by T. S. Joyce
He'd been trying to stop the panther from showing himself to her, but here, ten years later, she could see that night for what it was.
Anson had always tried to protect her.
And she hadn’t been brave enough to do the same.
Guilt had been such a big part of her life for so long, and she didn’t want it to be like this for always. The only way to fix it was to be better. Attaching herself to a pride right near Anson’s crew would be another betrayal to him. She couldn’t do it again. Couldn’t hurt him. Couldn’t shoulder that guilt.
So okay. Decision made. She pulled her phone off the charger on her nightstand and connected the call to Arden.
“Hello?” he answered on the second ring. He didn’t sound tired.
“I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Both. You’re not it for me. I thought I could, but there has to be something better for me and Bentley, and there has to be something better for you, too.”
“Better than a Dunn lion cub in my pride?”
“Yeah, Arden. Like…love, and cubs of your own. You’ll have to anchor your pride without my son. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”
He huffed a breath. “Kaylee, you’re talking like this is over. It’s not. Not until I say it is.”
The line went dead, and Kaylee backed up to the bed until the backs of her knees hit the mattress. She plopped down on the edge and frowned down at the screen of her phone until it faded to black.
This wasn’t Arden’s call to make. Kaylee’s destiny didn’t have to be interwoven with his. And with the decision made, it was really clear their fates had never aligned. He was too cold, too stoic, and he cared too little in the ways that were imperative for her happiness, and ultimately, for Bentley’s.
This was the right decision. This was her stand for Anson, even though he would never know it.
This was the real apology.
Chapter Nine
Anson slammed his open hand against the steering wheel of his Bronco over and over and over until he felt like his insides weren’t ripping apart anymore.
“What can I do?” he asked helplessly as he stared at the front of his cabin in the gray dawn light. His roof leaked like shit, he was gonna be late paying his damn portion of the bills this month thanks to having to pay for Barret to fix the Lexus, his boss was breathing down his neck threatening to fire him, and he had nothing to offer a woman like Kaylee. And she had a son. Anson rested his forehead on the steering wheel and curled in on himself. That should’ve been their son sleeping all peaceful. And he should’ve been born a damn panther.
And now he was going to watch her integrate into the Cold Mountain Pride. He was going to have to see her around town with them. Watch her touch that douchecake lion.
He had to find a new crew, somewhere far away. He’d stayed for Jenny, but he couldn’t live his life watching his mate with another man. And Jenny wouldn’t ask him to. She knew what Kaylee was to him. She’d watched him try but fail to break the bond with his mate for a damn decade. And what kind of messed-up panther chose a mate at seventeen? God, he sucked.
His mate, his mate, his fucking mate. She’d always been his, but how did he explain that to a human? She wouldn’t understand it. Wouldn’t understand the kind of loyalty he had for her.
And now he’d slept with her and made everything worse.
She-Devil stalked out of the tree line, belly on the ground, every movement graceful, slow, calculated, her eyes trained on him, but fuck it. He was done being hunted by this woman, and haunted by Kaylee. And between those two and Jenny giving him constant shit about, “Don’t let Kaylee in your head again,” the women in his life were stressing him out.
Next crew he picked was gonna be all bachelors.
He kicked open his door and connected a call he never in a million years thought he would.
Riiing.
She-Devil bolted for him.
Riiing.
She leapt through the air, but Anson was so over her games. He reached up and grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and held her at arm’s length. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” he yelled in her face before she recovered enough to rake her claws down his chest. He would’ve laughed at her shocked expression if he wasn’t in a horrid mood.
Right now he was stressed and pissed and confused, so he tossed She-Devil’s violent little ass as far as he could chuck her. She landed on all fours, naturally, gave him a dirty look over her shoulder, hissed once, then slunk off into the woods.
Good. It was about time he won at least one game.
“What,” a snarly voice answered on the phone.
Anson yanked his front door open and slammed it closed behind him. “Beast, you don’t know me, but I know you.”
“The fuck you do. Who is this?”
Anson sat heavily on the leather chair in the corner by the bookshelf and sighed. “I’m Anson, one of Ben’s panthers. I’m in the Red Havoc Crew. Your alpha, Dark Kane, and my alpha, Benson Saber, were in Apex together. Ben told me about you.”
“I’m hanging up now.”
“I got a lion problem.”
Beast went silent for a few moments. “What kind of lion problem?”
“We’ve been having territory disputes with a new pride in the area.”
“Which pride?”
“Cold Mountain. You know them?”
Beast growled softly through the phone. “I make it my business to know all the prides. You gotta fucked-up one in your territory, don’t you?”
“Yeah, they’re getting bolder. Ben has one of us staying up nights watching the territory lines now. They push inward whenever they feel like it.”
“Then go to war fast. Don’t let them start it. Go early, surprise them, don’t be nice, kill them if you have to, but get them pushed back.”
“That’s not why I’m calling. I’m calling about a girl. Or a boy, I guess. I care for a woman but…she’s got a cub.”
“Lion cub?” Beast asked in a surprised tone.
“Yeah. A Dunn.”
“Fuuuck. Let me guess. Arden wants him.”
“Feels like it.”
“Is the dad dead?”
“No. Just deadbeat.”
“So you got the Cold Mountain Pride wanting the claim, and you’ll someday have the Dunn pride wanting the claim, too. And you got, what? Six panthers to defend that cub?”
“Technically seven and a Gray Back grizzly.”
“Who’s the bear?”
“Jaxon Barns.”
“Good. What are you asking for, Anson?”
“Advice, I guess.”
Static blasted across the phone, and Beast murmured, “Here let me hold him, babe. You go back to sleep.” More movement sounded and then, “My advice if you care about survival? Cut that girl loose. Let her find her son a pride. If he’s a Dunn, he’ll be a fuckin’ monster someday. That’s my advice if you want the easy way out, but I suspect you wouldn’t be calling me if it were that simple. She’s yours, isn’t she?”
Anson slammed his head back into the soft cushion of the seat and stared up at the exposed rafters of his cabin. “Yeah, she’s mine.”
“Then claim her. Dig your heels in. Don’t let the pride push you. Push ’em back. Fuck the lions.”
Anson laughed. “But you’re a lion.”
“A lion raised outside of a pride by a gorilla shifter, and I turned out just fine. I have to go. I need to feed my kid. He’ll be a monster someday, too. He’ll be Beast when I retire the name. He eats us out of house and home already. You got a little Dunn lion cub. He’ll be eating an ungodly amount during those growth spurts he’s probably struggling with, so prepare for that, Anson Carter.”
Chills blasted up his forearms, and he sat up quick. He hadn’t told Beast his last name, which mean that the wily, terrifying lion shifter knew him way better than he’d said. Dark Kane’s whole Blackwing Crew was fucked up. This had been a dangerous decision, talking to Beast like this. He’d j
ust told Beast he had a Dunn lion cub without even knowing if he was a threat. Anson had to do better than this.
“I ain’t interested in taking that cub,” Beast growled, as if he could read Anson’s damn mind. “I’m raising one of my own, and my mate has another on the way. I’m not interested in putting my family in danger to defend him. That’s on you.”
Oh. Anson relaxed back into the chair and frowned at the clock on the wall. He needed to get to work soon. But first, he had one last thing he wanted to ask. “You said you were raised by a gorilla shifter. Was it…?” Anson licked his lips and tried again. “Was it okay for you growing up without a pride?”
“Hell yeah. Callum took me in and raised me like his own, and I didn’t hurt for a pride. I had all I needed.” Silence yawned between them again before Beast murmured, “You can be all that cub needs, too. If his mom is yours, well…that boy is yours, too. Don’t fuck it up.”
The line went dead.
Don’t fuck it up. Easier said than done.
And now he had to figure out a way to buy himself some time before Arden claimed Kaylee. Because over Anson’s cold and lifeless body was anyone laying claim to her but him.
Chapter Ten
This damn chair was too fancy to be comfortable. It was outdoor furniture, not some museum piece. Kaylee’s butt hurt from sitting on it, and she’d only been here for ten minutes, watching Bentley play in the rose garden. She’d brought one of those mushy romance books to read, a historical one about a pirate captain escaping capture and kidnapping a damsel in distress along the way. But how could anyone truly get lost in a book when their booty hurt? The lines from the wooden seat were probably forever etched on her crack. Plus, it had been two days since Anson left. And also, there was nothing in the house to eat but caviar and some fancy hard-as-a-rock crackers to spread it on, and she wanted pizza rolls, but wanted Bentley to get some outside time before she went into town and “peopled.”
God, she was grumpy lately. Coming back here hadn’t done her any good. It had just brought up a lot of stuff from the past she should’ve left buried, and now she’d lost Anson anyway.
One date. She would’ve sold her old crappy truck for one date with that man. Even if it was just to the bar where they could dance and laugh like old times. That would’ve been perfectly fine with her.
“Mom. Mom. Mommy.”
“Hmm?” she asked, shoving her sunglasses on the top of her head.
Bentley was squatting in the dirt next to a perfectly pruned knock-out rose bush. He’d spread dirt all over the sidewalk. Mom would poop herself if she saw the mess, but it made Kaylee happy that he had somewhere to play.
“I’ve got worms!” He held up a wriggling pink one and smiled big.
“Bring it closer so I can see.” She set the book down and rocked to the edge of the chair.
Bentley set the dirt-covered, slimy little critter on the flat of her palm and said, “I picked this one for you,” like it was a flower.
It was so sweet, she hugged him up tight with her free arm, and he allowed it. He was her little snuggle-bug.
“It’s gonna be okay,” he said, petting her hair in the back. He always liked playing with the dead ends of it.
“What?” she asked, confused.
“That’s what Mema tells you when you’re sad. It’s gonna be okay.” When he touched her cheek softly with his dirty little fingers, she melted. He’d been the little man of the house for most of his life.
“I love you, Little Monkey,” she growled, scooping him up and tickling him.
“Stop stop stop, you’ll hurt your worm!” he screamed through his giggles.
Kaylee released him to the roses and swatted his butt gently before he was out of reach.
“Lions eat monkeys,” he said when he was back to digging in Mom’s garden.
“Do they?” She would have to research that.
“Yeah, lions eat everything ’cept dragons. Tommy said so.”
Ooooh, that was where this was going. Tommy had been his best friend in preschool. They’d been inseparable from day one, until the day she pulled him out to plan their move here. It had been a shifter school, and her income had been low enough Bentley had qualified for a scholarship. Tommy was a grizzly cub, and so there had been no risk in Bentley hurting him, or Changing him. Lately, Bentley was missing other kids badly, but there were no shifter schools here, and she couldn’t put him in a human school. What if he shifted there and Turned other kids? Or worse? This would be his first year with homeschool, and he was already lonely. This wasn’t what she’d envisioned for his future that first moment she’d held her baby boy in her arms.
“Come on, Little Monkey. We need to go to the grocery store.”
“I’m not a little monkey anymore. I’m a tough lion. Can I pick out a treat?” Bentley asked, his blue eyes going round.
“Are you going to be good this time? Because last time you were a terror, and you shoved the cart into the back of some nice lady’s legs when we were in line.” She tried to look severe because that had not been okay. “Do you remember that?”
“I’ll be good this time, I pinky swear!” He jammed his little pinky finger up in the air. Kaylee giggled as she gripped it with her own and shook.
Book in one hand, Bentley’s pinky attached to her other, they made their way over the yawning manicured lawn toward Mom’s house. Snob. She hated that name, but Anson had let it slip that everyone used to call her that. Hopefully it was just because of the house. She’d been quiet as a kid until she’d met him. He’d opened her up the summer before senior year, but maybe all those years of having her nose buried in books had made her peers think she was stuck up.
The Lexus was parked in the front circle drive, right behind her old, rust-red and cream Ford pickup, and sudden hope bloomed in her chest. “Come on, Bentley,” she urged him, lengthening her strides.
“Race ya!” He took off running, little arms pumping with each step.
Dear goodness, there was no way she could keep up. He was a shifter and already too fast for his own good, but she gave it the old college try and sprinted after him.
Clumsily, she skidded to a stop in the gravel drive near the Lexus and scanned the driveway and yard.
Anson wasn’t here.
Disappointment slashed through her chest and made her want to sit down suddenly and curl around the ache.
“What’s wrong?” Bentley asked in that cute, little, squeaky voice of his.
“Ummm, Mommy was hoping her friend would be here.”
“Friend-zoned after the other night?” Anson said, peeking around the front of her pickup.
“Oh, my gosh!” Kaylee cried, clutching her chest. “I thought…”
Anson narrowed his blues at her and wiped his hands on a white rag. “Thought I ran? I told you I wouldn’t.”
“Yeah, but it’s been two days.”
“Who’re you?” Bentley asked loudly.
Anson canted his head in a very animal-like gesture and scraped his bottom teeth against his top lip before he squatted down. “I’m a buddy of your mom’s. Who’re you? Wait…let me guess. You’re the owner of this great big house.”
“No!” Bentley said with a giggle. “This is my Mema’s house. I only live here while Mom finds me a pride. Mostly I live in an apartment. I sleep in Mom’s bed because it only has one room.”
“Bentley,” Kaylee warned. He was giving away too much about her old life, and she wanted Anson to ease into how far she’d fallen.
“Huh,” Anson murmured. “Well, if you aren’t the owner of this place, are you the one who cleans the pool?”
“Nope.”
“Mows the yard?”
Bentley cracked up. “No, that’s Mr. Henderson. He brings me peppermints sometimes, and he smells funny.”
“Bentley,” Kaylee gritted out.
“Moffballs,” Bentley said, ignoring her.
Mortification heated her cheeks as she pursed her lips and stared at the s
mile that slowly transformed Anson’s face. “I give up, little man. Who are you?”
“I’m Bentley Brennan Dunn-Cummings the first, and I’m six years old,” he said, puffing his little chest out and pointing to himself.
“Wrong,” Kaylee drawled. She’d been working on Bentley’s fibbing lately.
“Well, I’m almost six.”
Anson laughed. “My name’s Anson Amos Carter the first, and I’m twenty-eight, and I’m a panther shifter. You have gold in your eyes, kid. What kind of animal you got?”
Bentley gasped and backed away from Anson until he was hiding behind Kaylee’s legs. And honestly, she’d gone tense, too, at the question. “He’s not supposed to talk about that stuff with strangers,” she explained.
Anson frowned and stood smoothly. “Why not?”
“Well, for the same reasons you didn’t tell people you were a panther when you were a kid,” she pointed out. “We don’t know many shifters.”
“I know Tommy! He’s got a bear cub inside of him.” Bentley clapped his hand over his mouth and hid behind her legs again.
“It’s okay, you can talk about that stuff with Anson. He’s a big-cat shifter like you.”
Bentley peeked around her legs. “I know lots about animals, but mostly dragons.”
“Oh, I see,” Anson said, hooking his hands on his hips. “Have you seen a panther?”
