“Bethany?”
I spin around to see Jake standing in the doorway behind me.
“Is everything ok?” I ask.
“Not really. That was my sister, Carla. She needs my help, some people have turned up at the house, my mum’s not there and she’s panicking.”
“What do you mean people have turned up? They weren’t invited?”
I’m struggling to understand why his sister needs his help, if someone you don’t want to see turns up at your front door, can’t you just ask them to leave?
“Yeah, some idiots have been taking advantage lately; they’ve been using my house as a place to hold their parties. I put a stop to it a few weeks ago but I guess they found out I wouldn’t be home tonight. Carla’s on her own and she needs me to hurry home and get rid of everyone.” He sighs
“It’s ok.” I assure him.
“No, it’s not. I want to spend every moment with you that I can. The time we spend together is so precious and now I have to leave. I really don’t want to have to deal with a bunch of drunk, brainless bastards who think they can use my house as a place to get wasted and stoned.”
“Jake, it really is ok.”
“I thought I was going to be able to spend the entire evening with you. This just really sucks.”
“Ok, so I’ll come with you.” I say simply.
He flinches, a hardened expression taking over his face.
“No. That’s not even an option, Bethany. I don’t want you anywhere near those people.” He says decidedly.
“I wouldn’t go inside or anything. I’ll wait at the end of your road or something and once you’ve cleared everybody out, we can come back here. We’ll still be able to spend the evening together.”
I don’t know if Jake will ever agree to this but a huge part of me is dying to see Jake’s house, his surroundings and even his sister. I have no desire whatsoever to meet the people he’s talking about and that’s why I suggested waiting for him instead.
“God, I don’t know, Bethany. I really don’t want you anywhere near the place, not with all those idiots around. Even when they’re sober they’re still scumbags.”
“Are you ashamed of me?”
The thought of it devastates me, although it would make a lot of sense. Jake and I are worlds apart; he’s so far out of my league. He’s the sort of boy girls like me dream about having, it’s a beautiful fantasy but never a reality. If we had gone to the same school I’m sure Jake would have been the most popular guy there. As for me, I was practically invisible. I’ve always been the girl who blends into the background.
“Of course not! How could I ever be ashamed of you?” He frowns, striding over to me near the window.
“Are they your friends? Is that why you don’t want me to go with you?”
He shifts from one foot to the other, he looks embarrassed and his reluctance to answer my question only arouses my suspicions even more.
“They’re not my friends anymore but they used to be. I outgrew their friendship a long time ago when I realised that I’d end up with nothing if I chose to remain involved with them.”
He reaches out for me, caressing my cheek with the palm of his hand. I take a step back, wondering why something about this just doesn’t add up. If Jake used to be friends with the people he now refers to as scumbags, what does that say about Jake and who he used to be?
“You’re so reluctant for me to see them; it makes me wonder what you were like before I met you.” I sulk.
“I’m not proud of the person I used to be but you have to believe me when I tell you that don’t have anything to do with those guys anymore.”
“Then why won’t you let me come with you?” I argue.
“Fine. Come with me. I don’t like it but if it’s the only way I can prove to you that I’m not ashamed then I’ll do it.”
He runs his thumb over my bottom lip, freeing it from my teeth. I’d been biting it and I hadn’t even realised.
“You mean it? I can come with you?”
“Yes, but let’s go now before I change my mind.” He groans, leaning into me so our foreheads are touching.
“I’m ready when you are.” I say, faking confidence.
I’m really scared all of a sudden, paralysed with fear from the thought of what I’ve talked myself into.
“You smell amazing.” He whispers huskily, pressing his lips into my neck and inhaling deeply.
“Come on. The sooner we leave, the sooner we can come back.” I duck underneath his arm and hurry for the door, I really want to get this over with but I’m too much of a coward to admit I’m afraid. Jake moans despairingly, allowing me to take his hand and lead him out the door.
He says nothing throughout the entire walk over to his place and his silence makes me more nervous about what I’m walking into. The butterflies in my stomach are going crazy, fluttering their tiny little wings, making my tummy churn. I’m so fearful about finding something out about Jake that I won’t like; his stormy expression doesn’t help either. I can see he’s dreading this just as much as I am.
We arrive fifteen minutes later. It’s pretty obvious which house is Jake’s by the volume of the music blaring down the street. Eminem’s ‘The Monster’ is pouring out of every window in the house. Jake stops and turns to face me, placing both of his hands on my shoulders.
“I’m going to go in and get Carla to come out here. She can wait with you whilst I chuck everybody out because I don’t want you out here alone. Don’t follow me in there; I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He says firmly.
“Ok.”
“Promise me, Bethany.” He insists, squeezing my shoulders gently.
“I promise. I’ll wait right here.” I assure him.
He has no reason to doubt me; I have no intention of venturing into that house. There are lots of people mingling about outside, a few of them are looking our way, probably wondering what Jake is doing with me,
“Ok, I’ll try and make this quick.”
He kisses my forehead before walking away from me in the direction of the party. I watch him ignore several greetings people call out to him and disappear through the front door. I make my way over to the house opposite Jake’s and lean against the garden wall. Jake said he would send his sister outside to wait with me and I have to admit, I am really curious to meet her. I wonder what she’s like, if she’ll be friendly towards me and if she even knows about me at all. Jake is such a private person, I can’t imagine him telling his family about me.
A few minutes go by and the music from the party has yet to stop. Rita Ora’s ‘Radioactive’ is now playing and when I next look upwards the party, I notice two girls making their way over to me. One of them has long blonde hair and the other has dark. The blonde has a drink in her hand and is unsteady on her feet, giving the impression that she’s already consumed plenty of alcohol tonight. I wonder if the dark haired girl is Carla? I guess she must be because the blonde one looks nothing like Jake, even though she is exceptionally beautiful. I can’t help but compare myself to the striking girls, they’re both gorgeous and I feel ridiculously plain stood next to them.
“Are you with Jake?” The blonde girl demands to know, looking me up and down like I’m a piece of dirt. Her voice is cruel and I don’t understand why there’s so much hatred in her eyes. She’s wearing a really short dress, one that barely conceals her tiny body and I can’t help but notice how attractive she is. She’s stunning.
“Sorry?” I ask, wondering if I misheard her.
I feel really uncomfortable; every instinct in my body is telling me to leave and to get out of here. I feel as though I suddenly feel like I’m surrounded by danger, which is silly because I know Jake is only inside. However, I can’t shake the unease creeping up my spine.
“Are. You. With. Jake?” She talks slowly, carefully pronouncing her words as though I’m stupid or hard of learning.
The girl next to her snickers, a cruel smirk plastered on her face.
“Erm… yes. I’m with him” I mumble, instantly regretting telling her the truth.
“You’ve finally found the bitch, Sarah.”
The brown haired girl grins, a wicked glint in her eye. It sends a cold tremble throughout my body and I glance at the house in front of me, frantically searching for a sign of Jake. There’s no trace of him and realising something is really wrong here, I decide my safest option is to phone him. I try to be inconspicuous, reaching for my phone in my pocket. The blonde girl who I’ve gathered is called Sarah nudges her friend and before I can do anything to stop it, the friend circles behind me and snatches the phone out of my hand.
“I really don’t want any trouble.” I say, desperate to get away from the two of them. I don’t know what their problem is but they’ve obviously got me confused with someone else, someone who they’re mad at. I can’t just walk away, they might follow me. My only hope is to delay things until Jake comes back. He said he would only be a few minutes and besides, his sister should be out here in a minute. I know Jake won’t let anything happen to me. I just need to remember that, stay calm and think rationally.
“You don’t want any trouble? It’s a little too late for that, little girl.” The blonde sneers at me.
“I don’t know what your problem is; I haven’t even met you before.”
My legs feel weak and begin to shake, I’m not sure if it’s from the cold temperature outside or the fear that’s now heightened all the senses in my body, preparing me for a fight or flight scenario.
“You really have no idea who I am?” She asks me, the icy tone in her voice sends another shivers down my spine. This girl is ruthless and I hate the way she’s looking at me, it’s as though she could destroy me with in one swoop.
“I don’t.” I answer truthfully, despising the condescending way she’s talking to me, it’s as though she knows something I don’t, something she truly can’t wait to tell me.
“I’m Jake’s girlfriend.” She grins at me victoriously, savouring every word and delighting in the horrified expression on my face.
I inhale sharply, trying to remain calm. Did she really just say she was Jake’s girlfriend? That can’t be true. No, it’s not. It’s not true. Jake wouldn’t do this to me. He loves me, I know he does.
“You’re lying.”
I sound much braver than I feel. Inside, I’m crumbling. On the outside, I’m calm and composed. I suppose I really have learnt a thing or two living with my father, he made me an excellent liar and a convincing actress.
“Oh, you didn’t know?” Her eyes widen in mock surprise, a triumphant sneer on his beautiful face.
“Why should I believe you?” I challenge her, folding my arms across my chest.
I shouldn’t have to stand here and listen to this, I should just run away. I’m not wearing heels and they’re both wearing stilettos, I could surely outrun them? My mind tells me all of this but my feet won’t cooperate and remain glued to the ground.
“I’ve always known about you, Jake and I have been together a long time. The last few months have been hard for us; he needed some space and time to get over what I did to him. He needed to get his own back, he wanted to punish me. It’s only because I love him so much that I tolerated his need to experiment and his slight interest in you. He wanted a virgin; he was curious and wanted to see what it would be like. I’ve just spoken to him inside and he sent me out here to tell you that you can go now. He’s finished with you, little girl. Your… services are no longer required.”
The girl standing next to her bursts out laughing, forcing a wave of nausea to wash over me. I feel unsteady, weak and horrified. I’m not even sure if I have the strength to stand. If I didn’t have a malicious audience thriving on my downfall right now, I’d have fallen to the ground several minutes ago. I grab hold of the wall behind me, holding onto it for support. Sarah watches me closely, her eyes gleaming with a vindictive satisfaction.
The last few weeks with Jake flash through my mind and I can’t help questioning if there’s any chance this girl could be telling me the truth. Could every glorious moment I’ve spent with Jake be one huge lie? The girl standing before me is absolutely gorgeous. She’s tall, slender, tanned and she has the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. Her blonde hair falls gracefully down her back and the dress she’s wearing only accentuates her enviable body. The truth is, there is no comparison between us. I’ve always know how extraordinary Jake is, I’ve been utterly ridiculous to think for one moment that Jake would really settle for such an ordinary, insignificant girl like me. Why would he when he could have someone like her?
She notices my hesitation and the flicker of doubt she’s managed to ignite. Emboldened by my weakness, she saunters over towards me, leaving little space between us. I can smell the alcohol on her breath and I can’t help but cower away from her. There’s something venomous about her, something really malicious. I’ve never been the victim of such cruelty before, only with my father.
“Stay away from me.” I try to sound fearless and bold, only it comes out as a plea instead.
“You didn’t really he was actually interested in you, did you? Come on, look at him and then take a look at yourself. The idea of him wanting you for anything more than a fuck is hilarious. I suppose I can’t blame you, I bet you were thrilled when you thought a guy like Jake wanted you. Did he tell you that he loved you? Did he tell you that you were special? You need to learn that guys will say anything to get a virgin into bed. I’m sorry if he hurt you, Sweetie. Although, you have to admit you’ve been pretty gullible. I mean, have you looked in the mirror lately? It’s laughable to think that he would ever choose you when he’s had me all along. ”
Her words sting like a million slaps to the face. I don’t want to believe the things she’s saying but it’s like she’s voiced my deepest and darkest insecurities about Jake. My relationship with him never made much sense, he’s breathtakingly handsome and I’m… forgettable. Has this really all been a game to him? We had sex for the first time five days ago. I can only imagine how easy he thinks that makes me.
“I don’t have to listen to this.”
My eyes are brimming with tears, forcing me to turn my back on her and her snickering friend. I start to walk away, incapable of listening to another word from her. Fuck Jake and this stupid party, he’s left me out here all alone, how could he do that to me? I only manage to take three steps before the friend catches up with me, preventing me from getting past her by blocking my path.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going? You think I’m going to just let you walk away when you’ve been fucking my boyfriend?” She sneers contemptuously, grabbing hold of my wrist and spinning me around to face her.
“Slut.” The friend whispers, standing behind me.
“I can understand Jake, he’s a man and he gets bored easily. He wanted to experiment and try something new, whereas you need to pay for what you’ve done.”
She smirks at her friend behind me, both of them laughing at my expense. I’m trapped, there’s no way I can escape this now. She’s going to make me stay here and listen to everything she has to say. There’s still no sign of Jake and every time I look at the house I can feel my heart break just a little bit more. He’s in there right now, he knows I’m out here by myself and he hasn’t returned. Is he really laughing at my expense? Is he boasting about his latest conquest to his friends? Is he laughing at the silly little virgin for opening her heart to him?
“Look, I just want to go. You can have him, I don’t care. I just want to leave.” I tell her, making sure my voice is completely devoid of any emotion. If I manage to convince her I don’t care about Jake, she might just let me go. She’s already getting off on the fact that she’s hurt me; I don’t want her to know how deeply she’s wounded me by her revelations.
“I told you, there’s no way I’m going to let you walk away from this. You’ve underestimated me, little girl. You think I’m just going to let this go? You have no idea what I’m
capable of; you have no idea about the ways I’m going to make you sorry.” Her cold, scornful eyes travel down my body, sizing up her competition.
“I’ve had enough of this. If what you’re saying is the truth then you can have Jake. I don’t want him but I do want my phone back, you have no right to take it.”
I can scarcely believe the words coming out of my mouth. She’s so much taller than me, she’s so much tougher than me and she has her damn friend with her for backup. This girl could easily hurt me so why the hell am I antagonising her? I suppose the reason is a small part of me just doesn’t believe what she’s saying. I remember the softness of Jake’s voice when he tells me that he loves me. I remember his eyes and how they sparkle whenever he looks at me and my heart remembers the connection it feels to him when he’s standing before me. No matter what this girl tells me, I refuse to let go of those things until I know for certain she’s speaking the truth. I need my phone, it’s my one link I have to Jake and I’m not ready to turn my back on him and say goodbye. I want answers and I want them from him.
“Oh, I’m sorry! I forgot all about your phone.” She exclaims, holding her hand out to her friend behind me.
The girl hands it over to Sarah and she offers it to me. I hesitate, wondering what her game is. Surely she wouldn’t just give me my phone back? That would be too easy. I hesitate for a moment before making a grab for it. Of course she’s too quick for me and snatches it out of the way behind her back. They both laugh at my expense and I can feel my cheeks burning with shame and humiliation.
“You give up? You don’t want to try again? Come on, I’ll close my eyes this time and make it easy for you.” She offers my phone to me again, closing her eyes.
I’m sick and tired of this bitch and her vicious mind games. I’m inwardly screaming for Jake to hurry up and save me. Where the hell is he? Why hasn’t he come back for me? I can’t believe he would abandon me like this, Jake wouldn’t. Something must have happened to him and the only way I can find out is if I get my phone back. I’m not leaving without it.
Always & Forever Page 35
