On Equal Terms

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On Equal Terms Page 5

by Catherine O'Connor


  ‘Hi, Howard,’ he said cheerfully. ‘No, she’s fine—same as usual,’ he told Kate’s father, his voice ringing with complete assurance. Kate listened in disbelief. She had changed—why couldn’t he see it? Why did he refuse to acknowledge the change in her? she thought furiously as she tried to fathom a reason.

  ‘Yes, she’ll be out there by the end of next week. Everything is ticking over. Should be signing contracts with the Duplas Co-operative, but that’s not your concern. Yes, that’s right.’ They talked a little more then Sebastian said, ‘Goodbye, Howard.’ He replaced the telephone and turned to face the look of fury that was etched on Kate’s face.

  ‘Why did you snatch the phone from me?’ she demanded, her voice tight with controlled anger. She had so much to say, so much to tell her father, but he had robbed her of that chance. She had to know why her father hadn’t replied to her letters, and that she was now truly forgiven.

  ‘Because you were getting over-emotional,’ Sebastian informed her crisply.

  Kate found that his patronising tone only gave further fuel to her already mounting temper.

  ‘How dare you?’ she spluttered. ‘There’s nothing wrong with emotion. We can’t all be as cold-hearted as you,’ she spat at him as she drew herself up to face him.

  Sebastian took a step closer to the bed and Kate could feel her anger draining away.

  ‘Don’t underestimate me, Kate,’ he warned her softly. ‘Your outburst of emotion may have fooled a frail, ageing man but not me,’ he grated nastily.

  ‘What do you mean by that?’ Kate protested, her voice shrill with indignation. She hated the insinuation in his words and tone.

  ‘God, you’re good,’ he mocked, studying her with a cold intelligence. ‘Very good,’ he crooned. Kate mentally stood her ground. She was not going to be intimidated by him, she told herself repeatedly. ‘If I didn’t know you better, Kate, you could even fool me with your act of injured outrage.’ He raised his hand with deliberate slowness and touched her lips with his strong thumb, stroking it across her mouth. ‘But I do know you, Kate. I know all your little games,’ he said, shaking his head as if to know her was a mistake indeed. Kate stared up at him, her innocent eyes round, as she struggled to understand the source of his bitterness. ‘How clever you are at acting a part…’ he said. But Kate was not going to remain silent forever. Her sense of pride came to her rescue, and she denied his opinion strongly.

  ‘You’re wrong, Sebastian,’ she protested hotly, but even as she did so she knew it was pointless. He had a set idea of who she was and nothing was going to change that.

  ‘Am I?’ An odd smile touched his lips as his eyes refused to relinquish the hold they had over her. ‘I doubt that I haven’t worked out just what you’re hoping to achieve by this penitent role, but I’ll give you fair warning that if you do anything to jeopardise Howard’s health you’ll certainly pay for it’ He made no attempt to disguise the threat.

  Kate turned her head away.

  ‘I’m so glad we understand each other, Kate,’ he observed, then turned on his heel and left the room. Kate expelled a huge breath. She had not been aware of how wound up she felt till he had finally gone and now her whole body sagged with relief. She picked up the telephone again. She had to phone Terry, to explain what was happening. He proved to be very understanding, giving her as much time off as she required, and he suggested she visit the Mombasa office while she was away. Kate gladly agreed and replaced the phone with a smile that faded as Sebastian re-entered the room.

  ‘Who were you phoning?’ he asked suspiciously, viewing Kate intently, mistrust flaring in his eyes.

  ‘Terry,’ she replied airily, noting the play of emotions that scurried over Sebastian’s face. ‘I needed to speak to him to tell him what was happening.’

  ‘I see,’ was the curt response, and Kate could see that he disapproved of Terry.

  ‘Does Daddy still make generous donations to charity?’ Kate asked casually enough. She knew what an impact even a small amount could make. The amounts her father donated in the past could change a community in Africa completely. When her father was fitter, she was determined to get him interested in at least one of her projects.

  ‘Why?’ enquired Sebastian dubiously, his stance stiffening slightly as he searched for the reason for her assumed interest. She had always been too self-centred to take an interest in any charity.

  ‘I’ve a charity he might be interested in,’ she said cautiously, sensing Sebastian’s doubts. His snort of disbelief confirmed her thoughts.

  ‘Forget it, Kate, there’s no way you’re having any money. All donations are now made through the company, so there’s no way you can just ask Daddy,’ he told her firmly.

  ‘I’ll still ask him,’ she said, not willing to give in so easily. ‘I can be very persuasive,’ she added, with a smile on her face which she knew would infuriate Sebastian. She was sure her father would be interested in the projects her charity was sponsoring.

  ‘Demanding, you mean,’ Sebastian said sharply, and the smile faded instantly from Kate’s face. ‘Still expect to get everything you ask for?’ he added grimly.

  ‘It’s not for me,’ said Kate indignantly, shifting about in the bed uncomfortably.

  ‘No?’ he asked, his eyebrows raising. ‘For Terry, then?’ he added knowingly.

  ‘Sort of…’

  ‘Forget it, Kate; I’m running the company at the moment and I don’t feel very charitable towards anything that involves you,’ he stated. He left the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

  Over the next few days, Sebastian kept his distance. Kate remained in her room, grateful that his company was not forced on her, yet somehow saddened by the situation. The housekeeper brought her all her meals and Kate could see that she was already gaining a few pounds—it was hard not to when such delicious food was being served. She was feeling much better, the bruising had all but disappeared; it merely looked like shadows around the eyes brought on by lack of sleep.

  It came as a surprise to Kate when one morning the housekeeper brought in a neat pile of freshly laundered clothes. She placed them silently on the bed.

  Her loyalty to Sebastian was unquestionable so Kate also remained silent, viewing the clothes with mistrust.

  ‘You can get up today,’ Sebastian informed her crisply from the bedroom doorway.

  ‘Thanks,’ Kate mumbled, carefully avoiding his eyes. There seemed to be little to say to each other any more, as if the years of being apart had made them both forget how close they had been. Now all that was left was a chasm that couldn’t be breached.

  ‘We are going shopping,’ he informed her.

  ‘We?’ echoed Kate, her eyes spinning to his as she tried to decide whether he was joking or not. ‘I’m quite capable of choosing my own clothes without your help,’ she told him frostily, bristling at the implied criticism.

  ‘That point is debatable.’ Sebastian suddenly grinned. ‘However, as your car is a write-off, you’ll need transport—and I’m hardly likely to let you drive my car,’ he added, reminding her of her accident with unnecessary cruelty. However, Kate silently acknowledged the wisdom of that remark; she still was not ready to drive yet, and certainly not a car as large and powerful as Sebastian’s top-of-the-range model.

  ‘Besides, I have a couple of appointments in the City,’ he continued, taking her silence as agreement.

  Though Kate was fuming inwardly at his highhanded attitude, she wasted no time in getting ready. She knew how much Sebastian hated to be kept waiting.

  ‘We’ll go to Marshall Square,’ Sebastian informed her as he drove them into town.

  ‘No! I don’t want to shop there,’ she protested. The square was made up of select designer shops.

  ‘Why not?’ Sebastian queried, a flicker of understanding flashing across his features. ‘Surely you aren’t going to persist in refusing to buy some quality clothing?’ he said wearily, darting her a quick look before the traffic demanded his attention
again.

  ‘Yes…no, it’s not that. It’s just that I no longer feel comfortable in clothes that cost so much. Besides, I like to know where my clothes are made—’ she tried to explain, but Sebastian cut in.

  ‘Come off it, Kate,’ he said, his mouth twisting with scorn. ‘You were always complaining about your allowance. It was never enough. Time and time again you over-spent, and always Howard foolishly gave in to you,’ he reminded her. Kate blushed shamefully as she remembered just how selfish she had been. She could remember quite clearly one day when her credit card bill had arrived. She had well exceeded her limit. Her father had been a little angry, but Kate, in her youthfulness, had been quite unrepentant.

  ‘How on earth have you managed to spend so much in one month?’ her father had asked incredulously, passing the receipt to Sebastian, who had darted Kate a swift glance of anger as she’d just shrugged indifferently.

  ‘This is a huge amount,’ Howard had said, looking at his daughter a little sadly.

  ‘I suppose you resent me spending money, though my own mother would have wanted me to have nice clothes,’ she’d complained, knowing how to make her father feel guilty.

  ‘It’s not that, Kate—’he began, but she immediately cut in, sensing his weakness and playing on it. What a truculent teenager she had been!

  ‘I never hear you complain about Clare’s spending,’ she told him tartly, her lips protruding sulkily.

  ‘My mother doesn’t over-spend by this amount,’ Sebastian said, outraged by her attitude and the insult directed at his mother.

  ‘Mind your own business,’ she snapped back. ‘I needed those things,’ she said dramatically, looking at her father, her eyes pleading. ‘Do you want me to look pretty? To have the same things the other girls have?’ she asked, her voice soft and charming.

  ‘Of course I do, dear,’ answered Howard, unable to resist her sweet, upturned face—and Kate knew it!

  ‘Howard!’ put in Sebastian, seeing the outcome of the conversation. ‘Something has to be done,’ he reminded him.

  ‘I know, I know,’ agreed Howard, then he smiled faintly at his daughter. ‘An increase in allowance will help that.’

  ‘That’s not the solution,’ protested Sebastian, but his objections were drowned under Kate’s squeal of delight and she threw a smile of triumph at Sebastian.

  ‘It suits me,’ she laughed, and that scene had been played out so many times after that. Kate was always the victor. Sebastian, of course, had more than once jumped in.

  ‘I don’t see how this concerns you,’ she would throw at him, hoping to silence him.

  She always failed.

  ‘Well, this amount does! It’s quite ridiculous!’

  But that was all in the past. Kate was no longer like that, despite Sebastian’s opinion. She shifted uncomfortably in the car seat as she recalled the censure that used to cross Sebastian’s face on those occasions.

  ‘No wonder you’re so spoilt,’ he continued, as if it was an afterthought. Kate remained silent. She knew only too well how badly she had behaved but at the time she had felt it was the only way of getting her father’s attention. But that’s how he remembers me, she thought sadly, wondering if Sebastian would ever see the change that time had brought about in her.

  The car came to a smooth halt, jolting Kate out of her dark memories of the past. She mumbled her thanks as she opened the car door, but Sebastian leant across, taking her arm.

  ‘You’d better take this,’ he said abruptly, and he offered Kate a slim black, leather case with gilt corners. For a moment she was puzzled. She flicked open the case to see a series of credit cards and charge accounts for all the most expensive shops.

  ‘I’ve had them all made out in your name,’ Sebastian said impassively as Kate sat staring at the row of cards, feeling unable to accept them. ‘I’m sure that, despite your obvious reluctance,’ he continued, ‘for your father’s sake, you’ll force yourself to buy a new wardrobe.’

  His words stung Kate because she knew she had no real option but to buy some clothes. But wouldn’t that reinforce his low opinion of her? She couldn’t win. Kate held down her annoyance as she knew any outburst would be treated with total disdain.

  ‘Remember, hot though Kenya is, you don’t own a stitch at the moment.’

  ‘And whose fault is that?’ she asked sweetly as she slid from the car. ‘Are you sure you can afford this, Sebastian?’ she jested, waving the cards under his narrowed gaze. ‘You know how much a full wardrobe can cost me.’ She laughed as she closed the car door. Sebastian went on to park the car before joining her.

  ‘Where first?’ he asked. ‘Maybe your hair could do with a trim,’ he said critically, rubbing her split ends between his forefinger and thumb. Kate pulled back, annoyed by his action, and the fact he was right.

  ‘Later; now I want to do some clothes shopping,’ she said firmly, turning from the square and making her way to the arcade. Sebastian frowned as he followed her.

  ‘You’ll be surprised,’ she reassured him as she pushed open the door and headed to the nearest shop. The rows and rows of identical skirts and tops Sebastian viewed with contempt, fingering the cloth with obvious disapproval. Kate ignored him, selecting several skirts and tops, all interchangeable. She then moved on to look at the new summer fashions—brightly coloured T-shirts and shorts and fine summer dresses. Sebastian smiled his approval at a growing pile of clothes that was filling the cash desk.

  ‘Nice to see you haven’t lost your old touch,’ he commented drily as Kate handed over her card to pay.

  ‘The only difference is these clothes cost a fraction of the price designer labels do. They’re just copies. Trust me,’ she added, seeing the doubtful expression on his face. Kate’s feet were aching. Sebastian was laden down with parcels and she knew she still hadn’t bought anything he approved of. He was growing impatient with her. Shopping had never been one of his favourite pastimes, though he was quite fashion-conscious.

  ‘You’ll need some beachwear,’ he told her, taking the lead this time and escorting her up a narrow street of exclusive boutiques. Kate allowed him to open the door of a tiny shop that specialised in the latest American and Australian beachwear. The selection was tremendous and Kate’s attractive and now shapely figure made her able to wear virtually any design. She chose two costumes, holding them up to herself in the mirror.

  ‘Aren’t you going to try them on?’ chided Sebastian teasingly.

  ‘I don’t think that will be necessary—I’m a perfect size twelve,’ she flirted back.

  ‘I think you are,’ Sebastian agreed, his eyes flicking wickedly over her body. Kate turned away and busied herself with paying for the items.

  ‘It’s a pity you won’t see me wearing them, isn’t it?’ she said teasingly as they left the store. Sebastian turned, a look of puzzlement creasing his brow.

  ‘What on earth makes you think I won’t?’ he asked, raking a lock of his hair from his face that a sudden gust of wind had blown out of place. Kate froze. Surely he wasn’t coming to Kenya? He’d spoil everything, and she couldn’t trust herself in his company. She was beginning to realise that he was far too potently attractive for her.

  ‘You’re not coming, are you?’ she asked incredulously, the thought of him seeing her in that skimpy beachwear alarming her.

  ‘But of course. I couldn’t let you travel alone,’ he said, putting Kate firmly in her place and reminding her that he still saw her as a child to be looked after. Kate’s head tilted back defiantly as she confronted the gleam in his piercing blue eyes, sparing him none of the contempt she felt.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  KATE lowered her head as she entered the aircraft. The steward smiled warmly at her, extending his hand in greeting. She smiled, then nudged her way down the aisle, following the steward, unaware of the dark thoughts that passed through Sebastian’s mind. The steward stood back as he pointed to their seats, his eyes resting on the gentle sway of Kate’s hips as she walked down t
he narrow aisle.

  ‘Do you want the window-seat?’ Sebastian said as he took off his jacket and began to fold it up, before giving it to the steward to stow away.

  ‘Thanks,’ Kate readily agreed with a nod, shrugging off her own coat and stiffening as she suddenly became aware of Sebastian’s strong hands helping her. She fought hard to gain her equilibrium.

  ‘You’re looking better,’ he acknowledged. ‘More yourself,’ he added as he sank into the chair next to her, tossing her a careless glance.

  ‘Am I?’ said Kate, trying to keep the swell of happiness from her voice and hating herself for seeking his approval. She held his gaze, waiting for him to answer her, her heart beating with a frantic thud against her chest. There was a glitter of warmth in his eyes as he looked at her, studying her with dark intent.

  ‘You know you are; modesty was never one of your strong points,’ he reminded her. There was a trace of humour in his voice that Kate was immediately aware of, and she tried to respond to it, to lighten the tension between them and make the long journey more bearable.

  ‘If you’ve got it, flaunt it,’ she laughed. She nodded her thanks to the steward as he turned to attend to some other passengers.

  ‘Behave yourself. We can do without a repetition of your adolescent behaviour,’ Sebastian drawled.

  His words were like a hard slap and Kate inwardly recoiled. She rested her head back on her seat, closing her eyes. She felt hollow-empty. It seemed that nothing she could do would make up for the past. She had been a fool, she knew that; for example, the series of unsuitable boyfriends she had had were all a desperate attempt to make Sebastian jealous.

  Her mind drifted back in time. She had always loved the weekends when Sebastian was home.

  Matthew had been the first of many boyfriends whom she had deliberately gone out with to goad Sebastian, hoping to arouse his jealousy.

  ‘I don’t want to join you for dinner,’ she had told her parents fiercely, her eyes blazing, one Saturday night.

 

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