called back to them, his footsteps fading.
Chapter Twelve
Kendi glanced at Jack. “Okay, let me have a look at that hand.” She shook her head, fretting and fussing over the bandage as she sat beside him and began to unwrap the gauze. “How’d you do this?”
“Getting dressed,” he answered absently.
“I thought so.”
Something wasn’t right. Jack remained silent as she gently cleaned the blood off. He barely felt the sting of the medicine she applied. His neck prickled in apprehension, and that was a warning sign he knew better than to ignore. He felt uneasy—restless.
“Jack?”
“Hmm?”
“Everything okay?” Kendi wrapped the clean strip of bandaging around his palm, her green eyes filled with concern.
He didn’t want to alarm her, but this feeling—it was so strong, he couldn’t ignore it.
“Is it Jason?” she asked when he didn’t answer. “Something he did or said—”
“Uh-uh.”
“Then, what?”
What? Something he couldn’t name or explain—a “feeling” he couldn’t describe. He sighed. “Kendi, something’s wrong. I don’t know what yet, but...I feel it. I want you to promise me—”
She leaned toward him. “You think they’re here again? That they came back to see if they can find your—your body?” Her hands shook as she tore off the last piece of medical tape and taped the bandage in place.
After a moment, he nodded. “If they aren’t out there now, they soon will be. They’re not going to give up. Do you know where the cave is that Jason was talking about?”
Her look was rueful. “Of course. He ran me out of there plenty of times—said it was a Boys Only cave, and there was bad medicine there for any girl who entered.”
He smiled. “That sounds like him.” Searching her gaze, he became serious again. “I want you to go there and hide. Don’t come out, no matter what.”
“Leave you? I can’t do that!” Her lips trembled, and she looked down. “I won’t run out on you, Jack. Please don’t...don’t ask me to do that. I know what it feels like.” Tears glistened in her eyes when she met his once more. “I could never do that to you.”
Jack’s heart flooded with a dam burst of emotion. Heedless of his freshly-bandaged hand, he pulled Kendi to him, his fingers spearing into her hair at the nape of her neck. Her lips parted just as his mouth crushed hers in a kiss that ripped the breath from them both, fusing them as one.
He was hungry for her, wanting her—needing her. Her hands came up to his battered face, as if she meant to touch his cheeks, his neck. Then remembered she couldn’t. His lips curved under her mouth, and she lifted her head, breathing hard. Jack lay back on the bed, propped on the pillows.
“It won’t always be this way, Kendi.” He couldn’t keep the self-satisfied tone out of his voice.
“I wish I could kiss it and make it better.”
He grinned. “I know where you could start.”
“That,” she retorted, “was the only place on your body they missed.”
“Not entirely,” he murmured, remembering the rocketing punch Sanchez had delivered to his groin just before they threw him into the pickup bed.
Kendi leaned down to kiss him again, but gently this time. “Promise me we’re going to have an ‘always’, Jack.”
He savored the kiss she gave him, his lips close to hers as she pulled back after a moment. “I wish I could.” He looked away, and Kendi glanced down.
“I wish we could make love again,” she whispered.
“Hang out the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign.”
She grimaced. “I don’t think Jason would let it stand. He’d be hollering, ‘You okay in there, Kendi?’ like he’s going to make everything right after twelve years of invisibility.” She shook her head. “We’re going to have to set some rules—I can see that right now. He can’t just come back and take up where he left off.”
Jack laughed. “I think he’ll comply as long as you’ve got him looking down the business end of that .44. You didn’t wing him downstairs, did you?”
“No.” She was quiet, the crackle of the fire the only sound. “But I would have, Jack. If I thought he was going to hurt you—” She looked up, her eyes holding his, “—I would’ve shot my own brother.” She said it wonderingly, and Jack pulled her to him wordlessly. From outside, they could hear the sound of Jason stacking firewood into the carrier, the echo of it ringing hollow and muffled in the snow-covered stillness.
“Jason’s not gonna hurt me, Ken. We’re partners, close as brothers, in some ways.” He felt her heartbeat quicken where she lay across him and knew she was thinking maybe that didn’t mean much—what he’d said about being as close as brothers, in light of what she’d just realized about herself.
“I’ll never forgive him for leaving you out there.” Her body tensed, her voice a thin whisper.
Jack wrapped his fingers in the fiery silken curtain of her hair and closed his eyes. There was no way to explain it to her—the training they’d undergone, the tearing apart and rebuilding of their ideas of right and wrong. They had come to understand the mission was more important than the individuals seeing it through.
Telling her he trusted Jason with his life would be meaningless, since their training ensured they thought of life only secondary to the mission. Kendi wouldn’t understand how anything could be more precious than life—and now, neither could he.
Funny, how a way of thinking could turn on a dime. A few days ago, he’d just been grateful his partner had been granted the “kill” and that Jason had been able to pull off such a trick. Jack had been sure he’d end up with a well-placed bullet somewhere and that Jason would be doing him a kindness by doing so. He’d considered himself fortunate not to have to endure it. Lying on the side of the creek bank in freezing rain, after being rolled down an embankment, had been bad enough, given the earlier torture he’d already endured. Yet, he’d been grateful to be spared the extra bullet hole he’d thought was inevitable. In Kendi’s eyes, he could understand how crazy that could seem.
“I know you don’t understand, Kendi. I know it must seem like Jason didn’t care, but that’s how we’re trained—to sacrifice everything for the success of the mission.”
She listened, but she wasn’t buying it. Her body was tense, and she didn’t speak. He tried again. “Kendi, I would’ve had to do the same thing if it had been reversed. It’s our training—”
“Then I’d say my brother was very well-trained, Jack. He gave up everything—including his family. H-he killed our parents, all because he went off the deep-end over our sister Heather’s death.” She shook her head, the satin of her lip caught in her teeth. Memories of her older sister’s death washed over her like a river, the unsettling, familiar current dragging at her.
She’d been seven, her sister, fourteen. Drugs, the policeman had told her parents. An accidental overdose.
Kendi remembered the way her mother had looked that night. She’d never forget it. Her father had tried to be stoic, but it had broken him.
He’d never been the same. Kendi had been raised by two ghosts.
But vengeance and hatred wouldn’t solve anything. Her brother had certainly proved that. He had withdrawn from the family after Heather’s death. When she overdosed, she’d killed their entire family. And Kendi had been left to fend for herself in the world of the living.
“I want to be able to forgive him. He’s my brother. But if you had seen them...it was pathetic. If he’d just explained—”
The gunshot blast from the fringe of the woods was deafening in the peaceful silence. Jason’s startled yell of pain was almost simultaneous. Kendi’s heart stopped. She jumped to her feet, starting for the window, only to be jerked back by Jack’s hand as he grasped her wrist.
In a fluid movement, he was standing beside her, turning her forcibly to look at him. “Kendi! Stay away from the window!” She fought him only briefly, remembering with some part of her that his hands were damaged, hurting; and that chances most likely were Jason had been killed with the single blast of the shotgun. Jack shook her, and she stopped fighting completely. Her eyes pooled with tears at the knowledge Jason probably wasn’t waiting on her forgiveness any longer. Jack let go of her, then turned back to the bed to snatch the .38 from under the pillow. “Where’re the shells for this thing?”
Kendi reached to wipe her eyes as she turned and headed for her dresser, pulling open the top right drawer. She ran her hand under the stacks of panties and bras, coming up with a half-empty box of bullets, and handed it to him.
“What about the .44? Got any more bullets for that?” He broke the .38 open, checking to be sure all the chambers were loaded as he spoke.
She nodded. “In here.” She pulled the closet door open and reached for the ammunition, handing it to him. “Is he dead...do you think?” Her voice was a mere whisper.
He looked up briefly from his expert reloading. “I don’t know. But we’re gonna be if we don’t figure out something.” He pushed the box of shells into his pocket, shrugging into the borrowed shirt he’d worn earlier without buttoning it. Barefoot, he walked to the window and lifted a corner of one of the blinds to look out, jamming the .38 into his waistband.
Beyond the Fire Page 10
