by Dahlia Rose
“You don’t have to stay with me. Go out and have fun. I can chill and watch TV, since there is not one measly book to be seen in this place,” Hawke pointed out.
“Yeah, I could, but then I would miss your sunny disposition,” Jensen teased.
Jensen answered the door when a knock came, but instead of a delivery man on the other side, a woman stomped in with fire in her eyes. Her hair was a short pixie cut that framed her face. Her skin was the color of dark chocolate and her makeup was immaculate. The heels she wore had to make her around five-eight but with them off, Hawke assessed she would be about five-three. He saw Jenson look at her with interest as his blue eyes assessed her from head to toe.
“Where’s Hawke?” she asked.
“Depends on who is asking,” Jensen said good-naturedly.
“Joslyn Moore, reporter. Let’s get that out of the way and on the table,” she snapped. “But right now, I’m Tiana’s friend and that guy sitting over there sucks eggs.”
Hawke stood. “You’re the person who set her up to infiltrate my home.”
Joslyn rolled her eyes. “Oh, please, you’re not in an embassy somewhere or in freaking witness protection, so stop the crap. You want to play the elusive artist? Good for you, but when you hurt my friend and call her a gold digging whore and offer to pay for her services, you’re lucky I don’t take off these shoes and beat you like a gorilla.”
“I like you, tiny gorilla,” Jenson laughed. “I’m Jenson Kingsley.”
She shook his hand. “Nice to meet you. Tell your friend he’s an asshole. Tiana is one of the sweetest people in the world and he mind fucked her as well as…well, you know.”
“I told him that. He’s stubborn,” Jenson said.
“Both of you can stop acting like I’m not in the room,” Hawke snapped. “If Tiana is such a good person how come she came out to do your dirty work? Oh, and now it seems you’re here doing hers.”
“Because she’s a good friend and because I, ashamedly, used her to try and further my career,” Joslyn answered. “She doesn’t know I’m here. I haven’t spoken to her in weeks, except for when she told me that I always got what I wanted and that I was right that no guy wants a girl like her. I’m a bitch and have to make it up to her and do right by her.” She pointed at Hawke. “But you broke her heart, and the problem is that she’s so strong she won’t say a word. She won’t try to contact you and if she saw you walking down the street she’d cross to the other side to give you the space you asked for. I may have been an awful friend, but you have been an awful and judgmental son of a bitch. If you’ve never done one single wrong in your life then you are the epitome of goodness, but if you have then how dare you throw stones at anyone’s fucking glass house.”
Hawke stood silent as he listened to Joslyn, assessing everything she said and then spoke. “She broke my trust. That’s hard to forgive.”
Joslyn shook her head. “Then you will lose the only woman who would love you just because you’re you. She doesn’t care about your money or prestige. It wouldn’t change her in any possible way. So go ahead and pretend that you’re not missing her. But know this, a woman like Tiana will find a guy who will treasure her and it’s a pity it won’t be you.” She turned to Jensen. “I’m sorry for barging into your home, nice to meet you.”
“The pleasure is all mine, trust me,” Jensen drawled.
They were silent as she walked out and closed the door behind her.
“You can roll your tongue back into your head now,” Hawke said dryly.
“She told you.” Jensen laughed. “Hey, I can look and drool if I want. I like her fire. Joslyn Moore, hmm.”
“I know that ‘hmm.’ You’re on the prowl,” Hawke said.
Jensen looked at him. “And you’re losing the woman you know is right for you. Don’t be stupid and let that happen. Hawke, I love you like a brother. I want to see you happy, but right now you’re being an ass.”
“Thanks, you make me feel so special,” Hawke said sarcastically.
“I’m not here to blow smoke up your ass and call it wind. I’m here to be your friend and be blunt about what I think,” Jensen said. “You didn’t meet me as a yes man so I won’t start now. You’ve got some thinking to do, buddy, and if you lose her, it’s not because of Tiana, it’s because of you. I’m going to check on our food order.”
Jensen walked away and Hawke sat back with a sigh. Shit. His life had become so difficult so quickly and he wished for his peaceful, uncomplicated existence again. But deep down he knew that was a lie because he would not give up one minute of the time he’d spent with Tiana. Was he being an asshole about it? Did he hurt her needlessly because of some misbegotten notion of his privacy? Had he taken his seclusion too far? He had a lot to think about and the only way he could do that fully was to clear his head. He needed to fly.
“Jensen, I’m going out for some air,” he called.
“The normal way or the winged way?” Jensen asked. He walked back into the room, but all he saw was a pile of clothes on the floor and a large hawk perched on the top of his sofa. “I guess the bird way. I’ll leave the window open. Don’t need you flying into it like a sparrow.”
Ha ha, Hawke thought as he flew out the window and took to the sky. He soared past city lights and glided along wind currents while his thoughts were focused on Tiana.
Chapter Six
It took him two days to build up the courage to see Tiana. Two days of watching her from the trees and aching to have her. She wasn’t wearing her hair in a ponytail like when she was at his tree house. No, she wore it in springy curls that softened her face, and she was even more breathtaking than before. He sat in the trees that lined the street to her home and watched as she walked along. Her bag over her shoulder, the warm breeze blew her hair in front of her face, and she shook her head and used her fingers to swipe the strands from her eyes. She wore light blue jeans and a cute white top and white heels to match. A little coral lipstick was on her lips and she wore very little makeup. She didn’t need any. He’d seen her without it and she was just as beautiful.
The guy that walked beside her made him want to attack. He could see in his eyes that he wanted Tiana; he smiled too much and accidentally touched her one too many times as they walked side by side. When they passed by, Hawke took flight and landed in another tree high in the branches so he would be obscured from view. She’s mine, Hawke thought fiercely. You never mess with a predator’s mate. The ache of loss assaulted him. After all he had said even when she apologized, he had no right to call her his. Jensen and even Joslyn were right. He was an ass. Hawke listened intently so as to hear their conversation.
“You’re so quiet lately, Tiana,” the guy said.
“I’m fine, Joel, just been in my head,” she replied.
Joel…I don’t like you, Hawke thought angrily.
“I think you’re sad and I need the best girl in the world to smile.” Joel wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gave a squeeze. Hawke wanted to break his arm. “You hardly come out with us anymore to hear us play. Even the waitress at Shake ‘Ems has noticed you’re missing. Danny orders the chicken fingers just to pretend you’re there.”
Tiana laughed as they stopped in front of her building. “Tell Danny I’ll come next week so his chicken fingers aren’t lonely.”
“Whoever he was is a jackass for giving you up,” Joel said suddenly.
Yes, I know I’m a jackass, Hawke thought. Stop touching her and go away.
“That obvious?” Tiana said with a sad laugh.
Joel hugged her. “Yes, it’s that obvious and it’s fine. We all have suffered a broken heart before. But I tell you what…”
“What?” She looked up at Joel and Hawke remembered being that close to her and feeling like his heart was going to burst.
“It gets better each and every day and then one day, poof, that person is out of your mind and you’re open to new love.” Joel smiled. “Maybe at a time and in a person you least expect.
”
One, she’s never forgetting me because I won’t fucking allow it and, two, I get your game, buddy. Hawke wanted to release an angry cry, but then she’d know he was there. There was no way he was giving her up. No way.
Tiana smiled and nodded. “I hope so. Thanks, Joel. Tell everyone I’ll see them next week.”
“I will. Good night, Ti,” Joel said.
“Good night,” she called and walked up the steps to her building.
It was Hawke’s turn to tell her how he felt, apologize and grovel if he had to because he would not be leaving until Tiana was his again.
* * * *
Tiana’s balcony apartment faced the courtyard of the Camden building. The manicured lawns and the fountain with the white benches always comforted her. Management wanted the residents to see beauty and the flowers and trees were always kept in immaculate condition. She hadn’t been out to enjoy the scenery in days. Joel reminded her that she had a life to live, broken heart or not. She was losing her life and happiness by wallowing in the fact that she and Hawke were no more.
As she stood in her bedroom looking out of the large French doors, her breath caught as her eyes met the stare of a hawk with beautiful brown and red feathers with a white chest and belly perched in the trees above her balcony. Her heart skipped a beat when the hawk spread its wings and she recognized the perfect black and white pattern. Was he really here? Tiana opened the French doors and walked cautiously out onto the balcony.
“Hawke?” Tiana said uncertainly. Hoping to God none of her neighbors saw her talking to a bird.
He flew into the room and shifted as she closed the doors behind her.
“Jeez, Hawke, I’ve only got lace curtains up and you’re bare butt,” she said and pulled a blanket off the bed and threw it at him. “Wrap that around yourself.”
“You’re on the fifth floor. If it wasn’t for my good eyesight, I wouldn’t be able to see you,” Hawke replied and did as she asked. She greedily took in every inch of his rock hard body until he covered himself.
“You’ve been watching me?” she asked warily.
“I needed to see you,” he answered simply.
“Most people ring a doorbell and ask to be invited in, not sit in the trees and then fly into a room,” she pointed out.
“I missed you,” Hawke said huskily.
“Was that before or after I was the gold digging whore who was such a simpleton that she let her friends use her?” Tiana put her hands on her hips and her eyes flashed fire. She gave into the anger that mixed with the hurt because he never gave her a chance. “I was hurt before, but I’m pissed now because I didn’t deserve that.”
“You’re right, you didn’t, and I’m sorry,” Hawke said.
“Why? It’s a month later. Why now?” Tiana said unsympathetically.
“Because…because you’re you,” Hawke answered. “Tiana, I never stopped thinking about you. I flew overhead when you left that day to make sure you got home. My friend Jensen went into your store and bought two dresses for no reason to check up on you.”
“Why, to make sure I wasn’t selling your secret and your life to the tabloids?” she shot at him. “Look at me. There are no reporters following me around with cameras. No news pieces about our illicit tryst in the woods. Nothing about seeing your shift into a hawk, so you’re safe. Tell your friend I hope the dresses fit him.”
“You’re not going to make this easy, are you?” Hawke asked.
She looked at him in disbelief and cried out, “Why should I, Hawke? You cut me to shreds and left my bleeding on the side of the road. I begged, I pleaded and practically fell to my knees telling you how sorry I was and that I wasn’t going to go through with what Joslyn wanted, but your fucking pride and your damn security blanket of oh, poor me, no one understands me, I’m such a lone hawk or wolf or whatever got in the way. Well, it left you blind to what was in front of you.”
“I was hurt before, Tiana, I told you—”
“So I was flayed for both her mistakes and mine?” she asked angrily. “I don’t want you, Hawke, if you look at me and see the woman who betrayed you. I won’t be punished for loving you. I am a wonderful, kind woman who would’ve loved you more than you could possibly imagine. But my friend Joel said something tonight. He said I’ll heal and I’ll get over you, then another man will see me for what I truly am and not as a mistake and he will love me for me.”
Hawke grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her roughly against him. “Will he make your heart race like it is now? Will he make you ache for his touch and make you yearn to be with him?”
Her lips trembled with unshed tears. “Maybe not, but he won’t make me feel like you did. God, you hurt me so badly. Your words were sharp as a knife. I never want to feel that again.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you, baby.” Hawke tried to hug her.
She pulled away and shook her head. “No, don’t call me baby and don’t try to soft soak me. You pointed out quite succinctly how easy it was to use me. I’ve decided to be a grown up and say no to things that are bad for me. You’re like candy, I suppose, and I’ve had the tummy ache. I won’t go back for seconds.”
“Your friend barged into Jensen’s place tonight,” Hawke said. “Joslyn Moore. I assume his assistant gave her the address before he got canned.”
Tiana threw her hands up in the air. “Oh, great. I suppose she had tons of juicy little tidbits about me to share? Just so you know, I haven’t talked to her since I left your place so anything she said was probably made up.”
“She wanted to tell me how much of a dumbass I was for hurting you and to take responsibility for what happened,” Hawke explained.
Tiana gave a short laugh. “Then you really weren’t talking to Jos.”
Hawke stepped closer. “I think she actually cares for you. She says she has to make amends with you and told me that if I didn’t come back to you I’d be losing the best woman in the world and I’m afraid she’s right.”
She wanted to believe him, but Tiana had spent the last four weeks trying hard to convince herself that she was better off without him. After the crying and the self-pity, she got back to work and tried to build on to what she started while trying to forget him. Now, here he was saying all the right things and, God, how she wanted to believe him. But they said once bitten, twice shy, right? How crazy would she be to walk back into the flame even if the fire felt so good against her skin?
It seemed Hawke took her silence as a sign that she was rethinking her choices and this time he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pressed a kiss to her nose and she let him. He nuzzled her neck and she reveled in the sensations while her heart soared. If she did ultimately decide to push him away, how long would it take for her not to love him, to hear a hawk’s cry and not look up in the sky each time wondering if it was him? Falling in love was the easy part, falling out of it seemed to be an eternal struggle.
“Please,” he whispered. “I’m not the best with words or dealing with people, I have no heritage to share with you, and I can be the worst grouch sometimes, but I swear to you, another harsh word will not pass my lips in your direction. I was hurt. I loved you and opened myself to you and then found out about the SAT phone and Joslyn. I wanted so much to believe in you and then I felt betrayed and I lashed out.” He kissed her lips this time and she didn’t stop him. “I’ve thought about you every day and every night since you left. I have missed your taste and your touch. The way you laugh at really gory horror movies and the way you snore at night.”
“I don’t snore,” she objected.
“You do. It’s like a little teddy bear snore.” He gave a soft laugh and ran his hand up and down the bare skin of her arms leaving goose flesh in his wake. “Before you, I’d never say things like ‘little teddy bear.’ Tiana, the simple fact is that I love you and if you make me leave right now I will, but I’d be back each and every night with a rose in my beak until you see just how perfect we are together.”
“I don’t know if I can trust this, Hawke,” Tiana admitted truthfully.
“Then let me win your trust back. Let me love you and all I ask in return is that you love me,” Hawke said. “I’ll get a place in the city and when you’re working I’ll stay here with you, then when you want to work on your designs and want peace and quiet we can go to my house in the woods and make love on the balcony.”
“I never thought I’d hear Hawke say he’d leave his nest, especially for me,” she whispered.
“For you, I’d give up many things. I need your love, Tiana, please don’t take your love from me,” Hawke said brokenly. “You’re my mate. I’m a stubborn fool, but I promise to cherish you for as long as we both live.”
Tiana never had any man say such things to her. They were the balm that eased the ache in her soul, the ache of thinking she’d hurt him so much that she’d never be in his arms again. She’d take the plunge again, one more time because her momma had always said that for every jacket there was the perfect fit. And she knew within herself that he was made just for her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed frantic kisses against his lips. “Make me fly like only you can, Hawke. Take me to the sky and back.”
When Hawke savagely took her lips in a searing kiss, she embraced him hungrily. She remembered each word, how he had said he was addicted to her body and it was like the weeks alone had never passed and they were still at his home. He lifted his head to whisper, “You are so beautiful,” and she could see in his eyes and the hawk’s eyes that he meant every word. He sat on the bed and pulled her between his legs before clicking the bedside lamp off. The darkness was only broke by the soft light coming through lace curtains over the French doors leading to the balcony. With the small amount of light coming in, she could still see him and she knew with his keen hawk’s gaze he could see every inch of her clearly. Hawke slowly undressed her and with each scrap of clothing that fell away she became more breathless with anticipation.
