“So, you sent flowers. When was this?”
“Almost two years ago, then I went back up there about a year and a half ago. I didn’t tell any of the family, because if I was wrong, I just couldn’t stand to see the pity in their eyes.”
“Kara, your family would never pity you. They’d stand by you and kick anybody’s ass who would dare to hurt you.”
“But that would be even worse,” she wailed into his massive chest. “I need to fight my own fights, win or lose. And I lost.”
“Tell me,” he whispered into her hair.
“One of their boats sank. One of the guys they let captain the boats went out during rough seas, and he made a really bad decision. It was lucky the Coast Guard was able to save everyone. They couldn’t salvage the boat,” she said quietly.
“Insurance?”
“They had just enough to cover what they owed. They owned forty percent, and that equity just sank with the boat,” she said sadly.
“Damn,” Leif whistled.
“Yeah,” she breathed. “So, once again, they made the decision to suck it up. Kyle and Randy, the next two in age, wanted to take over. They said that they could get a loan, buy another boat, and pick up where Quinn and Ben had left off. They even said that they had enough in savings, that they could buy Quinn and Ben out, so that they could have starting capital for the charter-fishing business they wanted to do down here in Seattle.” Kara looked up at Leif. “That’s what they had planned to do before the boat sank so they could be with me.” She couldn’t stop from tearing up at the thought of what might have been.
“And Timothy?” Leif asked.
“He’d really straightened up. Juvie was good for him. They had a good drug rehab program, and he came out straight. He’d even gotten his GED while he was locked up. He’s going to a community college and he’s studying psychology. I think he’s trying to better understand why he fell into the traps he did. There are still legal bills to be paid, and he’s working part-time on the fishing boats to help pay for them. All four of the oldest boys are contributing to paying them off. They’re such good men, Leif.”
“Why didn’t Ben and Quinn take their brothers up on their offer to buy them out of their commercial fishing business?” he asked.
“Because they both have families. Randy has three kids, and Kyle has two kids. Both Quinn and Ben don’t think it’s right to burden them with that kind of debt and responsibility.”
“So, why didn’t you just stay up there and live with them?” Leif asked.
Kara choked back a sob, and Leif stroked her hair. “It’s Quinn,” she said. “He watched what his mother went through worrying about his dad. Commercial fishing up in Alaska is one of the riskiest jobs in America, and his dad died doing it. He refuses to put me through that, and he refuses to do what he can to quit. I think deep down he just doesn’t want me, and Ben is going along with him. So, I’m done,” she said with finality that Leif knew he couldn’t budge.
“But they’re not, are they?”
“Oh, no, they think when they have this next crisis ironed out we’re going to be one happy triad. They’re going to come in and sweep me off my feet.” Kara heard the tremor in her voice.
“Don’t you want that?” Leif asked gently.
“How can I ever trust them, Leif? There will always be another crisis. That’s life. I want a true partnership, not some farce where I’m put up on a shelf whenever things go a little wrong.”
“And your nice boyfriend Jim, the one that you really don’t want? What about him?”
“He’s here. He wants me. I want a family. He’s nice, he’s a good man. I’m going to see if we’re compatible in bed. If we are, I’m marrying him.”
“Jesus, sis, that is cold,” Leif said, shaking his head. “What about your dogs?”
“They will learn to deal,” she said, giving them both the stink eye.
“Your turn,” she said, turning a steely eye on her brother that had him gulping.
“When did you turn so scary?” he asked.
“When you decided to pry into all the dark corners of my life, Major Johansen. So, spill your guts.”
“Her name is Isabella. Caleb and I met her three weeks ago. I think she’s perfect for us.” Kara watched her big brother carefully and saw him stare off in the distance.
“Submissive,” she said decisively.
“Jesus.” He backed up from her and ran his fingers through his short-cropped blond hair in agitation, looking at his little sister aghast. “What makes you say that?”
“Leif, as much as you’ve observed me all these years, don’t you think I’ve observed you? You and Caleb, you’re dominants, it’s clear as day. You’re not domineering, you’re very caring. Actually, you are very protective and nurturing. It’s just that I think in certain situations you and Caleb are dominants, and you seek out submissive types of women. I dare you to tell me I’m wrong.”
After a few moments, he finally said, “You’re not wrong. It just feels wrong to be having this conversation with my baby sister.”
“Yeah, well it wasn’t all that comfortable talking about the two men in my life either, so live with it, Leif.”
“Touché.”
“So, tell me about her.”
“Her name is Isabella Camarena. She’s an innocent. She’s a teacher at the Cesar Chavez Transitional School, a school for homeless students. She works with the eight- to twelve-year-old kids, especially the Hispanic kids whose parents are migrant farm workers. She quit her job with a private school so she could work with these disadvantaged kids, and she has to work two jobs just to make ends meet…Caleb and I met her while we were doing bodyguard duty for Olivia Prescott recently. That was almost three weeks ago. We’ve been going back almost every day the school is open to do repairs.”
“Aren’t you two just the good Samaritans!” Kara teased.
“Hey, the school really does need the repairs, and with Pops supervising the construction on the shop, we have plenty of time to volunteer over in Snoqualt,” Leif defended himself. She liked seeing Leif acting human. So often he was in his Iceman persona. It was good for him to just be Leif, the goofy Johansen brother.
“Okay, the school needs repairs. But don’t try to kid me, Isabella just sounds hot. She is, isn’t she?” Leif ran his hand through his hair and Kara hooted with laughter. “So, tell me more.”
“Look, you’re right, we’re interested in her, but I’m not sure she’s right. We’ve been pursuing her subtly, but she hasn’t caught onto it yet. I don’t think she understands that we’re both interested in her. I think because it’s both of us, she thinks we’re interested in her as friends. She’s just so young and innocent.” Kara could hear the frustration in her older brother’s voice.
“Just because she’s sexually innocent doesn’t mean she’s innocent about life. It seems she’s made a lot of strong decisions, Leif. It takes a strong woman to leave a good job at a private school to work at a school for homeless children.”
“Or it takes a naïve dreamer, Kara,” Leif countered.
“Please don’t do what Quinn has been doing and take away her right to make her own choice,” Kara pleaded.
Leif gave her a hug. “I promise. I won’t. Thanks, I needed to talk to somebody about this.” He kissed the top of her head. “I hope you’ll really think through your plan with Mr. Nice. I think you’re selling yourself short. If you can’t see it from that angle, think about what you’re doing to him.”
“Damn it, Leif, I hate you,” Kara said as she hit his rock-solid chest, hurting her hand. He chuckled.
“No, you don’t, you love me.” She grabbed him for a big hug, then watched as he gave each of the dogs a good petting before leaving as he had arrived. She sat on the porch for a long time, thinking over everything they had discussed.
* * * *
Kara arrived at the Reynolds-Booth household at a quarter to four o’clock on Wednesday. She knew she was early, but she also knew her
friend Josie would be trying to do four things at once and would probably need a break. When she knocked on the door and a harried Josie answered, she realized she was right. Lissa was crying in her arms, and Chance was behind her.
“Zee, please give her to me. I know you want to get ready for our date.”
“Damn it, Chance, you’ve already postponed the call three times! Get into your office,” Josie all but snarled over her shoulder, which just made Lissa cry harder. Chance walked up to Josie and tried to forcibly pry Lissa out of her arms.
“Hey, you two,” Kara said in a loud stage whisper. “Babysitter, right here.” Kara held out her arms for the screaming baby. Still whispering, she asked, “Chance, how many more minutes before your call?”
He looked at his watch, “Eleven.”
“Go get the dogs out of my car, it’s unlocked. Put them in the backyard. I’ve got Lissa and Josie. Then go take your call. You’re banished until the date starts. This is a testosterone-free zone, got it?” she said, lifting her brows.
“Got it,” he said with a quick grin, zipping out the door.
“Josie, what’s the deal with Lissa? Food? Diaper? Or just because?” Kara asked.
“I’m pretty sure it’s a combination of all three. As soon as she started whimpering, Chance started hovering, which was making me crazy, because he needs to be on that call. Then, the more upset I got, the more Lissa cried.”
Kara looked down at the baby, who had now settled back down to the whimpering stage and smiled. “You’re a smart girl, aren’t you? You know when Mama’s upset and Daddy’s being an ass. Josie, let’s go to Lissa’s room. We’ll get her changed, and then you can breastfeed her. How does that sound?”
“It sounds like heaven.”
Lissa must have thought so, as well. After being fed and changed, almost as soon as she let out one big burp, she fell asleep on her mama’s shoulder, so they put her down for a nap.
“How long is she going to sleep?” Kara asked.
“She’ll be up around nine or ten for another feeding. Then she’ll probably sleep through the night.”
“Aren’t you guys lucky,” Kara said as she watched Josie put Lissa down in her crib. The room was beautiful. The walls were painted a light, spring green and had pink butterflies painted on the ceiling. The rocking chair and all of the baby furniture was cherry wood, and the love seat was done in a complementary cream color. All in all, the room had an esthetically soothing feel to it. Kara stood watching the baby sleep. She was looking forward to Lissa waking up when she would have her all to herself.
She looked up and saw Josie smile knowingly. “Come on,” she whispered. “I need your artistic eye to tell me what to wear. Normally, Chance chooses my outfits, and tonight I want to knock his socks off.” Kara just shook her head and followed her friend out the door.
Kara gasped when she saw the contents of Josie’s closet. “What the ever-loving hell? Josie, you haven’t worn a third of the things in this closet, have you?” Kara accused.
“Well, not outside the house,” Josie admitted. “I do dress up for dinner here. I mean, where else am I going to wear these dresses? To the bakery? I don’t think so. I’m telling you, Chance is addicted to online shopping. I think Sam and I need to find him a twelve-step program!” Josie said as she shook her head in mock despair.
Kara went into the walk-in closet and started to take down the different dresses, holding them up against Josie’s petite, dark frame. “Girlfriend, he has an artist’s eye. My God, these must look spectacular on you. What makes you think you can’t put together an outfit? Anything you choose in here will look fantastic.”
“Hell, Kara, I know that. It’s the other stuff.” Josie marched over to the built-in drawers in the closet and pulled out every one. “Top drawer, jewelry, which I pray to God is costume, but I don’t think it is. Second drawer is for corsets, third drawer is for bras, fourth drawer is nothing but panties.” Then she marched over to the large mirrored door and slid it back, showing over forty pairs of shoes, none with anything higher than a one-inch heel. After revealing the shoes, she marched out of the closet, plopped down on the end of the huge bed, put her head in her hands, and looked to Kara like a woman who was ready to cry.
Kara immediately knelt down in front of her. “Josie, what is it? Please, tell me, and I promise to help you.”
“I know that Chance has fun dressing me, and Sam just thinks it’s funny. But it’s not.” Kara watched as her friend’s eyes welled with tears. “I truly don’t get it. I grew up really poor. I had to scrimp and save, and any extra money we had went to serviceable clothes, clothes that we knew would last one or two school years, you know?” Kara nodded her head. She had talked to Josie before and understood the kinds of hours she had put in waitressing so that she could raise her younger sisters on her own.
“I watch as Chance picks out things for me, and he doesn’t pick out all blue things, or all red things. I don’t understand how he makes all these different colors look so pretty together. All I can manage to do is repeat an outfit that he’s already assembled. I feel like a failure, like he knows he has to do this for me because I’m too dumb to learn.”
Kara got up on the bed beside Josie and wrapped her arms around her. She was stunned that her friend could feel that way about anything. In the three years since she had arrived in Fate Harbor, Kara had been nothing but impressed by her. She was someone who had started her own business, and not just gotten by, but made it a success. She had fallen in love with two wonderful men and chosen to make a life with them, despite the fact that a triad relationship was going to be difficult and some people would give them grief. Then there were Josie’s two younger sisters that she had raised singlehandedly since they were five, who were now juniors at Florida State University. How could a woman who had accomplished all these things feel like a failure?
“Josie, I can definitely help you figure out what goes with what. That stuff comes easily to me. I can teach you that in no time.” Josie’s head slammed up and hit Kara in the chin. “Oww,” they both cried out.
“You can?” Josie asked through a shimmer of tears.
“Yes, I can,” Kara assured her. “But Chance has been having fun dressing you for how long, now?”
“Since day one, so almost three years,” Josie said.
“And you, how long has this been fun for you, having Chance get you naked and play dress up with you?” Kara asked knowingly.
“Pretty much three years.”
“How many weeks did you take off after Lissa was born?” Kara asked.
“I took six weeks off,” Josie said, biting her thumbnail.
“How many full weeks did you stay out of the bakery?”
“Three.”
“How in the hell did you get away with that with Chance and Sam?” Kara asked incredulously.
“Whenever I went to the bakery, Sam would think I was with Chance, or Chance would think I was with Sam. They were both so tired, because Lissa was up half the night, that it was easy to get around them,” Josie admitted.
“So you only took three full weeks off, you have two husbands and a three month old, you own your own business, plus, you’re responsible for two sisters in college. Do I have this right?”
“Maybe,” Josie reluctantly admitted.
“So how much do you think this meltdown about clothes has to do with you being overworked and overtired and an all-around idiot?” Kara asked in a gentle voice.
“A lot?” Josie questioned, batting her big brown eyes up at Kara, and then she burst out laughing, and Kara quickly joined in.
Before they got started on the fashion lessons, Josie zipped into the kitchen and brought back some warm cinnamon rolls and milk. “There are still more in the kitchen. There are also some soup bones for Butch and Sundance. You and the pups are being paid in food for your babysitting services.”
“And we couldn’t be happier,” Kara said as she picked up a bun with a paper napkin and took a big bite
. She chewed and moaned and smiled, then chewed some more, and finally went for some of the cold milk, and smiled again. “God, Josie, how you think you could fail at anything is beyond me when you can bake like this.” Kara forced herself to put down the remainder of the roll so that she could focus on clothes.
By the time Josie left with Sam and Chance she looked beautiful, and she had a whole new confidence on how to put together an outfit. Kara had also wrangled a promise from her to come clean about how little time off she had really taken. The promise had come under duress, because Josie had known that Kara would check up on her and tattle if necessary.
Kara immediately headed to Lissa’s room and curled up on the love seat. The smell of baby powder permeated the room, and another softer scent that was magic of new life. Slowly Kara began to relax for the first time since the night of her date with Dr. Jim. She had a goal, it was a good one, she was doing the right thing. Secure in the knowledge she would hear Lissa if she needed anything, Kara settled in for a nap.
* * * *
Jesenia Karim owned the local nursery in Fate Harbor. She always said she was fated to do this, since her name meant “flower” in Arabic. She had left her parents, first generation immigrants from Morocco, behind in Portland, Oregon. While Jesenia respected the culture and religion of her parents, she had embraced the freedoms of America and needed to put some distance between the strict expectations that they had for her. Jesenia had found the accepting attitudes of Fate Harbor perfect for the life she wanted to live. She might not want to embrace a triad relationship, but the fact that they were accepted in the community told her that this town would certainly be open to a second-generation female Moroccan businesswoman.
She had easily made friends in the community, Kara Johansen being one of her best. Therefore, she was aghast when she personally delivered a bouquet of flowers that she had been sure would please Kara, but instead made her burst into tears.
“But, Kara, these were the flowers that you ordered again and again you had me arrange them to be delivered in Alaska for months. I remember, it was honeysuckle and sweet peas. When Jim Peterson asked me what you would like, I told him these were your favorites.” Jesenia immediately put down the arrangement on the bench in Kara’s studio and hugged her friend.
Claiming Kara [Fate Harbor 3] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 12
