by J. M. Hagan
Jack hung his head from exhaustion. “Ah, the joys of life on-board Europa,” he sighed.
3
Nightmares. Dark, lonesome chills.
An insidious shadow lurked in the darkest corners of her heart.
Siena heard the timbre of his deep, unfeeling voice. A flood of vivid images came with it; she was thrust back to the days when they had trained her. Her arrival, when she had been greeted by Sephrin – the man in charge of their training.
When she lagged behind in the training, having never been through anything of its like before, he choked her so hard he’d almost crushed her windpipe. Then he left her red faced and spitting, eventually spewing.
Then she was in the rec room, surrounded by strangers, some of whom shared her blood. Brothers, sisters – their lifeless eyes fell on her as one.
They crowded around her, some of them burned to a crisp by the fires when they crashed into the surface of Plysar. They reached out, blood dripping from their charred fingers.
The instant she finally convinced herself it was all a dream, a sensation of falling kicked her body into action with a jolt.
Siena shot forward. Then she clasped fists of hair, and examined her surroundings, finding the room dark save for the glow of a distant lamp that streaked the wall with yellow beams of dim light.
She had expected to wake in her bunk back on the asteroid base that had been home for years. I’m safe. I’m on Europa.
She lay back, tried to calm her breathing as she convinced herself of it. Her chest rose and fell slower in time, she relaxed her hands. The sweat cooled on her body, and she thought about her current living arrangement. It was oddly satisfying, the fact that being on this ship, where she was more or less a prisoner, made her feel safe.
She didn’t know of their intentions regarding her. For all she knew, they were going to turn her over to the authorities when they reached Maji-Onda. And I would deserve it…but…I don’t want it to be that way.
Siena curled into a ball and pulled the blankets over her head to create a safe bubble. She prayed for time to pass slower now, if that was what the future held.
She had been fighting against her conditioning, and all the while battling depression. No stims, no alcohol, no pills. She was becoming stronger every day. But always in the dark hours, she contemplated ending it all.
She needed to rebuild herself while she was here, with these decent people.
Cane had been treating her well. Europa watched her night and day, she knew. But Siena hadn’t left her room for anything other than to eat or use the facilities, and she only done so when she knew the Earth crew weren’t around.
For three weeks she had been keeping her distance from everyone, spending her days abed as she reflected on her recent past.
On the day that marked the beginning of the fourth week of their journey, Cane came to see her. Like always, he had Europa announce his impending arrival a few minutes beforehand. Siena got out of bed and had a quick scrub, then changed her clothes.
She was glad she had packed for her journey. She didn’t realise the morning she set out that she would need all of this luggage for anything more than to maintain her cover as an ordinary passenger aboard a civilian ship.
Cane came in just when she was making her bed.
“Ah, so, you’re up and about, I see,” he said, and his dark brown eyes sparkled.
Siena crossed arms at her stomach, leant against the wall. “Good day, Cane,” she greeted him, with genuine gratitude in her tone.
The fact that his visits were always pleasant was helping her spirit to claw its way out from a black pit. He reminded her of something she had known before, but since forgot – there are good people in the galaxies.
She noticed there was a little robot by his feet with a round body and a dozen mechanical legs. Its face was an oval with a blue light in the centre.
“What is that?” Siena gauged, with an inquisitive chuckle.
“An A.R.U.”
“Ah. I didn’t realise, Europa, had automated repair units. This ship has everything from what I’ve seen.”
“Yes, well, they were practical for Venec to have. He was setting out without a full crew. A lot of things can go wrong in space. This little one was helping me repair the service point in the kitchen; it’s been playing up all week, and delivering the wrong goods.”
“How come they weren’t operational before?” she asked.
“Venec, hadn’t finished programing them yet. It was something he was going to do as we travelled to keep himself occupied. As you know, it’s good to have anything to do when you’re out here.”
“I haven’t done much. Except lie in that bed and think…”
Cane shooed away the A.R.U. and it went out the door. “Europa, tells me you’ve been having nightmares,” he said delicately. “Is it something you want to talk about?”
Siena detected the concern in his dark brown eyes and was taken by a slight grin. That brief moment left a warm glow in her chest.
“Why have you been so good to me, Cane?” she asked, welling up. At first, she had been suspicious of his kindness. But no longer – Cane was much too sincere to doubt.
“Everyone deserves a second chance,” he said, his eyes drifting into solemn thought. “Not everyone gets it. You wronged me. But I forgive you. We both know that you weren’t the cause of any real harm. In fact, when you think about it, if it wasn’t for what you did, then we never would’ve learnt of, Vorjool, until it was too late. Your actions, criminal or not, may eventually save billions of lives. You started it all by sparing me that day.”
Siena gulped remembering that moment. She came to Europa on a mission that she thought she believed in. That was until she stared down the barrel of that gun at him, as he lay on the floor in the dark.
Siena couldn’t do it. Cane didn’t deserve to die like that. If I hadn’t talked to you on that bench, gotten to know you a little, pulling that trigger might not have been a problem.
“My nightmares are about my past,” she revealed. “I done something bad when I was young. It just led to me being a part of worse things.”
Cane offered a warm smile. “I told you before that it would take a while before I trusted you,” he said. “Well, I’ve seen enough. I am fully willing to grant you a second chance.”
Siena’s head, which had been drooping as he spoke, rose again, her eyes filling with tears. I can’t believe this…
“Really?” she asked awkwardly.
Cane nodded with a soft look, and Siena’s heart melted. The darkness rescinded further. Tingles came over her as she looked up at him. I’ve never had someone believe in me before.
“Cane…I don’t know what to say.”
“No need for words, then,” he told her. At that, Cane turned back to the door. When it opened, he stopped. “I’m going to the gym, if you’d like to tag along?”
She had grown tired of this room. Thanks to the medical pod on-board, her life threatening injuries had been healed within a matter of hours. The stiffness and soreness had only lasted a few days after that.
Siena grinned at the prospect of experiencing something different. “Sure,” she said, fidgeting as she followed him.
When they entered the gym, Cane started by doing pull-ups. He was wearing a black vest top, and she admired his well-defined back muscles and strong arms. He dropped to his feet after ten.
“Exercise is important,” he said, stepping aside. “It’s good to see you out of that room.”
“It’s good to be out,” she told him, not giving a hoot about his motives at present.
He motioned to the bar with his head. “C’mon, then.”
She walked under the bar, stretching and twisting to loosen up a little before she hopped up and grabbed hold.
Siena pulled herself up. By her sixth rep, she could feel her biceps burning. By the eighth, her back was tingling. At ten, she dropped to her feet, feeling sweat begin first at the sides of her head.
“It’ll come back to you fast,” he assured her. “Especially if you’re gonna try to keep up with me.”
Siena giggled nervously. “Show-off,” she joked, not sure if she was even in a position to try and have friendly banter yet. Cane let out a breath of encouraging laughter, then switched hands sharply after his eighth rep.
After roughly forty minutes of bodyweight exercises and light weight training, Siena was spent. Her arms, chest and stomach were burning when they stepped out of the gym and headed to the kitchen. Cane shared his water with her as they walked.
“That was intense,” she told him. It wasn’t a lie – keeping up with him hadn’t been easy. To think, just a few weeks ago I was knocking on death’s door.
“You did well,” he complimented. “I’d like you to join us for our run in the morning.”
Siena swallowed, then wiped some sweat from her brow. I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. “You mean, with the others?”
“Yes. Don’t worry. They are lovely people.”
She thought back to the night she met them. They had all been kind, even when she behaved erratically, even though finding out that she was an alien must have been terrifying for them.
“They are,” she agreed, but with an unsure look. “I just…I’m not sure if I’m up to it, just yet.”
Cane stopped, hands interlocked at the small of his back, and turned to face her. “You’ve spent enough time in that room. You need to talk with someone other than me, and Europa. It will be good for you.”
A smile fought to break on her lips, which she only contained initially, and when she thought it over, Siena smiled willingly. “Okay. You’re right. I’ll come.”
“Good.” Cane turned. They walked.
They went to the kitchen and retrieved two portions of synthetic meat and noodles. They added a little salt and spice to their meals. Then sat together and ate.
“They are coming along nicely,” he said, before forking some noodles into his mouth.
“The Earth crew?”
“Yes. I don’t doubt that they’ll pass the entrance exam.”
Cane had explained to her about Vorjool and their mission. She knew that they were training to become Starmen, but she wasn’t entirely sure how the process worked.
“How does the entrance exam work exactly?” Siena ate some meat, and her eager belly purred.
“Well, I’ll surmise the tactical briefing that I gave the rest of the crew. They have three HC assessments to pass if they are to apply for entry as tier-1 candidates. Passing one assessment will enter them into Tier-3 – the grunts that usually go on to be hired by privatised security corporations. Passing two assessments places them in Tier-2 – giving them the rank of Deputies – this classification is where most bounty hunters in the Starmen ranks fall into. Passing three assessments allows them to apply for entry into the Tier-1 specialist’s category. Specialists are the best, and they are highly respected within the guild. They can take on kill warrants, and issue them. That will make our hunt of, Vorjool, legal. It won’t be considered a murder. It will be considered a contract.”
“I didn’t realise Starmen had so much authority,” Siena admitted. The fact that they had was unnerving, to say the least. It meant they could get away with killing anyone, in theory.
“It’s a closely guarded secret,” said Cane. “We were alluded to it by Europa, as Venec’s father was a tier-1 specialist in his time. Only tier-1 candidates, and the Directors, are aware of that power. It’s only used in extreme cases. The Federation trusts Starman HQ, and they depend on them for their expertise when the need arises.”
“Usually as mercenaries,” said Siena. “But what about you, Cane? Aren’t you going to become a Starman?”
Cane shook his head. “No. Rest assured, I’ll do my part. But I expect to return to my life, after all of this is over. I don’t want to be known as a licensed killer.”
Siena smiled, remembering their first encounter fondly. That traumatic day had changed her for the better, forever. “You want to discover something that’s lost.”
He grinned. “Indeed.”
4
“I don’t know what I’ve been told – running around Europa gets really old!” Jack took a breath, clutching his chest. “Had to say that really fast,” he moaned breathlessly, “otherwise, it wouldn’t have rhymed.”
Anderson chuckled. His spirits had been lifted despite their failure this morning in the HC assessment. “You know – I think running is the best medicine,” he commented, sweat trickling his nose.
“I preferred being home because I could afford to be lazy from time to time,” moaned Jack. “Or all of the time. Whatever. This is just punishment at this stage.”
“Jack, it was your idea to go for a run,” said Anderson, and it had been. He had come and collected him from his quarters earlier, with boredom as his reason.
“Shit. What the hell else were we gonna do? Man, three weeks of this shit…I feel like keeling over, ya know?”
“You do look tired.”
“I am exhausted. Sick with worry. Can’t stop thinking about home. Just glad I got to talk to everyone, before, ya know, we travelled a zillion light-years away.”
“I hear ya.”
“Wish I’d said more to, Erika. Maybe came up with a better cover story. But I just…” Jack stopped and bent over, swallowing a sharp breath. “I just said what I could at the time. What if I don’t ever meet another girl like her? Maybe that was my one shot at happiness and I blew it.”
“Jack, c’mon, we have more important things to consider. All of this clogging up your head is doing you no good.”
“You’re right. I know. But…it’s just, man, I’m homesick.”
“I know, Jack…so am I.” He reached over and patted his damp back. Then regretted it at once as he looked at his sweaty palm in revulsion. “I think we should go get showered.”
Jack chuckled. “Yeah.” He sniffed his underarm. “Phew! A shower and a nap.”
*
Claudia itched with anticipation, as she thought of repeating the assessment again tomorrow. Time drudged on, and she sat at the edge of her bed, with her head resting on her hand, staring into the corner of her room blankly. The absence of home gnawed at her.
She had just eaten. A balanced diet upset her mood further; Europa regulated her intake of carbs, and there wasn’t a bar of chocolate in sight. She’d have done anything for some junk food or a can of soda.
Mark came into her room, no doubt led there by boredom himself. “Hey. What you doing?”
“Thinking,” she replied dully.
“About?”
“The fact that we’re stuck in a tin can.”
“You look bored.”
“Bored as shit,” she complained. “You know, back when we started training, I was exhausted by this time of day. Somewhere along the way, I just got all this extra energy, and it feels like there are too many hours in the day.”
“Why not have a language class with, Europa?” Mark offered jokingly.
Every night as they slept, Europa played audio lessons to make up for their slow learning process compared to Cane, who had learnt English in a matter of days. Claudia was even beginning to dream in rovian. Ugh. I’ve had it up to here with language lessons.
“That sounds like a contender for the best idea you’ve ever had,” Claudia replied, with chirpy enthusiasm. Then soured. “That was sarcasm, by the way. I’d rather bang my head off this wall until I pass out.”
Mark sniggered as he approached with hands in the pockets of his baggy pants. They were borrowing from Venec’s wardrobe and Mark didn’t fill out the clothes as the butch inventor had.
“Why don’t you try writing something?” He sat down next to her. “You know, to pass the time? Who knows – it might be good for you.”
<
br /> Claudia breathed frustration, rolling her eyes. “I tried,” she admitted. “More than once. I even had Europa modify the input method to match a standard American keyboard. I memorised the key placement subconsciously from all the writing I’ve done.”
“That’s impressive,” he said, taking the liberty to switch on her personal desk terminal. The touchscreen flashed on with a gentle blip.
“All I had to do was shut my eyes and let my fingers guide me to the keys.”
Anderson bent over and examined the terminal. He frowned, pushing his glasses back up his nose when he returned to full height. “You got so many things wrong, outside of the letters,” he said, with a humoured air of condescension. “And there are a few things missing entirely.”
“So? I don’t use anything else, except punctuation.”
“Well, the letters are fine. That’s all that really matters.”
Claudia sighed. “Thing is, since we got here, I realised something about myself. I’m too young to be a writer.”
“What? Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve already been published.”
She pulled her eyes from the corner and saw his dismay. “Self-published. Mark, I know how to write nice descriptions. But I don’t know how to write about anything that matters. I don’t have enough experience.”
In the night, as she lay in bed, it was all she thought about. The worry that her talent might go to waste was second to her worry for home, though.
“One day, hopefully, I’ll get back to it. But for now, I need to live more before I put anything on a page. Until that moment – it will be worthless crap.”
As he shook his head at her, Claudia knew she should be disappointed with herself, but she couldn’t feel it then. He was questioning his own craft in those moments. Mark had come here to try and perk up her mood, but instead had his own spirits brought down.
“Contact!” Europa warned in alarm. They got alert.
The first week on-board, they had been through so many drills that they all knew how to react given an emergency situation. They were both heading brusquely to the command bridge in an instant.
