“No. No alcohol, no drugs. Just you.” Then he put his head back down. Kara set down the glass before she dropped it. Never had she seen such a look of desolation on Quinn’s face.
“Quinn, you’re scaring me. You have to tell me. Please, it’s not Ben, is it?”
Quinn jerked his head up and grabbed both of her hands. “I’m an ass. I’m sorry, Kara. Ben is fine. I’m so sorry, baby.” Quinn pulled her into his arms, and she melted. She had been more scared than she had admitted to herself.
“Tell me, Quinn. What’s going on?”
“Please, let me hold you for a little longer. It hurts so damn bad, and this makes it better.” What could Kara possibly say to that? She just held this strong man more tightly. She racked her brain. Ben had been up in Sitka for three days. Quinn was captaining the boat, doing charters here in Fate Harbor. Could something have happened to their mom? But why was Quinn here, and not on a plane to Sitka? Kara couldn’t stop her mind from racing.
“Baby, whatever you need.” Quinn gripped her tighter. Then she felt a huge shudder go through his body, and it made her want to just hold him forever. He burrowed his face into the crook of her neck, and she could feel the deep breaths he was taking, as if he found her smell soothing in some sense. She didn’t say anything, just let him hold her, and she ever so gently started to sway as she stroked gently down his back. She finally felt him begin to calm, his breathing evening out.
“Can you tell me?” she whispered into the shell of his ear. He pulled back. His face was ravaged by tears.
“Tim tried to commit suicide last night. He’s in a coma. The doctors don’t think he’ll live.” Quinn’s voice broke, and they both reached for each other at the same moment. He dropped his head onto her breast, and she wrapped him into her warm embrace, offering succor. “God, Kara, I’ve got to go up there and be strong for everyone, and I just can’t do it.” His voice was muffled but she heard him and her heart ached for him.
“How can I be the strong one? How can I possibly offer advice and comfort, when I failed Tim, when I destroyed what we had, when I hurt the woman I loved? Name one thing I’ve done right? How can I possibly help my family, when I’ve done nothing right?” She heard his voice break on those last words. All she could do was hold him. She’d never wanted him to hurt this badly, but she’d always known that trying to hold up the entire world had to be crushing him.
“I’m here, Quinn. I’m here, baby. What can I do?” She continued to run her fingers through his crisp hair and stroke down his back, worried about the amount of heat he was putting off.
“I don’t know, Kara. I don’t even know why I came here. It just hurt so much, and I just knew that if I came here, I’d feel better.” Kara’s heart went out to him. In all the time she’d known him, he’d never reached out to someone else for comfort. He was the one who provided it. He didn’t even realize that was what he was doing. Kara felt her heart blossom like the bud of a rose seeing sun for the first time. He needed her. He was reaching out to her.
“Have you arranged for a flight up to Sitka?” she asked quietly.
“Ben’s going to arrange it. Before he does, I want to ask you if you will come with me. Please, Kara.”
She tightened her hold on him. “Of course, I’ll come with you.” She kissed the top of his head.
“The first flight out is tomorrow morning.”
“You’re going to stay here tonight.” Kara stroked her hands down his arms and pulled out of his hold. She kissed his temple, then his cheek, until she was looking deeply into his eyes. “Baby, let me give Ben a call, and tell him to arrange for both of us to fly up, okay?” She hated seeing such a dazed look on his face, but she needed to make the call. She leaned him against the sofa and got her cell phone. Ben picked up on the first ring.
“Kara, is Quinn with you?” Ben sounded stressed and frantic.
“Yeah, he’s here at my house.”
“Thank God.”
“Why don’t you let me book the flights, Ben?”
“That’d be great.” Kara could hear the relief in his voice. “Are you coming?”
“Definitely. How’s Timothy doing?”
“They say if he makes it through the night, he’ll have a better shot.” She heard his voice break.
“Oh, Ben, I’m so sorry. I’ll be there as fast as I can.”
“Just take care of Quinn, will you? I’m okay, I have the rest of my family with me, but Quinn’s alone. I know he’s taking this hard, like it’s his fault. He wasn’t listening to me, Kara. Please, try to tell him that Tim’s girlfriend broke up with him. That’s why he did this. The drug counselor said that he’s more susceptible to depression than most people. Between that and the breakup it put Tim over the edge. This had nothing to do with Quinn. Please, try to make him understand.”
“I’ll try, Ben,” Kara promised. “Please, hug your mother for me, and tell her we’ll be there soon. I love you, Ben.”
“I love you, too, Kara. Thank you for coming. Thank you for taking care of Quinn.”
“I love him, too.”
“I know you do,” Ben whispered. “Look, somebody will be there to pick you up. I’ve got to go.”
“I understand, love.” Kara couldn’t stop the tears. It seemed like this family kept taking hits, and it just wasn’t fair. She looked over at the couch, and Quinn was where she had left him, leaning back with his eyes closed. She went over to her laptop and arranged for the tickets. She took her cell phone and went to her bedroom to call Eric. She told him the situation and asked him to take care of Butch and Sundance.
“Jesus, Kara, they can’t seem to catch a break.”
“I know,” she said tiredly.
“You know his inclination is going to be to push you away. He’s going to want to take care of everything himself. He can’t help it, it’s the older brother protective gene. I’ve got it, too.”
“I think he’s getting over it. He came here when he found out.”
“That’s huge!”
“Yeah.”
“When are you leaving?”
“Our flight’s at seven tomorrow morning.”
“Do you need a ride?”
“No, I’m taking the Bronco. Quinn’s not up for extra company right now.”
“Understood. We’ve got Butch and Sundance covered. Is there anything else you need?”
“I’ll call if I think of anything. Quinn might need some things done with the boats.”
“Not a problem. I’m sure Mr. Burke will help out.”
“Thanks, Eric. Can you tell Mom and the dads?”
“You got it. You take care. I love you.”
“Back at you.” Kara hung up and turned off her phone, then went out to the living room. Quinn opened his eyes and looked at her. She walked over to him and held out her hand. He just stared at it.
“Come with me, baby. Let’s get you into bed.”
“I can’t sleep, Kara.”
“I just want to hold you, okay?”
“If I lose Tim, this is going to kill me, and I just think I’m going to be too much of a burden.” He took her hand and got off the couch. She led him down the hall to her bedroom. As soon as they stepped over the threshold, she turned to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He gripped her tightly in return. She didn’t know how long they stood that way, but finally, he pulled back.
“If this were one of my brothers, would you want to be here for me? Would you think I’m weak because I would need to lean on you?” Kara asked in a gentle voice.
“I always want to be the one you can come to,” Quinn said as he rested his forehead against hers. Kara stroked her hand against his cheek.
“That’s how I feel. That’s what I want. That’s what I’ve always wanted in our relationship. I’ve wanted us to be there for one another. It doesn’t make either one of us weak. It makes us both stronger because we’re holding each other up. Ben told me that you’ve been relying on him. I just wanted to know that you wou
ld come to me, as well.” Kara’s voice broke. She just hated that it was yet another tragedy for this family that was getting them finally where they needed to be.
“We’re leaving on the first plane tomorrow morning. I promise we’ll get there in time. You know Tim will find a way to pull through. As upset as he is, he’ll remember deep down that he can’t hurt his family this way. He’ll remember and he’ll fight. I talked to Ben. You know why Tim did this, don’t you, baby?” Kara looked at Quinn and saw his confused expression. She could see that Ben’s earlier words hadn’t gotten through. “Tim’s girlfriend just broke up with him. He just couldn’t handle it. But he has his family. We’re going to get there in time,” she promised, praying that she was right.
“You’re going with me?”
“Of course I am. Nothing could stop me. Eric is going to take care of everything for me, and he’s taking care of everything for you and the boats, too,” she assured him.
“I’ve got to take care of a couple of things. Eric doesn’t know what needs to be done.” Kara watched as Quinn started to build the walls up around himself. He was taking on that persona of the man of the family, who took care of everything. Well, not on her watch. It was time he was taken care of, and she was just the woman to do it. His Auntie Dot had explained he had been doing this since his father’s death and it was admirable. Now, he needed to know that he had someone he could come to, someplace he could be vulnerable.
“Mr. Burke is going to take care of your boats. You don’t have to do anything until we get up to Alaska. It’s all under control.” She started to unbutton his flannel shirt. “All you have to do is let me take care of you. Can you do that, Quinn? Can you accept somebody taking care of you, for a change?”
“Kara?” Quinn looked at her, really looked at her, and she watched as he searched her face. “I think it might break me,” he admitted.
“I swear to you, baby, it’ll only make you stronger.” Kara pushed the shirt off his shoulders, turned him around, and pushed him down gently so that he sat on the end of her bed. She knelt at his feet and unlaced and took off his work boots and socks. She massaged each foot, knowing how long he stood each day. She went back and forth between each foot, until she finally heard a sigh of relief from the big man above her.
“Take off your jeans, but not your underwear, and lay on the middle of the bed face down. I’ll be right back.” It was a testament to his stressed and confused state of mind that he didn’t question her, merely started to do what she asked as she left the bedroom to go down the hall to the bathroom. She pushed around items in her cupboard until she found the almond oil, and returned to the bedroom. She stopped for a moment, taking in the picture Quinn made stretched out on her lavender sheets. He was a vision of teakwood, chiseled muscle with just the slightest dusting of hair on the arms. She drew in a silent breath, not wanting to make this in any way a sexual experience. This was about caring and comfort.
She crawled up on the bed and uncapped the oil, warming it up in her hands, and started working on the tight muscles in his neck and shoulders. She worked, pressing and pushing, sometimes soft, sometimes hard. She also used the heel of her hand on those kinks in his shoulders that needed stronger pressure. Occasionally, he would let out a heavy breath, but that was the only indication she received that she was helping to relieve his pain. That, and the fact that she could feel the tightness in his rock-hard muscles begin to relax.
As she stared down the middle of his back, she needed to get into a better position, so she straddled him, and he spoke up for the first time in over an hour.
“Take off your jeans, they scratch.” Despite the grogginess of his voice, there was no doubting it was a command. Kara was amazed that even though she was doing nothing but trying to minister comfort, she immediately reacted in a strong sexual fashion to that raspy order. She got up and took off her jeans, and surreptitiously felt the panel of her panties, relieved to find that from the outside they were still dry as she again straddled Quinn’s masculine frame.
She got more of the almond oil and used long strong strokes to alleviate the tense muscles of his back. As soon as she found and unknotted one kink, she swore another popped up to take its place. She knew that she had tremendous upper body strength from the glasswork that she did, but she was getting tired. After finally finishing with the last strained muscle, she worked her way down to his well-defined legs. She started at his thighs, and stopped mid-stroke when she was confronted with his erect penis that had escaped the confines of his boxer briefs.
* * * *
Quinn ached. Almost every muscle was beyond relaxed, but his dick was beyond hard, and Kara was the only solution. Her body, her mind and heart were the only things that would be an acceptable answer for his desire. They had been the only answer since the day he first met her. He’d loved this woman for years, but she’d been right. He hadn’t really been prepared to take her on as his helpmeet or his true partner. If they had married five years ago, or even six months ago, it wouldn’t have been a good marriage—not like it could be now. He’d needed both Kara and Ben to help him see that.
Quinn had never felt more loved and cosseted in his entire life as he did at this moment. Lying here for the last two hours, he had made the decision to put everything else on hold. There wasn’t anything he could do but pray, and that’s what he had done. But now was a time to love. He rolled over and looked up at Kara, with her big blue eyes and white-gold hair. She stared back at him, trapped in the sanctity of the moment.
“I just wanted to give you comfort.” She bit her lip as she looked at him with an expression of guilt.
“You did, sweetheart. You have,” he sat up and wrapped his arms around her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
“I didn’t mean for this to be anything else, just to relax you so you could sleep. I promise.” Quinn heard the worry in her voice, and he could tell that she thought he might be upset.
“I knew what your intentions were, Kara. But can you imagine how bad I would have to feel, if after almost two hours of you touching my body, I didn’t have a hard-on?” he asked as he nuzzled her neck. Kara gave a halfhearted chuckle. “Sweetheart?”
“Quinn, I’m sorry…”
“I love you, Kara Johansen. Five years ago, I fell in love with the beauty of your caring heart and loving soul, and I’ve never needed or wanted you more and I can’t imagine living the rest of my life without you in it. Is that okay?” She pushed away from him, looking at him incredulously.
“I love you, too.” Quinn watched as tears flooded her gorgeous blue eyes. “You and Ben are my everything, and I’ve been living half a life without you. You truly mean it, don’t you, Quinn? Don’t you? I’ve been so scared, and so sad, and so hopeful.” He could barely make out those last words as she dissolved into tears and buried her face in his chest. She kept saying something over and over again. He just couldn’t hear or understand it, so he had to pull her back just a little bit.
“What, sweetheart? What are you saying?” God, how could she have made him so happy and be breaking his heart?
“Please, let this be true. Please, let this be true,” she murmured again and again. He used his thumbs, trying to stem the tide of her tears.
“It’s true, love, it’s true.” He softly kissed her tear-slicked lips, licking up the taste of salt and Kara. She kissed him back just as softly, just as reverently, both of them realizing this was a time for healing.
They both slowly stripped out of their clothes, watching one another. When they came together, the one moment of discord for Quinn was when he rolled on the condom. It seemed wrong somehow. They should be totally naked with one another, trying to start a family. But as soon as he had that thought, he dismissed it, knowing he wanted his brother with them when they made that step.
After what seemed like hours of beautiful lovemaking, Quinn realized that they were both finally physically and mentally exhausted.
“Sweetheart, I’ll be right b
ack, I’m going to get a glass of water. Can I get you anything?” He watched as she shook her head, her hair a tangle of platinum against the lavender sheets. He bent down and kissed her. He found his pants on the floor and fished his phone out of his out pocket to set the alarm. They would need to have enough time to swing by the harbor to pick up a bag for him on the way to the airport tomorrow. He took the phone with him as he padded naked out to the kitchen.
He got a glass of water, leaned against the counter, and called Ben, who picked up on the first ring.
“How’s Timothy?” he asked without preamble.
“Same. It’s just a waiting game until tomorrow morning.”
“How’s Mama holding up?”
“Auntie Dot is helping hold her together. Mama’s tough. She’s been in the chapel almost the whole time.”
“I’ve been doing a lot of praying, too,” Quinn admitted.
“I think we all have.” Ben paused. “You’re sounding a lot better. Did Kara get it through your thick skull that you’re not to blame for this?”
“She got several things through my thick skull, but, Ben, I finally got some things through her thick skull, too. I think we’re finally going to be able to get a ring on our girl’s finger.” Quinn coughed, trying to clear his throat. His emotions were just so overwhelming.
“Woo-hoo!” Quinn couldn’t get the phone away from his ear fast enough. He thought he might have suffered permanent ear drum damage.
“Goddammit, Ben!”
“That’s the best fucking news I’ve had in the last eighteen months! Everything sucks, and if you expect me to do anything but whoop, you’re out of your goddamn mind, Quinn.” Put like that, Quinn couldn’t disagree. He grinned.
“Hey, look, Kara said she’s got us on the earliest flight up to Sitka.”
“I know, she told me earlier. I’m picking you up.”
“Are you sure? We can just grab a cab to the hospital.” Quinn refused to think that they would be meeting anywhere else.
“I need to see you both, okay?” Quinn could hear the break in his brother’s voice.
Claiming Kara [Fate Harbor 3] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 24
