Love with Every Beat

by K. L. Shandwick

  Shaking my head, I said, “No way, not until you see and hear what I want to tell you, after that…” I threw my hand out palm up and waved my arm out there. “It’s your call. Why don’t you try trusting me for a change? You’ve done everything else except that.”

  Walking over, I took her hand and led her up the stairs to the apartment. Pulling out my keys, I let us inside. Lily’s eyes scanned the bare apartment, and I dipped my knees slightly taking her other hand and made eye contact with her.

  “I was going to wait until Friday, until Jack was here to do this, but fate intervened today. Besides, I don’t want three more days without you. I fucking hate that Zack guy hanging all over you, touching what’s mine.” I should have been going back to London in a few days, but my time in Miami had been extended for a few weeks. Jack was coming to see Lily with Elle, both Jack and Drew had told me this much.

  “I’m not yours Alfie, and you’re not mine.”

  Angry, I dropped my hands and walked away from her. I spun around the room with my arms out.

  “Look around you Lily, it’s just us. No one else.”

  “Where is Kara?”

  Smirking because she still didn’t get it, I said, “Gone.”

  Lily looked at me puzzled, “Gone? Gone where?”

  I smiled again. “Portland. Portland, Oregon.” And filled her in on what had been going on in the past few weeks.

  “I have no idea how to make this right, Lily. I can’t live without you near me. The past six months have been soul destroying. I’ve been going through the motions. I went to see Jack, I wanted advice. Jack told me I was a fucking idiot for trying to be anything but honest with you, Lily.”

  “What about the woman in the studio?”

  Confused I asked, “In the studio?”

  Sighing heavily, Lily said, “You know Alfie, the one sitting on the desk swinging her legs, the standing close, kissing your face, you with your hands on her lower back.”

  Damn, that was what the weird stuff after lunch was. “Oh, Carla you mean? Yeah, she came to tell me we had been signed. She works for the record label. She looked kinda flirty, I’ll admit, but I was just happy about the news. How could I be interested in any girl when I have you? My cuddle was more about the news she brought than anything. I wasn’t even conscious of where my arms were.”

  He added, “Anyway, if you saw her, why didn’t you come in? To be honest Lily, I was going to tell you that night about being signed, but you blew me off to study. I didn’t want you distracted so I thought it would keep until our last night at the studio but…”

  Lily’s mind was working overtime; I could see from the expressions on her face that she realized a lot of what we’d been through could have been avoided. So, being the opportunist that I am, I kept going.

  “I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you, Lily. I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you so badly. You have no idea what that has done to me. No matter what happens, or what you decide today, I will love you until the day I die. I told myself I couldn’t get involved with you because of my situation, but our connection was so strong I couldn’t fight against you. My heart was yours from the moment my skin touched yours, and your heart was mine.”

  Tears rolled down Lily’s face again. “Sorry.” I didn’t speak or move to comfort her.

  “I’m so sorry Alfie, we tried to have an uncomplicated relationship, and we both got it wrong, but you weren’t honest for your own reasons in the beginning, which I understand now, and I’m sorry I didn’t believe you when you finally did tell me about Kara.”

  Emotions that were too hard to fight choked my throat, and my own tears started to fall, silent tears.

  “Where do we go from here, Lily?” I asked quietly, knowing there was still a mountain to climb.

  “We don’t go anywhere, Alfie. Our lives are very different now from when we met. We should just be thankful for knowing love at this level.”

  Lily agreed to meet me for lunch the next day, despite not wanting to continue to be with me. That one concession gave me hope, so I drove her back to her condo. Pulling up alongside the apartment building, Lily got out and didn’t look back, keeping her head down as she disappeared through the door.

  Seeing the way she walked away, my gut told me there was no way she was going to be a no-show the next day. And there was no way I was letting up on this now that Kara was gone.

  Holding Lily in my arms had given me that same feeling of complete contentment deep in my soul, despite the circumstances of that restroom today. If that was how I could feel at the height of conflict with her, then I had to try for everything else.

  Being flown up to Orlando took less than an hour. Mandy looked sensational in a one piece leather suit with a plunging neckline. She was small and dark with a really edgy look, and although she was nervous when she got out there, she rocked the house.

  Keiron Hughes was nervous about letting her perform with us, but like I said, I’m Alfie Black, and he might be the executive who cuts the deals, I’m the artist and as such, will decide who performs with my band. Music collaborations are a fun thing to do, and I got a kick out of supporting such a brilliant singer as Mandy. She was amazing.

  Ten forty-five we arrived back in Miami. Going to the club was a huge risk, but I knew she was playing, and I’d really gone to keep her from leaving with the surfer dude at the end of the night. The thought of her being with him made my jaw tick and my fist clench.

  Sitting over at the bar on the high stools gave me a bit of a vantage point. XrAid, Lily’s band, was popular and the club was packed out that night. Lily started to do her thing, and I slipped off the stool and wandered around the edge, watching her and the guys in her band and the crowd at the front watching her.

  Chemistry between Lily and her bandmates aside, I enjoyed watching them work together. Amazing combination of talents all perfectly attuned to complement their musical abilities.

  Smiling, she looked down and when I followed her eyes, the surfer dude was standing at the front, tapping his leg in time to the beat of the music. No chance. I kind of felt sorry for him, because there was no way that guy was winning my girl’s heart. She was mine, she just had to get with the program, and I was the guy who had to sign her up.

  I didn’t hang around, and because of my knowledge of playing in places like that before, I was able to get backstage without anyone challenging me. I mean it wasn’t like there was much security in a place that size.

  There were only two burly guys on door, one of whom recognized me. So, turning on my public image, I slapped his shoulder and eagerly shook his hand, telling him what a great job they did, and that guys like me depended on them to keep us safe.

  Putty in my hands after that, and he’s showing me where to go backstage and thanking me for spending the time of day with him, and promising to get the album come payday.

  Standing in the darkness in the folds of the curtains surrounding the back, I was trying to figure out how to get her alone. Someone up there must have intervened because rolling toward me was a bangle that had fallen off of Lily’s wrist.

  Bending down to pick it up right in front of me in the dark, when she began to stand I stroked her cheek and was prepared to shush her, but she sensed it was me and made no sound. Chemistry running between us, the air was thick, and I heard her inhale deeply.

  Leaning in I took her in a kiss so hungry and full of the passion I’d been bottling up for months. Moaning and sagging, Lily was kissing me back, meeting me with the same feeling in her kiss as I was showing her. Hands running through my hair, pulling it, her fingers opening and clenching as her need for me grew. Lifting her up, sliding her up the hard length of my body until she wrapped her legs around my waist.

  Taking her ass cheeks in my hands, I massaged them, pulling her tighter to me, grinding against her. Our senses totally focused on feel, taste, touch, and hearing the sound effects our bodies were making as each sense connected with another.

  “Oh, Lily, I lov
e you, I’ve missed you so much. I need you to breathe. Did you feel that? Do you feel this?” My mouth traced kisses on her neck, and she shivered.

  The beat of my heart was never as strong as right then and for the first time in a long time I felt completely alive. Taking her hand in mine I placed it over my heart and placed my hand over hers. “We will never be done, Lily, not as long as we do this to each other. Not, as long as there’s breath in my body.” Despite the fucked-up situation between us, our hearts were perfectly in time. It was undeniable there was love with every beat.

  “Lily, are you over there?” Lily tensed, and I gripped her tightly. I wasn’t ready to let her go.

  “Yeah, I’m just talking to someone, I’ll be right there,” she called back. Sliding her down my body and placing her back on her feet, I pulled her tight to me, my hands gliding around to settle on her fabulous ass and pulling her closer.

  “We need to talk. I’ll wait for you when you’re done tonight,” I whispered.

  “Alfie, Zack’s out front waiting for me.” Fuck him.

  “You need to tell the poor guy he’s wasting his time, it’s us or nothing for you, Lily. I can feel it. Being with me is your only option.”

  The guy in the band came back looking for her again, and I let her go, but we were far from finished our conversation.

  Lily left the club alone, and I watched her head home. Once I had given her time to settle I called her. She answered, and I never gave her the chance to speak.

  “Hey, I’m downstairs. I’m coming up, is that okay?”

  Without hesitation, she answered, “Yes.” That one word meant everything to me.

  Knocking on the door softly, I heard the latch click and as soon as I saw the crack of light from inside I was pushing her back, spinning her around and walking her back swiftly against the door.

  Lifting her legs, they automatically wrapped around my waist as Lily clung tightly to me. Conscious I was rocking into her, my dick was straining hard against her body, letting her know exactly what she did for me.

  “Oh, God,” Lily moaned, and I drew a sharp breath and the eroticism of those two words. I could hardly kiss her for growling such was my need for her.

  “Fuck, you’re killing me.” I grinded the sentence out and the pain in my voice was plain to hear. Lily’s body shuddered when I bent to kiss her collarbone, and I chuckled softly.

  “You’re so fucking responsive to my touch. How can we not be together?” I murmured. Facing each other we stared into one another’s eyes.

  “You’re mine, no more games, no more anger, nothing between us, Lily. If I have to spend another minute thinking about you in the arms of someone else, I’d rather die right here.” Staring into her eyes, her eyes staring back at mine. Stepping back, I released my grip,

  “We are going to do this, Lily, but we’re going to do this properly this time. Will you go out a date with me?”

  Lily smirked, “Don’t you think we’re way past that, Alfie?”

  Shaking my head, I didn’t think so, “No, I think we never actually began at the beginning, Lily. I get it that I have a lot to prove to you.”

  “Is there any point Alfie? You’re going to be in London, and I’m going to be here. I have college and the band…”

  Placing my finger to her lips, I silenced her, “Stop! I’m not hearing any of this right now. This is about you and me.” Shaking my head, I placed my hand first on her chest, then on mine, to drive my point home.

  “We’ve spent the whole year with barriers between us. I wanted to claim you from the moment I saw you, and this time, nothing is going to stop me from being with you. Everything else is incidental Lily. It doesn’t matter. Music. The band. Nothing.”

  “Jack and Elle are coming tomorrow, Alfie.”

  “I said nothing is coming…. If they love you, they won’t care that you’re with me, as long as you’re happy, right?”

  Pulling her close, I lifted her chin. “I love you, Lily. If it takes ‘hearts and flowers’ to keep you, then I’m all in.” Smiling at admitting that, I kissed her gently.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow.” I began moving toward her door.

  “You’re leaving?”

  Smirking I asked, “Do you normally put out before you date?”

  Smiling she said, “Not at all.”

  “Exactly! So I’ll have you when I earn you, so I need to be fearless. By the time I’m done, Lily, you will beg me to take you,” I said, grinning, and wiggled my brows

  Still smiling at her, I said, “See you tomorrow.” What it took to leave, when my body was screaming so badly for her, I can’t begin to describe. As soon as the door closed I leaned my head against it, proud that I had put Lily’s needs before my own.

  Chapter 42 – Dancing With A Difference

  Too excited to sleep, I wandered around Walmart, and it was great. Empty at three in the morning, so apart from a couple of autographs, I bought what I needed in peace. I called the Fresh Market and begged to buy some Calla Lilies.

  Never felt the need to be romantic with a woman before, not until Lily, and I was trying to be everything she needed me to be. Once I had finished all my preparations, driven to Lily’s, and left her apartment, I sent her two texts.

  SEXPERT: Good morning, beautiful: kiss emoticon x

  SEXPERT: Hello gorgeous lady, would you do me the honor of coming out on a date with me this evening. Before you say it, your friends can come too. I’ll just have to be ingenious in finding a way to spend a little alone time with you.

  Pink Lady: sure I’ll go out with you and my friends. Safety in numbers, right? Remember, I never put out on the first date, and you’re paying. Where are you taking me?

  SEXPERT: I thought that you might as well find out about my cringe- worthy side sooner rather than later. We’re going dancing, and there is live entertainment.

  I couldn’t wait to see Lily’s face when she realized what I had in mind for us.

  SEXPERT: Be ready at 6:45pm I want a long evening with you.

  Pink Lady: looking forward to it.

  SEXPERT: Okay, now the date is organized. I guess I have to make up for lost time during this past year. I once promised you breakfast at mine, and as tasty as it was, it wasn’t perhaps very calorific. Check out your front door. I had left a silver tray complete with a Calla Lily, a glass of orange juice, pancakes and maple syrup, fruit and some toast.

  The Calla Lily placed on the tray signified beauty and purity. Lily once told me she was named after it.

  Pink Lady: Thank you for my delicious breakfast, I love it, you even remembered the maple syrup. <3

  SEXPERT: Lily you and maple syrup are now my newest fantasy, glad you love it, I love you. <3

  Closing my cell I knew she hadn’t found the note I’d written for her yet, I hoped she liked what I had to say.

  To my beautiful, incredible, amazing girl who holds my heart.

  Today my life is perfect. Thank you, darling, for giving me another chance. I won’t squander it, I promise. I love you too much to ever let you go again. I will try with all of my heart never to let you down in the future. You make the sun shine brighter, music sound sweeter, my heart feel fuller. I could never do justice to how I feel about you or the love I have for you, by trying to express those feelings in words. I need you to breathe. You are like pure oxygen to me. When I touch you we are amazingly connected. I think somehow my feelings radiate throughout your body. Your feelings ignite mine. You once gave me the perfect lyric for my favorite song, Music is the sound of feelings. I hope when I next play for you, you’ll listen to my feelings for you. Until then know you have my heart, my body, my soul, all that I am. I am yours, and you are mine, always and forever. I love you, the words are hollow and nowhere near what I want to convey to you, Lily, but I will do whatever it takes to be everything you need.

  Alfie X

  Arriving at six forty in the evening as arranged, Jack smirked when he opened the door, then winked at me. Jack’s eyes dro
pped to my groin, then flicked up at me and smirked again.

  Scowling at Jack, I looked at Lily knowing there was a quip coming from Jack, “Did this dude just check out my package, honey?”

  Jack smirked, “So…which is missing the jewels or the glitter?” Lily grinned and smacked him on the arm.

  “Behave!” For a moment I wondered if Lily had told him about my apa piercing, but from his jewel comment I knew that wasn’t the case. “Glitter, Jack, no need for glitter when you have what I have in my pants.”

  Elle came out of the bedroom, looking stunning.

  “Is there any chance we can talk about something other than Alfie’s cock? I haven’t had any since the last time I was here.” That wasn’t true, she’d been to see Drew, but was obviously not sharing that with Lily.

  Jack and Lily stared at each other and shouted in unison. “Cody! When?”

  Elle raised her eyebrow at Lily, “Um… which time are we talking about?”

  Lily’s mouth was in a silent scream. “There was more than once?”

  Elle grinned. “I’m a dancer, Lily, of course there was more than once.” Like that was supposed to answer her question.

  Jack’s and my eyes widened, and I could tell we had both had the same thought about how bendy she was. Clearing my throat while Jack tried to recover, I said, “Okay, let’s go.”

  Driving us to a bar off the beaten track, Lily’s voice sounded puzzled when we pulled into the packed out car lot. “This doesn’t look like a club, Alfie.”

  “Who said anything about going to a club?” She twisted her mouth at me, and I grinned then chuckled. This was a good game.

  “Oh, you mean the dancing and live entertainment thing, right?” I commented, pretending I had no clue what she meant about my text.

  “Right.” She stared back at me.

  “C’mere.” I said wrapping arm around her waist. “Get ready, I’m about to woo you, Lily.”

  Lily smiled, chuckled, and then outright laughed at me. “Woo? Does anyone even say that anymore?”