“I love you, Jake.” I moan, wanting the whole world to know my remarkable feelings for this man.
My words are his undoing. He grabs hold of my thighs, wrapping them around his waist and presses his impressive, imposing length against me. The feel of him sliding against my slick folds is sensational.
“You’re sure?” He asks, tearing himself away from me. He gazes into my eyes, searching for the smallest flicker of doubt or uncertainty.
“I’m sure, Jake. Please don’t make me wait a moment longer.”
Jake doesn’t even hesitate; he quickly flips me over onto my back before lowering his body onto mine. He’s so strong and athletic; he could easily crush me if he weren’t supporting his weight like he is. His touch is extremely soft and tender, as though I’m fragile and could be easily broken.
I keep my eyes firmly locked on his; the connection between us is beyond anything I can describe.
“Baby, I want to try and make this as pleasurable for you as I can. I need you to promise me that you’ll say if you’re uncomfortable or if it’s hurting too much, ok? If you want me to stop, I will. This means everything to me and I’ll take care of you, I promise.”
I nod, acknowledging his request.
“I trust you.”
“Good. Now relax these.” He gently nudges one of my thighs which I realise I’ve been keeping rigid and tense. I let them fall open, making room for Jake to settle in-between them.
His hand travels down my body, stroking my skin like silk. He stops when he reaches his intended destination, his thumb circling my clit in soothing circles. He knows exactly how to tease me, increasing his pace until I’m writhing beneath him, at his mercy and begging him to continue. My hips automatically join in with the sensual rhythm he’s created. I’m so lost to the inexplicable sensations; I’m taken by complete surprise when my pleasure is quickly replaced by a sharp, burning pain. I flinch, instantly pulled out of my carnal state. Jake stops, instantly aware of my unease.
“I’m sorry.” I mumble pathetically, despising myself for being so weak.
“Are you ok? Did I hurt you?” He asks with a voice full of concern.
“I’m fine.” I lie, trying to rid myself of the anxiety that’s trying to take hold.
I comfort myself with the knowledge that after the initial pain and discomfort, Jake and I will be inextricably intertwined. Our connection will never be broken, we will always share this.
My hands curl into fists, grabbing the material beneath me as I start to feel Jake slowly edging his way inside of me. More than anything I want my body to accommodate him, I don’t want there to be any barrier between us. He continues to stroke me and once again I find myself responding to him. He’s already brought me so close to a second climax; it won’t take much for me to reach that stage again.
“Fuck, you feel amazing, Bethany.” He groans, gently rocking back and forth on top of me. “You like it when I talk to you like this?” He asks, his voice dripping with sexuality.
God, I love the sound of his voice, especially when he’s describing how I feel to him. A satisfied moan escapes my lips, revealing the true extent of his stimulation.
“Yes.” I answer him, trailing my fingernails down his back.
“I want you to come again, Bethany. Do you think you can do that? I love watching you come for me.”
I feel myself relaxing as he coaxes me into submission. His thumb continues to caress my most sensitive spot as he presses himself against my entrance. He carefully begins to press against me but once again, I can feel my body trying to resist him. He persists, nudging inside of me with so much caution. He really meant what he said when he told me he would try his best not to hurt me.
I’m starting to think there’s no way he’s going to be able to fit when the burning sensation returns. This time its ten times worse and I realise he’s now inside of me. I clench myself around him, resulting in a loud groan from Jake. His arms are still supporting his weight above me and the restraint he is exerting over himself is nothing short of incredible. I know how difficult this must be for him, when every single one of his instincts must be screaming at him to plunge all the way inside. However, he wants this to be memorable and forever meaningful for me and he’s willing to make that sacrifice to make this special for me.
I decide to be bold and experiment by moving my hips. The motion helps Jake to slide another inch of himself inside. God, I don’t know how I’ll be able to take all of him, he’s so big and I’m so tiny. Why does this have to hurt so much? I want to be experiencing the wondrous pleasure that Jake is and I can’t help but why all of this pain has to come with losing my virginity?
Jake’s eyes remain focused on mine, staring steadily and intently into them. He’s studying my facial expressions for any sign of unease or discomfort and the connection this makes me feel for him is so heartfelt and profound. I don’t think I will ever recover from this boy and what he does to me.
I close my eyes, losing myself to the new and remarkable excitement of having Jake penetrate me. The initial pain I first felt has somewhat subsided and it’s now being replaced by something different. My euphoric elation successfully overrides any unpleasantness I might have felt.
“You’re so fucking tight.” Jake mutters strenuously.
I sense the heat rising in my cheeks and I’m grateful Jake can no longer witness my crimson face. His face is now tucked into my shoulder, intensifying the sensation of his ragged breathing against my damp skin.
“Don’t stop, Jake.” I implore him when he starts to slow down his movements.
“Bethany, there are no words to describe how beautiful you feel.” He pants breathlessly, running his tongue against the moistened skin of my shoulder.
We’re damp and sweaty but it only heightens the level of intimacy between us and increases the urgency of moment. Feeling emboldened, I decide to confess my most ardent desire, hoping Jake won’t think I’m too forward or ridiculous.
“Jake, I want you to come inside me.” I whisper, swirling my tongue against the outer shell of his ear.
My request seems to tip him over the edge, making him plunge so deeply inside. I moan loudly, a mixture of fulfilment and pain.
“Shit, I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”
I vehemently shake my head, wanting Jake to take what he needs from me, something I’m more than willing to give.
“Yes! Oh, Jake, yes!” I scream shamelessly, thrashing my head from side to side on the pillow beneath me.
I’m experiencing an unbelievable, inexpressible, rapturous moment. I no longer feel in control of myself or my body’s stimulation. Jake now consumes me, mind body and soul. Being so closely connected to him and sharing myself so intimately somehow transports me to a place I’ve never ventured before. I feel wild, reckless and unimaginably free.
“I want you to come for me when I tell you to, can you do that for me, baby?”
“Just keep talking.” I urge him, wanting his words to incite my release.
“Just think of me being so deep inside of you right now. You’re wrapped so tightly around me, Bethany. I’m all the way inside you and I can feel how badly your sweet little pussy wants me. I want you to squeeze me, baby. Squeeze me so tight.”
An explosion goes off in my head, forcing me to do as he asks; I clinch my muscles around Jake, wanting to hold onto him for dear life, wanting to force a euphoric, eruptive response from him.
The only thing is… I want more. The burning, uncomfortable sensation still exists and the only thing strong enough to override the insurmountable pain is my arousal.
“Jake, I need more, please.” I beg him, no longer ashamed by the sexual demands I’m making.
Jake stills on top of me, firmly taking hold of my chin to make sure I’m looking directly at him.
“You want it harder? Then look at me and say those words to me.”
I smile up at him, a sexual confrontational look on my face.
“Fuck. Me. Harder.” I
beg, daring him to give me what I want.
Playtime between us is over, after weeks of tension, longing and temptation; we both need that final release. I’ve been craving him for so long, I want everything. I want to take everything he has to give.
I’m taken by surprise when Jake pulls the hair at the nape of my neck, forcing my neck back and making my body arch. He drives into me full force and his own groans of pleasure mingle with my own as our bodies thrust against one another, desperately seeking what the other can provide. My legs circle his waist, pulling him even deeper. I no longer feel like the naive young girl who brought Jake up here. I’m impassioned, exhilarated and jubilant in my ability to evoke this much passion and desire from him.
“Come for me, Bethany. I need to feel your pussy tighten around me.”
Hearing the intensity and desperation in his voice, I let go. I surrender myself to him in a way I never thought to be possible as my body writhes and twists beneath him.
“Jake, yes, oh, yes!” I yell, aroused by the sound of my own voice.
“Fuck, I can feel your beautiful pussy squeezing me. You’re so tight, baby. You feel amazing. Do you still want me to come inside you?” He asks, framing my face with his hands so our eyes are locked together.
“Yes.” I mutter quietly, nodding my head in case he didn’t hear me. I’m only just coming down from the tremendous, mind-blowing orgasm he just gave me and once again am feeling dizzy and light-headed.
“Say it.” He demands, glaring at me with his smouldering, suggestive eyes.
I’m still lost; I’m still in that post-coital, celestial, blissful state. If you had just visited paradise would you ever want to leave?
“Come inside me, Jake. I need to feel you.”
His expression darkens and the flames dancing behind his gaze ignites. I wet my lower lip with my tongue, causing his eyes to fall to my mouth. His thrusts become more frantic, impassioned and fervent. He continues to take me with so much force and desperation.
“Look at me.”
The intensity in his voice is insistent and feral; he wants to watch me as he takes complete ownership over my body. I raise my eye, staring up at his extremely beautiful face; I’m taken aback by the overwhelming happiness and joy that consumes me when I look at him. Jake is the missing part of me, the part that was always lost; he’s the one I’ve been searching for, the one I never thought I’d find. I’m not only sharing my body with him, I’m sharing my soul.
“I love you, Jake. I need this and I want to feel you. Make me yours.”
My words are his undoing. He grabs hold of my face, crushing his lips against mine. His tongue plunges into my mouth, mirroring the action of our love making. I cling to him, rejoicing in this moment and the knowledge that Jake and I have now shared something that can never be erased or replaced.
His amorous, vigorous movements gradually slow down until he eventually stills on top of me. His breathing is laboured and I can feel his heart pounding against my chest. He places a considerate, delicate kiss on my forehead and I take a quick glance down at his naked body on top of mine noticing that his skin is such a dark contrast to my own. His body is solid, powerful and strong, making my own appear even more fragile and soft. Jake is the embodiment of perfection and now that we’re no longer in the midst of our passion I begin to reacquaint myself with my familiar insecurities.
“You really have no flaws, do you?” I joke, only half playful.
He smiles at me, running his thumb over my bottom lip. I open my mouth and take in the tip, sucking on it and gently nibbling.
“Maybe I should hold up a mirror for you to look into, let you see the true definition of perfection.”
He’s still breathless, his chest rising and falling against my naked breasts. I love the feel of his skin against my own; it manages to distract me against the excruciating pain between my legs. Now that the raw passion between us has subsided, I’m consumed by the awareness of how sore I am. I wince when Jake shifts his position; he’s still inside of me but continues to support his weight so that he won’t crush me. He notices my grimace and apologises, kissing my cheek before he gently pulls out of me and I’m left with an intense burning sensation in his place. I recognise the huge transition my body has just been through and I can hardly believe that I’m no longer a virgin. The knowledge of this is exciting; it’s invigorating and wonderful but I’m also worried that other people will be able to tell. What if I look different? What if my mum looks at me and instinctively knows?
“Shit, are you really sore?” Jake asks, obviously noticing the pain on my face now that he’s left my body.
“Yes.” I answer truthfully.
“I’m so sorry, baby. It will get easier, I promise.” He strokes the side of my face, leaning in to kiss me.
“I’ll be ok. It was worth it.” I say bashfully.
“You were worth it, Bethany. You were incredible; I’ve never experienced anything like that before in my life. You do believe me, don’t you?” He asks, imploring me to believe him.
“Of course I believe you, Jake.” I smile up at him, grateful that he feels the same as I do. What just happened between us was life changing. It’s something I will never forget and I just know that every glorious moment we shared together will be ingrained in my heart forever.
Its when we’re both in the middle of putting our clothes back on that I start to worry about Jake and whether he’ll be comfortable with letting me return home. I can’t see him being ok with me living under the same roof as my father now that he knows about the bruises on my arms, even if he is away for the next week.
“What are you thinking about?”
I’m startled when Jake’s arms circle around my waist and he rests his chin on my shoulder. His lips graze my skin and I tremble, delighting in his gentle caress.
“Nothing, it doesn’t matter” I reply, shaking my head.
“You don’t regret what just happened?” He asks, turning me around to face him with a concerned, anxious look on his face.
“I don’t regret anything, I promise you.” I assure him.
“Are you sure? You looked like you were deep in thought about something.”
I can see how doubtful and unsure he is, I don’t want Jake to think that I’m upset about what just happened and so I blurt out the one thing I can think of that would explain my contemplation.
“I was just wondering if you’ve ever taken someone’s virginity before.”
His face drains of colour and he frowns, turning his back on me as he continues getting dressed. I freeze as my heart starts to beat wildly inside my chest. I only asked that question to evade Jake’s concern but now he’s acting as though he has something to hide.
“No, I haven’t.” He replies sharply.
“Can look at me and say that?” I challenge him.
He turns around with a dark, sombre expression on his face.
“I told you that no one has ever been important to me before. I’ve never been someone’s first because I know how special that is and I’ve never cared about somebody enough to take their virginity. Not until you.”
I observe him closely, watching for any signs of hesitancy or unease. I notice his fists are clenched by his sides, making him seem agitated and cross. I can’t help but wonder why he would be angry right now. Deciding to ignore my doubt, I nod my head and choose to accept his explanation.
“I’m sorry, Jake. I couldn’t help but wonder.” I mumble faintly, feeling guilty for questioning him like this.
“You don’t need to wonder, Bethany. You’re the only one.”
He’s still surly and solemn as he continues to get dressed in silence.
“Do you have to put this on?” I ask flirtatiously, pulling his T-shirt from his hands.
“Nope, I can leave it off but only if you remove this.” He grins, toying with the buttons on my blouse and taking a step closer towards me.
I’m so relieved to see him being playful, I actually consid
er letting him undress me again. His fingers persist in their explanation of my buttons and it’s only when I actually feel him start to undo them that I force myself to pull away.
“Jake, we can’t. I have to get going. Mum will be really worried about me; I’ve already been gone ages.”
He groans, making a woeful puppy dog expression but thankfully acquiesces and allows me to finish getting ready. I’m about to walk out of the bedroom and into the hallway when he grabs me by the waist, spinning me around to face him. He’s as white as a sheet; I’ve never seen him so terrified.
“Bethany, we didn’t use anything.” He whispers, as though he’s scared to vocalise what he’s just realised.
I gape up at him in horror. He’s right, we didn’t use any protection. How could we have been so reckless?!
“Oh, God.” I mumble, cradling my face in my hands.
“And I came inside you. Fuck! How could I have been so stupid?” He yells, tugging his fingers through his hair.
“Jake, you’re not the only one to blame. It’s as much my responsibility as it is yours. I didn’t even think about it.”
I start biting my nails, willing the tears in my eyes not to fall. I can’t believe one moment of thoughtlessness can result in such naivety in two people.
“Shh, don’t cry. Everything will be alright, I promise you.” He closes the gap between us, pulling me towards him.
“I can’t we just did that.” I sob, clinging to him with all my might.
“Blame me. It’s my fault and I should have made sure we used something. Bethany, look at me. This is not you’re fault and I don’t want you to be scared, I promise you you’re not at risk. I’m clean; I got a check up just a few weeks ago.”
“You did?” I ask, at once feeling better.
“Yeah, I wanted to make sure I was ok before we…”
“But you’ve never had sex without a condom before, right?” I ask, hating the fact that I have to ask this question and despising the idea of Jake being so intimate with another person.
“I’ve always used something and I’d never do anything that would harm you or put you at risk.” He soothes me, stroking my hair and rocking me back and forth.
Always & Forever Page 31
