by Lucy Score
I pointed to an empty picnic table under a copse of trees, and we snagged it and sat.
We ate in silence, staring off at the blue of the lake, the reflections of the sun on its choppy surface.
“What would you be doing on a morning like this a couple of weeks ago?” I asked Jonah.
He chewed his mouthful of pepperoni goodness and thought. “I’d be telling Mike that he didn’t need that donut, and if he thought about it again, he’d have to give me twenty.”
“Why can’t Mike have the donut?”
“Because he paid me a lot of money to be his personal trainer. And part of that job was slapping food out of his hands. Same with his wife Betsy who did listen to me and dropped thirty pounds over the course of a year.”
“Do you like what you do?” I asked. I’d been giving a lot of thought to actually loving something versus doing what was expected. The difference had never been more striking.
“Yeah. I do. The human body is an amazing thing. It’s capable of miracles, even with all the abuse and donuts we heap upon ourselves,” Jonah said.
I stared out at the lake and thought about the toll I’d allowed stress to take on me. How much better I felt now that I was—sporadically—putting forth a physical effort.
“How about you?” Jonah asked.
I sighed. “If we were in session, I’d be sitting surrounded by my party delegates while we tried to stop the other side from accomplishing anything. Then, around lunch time, we’d switch. There were some days that felt like our entire focus was stopping the state from accomplishing anything.”
“How about when you weren’t in session?”
“I’m a partner in the family law firm. There are always cases to consult on, court dates, clients.”
“Sounds busy,” Jonah ventured.
I shrugged. “Most of my time was spent focusing on how to get to the next step. How to get re-elected. How to go from state legislator to federal. Who to meet. Who to side with. Who to befriend.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes watching everyone else around us.
“Do you ever feel like your whole life is in limbo?” Jonah asked finally.
“Only from the second I wake up until I close my eyes at night.”
He gave a half laugh. “What are we doing here?” he asked. Jonah didn’t mean here at the lake on a weekday morning.
“I’m not sure. Recuperating? Restarting? Reviving?”
“Until I got here, I didn’t even know I had anything to recuperate from,” Jonah admitted.
“I guess sometimes it can just sneak up on you.”
“Did you like your life? I mean, before here.”
“I thought I did. Until it all fell apart, and then I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I felt happy. You?”
Jonah shrugged. “I don’t know. I was happy. I liked my job, my apartment, my life. But maybe something always felt like it was missing?”
I nodded. “And if you just kept busy, just kept moving forward, maybe that feeling would go away.”
“Yeah. I didn’t want my mom to ever think that she wasn’t enough. That I was wishing for a father she couldn’t give me.”
“Have you told her you’re here?” I asked.
He blew out a breath and wadded up the wax paper from his pepperoni roll. “Yeah. After Scarlett gave you the albums to give to me. It wasn’t a great conversation. But I wasn’t going to lie to her about where I am and what I’m doing.”
“Do you think the Bodines are the missing piece?”
He arched an eyebrow at me. “Do you think Scarlett Bodine is your missing piece?” he shot back.
“I’d like to request a recess,” I joked.
“Motion denied.”
I tilted my head back, enjoying the feel of the sun warm on my face. “I don’t know what I think. But I sure like her, and I sure like this pepperoni roll.”
“I guess that’s good enough for today. You know, sooner or later, we’re both going to have to decide if it’s time to move on, stay put, or go back.”
Sooner or later was not today.
We headed home happy to have at least left the house.
I unlocked the front door—a habit I just couldn’t quite give up—and let us in. I was delighted to spy a lithe brunette lounging on the back deck.
“What do you know?” Jonah said. “You did will her to appear.”
“Must have been the hot springs,” I joked. I headed down the hallway and crossed the living room, trying not to appear too eager. When I opened the deck door, Scarlett tilted her head backwards and raised her sunglasses.
“Hi,” I said quietly.
“Howdy, neighbor.”
“Long time, no see.”
She grimaced. “Yeah, about that...”
I shook my head. “Yeah, about that...” I parroted. I wished I could see her eyes because something flickered across her face, an emotion I couldn’t quite define.
“I had a rougher time than I thought at Daddy’s house. Thank you for verbally kicking my brothers’ asses.”
“It had to be done.”
She nodded. “It did, and maybe my own needed a little kick too to finally tell them I didn’t want to do all this on my own.”
“I just hope it wasn’t too little too late.”
She stood and padded to me barefoot. Her toenails were sparkly red. She slipped her lean arms around my waist and squeezed. “I have a favor to ask you, but first I was wondering if Jonah would like to see some more albums. I brought mine.”
She wasn’t telling me everything, and I already knew what that felt like, already knew what that did to a relationship. I wasn’t signing up for that again.
“I think Jonah would appreciate that,” I said stiffly. I pulled out of her embrace to leave.
“It doesn’t have anything to do with you, Dev,” she said. “It’s a family thing.”
That was one thing I did understand: family secrets. Everything my family did was cloaked from the outside world so as to remain above reproach in public. A shiny veneer cloaking the humanity beneath.
I nodded, still not appeased. “I’ll get Jonah.”
I found him inside flipping through a fishing magazine. God, we both needed to get a life. And soon. “Hey, Scarlett has something for you,” I said, jerking my head toward the deck.
He straightened out of his slump on the couch.
“Cool. Hey, listen. I noticed you’ve been working out a bit. If you need any guidance, I can help.”
“It beats sitting around waiting on the Bodines,” I said.
He gave a crooked grin. “Ain’t that the truth.”
I left them alone and powered up my laptop in the little room Estelle had converted into an office on the first floor. For the first time since I’d laid eyes on Scarlett, I wondered if I was making a mistake staying here.
There were more emails from my attorney. One from Blake, the PR rep, and two from Johanna herself. They’d been sent two days apart. Just seeing her name in my inbox sent my blood pressure skyrocketing. I was a bandage ripper. I always had been, at least until my life imploded leaving me abundantly cautious... or cowardly. I opened them both and held my breath.
To: Devlin
From: Johanna
Subject: Us
I think we need to talk. Please call me.
J
To: Devlin
From: Johanna
Subject: Need to talk
I think I made a mistake.
J
I didn’t ask to be her ex. She’d given me no choice. But there was nothing gratifying about seeing that email. She had made a mistake, but I had no interest in fixing it. It had been a mistake to marry on the premise as tenuous as shared goals. People changed. Goals changed. I’d married a teammate, not a soulmate. And that teammate had let me down. I wasn’t going to hang around waiting for her to do it again.
I decided not to respond. I didn’t owe her anything. Not with the generous pre-nup that our
marriage had been built upon. Not with the divorce settlement that our attorneys had hashed out. I was done.
I opened the attorney’s email next. Antonia was a partner in my family’s law firm. Smart, sharp, and mean as a snake when it came to negotiations.
To: Devlin
From: Antonia
Subject: Divorce update
The papers will be signed and filed within two weeks. You’re almost a free man. Try not to fuck it up.
Antonia
I skimmed Blake’s email. It was more of the same. With an interesting tidbit at the end. Stephan Channing, a fellow legislator, was under investigation by an ethics committee for improper conduct. Word on the street was sexual harassment that escalated into the state senator being reported for trespassing at the homes of two female aides.
This could be your ticket back. Keeping my ear to the ground for more news.
A new scandal meant mine could be quietly swept under the rug. By the time my next session began, my divorce would be settled, and someone else would be under the microscope. I’d be free to start back on my path.
Why didn’t that make me feel vindicated? Bootleg was messing with my motivation.
I answered a few more emails, scrolled through my texts, and gave my two cents on a few cases at the firm. I touched base with my assistant who’d become rather free range since my abrupt departure, and we discussed the latest rounds of invites and events. The only one that sounded remotely interesting to me was an outdoor barbeque reception for Maryland Legal Aid, a cause I was particularly passionate about. The event was in Annapolis tonight.
I could make it. But did I want to test the waters?
I put it on the back burner along with the handful of requests for comment from a few of the more tenacious media members who bypassed the family mouthpiece. It appeared that interest in my divorce was indeed fading.
“Devlin!” Two voices called in sing-song.
I sighed and closed my laptop. “What?” I called back.
“Come out here,” Scarlett pleaded.
I took my time, stopping for a glass of water in the kitchen before joining them on the deck.
“Devlin, look what Jonah’s mama sent him,” Scarlett said, tapping a photo album with her unpainted fingernail.
“I told her we were exchanging childhood memories, and she reluctantly agreed to send this,” Jonah explained. “It’s my early years.”
The picnic table was scattered with other albums, Scarlett’s I guessed. The resemblance between Jonah and the rest of the Bodines in childhood was unmistakable.
“Is your mama okay with you bein’ here?” Scarlett asked, flipping the page and cooing over a little Jonah on a spotted pony.
Jonah kicked back in his chair. “She’s not thrilled, but she did overnight the album.”
Scarlett raised her gaze to mine. “I can understand how family bonds get tricky.”
She was sending me a message, begging me to understand. I looked away.
“What’s your mama like?” Scarlett asked Jonah.
“She’s the best. Tough lady. Takes no crap but has a real soft center.”
“She sounds wonderful. I hope I can meet her sometime. Is there anything you want to know about our daddy?” she asked softly.
Jonah looked pensive for a moment. “I don’t know. I guess, was it all bad? Did I miss out on not having him around?”
Scarlett sat thoughtfully with the questions. “It wasn’t all bad, no. But it was all inconsistent. Never knowing if you were coming home to happy Mom and Dad or miserable Mom and Dad. That takes a toll. Daddy got worse after Mama died. There wasn’t much good after that. You had to look for it pretty hard. But I still would have liked for you to get to know him. At least then you’d have some answers.”
They flipped through photos and shared stories. And from the outside, I could see the bond they were forging strengthen. Scarlett was claiming Jonah as family. I wondered what she’d do when he decided to go back or move on. I wondered what she’d do when I decided.
After a while, Jonah excused himself to make some calls, and I took his seat at the table next to Scarlett.
“Gibson and I are fightin’,” she admitted as she packed up her albums into the tote.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It was a long time coming,” she sighed. “Can I ask you that favor now?” Her sweet gray eyes pleaded with me.
“Sure,” I said. Just because she was asking didn’t mean I had to say yes. She shut me out, and thanks to my family’s reaction to my failed marriage and the near implosion of my career, I had a sore spot in that area.
“I was wondering if you wanted to get away for a night? You know. Get out of Bootleg and go someplace.”
“Don’t you have work?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I have a handyman I can pawn the maintenance calls off on for twenty-four hours or so.”
“Where do you want to go?” I asked.
“Anywhere.”
34
Scarlett
“Are you sure I’m dressed all right?” I asked, brushing my palms over the hem of my strapless sun dress. It was blue and white with giant flowers all over it. The waist nipped in and the skirt flared out. I’d bought it on a whim and found no occasions to wear it in Bootleg.
“You look amazing,” Devlin assured me. He was wearing stone gray trousers and a simple white button-down that looked way too good on him.
“I feel pretty fancy for a barbeque,” I confessed.
He grinned at me from behind his sunglasses as he drove. And my heart gave that awkward flip-flop. He seemed less mad at me now, and I was grateful for it. I didn’t like keeping secrets, but this was one mess I wasn’t eager to drag anyone into.
“It’s a pretty fancy barbeque,” he said.
“What if I don’t fit in?” I asked.
“Is that fear I hear? Who are you, and what have you done with Scarlett?” he teased.
“I’m not scared,” I said, horrified at the accusation. “I’ve just never gone to a political function with my politician boyfriend before.”
“I think you’ll be just fine. Keep in mind that they’re all people too.”
“Yeah,” I scoffed. “People with trust funds and ivy league degrees. I’m Scarlett Bodine from Bootleg, West Virginia. My roots include an alcoholic daddy and a bootleggin’ great-granddad.”
I laughed. “Everyone’s got their dirty little secrets. They’re just not as up front about them as you are.”
“Will Johanna be there?” I asked.
The smile evaporated from his face, and I wished I hadn’t asked the question.
“She won’t be, but people who know her—knew us—will be.”
“Do you want me to pretend we’re not having sex?” I offered. If he said yes, I was going to forget that I was trying to make it up to him for avoiding him.
“Scarlett, I don’t want you to pretend anything ever with me. Least of all that everything’s okay when it clearly isn’t.”
Ah, shit. A direct hit.
“I know I owe you an explanation.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“And I know I owe you an apology.”
“Yep.”
“But I can’t give you an explanation because I don’t want to drag you into family business. And I’m no damn good at apologies.”
“So I’m just supposed to leave it at that?” Devlin didn’t look happy.
“No! You’re supposed to let me make it up to you.”
He muttered something under his breath about the “fucking Bodines,” and we rode the rest of the way to Annapolis in silence.
I’d been here years ago in junior high for a field trip. But back then, I’d been more interested in flirting with boys and giggling with Cassidy to pay much attention.
“This is the cutest town I’ve ever seen,” I said, peering through the window at the red brick buildings and narrow streets. “It’s so neat and tidy.”
�
�There’s the marina,” Devlin said, pointing through the windshield. Sailboats and fishing boats bobbed tied up to docks and mooring balls. A huge wooden schooner cruised out into open water. “And down this street is where I used to live. The house went up for sale as part of the divorce settlement.”
“Where do you live now?” I asked, craning my neck to get a better look at his past.
“My family has a condo no one was using. It’s mine to use until I figure out what I’m doing next.”
I didn’t say anything, but I linked my fingers through his. I wondered if he noticed how he tensed up when he talked about the unknown of the future.
“So where is this shindig tonight?” I asked, changing the subject.
Fifteen minutes later, we’d left the city limits behind us and turned onto a paved private drive that snaked its way toward the bay. I whistled when the house came into view. It was a sprawling New England Colonial with dark, faded cedar shingles and trim. The dizzying rooflines made the home look even grander. There was a fountain in the center of the circular driveway. And between the house and the glint of the bay stood a huge white tent billowing in the breeze. Devlin pulled his SUV up to the front porch, and I eyed the long line of brand new cars that looked like they were on a luxury car lot.
“This is Dr. and Mrs. Contee’s house. They’re hefty campaign donors with a laundry list of pet causes. Tonight we’re raising awareness for Maryland Legal Aid.”
My hands had gone icy in my lap. I didn’t usually intimidate easily. But I felt like I’d turned into Cinderella for a night when all I really wanted to be was a pumpkin... or a bumpkin.
I stuck my chin out. I was going to be the best damn bumpkin these folks had ever had the misfortune of meeting.
Devlin squeezed my hand as if he was reading my mind. “If you’re not having a good time, we can leave at any time,” he promised.
I nodded.
“And they’re probably going to pump you for information about the divorce, my work, bad blood between me and Johanna’s whatever-he-is. They’re going to assume that you’re a gold digger or that we were also having an affair. Also, they won’t say anything bad to your face. So, take comfort in that.”
