by Ali Parker
“I should have known you would have everything under control.” I laughed.
“You could have come to me Monday, and we could have already had them in.” She smiled.
“But I was being an asshole,” I said.
“I didn’t say that.” She chuckled. “Those were your words.”
“They are, but they are true nonetheless,” I said with a sigh. “I know we said we didn’t need to talk about it, and I won’t get into a long drawn out conversation with you, but I do need to say one thing. The way I handled your job offer was wrong. I should have been able to step back and look at the whole situation from your perspective and then sit down and talk it out with you. I panicked, I won’t lie. I took the whole thing personally and didn’t take the time to realize acting like that was not going to make you want to stay. I wasn’t going to act the way I did with Grey, just letting him go, but I should have kept my temper under control. Sometimes, my privilege, owning this company, making the money that I do, makes me forget that other people struggle, and they have to make difficult decisions. So, I apologize.”
“Well, I really appreciate your apology, and my hesitation and thought process on it was strictly based on the money,” she said. “I know what people say about that firm, but the money is what made the decision hard. And I lied when I said it had nothing to do with you, because it did, just not in the way you might think.”
“How so?”
“It had to do with you because when I thought about leaving the company, the one thing that made me hesitate, made me panic, was abandoning you and the team but mostly you,” she said with a blush. “I felt like we had a true connection. Whether it was personal or business, it was there, and we made a really good team. We struggled at the beginning and had that offer come a week before, you would only have seen dust trails as I ran out, but that week made all the difference in the world.”
I laughed, thinking about her taking off down the hall in her heels, paper flying everywhere as she made her mad escape. Things felt like they were starting to come back together for her and me. For the first time since the Cartier project, I actually felt comfortable with her, happy that she was around. I looked over at the time and realized if I ever wanted to get out of there, I had to get started on the project.
“But if you need my help tonight, I’ll stay,” she said, watching the panic flow over me.
“Really? Because this is a bit overwhelming, and it would really help,” I said.
“Of course.” She smiled. “I want this project to move as quickly as possible as well. It’s a really vital part of your success, and if you’re successful, I have no doubt my team and I will be too.”
“You are definitely right,” I said. “I’m sorry you have to break your plans to stay and help me. What did you have planned? Hopefully, nothing with your son.”
“No, nothing with Mikey,” she said. “I was actually supposed to go to this support group at the hospital. It’s for people with a family member on life support. My mother’s doctor thought it would help me get through some of the stress of having her there on life support and not knowing what to do about it. They meet a lot, though. I can go next time.”
My heart sunk into my chest, and my mouth slightly opened. I didn’t know what to say to her. I’d had no idea she was going through something like that. She had mentioned her mother once or twice, but I assumed she just lived with them and that was what she meant by taking care of her. I had no idea she was ill and on life support. Instantly, everything that had seemed important before suddenly held no meaning to me. Not the deadlines, not the clients, not even the job, just the look of sadness in Amanda’s eyes. I wished she would have told me her mother was in that condition, and I could have made sure she got to that meeting. The last thing she needed to do was miss a support meeting for something that serious.
I leaned back in my chair and rubbed my face, not even caring if she noticed my shock. This woman was amazing. Not only did she take care of her son on her own, but she had to take care of her dying mother as well, responsible for so much more than I had ever imagined one person could handle. That was it. I wasn’t having it. Amanda needed to be at that meeting.
Chapter 33
Amanda
I wasn’t planning on telling Elon about my mother, especially since we had decided to keep everything between us business. But as I sat there laughing, talking about life, I felt that same familiar comfort that I had weeks before. I was a private person but what was one more person when I was planning on going to a support group with dozens of people talking about their experiences? I could see the sadness and shock on his face when I told him, and I was curious about what he was thinking.
“I didn’t know your mother was ill,” he said. “I thought you meant she lived with you.”
“She used to. After my father passed, she moved in with me and Mikey,” I explained. “But she had an accident, hit her head, which at the time didn’t seem that bad, but she had a brain hemorrhage, and it all went down from there. She’s been on life support for quite a while now. I am her only surviving relative, so I take care of all of the bills. That’s where the bonus you gave me went, to catching up on the bills and then to get my son some presents for his birthday.”
“I wish you would have told me,” he said.
“I don’t really tell many people,” I replied. “They don’t know what to say, and it just usually gets awkward.”
“I can understand that,” he replied looking down at his watch. “Well, is there enough time? Can we still make it there before it ends?”
“We?”
“It’s a support group.” He smiled. “I can go with you and be … supportive.”
“Aw. That’s really sweet, Elon, but you don’t have to do that,” I said.
I had to admit, him offering to go was one of the nicest things he had ever done. It made me feel special, like he really cared about me and the situation I was in. I still needed to keep my head on my shoulders, though. It didn’t change the fact that we were supposed to have a business relationship and nothing more. It was hard to turn him down, though I knew he would be incredibly comforting in a situation like that, especially since it was my first time.
“How many of these meetings have you gone to before? What are they like?” he asked.
“Your guess is as good as mine.” I smiled. “This was going to be my first one. The doctor gave me the information yesterday, and I decided this morning that I would go after work.”
“Well, shit,” he said, standing up and grabbing his suit jacket. “Come on. You’re not missing this meeting, and you’re definitely not going to go by yourself.”
“Are you sure?” I said, letting him help me up out of the chair.
“I haven’t been surer about anything before,” he said.
“What about all of the work?”
“It’ll still be there tomorrow or even later tonight,” he said. “One thing that’s always been important to me is realizing when things in life became more important than any client on the books or stock on the stock exchange. This is one of those times. So, come on, the car is waiting out front.”
“Okay,” I said with a smile. “Let’s go.”
We headed down to the car, and he opened the door for me, helping me inside. I gave the driver the location, and we headed out. I sat there in the chair watching the lights of Chicago pass by me, the old lit lanterns flickering on the edge of the bridge, and people out and about touring the streets. It had been the first time in a while I took notice to everything around me, everything that wasn’t just my son and my mother. Part of me missed living, but the other part of me remembered that I loved my family more than anything. When we pulled up in front of the hospital, Elon got out and came around my side, opening the door and walking with me inside. The front desk clerk pointed us downstairs to the administration halls, and we went down, finding the door pulled shut.
“They already started,” I said, slightly disapp
ointed.
“That’s all right,” he said, opening the door quietly and whispering. “We’ll sneak in the back.”
“Welcome,” a friendly voice shouted from the front. “Have a seat wherever you’d like. We’re just getting started.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, sitting down in the back row next to Elon.
There were about a dozen and a half people there, some of them alone, the others clinging to a loved one. I thought they would all be old, but there were a lot of young people there, some even younger than myself. There were sniffles and tissue holding, and the room felt very emotional. I, on the other hand, couldn’t feel very much at all. A large bearded man stood at the front of the rows of chairs smiling out at everyone in his old ZZ Top T-shirt, worn jeans, and Chuck Taylor’s.
“Thank you, everyone, for coming here tonight,” he said. “My name is Jerry, and I’m the leader of this support group. I know for some of you, this is old hat, but for others, it’s brand new. Like every other meeting I’ve started, I want to tell you how sorry I am that you have to go through something like this, but as you can see in this room, none of you are alone. We are all struggling through this process together. Mary is going to come up and speak, so everyone welcome Mary.”
Everyone clapped as an older woman was helped up on the stage. She looked weathered and tired, and she clung to a locket hanging around her neck. Jerry walked over and hugged her, pulling the microphone down to her level. She shifted on her feet and looked up at the crowd.
“Hello, everyone,” she said in a raspy tone. “My name is Mary, and this is the tenth meeting that I’m attending. It will also be the last. I signed the papers today to have my husband taken off of life support, and at four this evening, he passed away. He had been on support for three years. I will be transitioning over to another support group, but I wanted to come here and tell you that because of your support, I could let him go.”
I shifted in my seat, not wanting to hear the sad stories, but knowing it was all part of the process. Several people got up and spoke, some with positive upbeat attitudes, some feeling the inability to let go like me, and some really unsure of what to say. I didn’t speak, though. I wasn’t ready for something like that. I felt separated, standoffish even, at the thought of grouping myself in, but I knew in my heart, these people were going through the same thing I was. A woman about my age got up next, and she started to talk about her mother on life support. I swallowed hard, seeing so much of myself in her eyes.
Elon reached over and grabbed my hand, pulling it over into his lap. I looked up at him, and he smiled at me kindly, turning back to the speaker. I studied his face, the way his jawline was strong and chiseled, the way he had sadness in his eyes like his heart had gone out to every person in that room. I felt something for him at that moment that I had never felt before, not for him or for anyone else in my life. For the first time since I had met him, I saw genuine emotion from him, something that I wondered if I would ever have the chance to witness. We sat there, his hand squeezing mine tightly as we listened to everyone speak. When the last person was done, Jerry took the stage.
“Those were some really touching stories,” he said with a somber tone. “And I want to thank each of you for sharing with the group. Sometimes, all it takes is for someone else to hear that they aren’t alone in their feelings to begin to open up and come to a peaceful place with all of this. It’s a hard thing to let go of the person you love, and it’s even harder to decide when that time is right. We’re always here to talk. My number is on all of the fliers, and we will meet back here this time next week. Please have some refreshments and feel free to greet each other. That’s what this group is all about.”
I took Elon’s hand, and we headed out of the room. I didn’t feel like talking to complete strangers, but I had to admit, it did get me thinking. I was sad, but at the same time, I didn’t feel quite as alone, and I didn’t know if it was the support group or if it was Elon. We got in the car, and I gave the driver my address home.
“Do you want to talk about your mother?” he asked.
“I appreciate it,” I said. “But right now, I just want to mull over what I heard there. Maybe one day, we will sit down and talk about it.”
“I understand,” he smiled, patting my hand.
He didn’t push or pry. He just let me make the decision, which was nice. It made me comfortable with the thought of opening up to him in the future. Right then, though, I sat in the car and stared out as we made our way toward my apartment building. It was crazy how quickly things had changed between him and me. One moment, we weren’t speaking at all, and then three days later, I felt like nothing had changed from the time we had dinner together. He had done something that night that I never thought he would do. Whether I wanted it to or not, it changed my feelings for him, and it made it very difficult to look at him as only a business associate. When we pulled up in front of my complex, we turned toward each other, a pleasant smile showing on his face.
“Thank you for what you did tonight,” I said.
“Of course,” he replied. “This was important. And I want you to know I’m here for you if you ever want to talk about it. It doesn’t matter what time of day or night, if you need to talk, you call me or come get me.”
“I appreciate that,” I said. “I have to get inside. Mikey is probably already asleep, and Dalton is probably passed out on the couch.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he smiled, warming my heart.
I got out of the car and went upstairs, finding Mikey tightly tucked in bed and Dalton asleep in the guest bedroom like he did sometimes. I closed both of their doors and walked out into the living room, sitting on the couch and taking in the quiet. I knew Elon didn’t have a clue how much him going with me to that meeting meant, but him being there meant more to me than I could ever express to him. I had been scared to go, scared I would feel even more alone, sitting in the back by myself, listening to the stories without any support, but that wasn’t the case. Just having him next to me made me feel like I was wrapped in his caring arms, and that was something I had never felt before. Elon wasn’t the man I had been starting to think he was, and that one act had opened my heart to him in ways I wasn’t even sure I understood.
Chapter 34
Elon
I woke up after a long night in the office, my head still reeling from the meeting I had gone to with Amanda. Afterward, I had gone back to work, wanting to get a little more work done before calling it a night, but I couldn’t get my mind off her and what she was going through. I didn’t think I had ever felt that close to someone before, and though I couldn’t tell how she felt, I knew that things between us had changed. The idea that she had to decide the kind of decision she was faced with broke my heart, and it was a numbing feeling almost. I walked to the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee, thinking about the people from the meeting, their faces sad and struggling. My phone rang, drawing me out of my thoughts, and I picked it up, seeing my brother Tyler’s name on the screen.
“Hey there, brother,” I said, trying to force happiness into my voice.
“Hey,” he said. “I was thinking about you this morning, and I figured I would give you a call and see how everything went with the board and the Cartier account.”
“It went really well,” I said, walking into the living room and sitting down. “Cartier was ecstatic with the results, and I got my seat back at the head of the table as long as I continue working hands-on, which I am not minding so much these days. It’s a nice change of pace.”
“I knew you could do it,” he said.
“Yeah.” I chuckled. “We even picked up a huge client from the deal so that’s what we’re working on now.”
“Nice,” he said.
He went on about his life, where he was, and how everything was going on his end. My mind was not all the way with him, though. I couldn’t help thinking about Amanda’s mother and wondering how that would affect us if we had to do the
same thing.
“Can I ask you a question?” I said. “A hypothetical one of course. I have a friend going through this, and I’m trying to understand how they might be feeling.”
“Okay,” he said carefully.
“What would we have done if our mother was on life support?” I asked. “I mean, how would we make the decision when enough was enough?”
“Wow,” he said. “That’s pretty heavy for first thing in the morning.”
“I know,” I sighed. “I went to a support meeting with someone I know, and she’s dealing with that. It really shook me up, I’m not going to lie. There were so many people there who were so upset, so hurt, and so confused. From an outside perspective, the answer seems a bit easier, but when you think about it in the context of someone you love, it gets a bit more difficult.”
“That is difficult,” he said. “I mean I honestly don’t know how we would come to that choice. It would probably be all of us sitting down, talking, looking at the facts, her health, whether she would end up coming out of it ever, and then go from there. It would obviously be almost impossible to make that decision without involving emotion. Honestly, I don’t really have an answer to that.”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “I don’t have an answer either. Anyway, I just figured you might have some insight, but it’s not something everyone would know how to deal with. I definitely don’t.”
“Sorry, man,” he said. “Listen, I got to get to the studio. Give me a call later if you need to talk, okay?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I should be fine. Thanks for calling and checking in on me.”
I got off of the phone and headed into the shower, realizing I was going to be late if I didn’t get a move on it. I headed to the office, knowing we had a full day with the technical graphic artists coming in and with the presentation for the next day. I put my stuff down in the office and walked down in the pit where Amanda was. I didn’t know why, but I felt like I should be paying a bit more attention to her and her feelings.
