Love with Every Beat

by K. L. Shandwick

  I took her pussy in my mouth, sucking and licking. My tongue delved around her clit and down each side of her inner lips before probing into her deep entrance. When I drew my tongue over her clit it was almost as hard as my dick. Drawing my tongue all the way down her seam to her anus was awesomely hot because it was a risk as to whether she’d accept me doing that.

  Lily screamed again and arched and begged, “No more, I can’t take it. Please fuck me.” Her words made me lap harder and faster, and I inserted two fingers inside the entrance of her sex.

  “Are you ready for me, Lily?” I teased wickedly between licking and finger fucking her hot, sweet pussy. Her vaginal walls started gripping my fingers tightly, and I could tell she was almost coming. She whimpered, “Please, please, I can’t…”

  I kissed her and whispered into her throat, “Go for it girl,” placing my mouth back on her pussy. I sucked hard on her clit, while moving my fingers inside her rapidly. The way her body was seizing up, her legs locking around my head like a vice, and her pussy clamping down on my fingers, I knew she was going to come hard. A few seconds later she was bucking and thrashing around, her head rising off of the bed forward as she screamed, “Alfie!”

  Pulling my head back to watch her, I teased her clit with my thumb. I was smiling when I continued to squeeze more from her, her body pulsing with each wave of ecstasy she felt. When she was done I extracted my fingers slowly and sat up. I wiped my mouth and grinned devilishly at the look on her face.

  What an awesome girl. She looked incredible, her just fucked hair and face matted with ice cream, her body was sticky and sweaty. Lily looked a hot mess and completely ravished. Perfect.

  Smirking and raising an eyebrow at her I said softly, “Vanilla sex, my version anyway.” Before rolling on my back and pulling her on top of me. “You okay?” She nodded and gave me a weak smile, which made me chuckle again.

  Not knowing what else to say I just lay holding her and drew small circles on her arm with thumb. Her head lay over my chest. Our hearts beating in time. And it just felt right.

  We lay in a quiet comfortable silence for a few minutes until she spoke. “What are you thinking?” She was lying perfectly still, her hand over my right pectoral muscle, and there was just something about the picture of it for me that struck a chord inside.

  “You want to know…seriously? Lily, I don’t know what you’re doing here with me.” Honest thoughts fell from my mouth. I was stunned she had let all what had happened before slide. I’d given this girl a hard time, treated her like shit in public, and she was here giving me the best sex of my life.

  “What do you mean?” Lily turned her head and looked up at me. It was a look of adoration, and it tore my heart to see it.

  “You…you are so fucking incredible. You don’t need to be with me. You can have any guy you want out there.

  Trust me… I’ve seen how men look at you.” She scowled at me and jutted that little jaw again in determination.

  “I thought we had an understanding. I don’t want any other guys, I’m happy as things are, now that you’ve explained your ‘ignoring me’ tactic. You’re exaggerating how attractive I am.”

  I stared at her incredulously and slowly moved a strand of hair off of her forehead. A heavy sigh escaped my lungs and the pain low down in my belly made me feel sick. It was time for honesty. “I can’t love you, Lily. You should be with someone who can give you everything.”

  She swallowed audibly, and I was trying to figure out what she was making of all of this. Hoping she wasn’t getting attached to me. “I won’t love you Alfie; isn’t this why we are doing this?” Lily was holding my gaze, and my eyes narrowed a little, then I moved and kissed her neck. My mind was in complete conflict, she was everything I could ever have wanted in a woman, but the impossible situation I was in left no room for anything but sex.

  “Alfie, if you don’t want to do this just say and I’ll leave.” No contemplation on that one—it was a categorical, no.

  “Can I have a minute?” Trying hard to be as honest as I could be with her without telling her the ‘why not’ was difficult. Lily had to be the one to decide whether or not she could really do this or not.

  Rolling over toward her, my index finger traced slowly and tenderly down her belly before I spoke. “Lily, sweetheart…” My eyes made contact with hers, and I instantly regretted looking at her.

  Lily worked a difficult swallow, and it looked painful. Tears began to brim in those gorgeous blue eyes, as she was blinking hard, trying to keep them at bay. Putting her head down, fighting them back. It was at this point I realized she was beginning to feel more than I could give her.

  Sighing heavily, I knew I had no choice but to let her down gently. “Lily, you are the whole package, the whole fucking package.” I trembled a little. “You’re beautiful, intelligent, funny, playful, a fucking goddess in the bedroom, and too fucking sweet and innocent to do this.” She deserved better.

  Her eyes darkened and narrowed at me, her mouth pursing into a straight line. She was pissed. “Is that so? Why did you ask me then? You know nothing about me Alfie. I don’t want to be in a long-term relationship right now. Your offer wouldn’t have appealed to me if I did.”

  She was lying, and so was I—she was starting to mean more to me as well. I lay on my back again, staring at the ceiling before I turned and met her gaze, holding it.

  “Tonight… you were so fucking hot tonight. I almost came just watching you in those heels, playing that fucking guitar. You play amazingly. I want to play with you, by the way.” I smiled at her, shaking my head again for the umpteenth time in disbelief that she was even here with me, let alone in a fuck buddy type relationship.

  As soon as I said it, she blushed, so I kept piling the pressure on. “You can do so much better than me, Lily. Don’t waste your time with me, honey.”

  There was a look of fear in her eyes, but I wasn’t sure how to read it. “If you want out, just say.” Her ‘throw back’ comment took the wind out of me. Suddenly the thought she’d really go made me waver, and I heard myself quickly say, “I’m in. Only if you insist you’re sure.”

  There was a pregnant pause in our conversation. If I let her go now, she’d be in another relationship in no time. That douche, Will, would make a move on her. That was the one thing I had to know about.

  “So what’s the deal with Will, are you fucking him as well?” I knew that whatever she said after an opening like that would be an honest answer. Lily sat up and gave me an incredulous look, clearly hurt that I could even begin to believe that. I didn’t. I just wanted to see her raw reaction to what he meant to her.

  “Where has that come from? I’m not a slut, Alfie. Anyway, isn’t the deal we can fuck whoever we want with no strings?” The look of devastation on her face made me feel disgusted I’d even suggested something like that.

  Perching myself up on one elbow I said, “Oh, honey, I didn’t mean to make you feel you were under the microscope. I was curious, that’s all. I want someone on my level, and I believe now that you are. I’m more than happy with things.” She was not with him and by the looks of things, from a male perspective she might need some help to make sure it didn’t happen either. He’d be all kinds of wrong for her.

  Changing the subject, I wanted to lift the mood and make her feel good again. “Come on.” I pulled her gently up off of the bed and guided her into the bathroom.

  “It’s time to get clean,” I stated, darting back to the bedroom and returning with the champagne bottle and a couple of condoms. I had to make both of us forget the heavy conversation we’d been having.

  Turning on the shower, I grabbed her by the waist and tugged her under the water with me. “Come on, you need a scrub, you’re a very dirty girl,” I said playfully in a husky voice, giving her a fast smack across her ass cheek and immediately soothing the redness with the palm of my hand.

  She was tense so I began peppering little nips and kisses on the back of her neck, biting he
r shoulder a little and stroking her ass with my other hand.

  The hot shower had a soothing effect on her and the steam heightening my touch on her skin. She wasn’t hard to turn around. Short panting breaths escaped her lungs and her trembling body, twisting and jolting every time my hand skittered across one of her erogenous zones.

  I took a washcloth and lathered it with my body wash. Standing behind her, I began to glide the soapy fabric over her back. Her head flopped forward, and I saw her shoulders visibly drop their tension. I guided the cloth under her arms and over her breasts, her nipples tightening as I moved the foamy material across them.

  I placed a hand on her belly, and she sagged back against my erect dick which pressed hard into her back. Lily wiggled her hips and moved her ass across it creating greater friction, it was getting bigger and thicker with every trace of her against it.

  I began washing the ice cream from between her legs. I could have taken care of her like that all day. It was so intimate and a first for me. I had never wanted to take care of a woman like that before. I didn’t like the feelings it was dragging up for me though. It made me feel too comfortable.

  When her hand slid over mine, she drew the washcloth away, turning to face me at the same time, and the look she gave me was one of adoration. The concentration she gave her task was both painful to watch and the most pleasurable experience imaginable to feel. As she washed the sticky ice cream away she was simultaneously smoothing it across my hard dick. I struggled not to get lost in the act.

  Keeping eye contact with her was so damn difficult. There were too many thoughts protruding from the depths of my mind about her that I was constantly fighting to bury. I was feeling too much for her, the reality was that I really wanted more with her, but it just wasn’t possible—the way she was caring for me was awesome.

  My heart wanted me to wash her hair, take her out of the shower, and dry her. Lay her flat and worship her for hours on end. Learn everything about her. Hold hands in the dark. Run with her in the rain. I wanted to do every damn think I could think of with her, but none of that was possible. ‘We’ were impossible when I had Kara and Poppy to think about.

  She was staring at me. Her eyes were almost sucking the truth out of my soul. I buried my face in her neck to keep her from seeing the real me that was threating to surface.

  She cupped her hands and washed the soap away and before I knew what was going on she was crouched down, then knelt and took my dick in her mouth. She sucked really gently, and it was exactly the right pressure and pace I needed. My head went back, the soft impact audible on the tiles. “Oh honey, damn… I… God.” Scared to say anything else in fear of saying the wrong thing, I just stood silently and got lost in the moment.

  Right then, at that moment, we needed to get lost in one another. Right then, we could have each other, and I wasn’t going to waste another minute with her. I tugged at her arms and pulled her up level with me. I shook my dick dry with the towel, grabbed one of the foil packets and set about wrapping myself.

  My actions were hurried, and my breathing was so ragged because I was fighting again to control my animal instincts about what I needed to do to her. When she looked at me I felt dizzy with lust. “Sexy girl.” I fell forward resting my forehead on hers. I had to close my eyes, because at that moment, if I kept looking at her, I was sure she’d know exactly what I was feeling.

  Chapter 12 – Holding Back

  My palms smoothed up Lily’s thighs, and I lifted her up onto my hips. Water jets were beating down on us as my lips took hers in a hungry kiss. Her smooth pussy skimmed across my erect dick, brushing it sensually, and I pressed her tightly against the cold tile wall of the shower needing more from her. Lily’s thighs instinctively clung to my hips, her legs coiling around my back. I knew her ankles had locked when I felt her heels digging into crease of my ass.

  Breaking the kiss, I stared into her eyes as they held mine back. The connection between us emanating back and forth like an arc of electricity. I kneaded the firm globes of her ass in my hands, and I couldn’t help feeling that this was a perfect moment between us. All the bullshit and lies we told ourselves in our mutual denial of what this was between us; that ‘thing’ between us that had no name was forgotten.

  Lily’s eyes were clouded with a fog of lust, her hair plastered onto the side of her face, drenched from the water running down at an angle. Her mouth slightly parted and her tongue just visible.

  Positioning her over my dick, I watched her face and her reaction as she took me inside of her. My fingers bit into her soft flesh when I tilted the angle of her hips and began to take her, lowering her onto my throbbing strained dick.

  Her jaw relaxed and dropped in a silent ‘O’, a faint whimper escaping from her throat as her eyes widened then drooped in a sensual response to the feeling of fullness I was giving her. She was fighting to keep those eyes opened and on me.

  Her pussy walls clenched and released in their initial resistance to me, and the feeling of penetrating her slowly through every delectable inch of her tight, smooth vaginal walls was indescribable. Holding her at that angle meant less restriction for her, and it helped me sink so deeply inside of her. The fit between us was so snug. “Oh, God… your little pussy is so tight,” I growled.

  “Fuck,” she hissed as she exhaled. “God.” Lily dropped her face into my neck.

  I leaned back and made eye contact again. Her head rose and held my gaze, and I began to rock gently and slowly in and out of her. “You don’t have to stroke my ego by calling me your god,” I teased wickedly. Her sex-drugged eyes widened, and we smiled at each other, then she dropped her head on my shoulder.

  The barely there sounds she made were so fucking hot. A soft mewl and a whimper, which drew heat from my dick and ignited a feeling so horny in me, that I wanted to tie her down and fuck the hell out of her.

  Something deep within me held me back. I kept my movements painfully slow, not wanting it to end. I was kissing her neck and mouth in small tender pecks, wanting somehow to convey to her that even although I couldn’t offer her a relationship, my tender approach was showing her that in that moment, she was it for me.

  The pace was languished, but when her fingernails began to dig into my shoulders, I knew she was starting to need more. I began to increase the pace and was bouncing her up and down on my dick; she weighed nothing in my hands.

  When I glanced up at her the look on her face made me chuckle. She was gasping and moaning softly, biting her lip and worrying it in between to the pace I was setting and giggling intermittently. She was so fucking hot but she was putting me off.

  “Stop it, Lily, I’m getting tickly.”

  When she continued I almost lost it and began pounding into her. I felt her start to tighten and bear down and slowed up a little to make it last. I was too late, she was beginning to grip me hard inside so I fucked her hard and fast to give her what she needed to release.

  I was growling and grunting while she gripped my hair and began directing me. “Don’t stop, Alfie, yeah, just like that, just like that…” She came so hard bearing down on me, clamping me tightly inside and screaming my name. Our labored breathing was like we’d run a marathon between us, and we were clinging tightly to each other.

  “Lily, fuck.” My head crumpled into her neck and I growled, “Goddammit.”

  Leaning into her, still supporting her against the tile wall with just my body, my hands were now against the wall on either side of her head. We stayed there for a minute, still breathless and panting hard.

  I slowly eased myself out of her and set her down on the floor. I tugged her gently to the floor with our backs on the wall. When I turned my head to look at her she was already studying my face. Leaning over I kissed her head through her hair and pulled her in close to my chest in a hug.

  Overpowered by the mix of emotions washing over me, feelings I fought hard to suppress were trying to break free from my psyche. They were threating to drag me under. I pulled aw
ay and stood up, leaving Lily sitting on the shower floor. There was no way I could look at her because there were things going on in my head, heart, and soul that I couldn’t really formulate words about. Or if I did, I was in danger or saying something I would definitely have to retract when the heat of the moment had passed.

  Grabbing a towel I quickly wrapped it around my waist and made my way back to the bedroom. I needed a minute to collect myself. My bedroom was trashed. There was ice cream everywhere, and the smell of champagne, sex, Lily, and me was thick in the air. Our mingled body fluids and heavy breaths, alcohol meshing with the vanilla scent from the ice- cream.

  My fist grasped the sheets, and I yanked them off the bed, feeling angry that I wasn’t free to pursue and explore whatever the fuck I was feeling. The mattress was stained wet. A visual reminder of all the feelings I had shared with Lily…that we’d poured into each other during the past couple of hours.

  I flipped the mattress and went into the closet in the hallway, taking out some white stripped cotton sheets and a dark red comforter to remake the bed. I was doing this when Lily came out of the bathroom wrapped in a soft white towel.

  She began moving around, holding the towel closed in one hand and picking up her clothing with the other. I shook a sheet out and began making the bed trying to pretend I wasn’t paying attention to her. The awkward silence between us was deafening.

  She caught my eye and the hurt look on her face almost destroyed me. “You don’t have to go home, it’s really late. Stay—I’d like you to stay.” I sighed heavily, frustrated that I couldn’t say more to her. Couldn’t give more to her.

  “Why?” The one word I had an honest answer for. The thought of letting her leave after what we had just shared was too much. The feeling of letting her go was crushing my chest and making my heart beat erratic, because I couldn’t fucking tell her.