Even if death is inevitable, we still fight it, she thought as they shivered once more in the cold, the weight of the moment pressing down on them, weakening them. Dark smoke wrapped them in its gray tendrils. Her hands shivered on the hilt, the cold air making them numb. She held on to the grip, and her fingers turned white. She planted her feet firmly on the floor, but she could not move. She would not budge. So the drakon made the first move. It pressed its chest to the blade and the tip pierced the soft spot between two scales. The first cut drew a narrow line of blood. She recoiled momentarily, wondering whether she could do this, whether she could kill a part of herself. The creature waited for Nat to deal the deathblow, but she wouldn’t budge. Every fiber of her being cried out to her, telling her to stop, to halt what she was doing. It was just too terrible.
How will I do this?
I will help you, came the drakon’s voice. It was the last time it spoke to her. Neither had the strength to do it alone, so they did it together.
Little by little, inch by inch, Nat advanced.
The rending of the flesh was almost too much to bear.
End this! something cried within her.
I would sacrifice all, I would give everything, she had said to the Merlin.
And so, with a great scream, she plunged her sword deep into the drakon’s hide, deep into its cold heart of dread. And the sound of the drakon’s last cry was the sound of the world shattering. It was the last whimper of the old magic as it left the world.
Mainas didn’t slump to the ground. The drakon was no common animal. It would not molder in the gray tower; the worms would not touch its carcass. The drakon would end as it began. It was born in fire and it would die in it.
The drakon exploded, filling the air with flame, turning into dust and diamond, and when she removed her arm, she was holding not her sword but two rings.
The ring of Avalon.
The ring of Atlantis.
Covered in the fire and blood of the drakon, she willed a new ring into being, forging one from two, creating something from nothing, shaping the ether.
When it was done, she wore only one ring, twined in silver and gold, twisted into a new shape, for a new world.
She raised the ring to the light and caught her reflection in a mirror that appeared out of the ether.
Avalon’s Mirror.
And inside it, she saw a Queen.
38
THE QUEEN WORE A STAR-BRIGHT coronet on her brow, and robes of starshine and moonlight. Her hair was dark as the skies and her eyes as green as soft summer grass. She was the Queen of Avalon.
She looked into Avalon’s Mirror and the mists parted to show her what she needed to see: the future as only she could shape it, the various roads ahead, the consequences of every decision.
She saw great armies in battle, shining cities laid to ruin, smoking and destroyed. Blood spilled on a great tundra of white. Bodies piled in stacks, burning.
The whole world on fire, hope lost, civilization a memory.
Every path, every possibility, led to devastation, to the end of everything.
The end of the world.
Every path, save for one.
The only way forward to a new beginning led to a golden ring within a gray tower.
But if she chose that path, that future, everyone she loved would die.
No one would survive.
Not even her.
She studied the mirror at length, then stepped away, closing her eyes. Things were what they were. Avalon could not save the future from itself.
Only one person could do that, she knew.
And in that moment, everything was decided.
She chose the path. The one that doomed them all, that led to all their deaths.
Nat said the words again, the words of the spell, the words of making . . .
The spell was cast. The path decided. Nat lived it all again. Waking up in a prison cell at MacArthur Med. Falling fifty feet from the sky. Hiding in New Vegas. Meeting Wes. The journey across the toxic ocean. The faces of her friends. Faix. Vallonis. Nineveh. Merlin.
Wes. Wes. Wes.
Dead on the cold ground.
She sacrificed them all, gave everything to the task of creation.
The spell consumed their lives.
The world was bathed in drakonfire.
AFTER THE NEW WORLD
THE CROWD THAT WAS HEADED FOR the wedding chapel was certainly a merry one, Nat thought, marveling at the golden sylph in the brilliant white dress leaning on the handsome soldier with the neat goatee. She’d seen many weddings during her time at the Wingate, but this one looked special. There was a glow and a joy to the group that was infectious; even the two smallmen held sparklers. She envied their camaraderie, the easy way they had with one another.
She collected the chips from the last round, bantering with Manny, who was pit boss tonight.
It was hot in the desert, but cool inside the casino.
As Nat laid down the cards, two silver chips were placed on the green felt. She looked up to meet a pair of warm brown eyes. One of the soldiers from the wedding party—the painfully handsome one with the dark messy hair that fell over his dark eyes and the sexy grin. She’d noticed him from across the room, feeling her skin tingle when he caught her looking.
“Platinum chips.” She whistled. “That’s almost fifty large. Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
The young boy next to him, skinny and energetic, laughed. “If you lose it all tonight, don’t come asking me for credit.”
“Come on, Farouk, join me, we’ll all get rich together.”
“Fine,” the kid said, digging in his pocket for a chip or two.
Now the whole party was crowded around the table.The smallmen jostled for space, while the bride and groom watched with amused expressions. Nat noted the magician corps ring the bride wore on her right hand.
“What unit?” she asked.
“Winged cavalry,” the girl said.
“I’m thinking of joining up,” Nat told her. “I have a mount that could be useful.”
“Do it,” the bride said. “Although if you’re looking for action, there isn’t much. Mostly, it’s a chance to see the world.” It was a peaceful time.
“We can’t be late, we have the next Elvis,” said the groom, checking his watch worriedly.
“We won’t be, Shakes,” said the groom’s handsome friend. “This will only take a sec.”
“Where are you guys from?” Nat asked, as she dealt the cards around the table.
“Nauckland,” replied one of the smallmen. “We’re thinking of opening a restaurant in town.”
“So we say, but really we’re here for the shows,” his partner smiled, placing a chip on the open spot. “I’m Brendon, by the way, and this is Roark.”
“Pleased to meet you,” she told them.
“There you are! I thought I’d lost you guys!” said a brown-haired girl in a pink bridesmaid dress. She had a magician corps ring on her hand, too. She stood next to the handsome soldier, and Nat felt a pang.
“Someone here wanted to place a bet,” said the soldier they called Shakes, needling the handsome one.
“Come on, sis, you in such a hurry to catch the bouquet?” the handsome one asked.
Sis? Oh. She was his sister. Nat could see the resemblance now. Twins, it looked like. Good-looking twins.
Nat flipped his first card. Ace. Then she flipped the dealer’s. Queen.
“Appropriate,” he murmured under his breath.
“Double down?” she asked.
“Why not,” said Handsome. So cocky. But she liked it. It made her laugh.
“Anyone else?”
They all shook their heads.
She flipped her card. Queen. Then flipped his. Another queen.<
br />
Blackjack.
“The girls were kind to you tonight,” she said.
“Told you I was lucky, now I can pay for the party,” he said, flushed from the win.
She pushed his pile of chips and their fingers brushed. The moment his skin touched hers, she felt a spark. She looked up at him, confused, but he only smiled at her.
A flood of memories. Another life. One in which the world was covered in ice and hope hung by a thread. One in which she had been hunted and used, until she had found her true destiny and had liberated the world from the darkness and cold with the fire within her soul. She saw herself in the mirror, making the sacrifice.
She had given everything. All her love. All her friends. Her drakon. Herself.
“Wes?” she said, not knowing how it was true. Was this real? Were they really here? Alive? Laughing? How could this be?
“Nat,” he said. “I was wondering when you would remember. It took us a while . . . all of us . . . but once we met . . . we remembered everything.”
“I thought we didn’t have a future,” she whispered. “I saw you die. I saw everyone die,” she said, thinking of the life she had seen in the mirror, the life they had lived in a different place, a different time.
There are other worlds than these, a wise man had once told her. What was his name again?
“Because you sacrificed us all, the world was born anew. And this time, the magic held,” he said.
She turned to their friends, hugging and kissing each of them in turn. “Eliza?” she asked doubtfully.
“Beth. Don’t call me that. It makes me feel odd.” Wes’s sister shuddered.
Wes shot her a glance. “Some of us remember less than others. Come on, we’ve got a wedding to catch.”
They watched their friends pledge their lives to each other.
Nat leaned on his shoulder, overwhelmed by happiness.
Wes whispered in her ear, making her tingle all over again. “We have our whole lives ahead of us now. Not just one night, but many . . .”
She lifted her chin and he leaned down. When their lips met, their kiss contained the knowledge that it was only the first of many kisses to come.
“Where’s that drakon of yours, by the way?” he asked, when they pulled away as the smallmen began to cough pointedly. “I heard they keep them in the stables outside the desert.”
“We can visit after,” she said. Mainas was well. Sleeping like a cat. Getting fat. The usual. Drakons. There were so many now. Herds of them.
Elvis sang “Love Me Tender,” Shakes dipped Liannan low, and the group showered the happy couple with confetti and rice. Beth made illusions dance in the air.
“We’re next,” Wes promised.
Nat smiled up at her love. “Want to make a bet?”
But for once, she didn’t care who won, for she already had.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Many heartfelt thanks to the amazing team at Penguin who have been behind Nat & Wes from the beginning, especially our amazing publisher and editor, Jennifer Besser; tireless publicist, Elyse Marshall; and awesome copy editor, Anne Heausler. We love you guys! Thanks for joining us on this journey to the Blue and back again. Thank you to Richard Abate and Rachel Kim at 3Arts for all the support and free therapy. Thanks to our daughter, who had many questions and suggestions throughout the project. Thank you to our wonderful fans—we love our family of iceholes.
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