Love with Every Beat

by K. L. Shandwick

  Ripping the paper out of the journal and balling it in my fist, I banged my hand on my guitar, feeling inadequate that I didn’t have something better to impress her with. WTF—nothing could happen anyway. My jaw was clenched tightly with frustration as I ground my teeth, both about the song and not having the freedom to make decisions about my life without them affecting other people.

  My chest hurt, because it could have been my one chance to get to know this girl. My life was in a really difficult phase, and there was no room for distractions, no matter how beautiful or how fucking sweet it might have been to explore something with her. The conflict between my feelings and my responsibilities closed and landed like a lead weight on my chest. No matter what, I had to take a proper look at her.

  Chapter 2 – Checking Out

  Flicking my head up quickly, I gave her a solid look. Damn. She was fucking incredible to look at. A delicate, beautiful face, huge almond-shaped, light blue eyes framed by thick dark long eyelashes. She had the cutest button nose and her mouth… fuck her mouth. Full, deep pink, beautifully sculpted lips. She was biting her bottom one, and from what I could see, pearly white teeth. It was the perfect mouth. She had the perfect mouth.

  Fuck. She was so amazing to look at. I thought the devil himself had sent her to tempt me, and my cock was aching, feeling totally neglected as my brain, heart, and eyes were allowed to feast on her again, leaving my dick wanton. And boy was it wanton. My mind, eyes, and body worked independently of what my head was trying to warn me about.

  When my eyes met hers briefly I swear if we’d been in private the girl wouldn’t have stood a chance. I’d have thrown myself on her and taken her right there on the lawn. Pretty strong feelings for someone I’d never even spoken to before—definitely lust at first sight.

  How she was looking at me got me all hot and horny, because fuck if she wasn’t checking me out as well. A salacious smile on her lips and a pink tinge to her cheeks telling me that what she was thinking was far from pure. My conclusion was she liked what she saw as well.

  She was looking into my eyes, but fuck if it didn’t feel like she was slowly caressing my nuts. Fuck. My breath caught in my throat as my head began to rule my thoughts, pulling me back and giving me a reality check. I shook my head, knowing I could not do this. I broke my gaze and bowed my head, looking back to my journal, scratching angrily at the lyrics on it with my Sharpie.

  Between desire for her and my frustration about the song, my body was in conflict… Those feelings of anger, desire, and lust were becoming overpowering. Not a great combination when the frustration about my situation kicked in.

  So, I fought my feelings and ignored her, keeping my focus on trying to write and compose, and at the same time willing her to get up and leave. She didn’t. After a few minutes I heard her clear her throat, and I instinctively looked up again. Our eyes locked on one another again, and this time wild horses couldn’t have dragged me away from taking her in.

  When my thoughts caught up with my desires, I broke my stare and dropped back onto my back. The whole deal with her was making me feel pretty fucking restless. My muscles ached, and the tense feeling I had about the burdens I was carrying felt desperate and overwhelming at that moment.

  Reaching above my head, my arms stretched out, and I laced my fingers together, turning my arms outwards. I was trying to undo some of the kinks of tension she was making me feel, plus hunching over my guitar always gave me muscle pain across my shoulders if I sat in that one position too long.

  The pleasure and pain from the stretching felt exquisite, but the pain in my dick throbbed with an ache that was desperate to penetrate something. And she was still there, just sitting quietly. Damn. I dug my ass in as I brought myself up onto one elbow, again looking directly at her. She let out a shuddery breath. Fuck me; she’s staring at my groin and knows I’m hard. I bit back a grin, but the smirk escaped, knowing I was definitely not the only one of us who was thinking impure thoughts.

  Blushing red, and feeling so uncomfortable at my smirk, she squirmed. That little action right there told me she knew that I knew what she had been doing. And damn that made her even more appealing, but there was no fucking way I was taking it any further. I’d gone too far already.

  If she wasn’t going to leave then I had to make her. So I made it obvious I was checking her out. I wanted to unnerve her. I was blatant in my observation of her, my eyes scanning over her again with a salacious smirk on my face. Slowly ascending from her feet, my eyes ticked up her body, making sure my head followed suit. I was leering at her. She would be in no doubt about what I was doing.

  I didn’t have to pretend I was looking though. The girl was absolutely sensational, and I wondered who I was making more uncomfortable, her or me. The look on her face was priceless to start with. Her jaw hung wide open; in disbelief at the way I was allowing myself to objectify her. When my eyes reached hers, her teeth caught her bottom lip closing her mouth in such a perfect way that cemented just how sexy she was. A move that let a man know a woman was definitely into you.

  There was nothing that could have stopped me from smiling at that. She was so… fucking perfect. Cute and as innocent as hell, but the look of defiance on her face had brought me dangerously close to chuckling. “Hey,” I said, not able to resist making conversation despite everything I’d told myself earlier.

  I wanted to hear the voice of the angel sitting before me. No, I had to hear it. She sat there looking like a frightened kitten with her chest rising and falling in an erratic way, and I concluded she was either very nervous or very excited.

  She seemed nervous to me and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Alfie,” I said pointing at myself by way of an introduction and to make her feel less self- conscious. “Are you majoring in music?” She nodded and blushed again, and suddenly I wanted to take her hand and tell her to relax.

  “Lily,” she replied and boldly pointed her finger at herself, but clearly looked awkward about trying to have the same effect on me. It did. She was mirroring me, and I found that hot in a submissive kind of way.

  Lily had the sun behind her, and my eyes squinted to see her, but damn, she was the vision of loveliness. Her sensually, sweet smile stoked my dick with just as much effect as if her lips had brushed over it. I couldn’t stop myself, so I kissed my fingers throwing my hand outwards away from my body in approval of how devastatingly perfect she looked.

  She was a wonderful mixture of sexy, coy, innocent, nervous, shy, adorably cute, and so damn brave to face someone like me head on. Especially when I was treating her in such a shitty manner. Her cute little bold injections of defiance were drawing me in and making my dick swell.

  My feelings of desire appeared to be winning the contest between my clashing conscience and raging hormones. She was turning out to be a contradiction and that made her harder to read and all the more a challenge.

  She was definitely in a different league from any other girl I’d ever been attracted to in my life and damn if I was going to have to try with everything I had not to go after her. “Well, hi Lily, what a beautiful lady, would you like to come over and sit by me?” I gestured in front of me, thinking she’d turn on her heels at my forwardness. I was using my rock star charm, and this either scared the shit out of girls, rendering them silent, or they threw themselves at me. I was banking on the former being her choice.

  Lily was hesitant and when I saw her little body tense it was like a punch to my gut. The last thing I’d wanted to do, under normal circumstances, would be to make her feel uncomfortable. I felt ashamed that I was having this effect on her and doing it on purpose.

  She was so unsure of herself, but damn if it didn’t make Lily even sexier. Lily looked embarrassed, but I saw a streak of defiance and courage when her stunning face steeled and her lips stretched into a slightly forced smile. She crooked her little head upwards and jutted her chin out then began moving with purpose to sit facing me.

  “That sounded interesting, how’s
it coming along?” she asked melodically as she positioned herself down opposite me. When I heard her accent, my body tensed as I fought the way her voice did something to my hormones, which seemed to send a tingling feeling all the way down my raging hard on. Yeah, fucking tingles. No other word for it. The effect she was having on me was killing me.

  Realizing I was in danger of staring at her all the time if she sat opposite, I patted the ground next to my hip for her to come alongside me. Again, she surprised me and even though she reacted tentatively, she did it.

  When she sat down, her breathing sped up and her short breaths seemed shallow, like she couldn’t take enough air in, as she struggled with being close to me. The effect of her being close wasn’t exactly a picnic in the park for me either. She was within touching distance now, and I had another urge to fight.

  Turning my head toward Lily, I stole a fleeting glance and caught sight of how rapidly her heart was beating. I could see a pulse ticking in a prominent vein in her neck. She squirmed a little then settled back against the tree. Good. At least if she didn’t get her breathing under control and fainted, she wouldn’t fall over. I couldn’t help a small smirk to myself at that thought.

  Repositioning myself, my arm brushed against hers in my effort to move closer to her. Another tingle ran across my arm, down my body, and twitched in my dick. Chemistry. My initial reaction was to look at my arm, but I couldn’t ignore the goose-bumps I saw on her white, almost transparent skin when I did. Lily had felt the buzz as well.

  Glancing up at her face, I could see her mouth gape a little and heard the soft hitch of her breath. It all happened in an instant, but our reaction to each other seemed like slow motion at the same time. Our accidental touch had put her off kilter. Yes, she definitely felt it as well. Chemistry. “You’re not from these parts?” I stated trying desperately to find words and get my head back on straight.

  “No, London,” she replied in a sweet and proper voice. Her tone was soft and low. A very sexy, refined, and slightly quirky voice, and I found myself staring at her mouth again. She had great tone and diction, and I knew it was a voice I’d never get tired of listening to. Lily was turning me inside out, and I was struggling to keep myself the right way up with her.

  Finding myself smiling, a groan escaped my throat. I was a sucker for accents, English being my all-time favorite. Unconsciously my palm stroked over my chest, and I stroked down to my belly, trying to sooth the need to pin her to the goddamn floor. The fight to keep myself from acting on my thoughts was a real test of my will.

  “Oh, your accent turns me on. You are going to have to be careful around me, Lily.” I winked, but my warning was completely serious. I was being frank with her. She could be badly hurt; if I got with her it would be a one-time thing. Internally, my conflict continued, my goal shifting from zero to maybe just allowing myself one bite at the cherry with her.

  Feeling my resistance to her was currently nil, but there was no point in culturing any kind of interest in her, I had to try harder to turn her against me. There was no way I could get involved in a romantic way with her.

  Her jaw dropped a little but she caught it and clamped her mouth closed again pressing her lips slightly into a line. I thought she was going to get up and leave. She didn’t. Instead Lily blushed scarlet, and I could see that just my presence next to her was making her body hum.

  The poor girl was coming apart in front of me, and I hadn’t even tried to hit on her. The tone of my voice should have left her with no doubt that it was a warning, but she wasn’t heeding it at all. She tucked her hair behind her ears again, and I noticed how petite and delicate her hands were.

  I wondered how her fingers would feel laced in mine, how soft her hands would feel, and how tiny it would look in mine, when what I should have been thinking was how she was able to play her guitar with such little fingers.

  “Are all the men this forward here?” Lily’s straight talking comeback surprised me, which made me grin. She had spunk. Lily wasn’t going to let me get away with my comment, so I was honest in my reply. “Only when hot little chicks speak in an English accent to us.”

  Thinking she would shrivel up at that comment I was left almost speechless when she retorted, “Well, you know, the hot American male voice has its moments for us too.” Her face pinked, and I knew it had taken courage for her to flirt back like that.

  “Good to know,” I said grinning again, this time because I was impressed she wouldn’t let me intimidate her, so for extra effect I wiggled my eyebrows. There was a definite need to up my game because my feeling was that Lily felt she could handle me. And damn, if she wasn’t naïve if she thought that.

  Trying to get her to reject me was a challenge, when my dilemma was that I was screaming out to feel her warm little body beneath me. I couldn’t afford to be weak, there was no way I could pursue her. From the feelings she was stirring deep down inside of me, I knew that Lily was probably the one girl I could never hook up with and forget about.

  “You want to cut to the chase and go fuck me then?” Never. Ever. In. My. Life. have I said anything remotely like that to a woman, even if I had thought it. There was no way I’d disrespect anyone like that, but at that point, I could feel that I didn’t have the strength to resist taking what I could get from her. Lily was going to have to do the resisting.

  Her reaction to my comment was fascinating to watch. She was very self- aware, but I could see the shocked look on her face even though she was fighting for control over it, and although she didn’t allow that many outward signs, it was clear she was freaked out. Her nervous giggle gave her away.

  Her smile suddenly left her face and a crease formed at her brow as a frown appeared. “Okay, enough of the chitchat, back to business.” Lily’s attempt at a change of subject was anything but seamless, and I could see she was perturbed by my comment. Good. She pointed at my notebook with her little index finger and tried to distract me. I was getting to her.

  So I pasted on a shit-eating grin and turned to face her before I continued. “Kinky business?” The way I said it, I was pretending to tease her and dug my elbow gently into her delicate ribs. I rolled my eyes for effect, and she rewarded me with a nervous giggle that tickled my swollen dick again.

  Sneaking another peek at her, I could see her cheeks were pink again. Lily really was too fucking cute, which was why she needed her to stay the fuck away from me. “Are you open to suggestions?” she squeaked out. Oh, girl that question was a gift.

  “Always, are you?” I asked playfully, my question loaded with intent and holding her gaze. I was giving her a wicked grin for effect, and damn if she didn’t squirm again.

  “I’m thinking about your song,” she admonished. “I have a line that I think could be a good fit with what you are singing about.” Lily wasn’t all that confident saying it to me, but the way she said it made me intrigued to hear what she had.

  “Oh? Great. Well, give it up, then we can go somewhere quiet, and I can have some great sex with your perfect little body.” I felt like such a shit putting Lily, the, gorgeous, innocent girl, in this position, but I had started on this path, and she was too dangerous to have around.

  Seeing her so uncomfortable was really difficult, Lily was struggling with what I had said. Clearly shocked, but that sweet little chin jutted again, and she defiantly held my gaze. So I went in for the kill. “I have a good few fantasies already forming. I might need to act those out with you.”

  I wasn’t lying. In my head I had already imagined what it would feel like to have my fingertips digging into the globes of her ass as I supported her. Her arms around my neck, fingers tangling in my hair, softly tugging on it. Her legs wrapped around my waist as I slowly slid her slick, wet, little pussy over my dick as I sank into her.

  Turning crimson, she tried to look as if she was unperturbed by what I had said. “What makes you think I’d sleep with you?” Lily asked me with humor in her voice. Another challenge and fuck if it didn’t make me h
arder—if that were even possible by that point. I stifled a growl and continued my assault.

  “Sweetheart, you definitely wouldn’t sleep with me,” I stated with arrogance. “Exhausted yes, sleep… nope, I’d keep you awake fucking you senseless.” Smirking, I winked at her again, but inwardly I felt a complete bastard for making her think I’d treat any woman like that.

  What I had told her wasn’t a lie. I had never said a truer word. The things I wanted to do to her. Things I could and would do to her, with her, were blowing my mind and making the hormones operating my dick almost uncontrollable.

  My body was humming just being near her. Pre cum coated my boxers just looking at her, the uncomfortable wetness reminding me that my dick wanted more. My body was going into meltdown with desire just saying those words and thoughts of being with her. Life just wasn’t fair. None of the things my dirty, sin-filled mind was conjuring up were an option.

  I watched an array of emotions flit through her mind and change her facial expressions. Shock, horror, discomfort, and hmm…lust? Had I imagined that smouldering look when her eyelids dropped a little because my own horny thoughts had taken over?

  Lily shifted and squirmed next to me again. Yup she was definitely feeling something from my comments, but it wasn’t the response I wanted. Her body language suggested I was turning her on. Then I imagined her panties damp with her moist juices, and fuck I was getting nowhere fast.

  “Music is the sound of feelings, and she listened to what he felt.” Sweet words dragged me out of my revere, and I tilted my head to look at her…“Huh?” Blinking just once, I stared into the space just past her head. I had been totally immersed in my fantasy about what else I would do to turn her on. I shook my head and looked at her again.

  “The song,” she stated and smiled sexily at me with that perfect luscious mouth of hers. Her tongue licked her dry lips making them glisten.