by Dara Nelson
He hesitated because he really didn’t want to leave my side, but then he sighed and said, “If I have to. Can you hurry please? I don’t want to miss you too much.” He leaned back in his seat as I just stared at him for a second. Wow, I thought, is he for real? I smiled as I grabbed my backpack and went inside.
In the bathroom I used the toilet, ran a brush through my hair, brushed my teeth, put on some deodorant and splashed some water on my face. That would have to do for now. I went up to the counter, aware that I could feel his eyes on me the entire time as he watched me through the window and I felt strangely comforted by that - odd because I usually hated being the center of attention. But with him it was different. With him I didn’t feel self-conscious. I only felt safe… and loved. I ordered a breakfast sandwich, coffee and juice and headed back to the car, where he got out of his side, and had my door open faster than I could blink. I smiled as I climbed in and said, “I suppose that could come in handy sometime.” He laughed and went back to his side.
We were back on the road in no time. “Do I get to know where we’re going?” I asked.
“Mexico first,” he said. “There’s an old priest there that I’ve heard might have some of the answers we’re looking for.”
I decided to ask some of the questions that had come to me during the night. “So, you’ve never bitten somebody and they changed?” I asked.
“No,” he said. “It doesn’t happen that way, there’s a lot more to it than that.”
“Have you ever tried to stop drinking before they’re dead, when you bit somebody?” I continued.
“No, and I’m not sure I could,” he said softly. “When we bite it’s only seconds before they are completely drained, it happens so fast that I’m not sure I could stop fast enough for anything to be left, even I’m not that fast.”
“So is that what would happen if you bit me?” I asked .
I was amazed at the pain and tenderness in his eyes when he looked over at me. “Probably,” he whispered. “But I can’t find out because I can’t bite you anyways. You see, the smell of blood does excite us, it arouses us, but it’s the scent of evil that releases our fangs, we can’t force them down.”
“Evil has a scent?” I asked, thoroughly confused now.
“Yes, it does. An awful, horrible smell that compels us to get rid of it, to smother it. But this reaction doesn’t happen with innocent blood or what we call good blood.”
“And, how often do you need to… feed?”
“It depends. If I’m overly active, usually every few days or so. If I’m not, I can go weeks without needing to feed,” he said.
“And when’s the last time you fed?” I said.
He smiled and squeezed my hand, “Why? Are you nervous?” He winked.
I smiled back and said, “Not one bit.”
“I’m fine,” he said, it was all he was comfortable telling me right now.
We drove all day, stopping occasionally for bathroom breaks and lunch. I pointed out areas that I knew (I grew up in Northern California), which, of course he already knew. By dinner we were in Southern California. I turned to him and asked,“Is there any way we could stop for the night? My legs are cramping up and I would really love a shower, and maybe a bed.”
“Of course,” he replied, and then I would swear he blushed.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Ummmm… I haven’t slept in the same room with woman since before I was turned.”
“You’re not serious, are you?” I gasped.
“Yes, I am,” he whispered. “I told you, once I was turned I never found anything that mattered to me… until you.”
“Wow” was all I could say. Then I turned to him and said,“Okay, well, first of all, do you actually sleep?”
“Yes,” he replied, “we do like to sleep, we usually don’t need to but we can and we like to. But I should probably warn you - when I sleep, I don’t breathe.”
“At all?” I asked.
“No, not at all. We don’t need to breathe either, but we do because we need our sense of smell, so once we sleep, the need to breathe and to smell, is usually gone.”
“Oh. Well, I’m glad you warned me, that might have freaked me out a little,” I said.
He laughed at that, “Yes, I suppose it might have.”
“Can -,” I was way too embarrassed to say ‘you’, “can vampires… um… be intimate with humans…?” I whispered.
“It is possible, yes,” he said
My heart was flying in my chest by this point… I couldn’t deny how much I wanted him…
“Can you?” I whispered.
“Well, truthfully, I haven’t tried… yet.” There it was again, was he really blushing?
“I’m not saying that I’ve been celibate for two hundred years. I just never found anyone that I wanted to have any sort of relationship with. I’ve just had intimate vampire acquaintances that I would see from time to time.” He suddenly started acting nervous and cleared his throat, “I didn’t mean to imply that we should be in the same room. Of course I’ll get adjoining rooms if you prefer.”
Are you kidding? I thought. “Um, no, that’s okay. I think I’d feel safer in the same room,” I replied. I looked down at my hands then, hoping he didn’t see me blush. What was up with me? I was never like this, but I couldn’t seem to help it.
“I would too,” he quietly said, “but it’s just that I’ve waited so long for this and I don’t want anything to feel wrong for you.”
“It will be fine,” I said and I kissed the back of his hand which was cradled in mine. “Nothing will happen, until we’re both ready, okay?” I said, but I was thinking - it’s been four years since I’ve been with anybody, I am soooo ready.
“If you’re sure,” he replied.
“I’m positive,” I said, almost a little too quickly.
He pulled in to the first hotel he came to. There was a restaurant next door. He went to pay for the room while I went to get something to go for dinner. I told him I’d meet him back at the car. While I was waiting for my food, I noticed a man just outside the window staring at me, studying me. A man with skin as pale as Matthew’s. My heart skipped a beat, what if this was an Enforcer, what would I say? What would I do? Where was Matthew? The man turned then and for a moment I felt relief, thinking he was just looking for someone else and was now leaving, but then the door opened and he was walking towards me. Every instinct told me to run, but I couldn’t move. Suddenly he stuck out his hand. I was expecting him to grab me so I squeezed my eyes shut. But, instead, he said “You must be Sarah, I’m Matt’s totally awesome, completely irresistible, amazingly lovable, best friend, Carlos.”
I forced my eyes open, smiled and shook his cold, smooth hand. “Ummm… hi Carlos, it’s very nice to meet you.”
“Uh-huh,” he said as he checked me out up and down. “I can see why he’s hooked. I came in because I just hadto meet the one,” he said, with a huge grin on his face, but curiosity in his eyes.
“Excuse me? Did you say, ‘the one’?” I asked.
“Yep,” he replied. “The one who made him smile. None of us had ever really seen him smile, until he met you.”
“That can’t be,” I said as I blushed. I wasn’t used to this kind of attention.
“It’s true, really it is. Well, mostly. Every once in a while I’d say something that got him to crack a smile. I’m a really funny guy, you’ll see. But his smiles were always short-lived and they never reached his eyes, until you.”
I’ve seen those smiles, I thought. The ones that lit up his face… and my heart. I did that? That can’t be. I didn’t really know what to say. “He makes me smile too,” I mumbled, clearly embarrassed by the conversation.
Carlos sensed this and eased my discomfort by changing the subject. “You think you’re smiling now, just wait until he… oh, never mind. That’s a conversation for after we know each other better. Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but, I’ve got to head back out now. W
e’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other later,” he said, grinning. “Matthew is waiting for you in Room 232. And don’t worry, we’ll be watching over you along the way,” and with that he turned and was out the door in a flash.
“Thank you,” I said quietly, not expecting him to hear, but he was suddenly just outside the window, floating actually.
He smiled and mouthed, “You’re welcome,” and then he was gone. Gone as in, up. Great, I thought, they fly can too? I looked around hoping no one had seen. It was dark, pretty deserted, and it had happened so fast that you would have missed it unless you knew what you were looking for.
The waitress brought me my food then. I went to reach for my wallet but suddenly there was a beautiful, white hand next to mine handing the waitress a credit card, and from the stunned look on the waitress’s face, it had to be Matthew. I turned and smiled up at him. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close to him, staring into my eyes the entire time the waitress ran his card and handed him the slip to sign. He never looked away once. He grabbed the bag with the food, turned and led me out the door, his eyes still never leaving my face (how does he do that? I wondered as I tripped over the door jam and he steadied me to keep me from falling). Behind us the waitress just shook her head.
“I missed you,” he whispered.
“I missed you too,” I said, and suddenly I wasn’t really thinking about dinner anymore.
In the room I tried to make small talk at first, even though my heart was racing a million miles an hour, I mean, the biggest object in the room was the bed. I set the food on the small table in the corner of the room. “I met your friend Carlos,” I said.
He smiled. “Yes, I know,” he replied.
He seemed to know the question that was coming next. “Um… can you fly too?” I asked.
“For short distances, yes, butCarlos is much better at it than I am.”
“Interesting,” I said. “But have you told, I mean, is it wise to tell people about me? About us? About what we’re doing?”
“For most it wouldn’t be, but Carlos has been my best friend since right after I was changed. I trust him with my life.”
“Okay, if you trust him, then I trust him,” I said, trying to stay focused on this conversation but my mind wasn’t cooperating. It was having a wrestling match - one part saying ‘Don’t do it Sarah, are you insane? It’s too soon’. The other part saying ‘You’ve waited too long for him Sarah, don’t let time get in the way’. Apparently my heart and my body weren’t listening to anything because I suddenly felt my feet carrying me towards him. Then I stopped. I even took a step backwards. He patiently watched my indecision, waiting for me to decide what I was ready for on my own. He smiled at me and sat on the edge of the bed. I opened my mouth to say something, closed it and took a step toward him, stopped again, then opened my mouth again.
“Matthew,” I began, “I… I… I don’t… I really… I can’t help… Oh forget it,” I said. I confidently took the last few steps to his arms. I reached up, wrapped my fingers in his hair and started kissing him, without hesitation, as hunger, passion and desire filled my entire body. He instantly felt it too. He let go of any hesitations he had and pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms tightly around me. His hands pressed into my back, then slid down to the bottom of my shirt and gently pulled it over my head. I wrestled with the buttons on his shirt and when I finally got it open, I tried not to gasp, but perfection was not an adequate word to describe him. I moaned as I kissed him harder, then again as I felt my chest pressing into his. There was already a spark of electricity that pulled me towards him, but as soon as my bare skin touched his, it was much too strong for me to even think about resisting it. I vaguely remembered thinking earlier about how amazing just kissing him felt and how much trouble I would be in if it went further… I was right.
He undid the button on my pants, and slowly pulled down my zipper. By this point I was completely beyond stopping. Hesitation was no longer in my realm of capabilities. I didn’t want slow,I didn’t want tentative. I took his hand and guided it down inside the front my pants. I groaned as his fingers found all the right places on me. I tried to fumble with the buttons on his jeans, but had to stop when my first climax slammed into me. As it finally began to subside and I was able to open my eyes again, I saw him staring at me, wide-eyed, his eyebrows raised and a huge grin on his face.
“What?” I said as I gasped for air.
“Wow,” he said, “That was… ummm… impressive. Are you….are you done now?”
I smiled at him and said, “Sweetheart, I’m just getting started.” I brought my mouth down on his and heard him mumble “Holy shit.” I began fumbling with the buttons on his jeans again. This time it was his turn to groan as I opened them and reached my hand inside. Suddenly neither of us could get our pants off fast enough. I pushed him down on the bed then and he allowed me to control everything, knowing that I needed this. He knew that I was completely releasing everything that had been closed off in me for a long time. As I climbed on top of him and took him inside me, I realized, without a doubt… that I could definitely get used to this…
Afterward, as we lay in each other’s arms, I was still trying to catch my breath as he gently caressed my skin. When I finally found my voice again I said,“I don’t want to move but I could really use a drink of water.”
In a flash before it had even registered that he was gone, he was up, grabbing a water bottle out of the small fridge and then back in my arms.
I smiled at him then, “I would like to watch you move sometimes, you’re awfully breathtaking.”
“So are you,” he said as he leaned down to kiss my breasts. He looked up at me smiled then moved up to kiss me, but I held up my hand.
“Whoa, hold on a second, I need some water first please,” I said.
“Oh, if you must,” he smiled, then he frowned and looked toward the door.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Carlos is back,” he replied as he started fumbling with the sheet, which was stuck underneath me. “We need to get you, ah, covered up. He’s coming in.”
As soon as he said that, the door knob turned. I lifted myself up and grabbed the sheet to pull it over me, hoping I had covered up before he came barging in, but from the smirk on Carlos’ face, I wasn’t sure if I had.
“Hi kids. Nice smile, Sarah,” he said, making me blush.
“Locks don’t let you know to knock?” I asked .
“Nah,” he smiled with a twinkle in his eye, “I usually put a hole in the door, and besides, it’s much more fun to just come in. So, what’s going on? Anything new with you two?” Then he grinned the first of what came to be known as the goofy Carlos grin. I couldn’t help but smile back, it was that infectious. I turned to Matthew to tell him to put something on because I was taking the sheet and going in to the shower, but he was already up and had his pants on. For a moment I sat there, gaping at him. I desperately wanted him in my arms again… what was I supposed to be doing? Oh yeah… shower. I shook my head to try and clear it, smiled, wrapped the sheet around me and headed in to the bathroom.
I started the water in the tub and sat there daydreaming, waiting for it to get hot, as I relived the last twenty-four hours in my mind, my heart racing when I got to the last few. I got under the hot water. It felt good, washing away any stress I had from trying not to think too much about the uncertainty of the future. I washed my hair, my body and was just relaxing under the warm water when suddenly, silently, he was there, pulling back the curtain and climbing in with me. He washed his hair. While he was rinsing with his eyes closed, I snuck a peak at his perfect body, blushing when I got back up to his face and found him looking at me and smiling. I grabbed the soap and began to gently wash his body, but it didn’t take long before washing was the last thing on our minds. He pulled me to him and began kissing me hard as he released the hunger that he had controlled last time. He wasn’t holding back this time. He quickly turned off the
water, picked me up and carried me back to the bed. I dimly remembered my dinner that was sitting on the table uneaten but didn’t seem to care about it. And I didn’t even try to catch my breath this time.
I woke with a start. Looking at the clock I saw that it was three a.m. My throat was completely parched (I never did get that drink before). I turned on the small lamp on the nightstand, found the water bottle on the floor and took a long drink, finishing it almost immediately. That was when I turned to look at him, and gasped. The moonlight from the window made him appear even more pale than usual, if that was even possible. He was completely naked, completely stunning, and completely NOT breathing. It didn’t matter that I had been warned; it was the strangest thing actually seeing it. Not that it scared me, not really, but it made me wonder. How would I know that he wasn’t actually, you know, dead? Like real, not waking up ever, dead? I started to feel a panic building in me then. I wasn’t sure what I should do. What would happen if I tried wake him up? I started to reach out a finger to poke him, maybe that would get him to roll over or twitch or something. I moved closer and then jumped as he smirked and said, “You know, a kiss or something would be nicer,” then he rolled over to look at me, and once again my breath caught. I must be dreaming. This can’t be real. As if reading my mind, he suddenly reached over, grabbed me and pulled me down next to him.
