Chapter Seventy-two
Kate
I TOOK A few minutes to collect myself after Marissa told me about Becky Moore, then I went into the bedroom to call my father.
Unfortunately, there was no answer. Or maybe he got call display so he could ignore me. It wouldn’t be the first time.
I called many times over the next few hours, but no one answered. Worn out from jet lag and travel fatigue, eventually I could do nothing but collapse into bed with a goal to call the adoption agency first thing in the morning.
I was up at five and it was torture to wait until normal business hours in Connecticut. When at last I dialed the number, I was relieved when a real person, Ms. Bowers, answered.
I told her who I was, and explained everything.
I scanned my birth certificate and emailed it to her, along with a written document with my signature, requesting access to the files.
When she compared my signature to the original documents, she told me it didn’t match.
I found a letter my father had written to me years ago with his signature on it, scanned it, and sent it by email.
I waited a long time for her to reply. When she finally called, she informed me that they suspected my signature had been forged. They would be contacting the authorities to investigate my father’s actions, and Ms. Bowers suggested I speak to a lawyer.
It was not easy to comprehend that what I had suspected all my life was true: My child was alive. She had survived the accident, and I was never crazy for believing it. My instincts as a mother were real, and it shocked me to realize that she may have been living in my hometown the entire time – if in fact she was Rebecca Moore. I still did not have confirmation.
Had we ever passed each other on the street? Did we ever sit in the same theater and watch the same movie? How many times had I stumbled across her picture in the paper and read about the prestigious Moore family from Bar Harbor? If she was my daughter, how could I not have recognized her?
These were questions I could not answer. All I knew was that the young woman who could be my daughter was here in Nova Scotia, not far from me, now, and my darling, beloved stepdaughter, Marissa, had been the one to find her.
Once I recovered from the shock of learning the truth – and stopped crying tears of joy over the fact that my baby was alive – I had to wrap my head around the fact that my father had betrayed me in the worst possible way and had been lying to me for over twenty years.
Had my mother known? I wondered furiously as I stood on the back deck, squeezing the railing, squinting into the morning sun rising over the horizon.
No, surely that wasn’t possible. For the most part, my mother had been a submissive wife, but when push came to shove, she stood up for what was right. She never forced me to have the abortion. Somehow she convinced Dad to let me have my baby.
No, this was something he must have done on his own. He had lied to her, too.
My vision clouded, and a twitchy feeling reached my extremities. I had always considered myself to be a calm, level-headed woman, and I took great pride in my self-control in emergency situations. In that moment, however, I wanted to scream and hit something – my father, specifically. I wanted to see blood. It was a good thing he was many miles away, or my mug shot might have ended up on the 6:00 news.
Thank God for cell phones, because I really needed to blow a gasket, and he, of all people, deserved to be hit by some flying emotional debris.
I went back inside, pulled my phone out of my purse, and keyed in his number. Naturally, there was no answer, so I decided, with a rather perverse sense of pleasure, to leave a nasty voicemail.
“Dad! You really should pick up the phone once in a while, because you have a lot of explaining to do.” I clenched my jaw. “Sometimes, you know, karma comes back to bite you in the ass, and I’m calling to give you fair warning. I know what you did. I know because she’s here. She’s here in Chester, where I live. I called the adoption agency in Boston and they –”
Beep! ‘If you are satisfied with your message...’
“Shit! Are you kidding me?” I lowered the phone from my ear and pounded my index finger over the screen to redial my father’s number.
Ring, ring...
Still, no answer. I was pacing like a rabid animal by now. I wanted to strangle someone.
Again, I was directed to voicemail.
“Dad!” I shouted. “I know you’ve been lying to me, and I swear to God, I will never forgive you for this. I know who she is, and I know about how you forged my signature on the papers. How could you do that? How could you tell me she was dead? Especially after losing Mia! How could you give away your only grandchild? Did your reputation mean more to you than your own flesh and blood? My God, if Mom was alive today to learn about this, I can’t imagine what she would think. I can’t even speak right now, I am so angry with you. I have to go. Bye.”
I ended the call and slammed my phone down on the granite countertop in the kitchen.
For a long while I stared at it, breathing hard while adrenaline sparked and fired through my bloodstream.
That felt good, but I knew at some point, I would need to face Dad in person.
Chapter Seventy-three
WHAT WOULD I have done without Marissa? I can’t begin to imagine.
That afternoon, when I was beside myself with indecision about how I should handle the situation, Marissa suggested that I allow her to contact Mrs. Moore on my behalf and ask to meet her for a drink. Marissa was willing to be my liaison with the senator’s family, and said she would gently probe into what they might, or might not want.
Mrs. Moore graciously accepted Marissa’s invitation, and Ryan and I waited at home for more than two hours. We turned on the television but I couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything. It was the longest two hours of my life.
Then my cell phone vibrated, and I received a text from Marissa.
Hey Kate. I hope you’re decent. Mrs. Moore and I are on our way over right now. Becky is with us.
I think I might have swallowed my gum. I sat forward on the sofa and handed the phone to Ryan. He read the text, and looked up at me with a smile.
“Are you ready for this?”
“I don’t know,” I replied, laying a hand over my heart. “What if it’s all a big mistake? What if she’s not really my daughter? Mrs. Bowers wouldn’t tell me anything. And Lord knows, this has happened before.” I shut my eyes and tried to catch my breath. “I wish I could be as calm as you are.”
He shook his head. “I’m not that calm. But I think this could be a really good thing, no matter how it turns out. One way or another, you’re going to have an answer tonight. We hope.”
Seeing the wisdom in his optimism, I stood up and went to change out of my leggings and oversized sweatshirt. It wasn’t easy to choose an outfit. Should I wear a skirt? Heels? Mrs. Moore was the wife of a senator. What would she be wearing?
For at least five minutes, I rifled through my closet. In the end, I settled on a casual olive-colored skirt with a black T-shirt, and flat brown leather sandals. I combed my hair, brushed my teeth, and put on some clear lip gloss.
Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I did not see the woman I was today. I saw the sixteen-year-old girl I was twenty years ago, when I took a pregnancy test in my bathroom and collapsed on the floor from the shock of the result.
I was still that same girl, and I was about to meet my daughter for the first time.
The sound of a car pulling into the driveway sent my heart into a frenzy. Voices reached me through the open window in the bathroom, as car doors opened and closed.
Chapter Seventy-four
AS I WAITED in the kitchen for Ryan to greet Marissa and our guests at the door, I feared my cheeks, and all the rest of me, might burst into flames.
I listened with hyper-sensitive ears to the sound of the front door opening. Ryan greeted everyone in his usual friendly manner.
“Hi, you must be Sandra. And you’re Becky?”
>
“Yes, it’s nice to meet you.”
Becky’s voice shot right through me, and I wondered why I was waiting here in the kitchen to be introduced. It was making the anticipation that much more unbearable.
Oh, but how grateful I was for Ryan’s calm and charismatic presence at the door. Without seeing the faces of our guests, I knew he was putting everyone at ease.
“Come on in,” he said, and they entered the front hall. “I hear you’re competing this week. Marissa said you have a champion of a boat.”
I assumed it was Mrs. Moore who replied. “That’s quite a compliment. We certainly enjoyed having Marissa on board yesterday. She’s a top-notch sailor. You must be very proud of her.”
Ryan paused. “Yeah, well...” He paused. “She’s all right, I guess.”
Becky laughed boisterously – at least I think it was Becky – and I heard the sound of Marissa punching Ryan in the arm.
“Ouch!” he said, chuckling.
They began moving toward the kitchen, and every second felt earth-shatteringly slow to me... until at last, I saw their faces.
It was exactly how I imagined it would be. The moment I laid eyes on Becky Moore, I knew she was my daughter. It was like seeing another version of myself as a young woman. The physical similarities were uncanny. She had many of the same features as me – the upturned nose, the freckled complexion, and suddenly I understood what people meant when they said I had compelling eyes. Her hair was thick, wavy, and red like mine, and her smile was almost disconcerting to behold.
I was surprised that I felt no anger, no regret, no compulsion to fall apart and weep over all the lost years. I felt nothing but euphoria to see my adult daughter so full of spirit and happiness. I knew at once that she’d had a wonderful life. For the first time I actually believed that the deep fracture in my heart might begin to heal.
She was alive. My baby. And she was beautiful.
When my heart floated back down to the ground, I realized Ryan was standing beside me with his hand on the small of my back. “Sandra, Becky... this is my wife, Kate. Kate, this is Sandra and Becky Moore.”
I moved to shake their hands. I’m not sure what I expected, but I was thankful this wasn’t escalating into a histrionic, emotional scene where we would hug each other and weep uncontrollably. That would have been difficult to bear.
Not to understate the drama that was playing out inside of me – my heart was pounding thunderously. I was mesmerized and speechless.
All my life I had dreamed of finding my baby. Now, here she was, in the flesh, in my home, shaking my hand.
Marissa moved to stand beside Becky. “This is strange, isn’t it,” she said, breaking the ice with a strangely graceful sledgehammer. I loved her for it.
My gaze locked with Mrs. Moore’s. Her eyes were warm and smiling, as if we shared a common secret. To my surprise, I wanted to rush into her arms and hug her and weep like a baby.
“It certainly is,” Sandra said. “You have no idea how many times we wished we could find out what happened to you, and wished we knew more about you. We never imagined you were from our own hometown.”
“I was curious about you, too,” I replied.
“No, you don’t understand,” she continued, moving toward me to clasp both my hands in hers. “I’m so relieved to finally know that you didn’t die in that accident. You have no idea how we dreamed of a moment like this, how we talked about it. Becky always said she was certain you survived. She never stopped believing it, and she was sure that one day, somehow, we would find you.”
So much for polite, genteel greetings. A flood of emotion welled up inside me, and my eyes filled with tears. “I never believed you were dead either.”
Before I could take another breath, Becky walked into my arms. Suddenly we were embracing each other. Blinking in disbelief, I felt the beat of her heart against my chest; I breathed in the clean natural fragrance of her skin. Oh, God, it was the answer to all my prayers.
I felt reborn.
I never had the chance to hold her when she was a baby, to press my nose to her soft, tiny head, or watch her clasp my finger in her little palm, but how many times had I dreamed of it?
This moment was everything I’d ever wanted, and more – because now I knew that she had been dreaming of this, too. All her life.
“I’m so happy to finally meet you,” I managed to say through shaky breaths. “I feel so lucky – to know that you found a good family.”
“They found me,” she said with a smile that moved me deeply as she drew back and looked into my eyes. I was spellbound.
“Thank you for unsealing the files,” Sandra said. “I was able to call the agency as soon as Marissa told me what happened. They confirmed everything.”
“They unsealed the files?”
“You didn’t know?”
I shook my head. “Maybe they weren’t sure of the legal issues,” I suggested. “I think they’re afraid I’m going to sue them.”
“You would have every right to,” she replied. “What happened was... unthinkable. I give you my word that Gerry will look into it. He’ll want to make sure nothing like this ever happens again.”
“I appreciate that.”
Sandra paused. “I’m so sorry, Kate. If we had known the papers were forged, we never would have gone ahead with the adoption.”
“I don’t blame you,” I assured her. “You did nothing wrong. You’re good people, and I’m grateful that you took such good care of Becky. If you only knew how many times I prayed that she was alive, and if she was, that she was with a family just like yours.”
Ryan offered drinks to all of us. While he and Marissa mixed up a pitcher of iced tea, the rest of us moved into the living room.
Becky sat down beside me. “There’s so much I want to know about you,” she said. “Marissa tells me you were a paramedic.”
I nodded and told her about my career in New Hampshire. One thing led to another, and soon everything came out – how I almost had an abortion but changed my mind at the last minute, how Glenn and I were married right after high school, how we weren’t able to have any more children, and how he eventually became involved with some bad people. That brought us to the reason why, and how, I ended up in Chester.
“First of all,” Becky said, “thank you for walking out of the abortion clinic that day. I’m happy you decided to have me, or I wouldn’t be here. That was very brave of you.”
“I think I had some sort of vision of you,” I replied, “because I saw a little red-haired girl, and I heard her laughing. Now here you are, with red hair and an infectious laugh. It’s so strange to think about.”
We all fell silent, but there was no awkwardness to it.
“Maybe this was how it was always meant to be,” I said, “because I was so young. I’m not positive I would have been the best parent for you.”
“I’m sure you would have been great,” Becky said, taking hold of my hand and squeezing it.
I regarded her with warmth and appreciation. “You’ve had a good life, and I can see how much your mom loves you, and how you love her. I can’t lie. I’ll always be angry with my father for what he did, but when I look at you now, I feel very blessed to know that you had the life I always wanted for you. I wished on every star, and now I can’t help but believe that dreams and wishes do come true, and miracles do happen.”
“Kate.” Marissa gave me a look as she set down the tray of iced tea. “Speaking of miracles...”
I didn’t understand at first, and then I remembered.
Chapter Seventy-five
“IS THIS YOURS?” Kate asked Becky.
Sandra gasped and covered her mouth with a hand, while Becky stood up from her chair. “Oh, my. Where did you find him?”
“I’m not sure, exactly,” Marissa said, “because it was my grandmother who found him, and she passed away last Christmas. But it must have been somewhere in the village. She brought him home to me one day and said he was an orphan
, and that he needed a good home.”
Becky took Bubba into her arms and turned to her mother.
“We lost him years ago,” Sandra said, “when we sailed up here for the summer. We searched everywhere for him, and whenever we came back, we always hoped we’d stumble across him somehow. But he was with you all along? How in the world did you know he belonged to Becky?”
“Because he used to belong to me,” I replied. “He was with me in the ambulance when I had the accident, and the only explanation I can give is that my father did at least one thing right. When he took you to the agency, he must have made sure Bubba went with you. The only question I had was how Bubba ended up here in Chester. When Marissa heard that your family had been coming here from Bar Harbor for years, that’s what made her think about the connections.”
Though I would always resent my father for what he did, I decided in that moment that I would choose to be grateful for that one small gesture on his part. He had made sure that a part of me stayed with my baby.
Becky hugged Bubba tight to her chest, and again, her smile and laughter moved right through me.
Epilogue
I AM NOT sure how to finish my story, because it isn’t truly finished. I still live in Chester with Ryan, and I am in awe of the world and all the magic that happens around us. I look up at the sky and marvel at the clouds. I’m moved by the beauty of the sun reflecting off the water like thousands of shimmering diamonds. How lucky we all are to be surrounded by such magnificence.
I also marvel at Ryan’s handsome profile when we are driving in the car, going somewhere we’ve never been before. I’m filled with joy each time he smiles at me or takes my hand in his.
I’ll never regret the fact that I was pregnant as a teenager, and I will always believe it was my destiny to love Glenn. Nor will I forget that I was forced to say good-bye to many people I loved. It’s a lot of grief for one person to carry. There was a time I was bitter about all I lost. It seemed very unfair.
The Color of Heaven Series [02] The Color of Destiny Page 18
