by Lucy Gage
He shook his head at her as he unbuttoned her shirt. “You were always in control with me. You know that.”
“Was I?” she asked, seeming genuinely surprised.
Liam brought his hands up to cup her face. He whispered, “From the beginning.”
“Earlier, were you thinking about us at the beginning?” She touched his cheek.
“Yeah. Why didn’t I go with my gut, Jenna? Why was I so scared of how I felt about you then?”
“I don’t know, Liam. Why didn’t I push you harder to commit to me? We were both afraid. Are you afraid now?”
“No. Not anymore. I need you. I love you. I know I can’t live without you. Are you afraid?”
“No. I was scared when I walked onto that deck earlier today. Afraid you’d reject me or the baby or both of us. I’m not anymore. I’m ready to be your wife. You still want that?”
She traced her fingers lightly over his scar.
His breath hitched. “More than anything. Will you love me, no matter what?”
“Of course. I told you, Liam, I know you had a past that wasn’t pretty. I’m sure there are things you can’t even tell me. I won’t love you less because of that.”
“Okay.” He furrowed his brow and sat down on the bed.
“Do you need to tell me something?” She touched his cheek again.
“I need to tell you all of it. The stuff that isn’t classified, at least. I can’t tell you what happened when I got shot.”
“No, I don’t imagine you can. I suppose if I really wanted to know I could hack into the CIA.”
Liam looked at her like she was crazy. “What?”
“I’m kidding. Sort of. I mean, I won’t do it. But I could.”
“Jesus, Jenna. Rob wasn’t kidding when he said you could have worked at Langley.”
She laughed as she sat next to him and rubbed his shoulders. “No, he wasn’t. I don’t want to be obligated to them. I like doing my own thing. I especially like when that includes you.”
He rubbed her leg. “I want to get this out, first. Is that okay?”
“Whatever you need.”
Chapter 31
Liam and Jenna were laying, side by side, facing each other on the bed while he told her his story, about his father’s affair, finding Mary Sarah’s baby, why he went to MSU, why he chose the CIA, what happened with Mia, meeting Reggie and Ally, how things ended with Dana and with the other two women. He hadn’t shared that much about his life with anyone in more than ten years, since Mia.
Jenna listened as he talked, occasionally touched his face or held his hand, her expressions telling him she was sympathetic and sometimes, that she wasn’t surprised. Given that he now knew about her friendship with Mary Cate, he suspected his sister had told her at least some of the family history. She looked like she wanted to ask a question, and with all that he’d told her, he could only imagine what it would be.
“You have questions?”
“Only one. Why was I different?”
“I don’t know, Jenna. You just were. Once I started talking to you, I didn’t want to stop. Then when we kissed in that parking lot, all I could think was that I wanted to wake up next to you. Every time I turned around, I wanted to break the rules I’d set for myself. I hadn’t let myself feel anything for years, if ever. I think, even before Langley, I was trying not to get attached to anyone. With you, I couldn’t help it. I was attached to you almost as soon as you walked down that path to talk to Rob on the beach. I could hear you laughing and I wanted to keep hearing your voice. The physical connection made it impossible for me to ignore how I liked you instantly. My gut kept telling me to trust you, to let you in, but I was terrified.”
“Is that why you told me not to wait for you?”
Liam swallowed. “Yeah. I wanted you to wait, but I loved you too much to ask you to do it when I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready to let you in fully. That I could be the man you deserved.”
“What changed last winter?”
“A bunch of things. For one, I watched Rob and Emily, and I kept wishing that I’d tried harder for you. The more time I spent with them, the more I realized that I should have made a bigger effort to see you over the years. When my other relationships died natural deaths, it seemed like a sign. I was so happy when Em said we were going to L.A. and she’d invited you to dinner.”
“I couldn’t wait to see you that night. I’d missed you and I wanted so badly to be alone with you.”
“Well, no wonder you were all hot and bothered after I kissed you, then. I was thinking the same thing. I’m so sorry I didn’t call you, Jenna.” Tears sprang to Liam’s eyes.
“We can’t change it. I could have called you, too. I just felt so…rejected. And I was too proud to beg you to come back.”
“I wasn’t gone. I was just waiting to get back to L.A. to see you again.”
“What changed when you met Nina?”
“Nothing. Nothing changed except that I was lonely and I’d thought you’d met someone new. She was nice, she liked me, and I acted like a real adult with her. You have to know that I’d never, ever have even spoken to her if I’d thought you still loved me.”
“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you sooner. Reggie told me in the spring that she saw you. She said you were still in love with me, but I was too afraid to call you. I though that you’d reject me, think I got pregnant on purpose or that you wouldn’t believe this was your baby. And I couldn’t handle that.”
“Do you still love me? Do you still want to marry me?”
“You mean after telling me your story? Of course I still love you and want to marry you. As long as you’re marrying me because you love me, not because you think you should.”
“No. It’s not because I think I should. I love you more than life. I’ve always loved you that much, from the beginning.” He caressed her cheek, brushing her hair from her face.
She gave him a half smile. “I like it when you do that. It makes me feel treasured.”
“You are treasured. I’m a fool for not asking you to spend your life with me when I left L.A. that first time.”
She grabbed his hand and placed it on her belly. The baby kicked. “I think he’s in agreement. You were a fool. But you’re my fool, and I love you. Don’t leave me ever again, promise? Don’t forget about me because we’re apart.”
“I promise.” Her comment reminded him of something. “Hey, I have a question for you.”
She raised her brows, curious.
“When did you make those videos?”
The blush was adorable. Nothing sexual usually embarrassed her. He’d always loved that about her. It was sweet to see her discombobulated about making the videos.
“I didn’t think you’d ever found them. You never called. Actually, that’s part of why I thought you’d changed your mind about being exclusive, because you didn’t call me, even though I’d given you a good excuse to do it.”
“I didn’t find them until a few weeks ago.”
“When you were already seeing Nina.”
“Yeah. If I’d found the first one a minute before I met her, I’d never have talked to her at that wedding. That video was…”
“Disgusting?” she asked, face in a grimace.
“What? No! Are you kidding? What guy doesn’t want his girlfriend leaving him things like that?”
“I wasn’t really your girlfriend anymore by then.”
“You were when you made it.”
“Yes. The first one I made after we met, before you left L.A.”
“And you made the second one last year when you stayed at my condo.” She nodded. “I wasn’t sure if I loved you or hated you for associating my favorite Stones song with you being naked and pleasuring yourself.”
“Did it make you think of me when you heard the song?”
“You could say that. Now my cock stiffens when I hear it.”
She grinned. “That was the plan. Did you keep them?”
“Yeah.
I couldn’t imagine how I’d ever find the nerve to call you and ask for the password since I hadn’t spoken to you in six months, even though I’d said I loved you the last time I saw you.”
“Now you’ll have them for when we’re apart. You planning to call me when you’re away?”
Liam laughed. “Are you kidding? I’ll be calling and sexting you every time we’re apart.”
Jenna smiled. “Good. I miss you so much when you’re gone.”
“I don’t know why I never asked you to come with me.”
“Too chicken. That would have been admitting you wanted more than a hookup when you were in town, even though I always believed that was true, anyway.”
“Always. Your parents on board with us getting married?”
“I swear. My mom wanted to come early so she can meet you before the wedding. She’s been saying I should call you from the beginning, and Daddy has been scolding me for not calling you since he found out I was pregnant. What about you? How did it go with your phone calls?”
“My parents reacted the way I expected, which was to warn me against marrying for the sake of the baby.”
Jenna nodded that she understood.
“They’re both coming, though Ma wasn’t impressed that I said Peggy was invited if she wanted to come. Almost fifteen years later and she’s still not really over it. I think she still loves him.”
“I get that. I hope I’m never in her shoes…”
“No. Never.”
“So, you have a twin…”
“Yeah.”
His face giving away nothing. He wanted her to confess that she knew Mary Cate on her own. She’d likely kept it to herself before because she wanted him to be more open, to tell her all the things he’d admitted tonight on his own. Little did she know that he’d have probably committed sooner if she’d let him – or at least let Mary Cate – know the connection. No way would his sister have put up with his bullshit when it came to her best friend.
“I have to tell you something. Promise you won’t be mad?”
“I promise.” He grazed his lips over hers to let her know he was right there, not going anywhere.
She sighed. “Mary Cate was my best friend in college.”
“Was she?”
“Don’t pretend she didn’t tell you. She already called me. But since you didn’t mention it, I thought I should tell you myself. It’s only fair, since you told me the rest.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“I wanted you to confide in me, Liam. I knew once you did that it meant you trusted me and loved me. If I’m honest, I actually expected you to tell me your history before you ever said you loved me. I was waiting for that to be the sign to push for more.”
“Well, now you don’t have to push. I want it all.”
She touched his cheek. “I know. At least now you don’t have to worry about whether or not Catie will like me.”
He laughed. “No, I don’t. She used to try to get me to come home and meet you every single time I talked to her. I thought it was her way of saying that she wanted me to come home more.”
“That too. But she really did want to introduce us. She always said she thought we’d be good together.”
“Great. Now she’s never going to let me live it down that she was right.”
Jenna smiled. “I don’t mind that she was right.”
“She’s going to insist I listen to her for the rest of my life.”
“You’re a big boy. You can handle it.”
“Oh, no. I’m in trouble. You’re on her team.”
He grinned, loving that she was on Mary Cate’s team. When he thought about what they’d said before college, how he’d have to marry a girl who would let Mary Cate live with them, he laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. Just ridiculously happy right now. I’d have married you anyway, but to know that you already fit in my family is a gift. So, have you met Lila Beth?”
“Once. I was in Boston for a charity benefit and I met her then. Tony made it pretty hard for me and Catie to stay close.”
“He doesn’t like you?”
“I know him. I knew him before they met. I don’t like him.”
“Ah, so my gut was right. He is a sleazy bastard.”
“You don’t know the half of it.”
“If she didn’t love him, I’d never have let her marry him. He’s lucky I was in training when he proposed or else I’d have cut it off before they had an elaborate wedding planned. But she’d insisted.”
“Yeah. She’s pretty stubborn. Which one of your parents do you get that from?”
He smiled. “My Ma. You met her?”
“Just once. I don’t know if she remembers me.”
“She’ll love you. So, you gonna tell me all your secrets, too?”
“I don’t have secrets…” she said, feigning innocence.
Liam shook his head, grinning. “I find that hard to believe.”
“You need to know them before we’re married? Or can I make myself mysterious and parcel them over time?”
“I like the over time idea. As long as you’re not hiding a previous marriage or a long-lost child. Or time in prison.”
Jenna laughed. He loved her laugh.
“None of the above. This will be my first marriage, my first baby and I didn’t even do time in juvie like you did. Though, I’ve done a lot of things that could have gotten me thrown in jail.”
“Petty crime? Steal nail polish like Mary Cate?”
She laughed. “No. You know what I do for a living. Which means you know what I’m capable of doing. Or you think you do. Imagine the trouble I could have caused…”
“I see. And you’re going to tell me all about it?” He peeled her shirt from her shoulder and placed wet kisses all along her skin. His lips traveled the column of her neck until he arrived at her ear. “What do I have to do to get you to spill all your secrets to me?” he murmured.
“Oh,” she breathed, “you could get me to tell you anything. All you have to do is touch me and I’m putty in your hands.”
Liam laughed. “Is that so?” He slid his hand into her pants. She moaned agreement. “So, if I want you to talk, I just have to do this?” he asked, as he rubbed her.
“For that, I’ll tell you anything you want to know. You can get me to talk by kissing me.”
He kissed her, tongues dancing as he moved his fingers inside her. She was wet and trying to ride his fingers, which always meant she was ready for him.
“I want to make love to you again, Jenna.”
“Stop asking, start doing. Help me out of these clothes. Then take yours off. I want to watch you strip.”
“You really are easily aroused these days, aren’t you?”
“Damn straight. It’s nice to know I don’t need my vibrator.”
“Did you bring it?” Liam asked as he pulled off her pants and panties.
“No. I left it at home,” she breathed.
“Confident?” he questioned as he removed her bra.
“Hopeful.” She was lying there, completely naked, her swollen belly a beautiful extension of her still-gorgeous body. He looked at her lovingly as he slowly removed his pants and his boxers. She sighed her appreciation.
Liam shook his head. “I don’t know what it is you see in me.”
“My future. Now get over here and show me what else you can do to make me talk…”
Chapter 32
The next day, they were swept into the preparations, and after a while, Liam noticed that Jenna looked tired. At one point, he saw her talking to Rob, alone, holding her belly.
“I’m fine, hon. It’s just Braxton Hicks. False labor pains. They happen at this stage.”
“Honey, I don’t want you to take chances with the baby. If you need to go to the hospital, we can put off the ceremony.”
“And have your wife hate me for the rest of my life? I don’t think so. I’ll be fine. It’s nothing.”
“Anything changes, at any point, you tell me.”
“I’m not your responsibility anymore.”
Rob touched her cheek. “You’ll always be my responsibility.”
Jenna leaned into his hand. “Stop worrying.”
“I can’t. You know that.”
They stood there for a moment and Liam felt uneasy, as though his gut was telling him something. He decided he should make himself known.
“Hey, baby. Everything okay?”
Rob’s hand dropped. “She says she’s fine, but I don’t believe her.” He looked at Jenna. “Why don’t you tell your fiancé what I just saw.”
“It’s nothing,” Jenna looked at Liam. “Rob is overreacting.”
“You clutching your belly isn’t nothing.” Rob looked at Liam. “Don’t let her overdo it. And make sure she gets some rest.”
“Yes, Daddy,” Jenna said with a scowl. “I need a babysitter.”
“Not like you’re listening to me on your own. Someone has to keep track of you. I need to go upstairs before Christopher kicks my ass.” He kissed Jenna on the cheek. “I mean it. Get some rest.”
They watched Rob leave the room and Liam turned to Jenna. “What was that all about?”
“I told you, he’s making a big deal out of nothing. It’s just false labor pains.”
“You’re in labor?”
Panic shot through him. It was too early for that. She couldn’t be in labor yet.
“No. Braxton Hicks mimics labor pains, but they don’t make things happen. I’m not having the baby today. I’m six weeks away.”
“Still, I think he’s right. Go to our room and rest. I’ll let you know when it’s time to get ready. Okay? Do it for me? Please?”
Jenna grumbled, but she listened, waddling toward the stairs.
Feeling uneasy, knowing that something wasn’t right in his gut, Liam went to the beach to collect himself. Rob and Em didn’t need him panicking about Jenna and the baby right now, but he couldn’t shake the sense that something was off. Whether it was the weird vibe he’d gotten from Jenna and Rob or the fact that his fiancé was having labor pains – false or not – he couldn’t say.
He and Nina had successfully avoided each other most of the day, but he was skipping stones on the beach, when he heard someone approaching. He turned, and there she was. A little ache formed in his chest. Just a day or so ago, he’d have grinned ear to ear at the sight of her, the flames of her hair whipping in the breeze. He hated what he’d done to her, hated it even more when she gave him a small smile.
