by Rinelle Grey
“Well, it’s not like I have another option anyway. If I refuse to go, Mugos will kill me.”
Uma hesitated, then said quietly, “Not if you run. Just say the word, and we’ll come with you.”
Jasyn stared at him. “You couldn’t do that. We’d all die.”
Uma shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. You’ve said yourself that if we put more time and effort into magic, then we could find a way to grow food, even here in the snow. If there were enough of us, and I’m pretty sure there would be, we’d find a way.”
It was a huge offer from his friend. Jasyn’s heart warmed at the thought that they cared enough about him and his beliefs to even consider it.
But he couldn’t let them. “No, that’s not fair on you or Yass. But thank you for offering.” He squared his shoulders. “You’re right. I have to go. Even if just to see what’s on the other side of the ridge for myself.”
“Are you going to stand around in the cold chatting all night?”
Jasyn turned to look at Kriss, her hands on her hips, glaring at him.
“Just a minute.” Now that his decision was made, some of the fear had left him.
Uma clapped him on the shoulder. “Take care, friend.”
It hit him. This could be the last time Jasyn saw his friend. He was heading off to battle.
Adrenalin surged through him, strengthening him enough that he could push away the fear that rose at the thought. He didn’t know how he was going to do this, but he had to try. “Take care of Yass. And if I die, whatever you do, don’t let her name the baby after me.”
Uma gave a short laugh. “Good luck. You know she doesn’t listen to a word I say. So your best bet is to stay alive.”
“I’ll do my best,” Jasyn promised.
He didn’t know how to say goodbye. His throat choked up at the thought, so he clapped Uma on the shoulder, and turned away before his friend could see the tears in his eyes. He forced his feet to walk towards Kriss.
Before he caught up to her, she turned and strode towards the armoury. By the time he pushed his way through the flap, the cold had frozen the tears on his cheeks. He swiped them away, and stared at Kriss, who stared back, her arms folded.
“What was that all about? You’re not planning on running, are you?”
How much had she overheard? Not that it mattered.
“No, even though the thought is tempting.”
“What, more scared of me coming after you than you are of the puny humans? You should be.”
For some reason, Jasyn felt like smiling. At least some things were still predictable. “Well, you’re pretty scary.”
She scowled at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Never mind. Aren’t we supposed to be finding me some armour?”
Her scowl deepened, then she shrugged and turned to the armour stand. “I doubt we have anything that will fit your scrawny frame.” Despite her comment, she pulled out a large leather chest plate and tossed it at him. “Here, try that.”
The full weight of the chest plate hit Jasyn in the stomach and he barely managed to stay on his feet. He fiddled with the heavy leather, trying to figure out which way was up.
Kriss watched him impassively for a few moments, before sighing heavily. “Here.” She took the armour and twisted it. Suddenly, it looked like a chest plate again. She lifted it over Jasyn’s head and settled it into place.
It was like trying to stand with a log on his shoulders. The heavy weight pushed all the air out of his lungs, and his knees threatened to collapse. How did warriors manage to run and fight in this stuff?
Oh, that’s right. They had muscles. Something he lacked.
“I can’t do it,” he said helplessly. “I can’t even walk in this.”
Kriss stared at him, her arms crossed. “Well, this was a stupid idea, wasn’t it?”
“It wasn’t my idea!”
“It was your idea to stand up in the middle of the tent and announce that we should try talking to the humans. What kind of nonsense was that? What did you think would happen?”
“I…”
“You didn’t think, did you? That’s why you’re not a warrior. A warrior would think through the consequences before acting. And you’d better start doing that, or you’re not going to get out of this alive.” She paused. “Of course, the sooner you die, the less time I have to spend hauling your butt around.”
“Well, don’t worry, I’ll probably die pretty quickly.”
He’d meant his comment to come out as a joke, but somehow, it sounded mournful. He should have kept his mouth shut.
Kriss turned away. He couldn’t blame her for giving up on him. He was a lost cause.
“Here, try this.” She held out a smaller breast plate.
Jasyn lifted off the huge one and swapped it with the one she held. At least this one he managed to put on without any help, even if there were gaps at the sides. He flexed his arms. He could move more easily, too. “This is better. Why didn’t you give me this one before?”
“It’s the one we give to kids when they’re training,” she said dryly. “It’s not designed to stop anything more than a wooden sword.”
“Do the humans have wooden swords?” Silly question, of course not. How could they kill trolls with wooden swords? “I guess you want to see me get killed even quicker,” he joked.
“You won’t die if you stay out of their way. Don’t try to be a hero. Let us do the killing. You just grab any food you see and stay low.”
He couldn’t follow her. One minute, she seemed like the considerate and fair troll he’d met in the forest, and the next she was the cutthroat warrior again. Did he dare to hope she’d thought about him since then, too? Jasyn stared at her. “It’s almost like you don’t want to see me die?”
“I don’t want to see any of my warriors die trying to save you.”
Jasyn swallowed. “No, of course not. I’ll stay out of the way.”
“And do exactly what I, or any other warriors, tell you.”
Jasyn nodded solemnly. What was he getting into?
“Here.” Kriss held out a sword.
Jasyn stared at it. “I… I can't.”
“Trust me, it comes naturally when a human is running at you, screaming bloody murder. I know you have no training, but they're puny and small and not that hard to kill. Even you should be able to take a single human out.”
That didn't make him feel any better. He shook his head. “I can't kill someone.”
Kriss raised an eyebrow. “Not even if they're trying to kill you?”
Images flashed through his mind. Humans running at him, swords swinging wildly, followed by dying screams and blood. Jasyn’s stomach clenched. He shook his head again. “I can't.”
Kriss stared at him in disbelief for a moment, then shrugged and put the sword back. “It's your funeral.”
2
Talking or Fighting
Kriss’s breathing slowed as she rounded the corner. She knew she would only have a split second to assess the human warriors guarding the pass. Her eyes swept across them. Two adults and a youth, as usual. Relief hit her. Even though they had picked the perfect vantage point, she had to run directly at them with no cover, the feeble humans were no match for her warriors.
With a blood curdling battle cry, she charged at them, and in that time the littlest one had taken off at a run. Pulling out a throwing knife as she ran, Kriss threw it at his head, but it bounced off the rocks as he ducked around a corner and out of sight.
Oh well. Even with a warning, the humans were no match for the dozen warriors she had brought with her. Two of them speedily dispatched the humans who had remained behind. Kriss stepped over the bodies, not sparing them a glance.
Not so Jasyn, who turned an even darker shade of green and tried desperately not to step in the blood pooling on the stone.
The gentle troll wasn't cut out for this. Damn Mugos for insisting she bring him. She should let him die, the sooner the better. Tha
t would be the most sensible thing to do. Protecting him would cost her.
But she couldn't bring herself to give up on him.
Jasyn was different. He was clearly a weakling and a coward. She’d known that for years. The fact that he'd refused to even carry a sword to protect himself confirmed it. And yet, something had made him stand up to Mugos and spout those crazy ideas.
What was it? She somehow couldn't believe it was simple stupidity.
There was no time to think about that. The pass ended up ahead and Kriss and her warriors ran out onto fresh, green grass. Ahead of them, at least twenty small, shadowy humans raced out of the village. Somewhere behind them, a child cried.
Kriss shut the sound out. If she stopped to think about it, she couldn't do what had to be done. She wouldn't feel pity for these humans, who lived in nice wooden houses and had plenty of food to fill their bellies. She needed to think of the troll children back home who were going to bed hungry, but with promises of a feast in the morning.
A feast that was her responsibility to produce.
She gave a roar, the sound helping speed the adrenalin through her veins, and launched herself at the human running towards her. He barely came up to her chest. Her sword cut through him like a knife through a chicken leg. Three humans replaced him in moments, but Kriss wasn't afraid. They were pitiful warriors.
She swung at the nearest human, but he sidestepped her sword, ducking under her arm to slash at her back. She didn't even feel it through her armour, leaving her free to behead the one in front of her. The female human next to him began to back away, her eyes wide. That was better.
The one thing the humans had on their side though, was numbers. It didn’t seem to matter how many of them she killed, more kept coming.
Beside her, a troll dropped to the ground with five humans overpowering him. The humans cheered and the sound infuriated Kriss. She fell on them with a shout, keeping careful control of her anger to make sure each strike did the maximum amount of damage.
Once they lay in a pile at her feet, she looked around. Two trolls had made it to the grassy area in the middle of the village, where food sat uneaten on tables, and benches had been knocked over in haste. Some sort of celebration had obviously been interrupted. Good, that meant there was plenty of supplies in easy reach. Three more trolls still fought on the outskirts of the village. She judged carefully, deciding who needed her help most, then joined in the fray again.
It was only after she had killed several more humans and paused to look around, breathing heavily, that she realised Jasyn was nowhere to be seen. She glanced quickly at the two troll bodies lying in the grass, but they both wore full armour. Not Jasyn.
Concern flooded her. Was there no end to his stupidity? Why had he refused to take a weapon? Anyone with a sword was a danger to him. She should have pushed him more. She should have insisted.
Her eyes searched the buildings. Where had he gone? Was he still alive? She saw a shadow move near a house some distance away. Jasyn! He bent over something lying on the ground, not even noticing the human woman who stalked towards him, sword held out.
Kriss was too far away to get to him in time.
She glanced around frantically. Relief flooded through her when she saw Telos, one of her best warriors, only a few steps away. She gave a whistle and pointed and he rushed to take on the feeble human.
*****
Everywhere Jasyn looked there was more blood, more people and trolls yelling and rushing at each other, swords drawn. He stepped out from behind the warriors and when a human rushed at him, he held out his empty hands and said, “Please. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He wasn’t sure if she even heard the words. She just yelled and swung her sword at him.
Instinct kicked in and Jasyn jumped back, the blade only just missing his belly. His heart pounded in his chest and now he regretted not giving in to Kriss’s demands that he bring a sword. He could have used it to block, if nothing else.
He had been right. There was no chance to talk to the humans. No one would hear him over the din.
He’d never seen a human up close before, and any thoughts that they were gentle and kind swiftly fled. Every single human he saw held a sword, and every one had rage written across their faces. They came at any troll they saw, as intent on killing as the trolls were. And they didn’t seem to care that he didn’t have a sword and wasn’t fighting. They just saw a troll and wanted to kill him.
They may look weaker, but underneath it all, they were no different from the trolls.
He didn’t have time to ponder that right now though, because the human was still coming at him.
Before he could react, a troll stepped between them and thrust his sword straight through the human, pulled it out, and kept moving. Jasyn stared at the human, her eyes blank and blood trickling out of her mouth.
What was the point? If life was all violence and fighting, was it really worth living?
Stumbling away from the fighting, Jasyn didn’t even look where he was going. He didn't care anymore. He needed to get away from it all.
But there was no getting away from it. Even once he escaped the immediate battle and thought he was safe, he tripped over a body and fell face down on the bloodstained grass. Jasyn scrambled up against a wall and stared out hopelessly.
No wonder warriors were so hard. He could see why Kriss bragged about how many humans she was going to kill. No one who hadn’t hardened themselves could do this and not be broken. No one could remain the same when faced with this horror. He felt a moment’s sadness for the Kriss he had barely known, before she started going on raids with the others. Was there anything left of that troll?
He stared at the body in front of him, the brown cloak hiding its shape almost completely. How ironic, that the only human who hadn’t tried to kill him was a dead one.
Was it a woman or a man? Old or young? Curiosity ate at Jasyn and he climbed to his feet and bent over the body, rolling it over. Cold, lifeless eyes stared back up at him, surrounded by a grey beard and hair. An old, unarmed man.
The only thing the stiff, dead hands clutched was a book. The mismatch cut through the indifference Jasyn felt. Not all of the humans were aggressive. The ones who fought were the warriors, like the trolls who came here. But there had to be people like him among the humans—people who believed in peace, not war.
There had to be.
He bent over to pick up the book, curious to know what it was that the old man was protecting. Was it a story, a history book, or perhaps a book of recipes?
Before he could find out, a war cry startled him and he looked up quickly. A human woman ran towards him, her sword raised.
Fear froze Jasyn to the spot. And as the woman ran towards him, he realised that he desperately wanted to live. There were things he wanted to know, and maybe to do. He held out the book, as though it could somehow protect him, but it only seemed to make the human angrier. Her lips pulled back from her teeth in a snarl.
A warrior roar startled both of them. The human swung around just as one of Kriss’s warriors descended on her. Jasyn watched, his knees weak. There was no way the human woman could defend herself in time. The troll was too big and he was coming too fast.
Even though he wanted to live, he didn’t want it to be at her expense. She was only defending her people.
The troll grimaced and he twisted in the air, dropping his sword and scrambling to reach behind him. He fell to the ground, three arrows sprouting from his back.
Jasyn stared at him, stunned. Was he dead?
Even if he wasn't, he soon would be. The human jumped onto him, plunging her sword into his back.
Jasyn felt sick. The troll had given up his life in vain, since the human would kill Jasyn next.
“Get a move on!”
Kriss grabbed his wrist and pulled him away, into the shadow of the house. “We’re retreating. Head for the ridge.”
Jasyn stared around, trying to make out the shadow of the ri
dge over the houses, but it was impossible in the darkness. Kriss gave him a shove and he blindly floundered in that direction, breaking into a run. Once he was away from the houses and lights, he could see the black outline of the ridge.
He kept his eyes on it, not looking down to see what he stumbled over.
3
Knowledge
Anger sustained Kriss all the way back through the pass and down the mountain to the troll camp. Her temper simmered while she saw to the wounds of the returning trolls and informed the families of those who had died, especially Telos’s sister, who took the news with fortitude. It flared when she counted the spoils of the raid and found them lacking.
But when she realised that Jasyn had slipped away somewhere while she was busy, it overflowed.
“Where has that puny troll gone?” she bellowed.
All she received were blank looks.
“Jasyn,” she elaborated.
Their expressions didn't clear.
“The troll who thought we should talk to the humans!”
Now they understood. “He wasn't wounded, so I sent him home,” Losi said.
Kriss ground her teeth, but she couldn't fault the medic’s logic. “Thank you,” she forced out.
Turning on her heel, she strode through the swirling snow to Jasyn's tent.
Even if he’d just stayed out of the way like she’d ordered, or better yet, collected some actual food, she wouldn’t have had to end the raid early to protect him. She should have just let him die, as she had said she would, instead of sending Telos to save him.
How could he be such a coward? Didn't he know there would be repercussions of tonight's failed raid? Did he not realise that trolls would go hungry, or that another raid would have to be planned, even though they lacked the numbers to ensure its success?
Did it even occur to him that Mugos would expect someone to pay the price?
Kriss had two choices. Either she serve Jasyn up for an easy target or take the blame herself. And why should she take the blame? Jasyn had acted stupidly even before arriving at the human village, refusing a sword to defend himself.
