by Hunter Shea
Several had red, white, and blue dresses, holding tattered flags in hands missing fingers.
“At least they’re patriotic,” Kate joked.
“Salute them bye-bye.”
Down the block was an ice cream shop advertising the best curly fries in town. Kate wondered how many other places were making and selling curly fries in Bridge Mills. Were curly fries a thing in New England? She knew lobster was huge up here. Too bad she refused to eat something that looked like a cockroach from hell.
They drove by a local bank she’d never heard of, a hairdresser’s shop with a barber right next door (I’ll bet it’s the same owner, she thought), a thrift shop, a market simply and aptly called Food Mart, a six-booth diner, a deli, and several antique shops. Kate was not one for old stuff. She’d watched enough paranormal shows to worry that the wares in those places were haunted.
It sounded silly, but it was how she felt. Andrew made fun of her all the time. He believed in ghosts about as much as she believed in the fairy tale of alien abductions.
“You want ice cream?” Andrew said, pulling into the second ice cream shop on Main Street.
“They sure love their ice cream up here.”
“This one has a Grape-Nuts flavor,” he said, getting out and running around to get her door. Buttons scampered over her lap.
“Why would anyone want Grape-Nuts ice cream?” Kate said.
“Because it’s good. And it gives the illusion of health.”
They were the only ones at the shop. A disinterested teen girl wearing a Korn tour hat took their order. Kate had double chocolate chip.
They sat at a picnic bench, watching the town do its thing, which wasn’t much of a thing at all. Only a few cars idled by, with fewer people walking about.
“You wanna try?” he said, angling his cone toward her.
She took a small lick. “It’s like licking sandpaper. When did you ever have Grape-Nuts ice cream?”
“A couple of times when I came in for food and stuff. You don’t like?”
She crinkled her nose. “Yuck.”
“Well, no one will ever make you a food critic. If it’s not one of your five surviving taste buds, it’s yuck.”
She dabbed his face with her ice cream, leaving a stray chocolate chip in the corner of his nose. “And sometimes, it’s just plain old yuck.”
After they finished, he asked if she wanted to go back to the cottage.
“I’d rather stay in the car if you feel like driving around. At least I’ll be able to see the sights.”
“If you love trees, this will be a sightseeing orgy of delight.”
It didn’t take long to leave the town of Bridge Mills in the rearview mirror. Andrew was right: evergreen trees were everywhere. There were scores of others, but Kate was no tree expert. She knew about dogwoods because her grandparents had one in their yard. And pussy willows because they’d sung about them in first grade. That was the extent of her education as an arborist.
She kept the window down, her face turned toward the incoming breeze.
“I’m sleepy,” she said when they turned onto a logging road. A huge truck laden with freshly cut timber rumbled ahead of them. “If I take a nap, will you keep driving?”
“Sure.” He reached across and caressed her cheek. Andrew loved to drive. She always wondered why he hadn’t become a long-distance trucker. He loved that show about the crazy guys who drove big rigs across the ice. Back when they used to travel, he’d worn his trucker hat when he drove, pulling into sketchy trucker stops to get what he called the true flavor of America.
Instead, Andrew had settled for an office job he didn’t like very much. She often wondered if he did it because of her. After all, office jobs had medical benefits.
Cut the guilt crap, she thought. Just enjoy the day.
At the moment, Andrew was happy, and that was all that mattered.
She opened her pill bottle. She stared at the little white pill in her palm. Then she made a fist and closed her eyes. It could wait until they got home. First, a little nap.
When she awoke a short time later with stabbing pains in her chest, struggling to breathe, the idyllic day was officially over. Once again, her spine had turned into the Great Wall of Fire. She flailed in her seat, bolting upright, her eyes bulging out of her head, left hand over the center of her chest while her right pulled her collar from her throat.
I need air! I need air!
Andrew found a hospital on his GPS, flooring the accelerator, holding her hand and trying to be calm, but failing, while telling her to just breathe.
Chapter Eleven
The miracle of chest pains was that you never had to waste a single moment in the ER waiting room. Poor Andrew had been stuck filling out forms and going through the litany of her ailments, surgeries, and medications. Luckily, they had created a document that they stored on their phones for emergencies like this, so he didn’t have to try to do it all from memory.
Kate was kept overnight in a hospital that would pass for a walk-in clinic back home. Andrew slept in the car with Buttons. They were forty miles from the cottage and he didn’t want to leave her. He looked terrible when he came to her room that morning.
“How’s Buttons?”
“I fed him a sandwich from the vending machine. He Dutch-ovened me in the car all night. It’s safe to say he’s feeling more chipper than I am at the moment.” He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hands. “More importantly, how are you feeling?”
She was hooked up to a heart monitor, a couple of IVs dripping fluids in her veins. The beeping of the monitor had kept her up most of the night, despite her exhaustion. Hospitals were not a place to get rest. Kate squeezed his hand. “I’m much better.”
“No more pains?”
“Not since last night.”
She was shocked to learn she hadn’t had a fever when she was admitted. The rippling flames in her back made it feel like she’d been thrown into a bonfire. Thankfully, that had calmed down as much as her heart.
He poured her a cup of water. “You want a drink?”
She looked at one of the IV bags. “I’m so full of fluids, I have to pee every fifteen minutes.”
“What did the doctor say?”
Dr. Pranjeep had taken care of her in the ER, stopping in at six in the morning to check in on her before he headed out for the day. He’d been extremely kind and thorough. He’d never met someone with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome before, like most doctors, and had a lot of questions once they realized she was not having a heart attack. To his credit, he didn’t try to move and dislocate her joints. Kate couldn’t count the number of curious doctors who’d sent her into spasms of agony just to satisfy their inquisitiveness. It was one of a host of reasons she didn’t care much for the profession, despite needing them to keep her alive.
Being sick was one thing. Being sick and a guinea pig was another, and she was done being a guinea pig and a curiosity.
“He’s pretty sure they’ll release me early this afternoon. I didn’t have a heart attack.”
Andrew paled. “Wait. They thought you had a heart attack?”
She patted her pillow so he could lie next to her. They faced one another, noses touching. “When people come in with massive chest pains, yes, that’s what they assume. They didn’t know me from Eve. Turned out to be exactly what I knew it to be, my good friend lupus. My numbers are really high, and we both know what that does to me.”
He kissed the top of her nose. “If you want to know the truth, I thought you were having a heart attack too.”
Smiling, she said, “I assumed from the way you drove. Thank God there weren’t any cops around.”
“They would have had to follow me here.”
“Well, the good news is I’m fine. Or my version of fine. They gave me some stuff to calm the swelling, and I have no
idea what the nurse slipped me before, but I’m beat.”
Andrew ran his fingers through her hair, giving her goose bumps, especially when he grazed the back of her ear. “It has nothing to do with the meds.” He gestured to the window. “The sun is out, so all good vampires need to sleep.”
“Ha-ha.”
It had long been a joke between them that she didn’t have lupus but had, in fact, been bitten by a vampire bat. Ever since her illnesses, her internal clock had gone haywire. True, she did tend to sleep more during the day than at night, often wandering around the house in the dark. No matter what she did to change that, forcing herself to stay up when the sun was out, she went right back to the same old pattern.
Maybe Andrew was right. It would be nice for some super vampire powers to kick in.
“I should probably drink some blood to activate them,” she said.
Andrew looked at her as if she’d just spoken a foreign language. “What the heck was that?”
She covered her mouth, giggling, “Just thinking out loud.”
“I don’t even want to know what goes on in your head.”
“No, you don’t.” Patting his chest, she said, “Now, go outside and get Buttons out of that car. Find a place to eat. I’ll call you when they come in with my discharge papers, and you can whisk me the hell out of here.”
“You sure? I could stay. I’ll find a kid or someone to watch Buttons.”
“Oh yeah, just offer our dog to any kid that comes along. Get out of here and watch our baby.”
He reluctantly got out of the bed.
“Promise you’ll call me the second they tell you you’re free.”
“Cross my heart.”
Andrew chuckled. “Pick a more reliable organ.”
Kate shrugged. “Sorry, I ain’t got one. You’ll just have to trust my poor, enlarged, overtaxed ticker.”
She hated to see him go, wiping away a few silent tears. But it was going to get too hot for Buttons to stay in the car, and Andrew looked like he needed some sustenance before he ended up in the bed next to her.
After turning up the television to drown out the beeps and chirps of the heart monitor, Kate turned onto her side, wishing she had her Mooshy to cuddle.
* * *
Kate was groggy but happy to leave the hospital. They were handed a slew of written instructions about following up with her doctor, who was only three hundred miles away. The most important thing was rest.
“That’s one thing I do well,” Kate said from the wheelchair.
The drive back to the cottage was quiet, Andrew expecting her to say her chest hurt at any moment. Last night had scared him more than he’d let on. It might not have been so bad back home, but up in Maine, where they didn’t know the local hospitals or if there even was one where they’d been at that moment, it was terrifying.
He wanted to carry her inside but she refused.
“I’m not that bad…yet,” she said.
Getting her comfortable in bed, he asked, “You want me to shut the blinds so you can get some sleep?” The bags that were always under her eyes were nearly purple.
“I’ll feel better with them open.”
Buttons had his front paws on the bed, sniffing her face.
“I think someone’s glad to have you home,” Andrew said. “You need something to drink? Something to eat?”
She waved him off. “Just sleep.”
He swiped his book from the kitchen table – an old Elmore Leonard gangster novel – and got a beer from the fridge. “I’ll be in my spot right outside so I can keep an eye on you.”
Holding out her arms to him, she said, “No, stay in here with me until I fall asleep. Please?”
He snuggled beside her with her head on his chest.
“I had a great time yesterday,” she said, yawning.
“Me too. And, bonus, I got to drive the car over ninety miles an hour.”
“That you did.”
He turned on the TV, knowing he was at the right channel when he came upon a black-and-white movie. She loved those black-and-white flicks. It was too bad their lives were muddled in varying shades of gray.
Kate was asleep in minutes, her tiny snores signaling it was safe for him to head to the porch.
The late afternoon sun was obscured by fast-moving clouds. It looked and smelled like rain was heading their way.
Andrew read and drank, trying to calm himself down. For a moment yesterday, he’d thought this was it. The look of pain and terror on her face had nearly sent his heart into palpitations.
I guess I thought by coming up here, we’d escape this shit.
He crushed the can of PBR and went inside for another.
It was foolish to think they could outrun the microscopic killers that lived inside Kate. The rational part of him knew that was impossible.
But was it too much to ask for a tiny break? They only had these three months. After this, he’d be back to the grind and Kate would be on the doctor merry-go-round. There’d be plenty of time for health scares and hospitals.
He’d thought…no, hoped Maine would be different.
Nothing ever was.
Gray clouds scudded overhead, the lake seeming dark and foreboding. The temperature dipped while he drank in frustration. He stared at the dock. The day Kate sat beside him felt as if it had happened years ago.
He’d been so mad at her.
And then he’d worried himself sick that he was going to lose her.
Maybe I should start going back to the shrink when I get home. Jesus, I’m fucked up.
He tried to read but couldn’t concentrate. His arms felt heavy, the stress morphed by the beer into exhaustion.
The patter of a light drizzle woke him up, the soggy book on the porch floor, his fifth beer empty. Slicking his hair back, he grabbed the ruined book and went inside.
Andrew ate a tuna fish sandwich and finished the remaining PBR, watching a comedy because he really needed a laugh. All the while, he stole glances at Kate, Buttons sitting vigil beside her, wondering, if they couldn’t have some peace here, was there any hope for a normal future?
* * *
“Hrrrffff!”
Kate went from dead sleep to wired instantly.
“Buttons, sshhh!” she whispered. It was nighttime, the TV on low, Andrew sleeping beside her. He’d been through the ringer as much as she had and didn’t need Buttons waking him up.
The beagle was curled up on the chair, fast asleep.
Must be chasing cats in his sleep.
The steady trickle of rain plinked on the cottage roof. By the flickering light of the TV, she could see water pooled on the back deck. Andrew had left the kitchen windows open a crack, letting in the petrichor of the passing storm.
Petrichor.
It was one of Kate’s favorite words.
Kate had discovered it during one of her online searches, looking for the perfect way to describe the smell of rain. Little did she know, someone had already invented the strange-sounding word that fully encapsulated the scent of rain soaking into the earth. She liked to impress people with it whenever it rained.
“Hoffff.”
She sat up straighter in bed, glancing at Buttons. That hadn’t sounded like him. In fact, it sounded as if it were coming from the small window over the kitchen sink.
What is that?
It was a cross between an old man clearing his throat and an animal grunt.
Andrew had said he heard a moose outside one morning. The evidence had been all over their car.
Kate muted the TV, ear cocked toward the window, listening.
Below that window was the front porch. If something was that close that she could hear it from across the cottage, that meant it had to be standing on the porch. Tensing, she waited for the creak of the old boards
as whatever was out there moved about.
Stillness.
Her heart whu-thumped, but there was no pain.
Stop getting yourself all wound up. It’s just an animal.
The porch was too narrow for a moose, or so she thought, but there was plenty of room for a bear. Were there bears out here? What about some big cat, like a mountain lion? She made a mental note to do some research on the local wildlife.
Not that it was helping her now.
If there was an animal, Buttons would be awake. He might be old and lazy, but he loved giving at least a half-hearted growl to critters great and small.
The beagle hadn’t moved a muscle.
One hand barely touching Andrew’s shoulder, she held her breath, searching for a sign that they had an intruder on their porch.
Scritch.
It was almost as if someone had picked at the wooden windowsill with the edge of their nail. Or the sound of wood settling. Or her imagination.
It could have been anything, really.
Bad feels, she thought.
She’d woken up with a case of the bad feels, and she was bound to misinterpret any strange sounds. Plus, there was that new sedative the doctor had given her as a parting gift. It could be messing with her.
It didn’t matter.
The bad feels were the bad feels. She lay silently, not daring to so much as shift her weight, eyes darting around the cottage. It was a small relief not to see a shadow peeking at her from some dark corner.
Of course the shadow’s not in here. That’s because it’s out there.
After waiting five long minutes, Kate felt she could get out of bed and check. Shadow or bear or whatever, she refused to lie there worrying, her ignorance making things worse.
She knelt beside Buttons and woke him up. He licked her face, his eyes sleepy.
“Let’s go see the bear, But-But.”
He followed her into the kitchen.
Before looking out the window, she steeled herself.
Was this really what she needed right now? Her chest was beginning to tighten, but not so much as to alarm her. But if she did peek out that window and come face-to-face with a bear, how would it feel then?
