by Abi Josselyn
“Good idea although I could spend hours sitting in here talking to you. Can I walk you back to your building?” Ben chuckled. “I sound like a teenager asking if I can walk you home from school.”
“I think it’s sweet. I’ll meet you out front after I shower and change. The chlorine is bad for my hair and I have to rinse it off or it’ll break off.”
“Don’t want that to happen; your hair is your crowning glory. Can’t get that color out of a bottle and with your green eyes – well, I won’t go there. I was trying to give you a compliment.”
Beth laughed. “I got it. See you in about 10.
Beth walked into the shower stall and breathed deeply. Ben’s hands on her body were all she could think of and she imagined him in the shower beside her. He would kiss her neck leading down to her breasts and beyond. Beth pictured him kissing his way back up to her mouth and pinning her against the tile wall. She began to stroke herself as the thoughts of Ben intensified to the point of no return. Beth was alone in the shower with fantasies of Ben so real that she forgot he wasn’t pressed hard against her. She returned to reality when the water went cold and she heard Ben pounding on the bathroom door.
“Are you O.K. in there Beth. It’s been 20 minutes and they’re getting ready to lock the facility for the night.” Ben said from behind the door.
“Be right there. I received a cellphone call and lost track of time.” Beth regained her composure and pulled on her yoga pants and a green t-shirt. She walked out to find Ben waiting.
“It’s no myth that women take forever to get ready. Can I use your phone because I have to confirm an appointment for tomorrow? I must have left mine in my car.”
“I left my phone in my room this morning,” Beth said without thinking.
“I thought you said that you got a call.” Ben looked confused.
“Oh, I do have it but the battery died.” Beth blushed as she lied. With her fair skin, it was easy to tell when she wasn’t telling the truth because she turned red.
Ben shook his head and grinned as he walked her home.
Chapter Nine
Beth was up early for her appointment with Dr. Walsh, who was the sports psychologist that she was required to see. Amy Walsh was a middle aged woman who had won a gold medal in volley ball for the United states in the 1980’s. Beth had seen her five times and with only days away from her departure to Oslo, Beth felt she needed a final check-in. Seeing Dr. Walsh had been one of the best things about Apex and Beth looked forward to seeing her almost as much as she did Ben. Beth marched up the stone steps to Dr. Walsh’s office that had one of the best views in the complex. It was a corner office with a panoramic view of the snowcapped mountains and lush valleys of Utah. It didn’t take long to figure out that Amy Walsh was one of the founding members of Apex that believed no athlete could perform without a healthy mind to go along with a superb body. It was that philosophy that made Apex one of the best sports training facilities in the world. Beth walked through Dr. Walsh’s open door and sat on one of the cushy chairs. To Beth’s surprise, there was no couch in the office as there always was in TV and movies.
“Hello Beth.” Dr. Walsh came into the office and caught Beth in a daydream. “I realize that you’re getting ready for the trials and I was expecting you to cancel.”
“No way. I wish I could take you with me,” Beth said.
“No.” Dr. Walsh laughed. “You’re ready to be kicked out of the nest. I’m proud of you Beth because when you came in here for the first time you were scattered. Worried about Seth’s management style, your hyper roommate and missing Johnathan and Elijah.”
“I’m good with all of that and they’re not obstacles in the way towards success any longer. The Ben issue is still causing me to scratch my head. We’ve become friends and the flirting exists but he has Lizzie and that’s still an issue. There are times when we come close to stepping out of the friend zone, but we know the timing is horrible.”
“We talked about Ben and Lizzie. You can’t think of her as an obstacle that you can conquer. Their relationship exists and there are no ways around it. I still think that you should meet Lizzie so you’ll know she’s real and then you can be happy for Ben and stop being an obstacle in the way of his happiness. Put yourself in her shoes Beth or think of how you felt when Trevor cheated on you. Ben’s not someone to step out of a committed relationship and that’s a part of why you admire him.”
“If I had not been a bitch in college and taken the time to know Ben, then I wouldn’t be in this mess. He was available and had a crush on me. I’d be so happy now if I was with Ben.”
“You can’t live your life second guessing your past actions. That ship has sailed Beth and there’s not a thing you can do about it. I think you should meet Ben’s mystery woman because she has to be amazing to make your friend smile the way you described.”
“I agree Dr. Walsh because I’m doing the team a disservice by pining over an unavailable man. I’m meeting Ben after this which presents a good time to talk to him. We both have the afternoon off and we’re going for a hike. I can’t believe I’ve been surrounded by all of this beauty and I’ve never had the chance to enjoy it.”
“I’ll be rooting for you Beth and I hope to see you after the trials because that will mean you’ve made the Olympic team.”
“Not making the team is not an option so I will see you again and I’ll tell you what happened with Ben. I always feel 10lbs. lighter when I leave here; thank you Amy.
Beth crossed the Apex campus to pick up her things for the hike. She picked up some healthy snacks for lunch and cheated a little by bring chocolate chip cookies. She walked into the room and found Heather passed out on the couch. She was fully clothed and looked as if she was taking an impromptu nap but she wasn’t waking easily. Beth touched her bare feet to try and wake Heather up. She shook until her suitemate jumped off the couch.
“Shit Beth, you scared the heck out of me. This schedule has me running on empty and I thought I’d steal of few winks.” As Heather spoke she hurried to throw socks on her feet but it was too late. Beth saw marks between Heather’s toes and they looked like injection sites.
“I was here to pick up some things before meeting Ben and I shouldn’t have disturbed you. Maybe those herbs and natural supplements that you’re always taking will give you energy.” Beth was hesitant to ask about the marks but she was curious. “You are still taking that stuff right?”
“Yes,” Heather snapped. “I’m still taking them and they’re not performance enhancing drugs (PED).”
“I know that Heather because if you were taking PED’s you could put the entire team in jeopardy and you would never do that.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” Heather said in a raised voice. “Especially since I was chosen to anchor the relay team – a position you coveted. The other three girls are like sisters to me and I’d never ruin their chances for a medal. I don’t need any help bringing home gold and all of the coaches know it. I’ve even been approached for endorsements after the games because they’re all convinced that I’ll be a star. Gracing cereal boxes and being in cosmetics ads will line my pockets for the future. Too bad you were injured because if you hadn’t been, you could join me in the spotlight. I heard Seth talking about your slim chances of even making the team.”
“I feel as though you’re trying to start something here Heather. I’m not jealous of you because this is a team and I want us to bring home as many medals as possible. Something is going on with you Heather because you’re paranoid and in full attack mode. I think you do need a rest. I’ll be gone for the rest of the afternoon so why don’t you put your phone in a drawer on silent and relax.”
“Whatever, have fun with lover boy. You follow him around like a schoolgirl with a crush and the sad thing is that he has a girlfriend.”
Beth chose not to respond to Heather’s last comment because she didn’t want to be late. Heather was off her rocker and she didn’t have enough head space to deal with her
.
Chapter Ten
Beth saw Ben in the distance when she approached the field where they were supposed to meet. He was wearing khaki cargo shorts and a faded blue t-shirt. His hair was long enough to blow in the breeze which was ethereal against the backdrop of the periwinkle sky.
“You look relaxed sitting here in the sunshine,” Beth greeted him with a pat on the back.
“I’m looking forward to today because so much of our time is spent at work. This will be the first time we are stepping off the Apex campus together. I smell cookies which I hope are packed away in your bag waiting to be devoured. It’s a little like a first date.”
“A little like that Ben but it’s not. We’ve managed to create a friendship and that’s the way it’ll stay. We’ve stayed away from talking about Lizzie in depth but she’s right for you because when you mention her you light up.”
They walked to Ben’s car and drove to the trail head where they got out of the car to begin their three-mile hike. Beth mentioned Lizzie and Ben turned quiet and refused to even comment about what Beth said. It was different from other times they had been together and Beth knew he had something important to tell her.
“Finally, we have complete privacy,” Ben said.
“That sounds creepy. What do you plan to do with this privacy?”
Ben chuckled. “Don’t worry Beth, I have no plans to rape or murder you.”
“That’s a relief.” Beth laughed.
“Beth, I haven’t been completely honest with you. It was more a lie of omission rather than a lie. We started to become friends and I think we would have taken things further if not for Lizzie.”
“Stop right there Ben.” Beth said and threw up her hand. “I will not come between you and Lizzie.”
“Lizzie’s five years old Beth.”
Beth nearly fell off the log she was sitting on. “You have a daughter. I can’t wait to hear if there’s a wife in the scenario.”
“Lizzie Knight is my niece who has no father that I know of and her mother is in prison for 15-20 years. I didn’t lie about her being the love of my life and being away from her is painful. I’m her legal guardian and she’ll probably never see my sister Jean again.”
“What the hell are you doing here in Utah, Ben?”
“I came to work for Seth until he got the new athletes settled in but then you came along and I couldn’t leave. I don’t tell anyone about Lizzie because that would lead to stories about Jean, which I try to avoid.”
“Ben, I wish you had told me. What’s up with your sister?”
“She’s a meth addict and an alcoholic. She’s in for armed robbery and kidnapping because she carjacked a woman. Jean didn’t kill he but she roughed her up badly. I haven’t done an illegal drug in my life and I don’t want to be associated with that scene. It’s why I don’t tell anyone the truth.”
“Ben, you’re a kind man and Lizzie’s a lucky girl. This unfortunately doesn’t open the door for us but it seals it shut. I said I wouldn’t come between you and Lizzie and that’s exactly what I’m doing. This is a really messed up situation and I can’t have this in my life right now.” Beth teared up. “We have to end this before it gets any messier than it already is.”
“I shouldn’t have told you, Next year all of this will be over and the Olympics will be behind us. I can pick up parenting Lizzie after I stay with you through the Olympics,”
“No. A year in a little girl’s life is too much. She’s been through enough and you have to go be with her,” Beth insisted.
Emotions between Ben and Beth were running high and they started to hold each other. They were grieving for the loss of something that could have been beautiful under different circumstances. Each was sad and confused and they were swept away as Ben started to unbutton Beth’s blouse. She didn’t resist but guided his hand to her breast. He unhooked her pink lace bra and dropped it to the ground. Ben had touched Beth’s body before but this was different as he was gentle but deliberate as he traced the nipple of her supple breast. His blue eyes focused on her green eyes and she nodded her head because there was no stopping what they started. Beth battled her desires and eventually moved back from Ben.
“We can’t start down this road Ben and you know it. Over the past month or so, I have come to know you have a big heart and now I know the truth that it’s even bigger than imagined.” Beth pulled on her bra and shirt. “Lizzie lost her mother and you have to go back to Colorado and be with her. I have to continue on to Oslo and take the next step in my comeback.”
Ben pulled Beth in for an embrace and they rocked back and forth on the log. “You’re telling me to go, which only intensifies my feelings. Your strength of character blows me away Beth and I wish there was another option.”
“There’s not right now Ben but I’ll be back in Utah after I make the Olympic team and then I can visit in Colorado. Who knows what will happen after the games for us. I want to meet Lizzie now more than ever so I can see what the girl is like who stole your heart. Stopping what almost happened between us today was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done because your hands on my body feel amazing. I felt your touch professionally but this was on another level that I can’t begin to describe.”
“Seth will assign you a new therapist and I hope it’s a woman. I can’t take the thought of another man having his hands on your body,” Ben said as he caressed her velvet skin.
Beth smiled. “I think a woman would be a wise choice because I’ve fallen for my therapist before.” Beth tangled her hands in her red hair and blushed. “I think back and he was nothing compared to you Ben.”
“You little tramp – a man gives you a rubdown and you fall for him.” Ben joked and Beth kiddingly punched his arm.
They walked back to the car hand in hand. Beth remembered what Dr. Walsh said and she wasn’t going to be an obstacle for Lizzie’s happiness. A sacrifice on her part was worth it in the long run. She told Ben what was happening with Heather Morgan and he warned her to stay out of the drama. Ben suspected drugs were somehow involved because of Heather’s erratic behavior and predicted she would get caught eventually. Random testing intensified when the games got closer and test were more accurate each year. Ben and Beth talked and laughed on the way back to campus. They would be going their separate ways but each of them knew the dust would settle eventually and if the stars aligned, they would be together again. They were happy because the both felt as if the sensible choice had been made and they had both grown a great deal since CCU.
“I’ll see you tomorrow Beth because I still have to talk to Seth so I’ll be around.”
“How do you think he’ll take the news that you’re leaving?” Beth asked.
“For all his faults, Seth understands family. I’ve already done him a favor my staying this long. I’ll recommend that you have a single in Oslo.”
“Yeah, I think living with Heather will be a drawback.”
Ben walked Beth to her building and gave her a sweet kiss goodnight. When Beth had almost walked into the building Ben called out. “I’m falling in love with you Beth Barker. Think about it because I’m sure you feel the same way.”
Beth was about to speak but Ben put up his hand, smiled and walked away.
Chapter Eleven
Beth woke up as the sun rose over the mountains and surprised herself by feeling at peace with the way things were left with Ben. He was falling in love with her and he was right, she felt the same way. It was a bittersweet moment because while she hated to see him leave Apex, she knew that he was doing the right thing. Lizzie was vulnerable and he put her first. A man who had his priorities straight was a sexy man and her feelings for him were stronger than ever. The kissing and touching was a teaser and an opportunity to see if their passion was real. Beth learned that it was real and she couldn’t get the image of Ben in bed out of her mind. It would dangle like a carrot and make her run quickly towards it. Beth smiled when she realized she had found her motivation to run faster than ever
before and take home the gold. She could hear Heather in the kitchen and knew they would have to talk. Beth was so preoccupied with Ben that she had almost forgotten her run-in with her suitemate.
“Hey Heather; interested in walking to the track together since we should talk about yesterday,” Beth said as she fixed herself a cup of green tea.
“Absolutely but give me a minute to pack my bag. I owe you a huge apology and I’m glad we’re discussing it and not sweeping it under the rug.”
Heather disappeared into her bedroom and locked the door behind her as she always did. Instead of chalking it up to paranoia, Beth figured that perhaps Heather was not used to having a roommate. She came out refreshed and they walked to the track.
“I attacked you in every possible way yesterday, Beth and I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am. I was looking for a punching bag and there you were.”
“Why were you seeking a target Heather. If something’s wrong, you can talk to me instead of attacking me.”
