Something about her tone caught his interest. Not once had he ever doubted her sincerity, but there was far more bothering her than just this; even if “just this” was of monumental importance.
Softly he said, “What happened between you and Holden last night?”
“None of your business,” she snapped.
An urge to remind her who was in charge overtook him. Aaron closed the distance between them. He easily towered over her, and she was forced to take a step back and tilt her head to look up at him. The fire in her eyes wavered yet did not diminish.
“What happened,” he tried again, this time deliberately, “between you and Holden last night?”
Her defenses were still high. “What, you want to go kill him for some other stupid slight?”
“Rachael.”
She finally stopped spouting at the mouth. Rachael visibly fumbled for a response. When she did speak her voice faltered. “He just… didn’t want me over.” This time Aaron could see the particular color of crimson her face flushed. “I might have given him the wrong idea.” When he raised an eyebrow, she said quickly, “I’m not like that!”
“Not my business,” murmured Aaron. He couldn’t help the self-deprecating smile that crept forth as he used her earlier words.
He only succeeded in embarrassing her further. “I’m not.”
“I am not one of your childish classmates,” he responded. “I do not assume.”
Rachael sighed.
The strong pull to return to his brother was distracting, but Aaron forced himself to focus on the present. “If I may offer some insight—”
“I’d rather you didn’t.”
He ignored her. “Holden is more than likely preoccupied with the more recent issues with the pack. Particularly since he is no longer welcome in it. He is bound to feel displaced. I would not take his abandonment personally.”
Another quick breeze tousled their hair as Rachael solemnly took in his words. Then she said, “If you want him dead, why do you want me to... help him?”
Be with him, is what Aaron knew she wanted to say. Rather than address her silent meaning, he explained, “I do not want him near the pack. He has made numerous transgressions, including the most recent attack on his alpha. He had no intention of leading the pack should he have successfully killed me.” Her grey eyes widened. Once again Aaron inwardly groaned at her lack of awareness when it came to the exiled pup. “That does not mean I desire his life. I simply cannot have his woeful morale and personal regrets bring the rest of the pack down. He is too impulsive, too dangerous, and not nearly loyal enough to be with us.”
If nothing else, he had effectively—and finally—given her a new angle to consider. Aaron honestly took pleasure in her troubled expression. She was not a stupid girl. Not remarkably intelligent, but certainly not a fool. Her falling in love with Holden was ultimately an unexpected turn of events. For really, how many times had Holden befriended potential lycans previously? Certainly more than enough for him to return their feelings, and yet Rachael was the first.
She stared at a point past him and said, “About Nathan.”
Their first conversation was not over. But Aaron was willing to place it on hold. He nodded for her to continue.
Rachael inhaled deeply. “I know it sounds crazy, but your guys’ idea just doesn’t feel right. It’s…” She groped silently for the right words. “It’s too... convenient?”
“I see.” He responded with as little emotion as he could. She frowned but at least didn’t start ranting again. “I do not wish to deter you from your efforts, Ms. Adair. Feel free to continue your search.” His voice darkened. “But do not bring Holden back here. I spared him last night for your sake. I will not do so again.”
She looked like she wanted to argue, but Rachael just pressed her lips together and nodded stiffly.
Aaron flashed her a tight smile. “Well, then. If you will excuse me.”
Perhaps it was not a wise decision to leave her standing alone in the woods. Aaron was well aware it was a school day. But he also was not about to coddle her. Should she come across trouble, he would hear it.
Hopefully.
Aaron was hardly five minutes into his search when Nathan popped up again. The boy was still in human form, eyeing a squirrel with raptorial delight. The boy feinted to the left, and then pounced when the squirrel began to dart right. He snatched up the screaming creature, mercifully crushing it in hands much too strong for any normal human boy.
When Aaron cleared his throat, his brother turned to greet him. Nathan’s white-blonde hair shimmered in the morning light, casting a sweet glow around his head.
He held up the squirrel. “You still hungry?”
“No,” said Aaron. He kept his eyes level, and the smile faded from his brother’s lips. “You ought to eat your fill now. We need to talk.”
Chapter Fourteen
Her search of the woods yielded no results. Rachael had four days left and time seemed crushingly short.
Going back to school had seemed purposeless, but she had been unable to find anything new or meaningful. After Douglas Park, she was out of ideas for what to do or where to look. She had considered visiting the sequoia, but where it had once been her Shangri La, it now reminded her of all the blood spilled when Roxi had kidnapped Jackson and tried to kill her. So she had gone home dejected. Holden hadn’t answered the phone when she called, and she hadn’t answered her phone when Jackson tried to get a hold of her.
Somehow, the worst was when her father had come home hours early, dully told her he knew of her absences, and then gone to bed without a word of punishment or discipline. She knew most kids her age would have envied her lack of consequences. To Rachael it only told of how desperately alone she really was.
So she’d gone back to school just to be around people. And then it became rapidly apparent that she wasn’t connecting with her friends anyway. How could she? All could sympathize when her mother was ill and even when she died, but absolutely none of them could comprehend her current situation.
Lycans had pretty much ruined her normal life.
Rather than eat with Vera and the others, Rachael slipped into the library like she used to. She quickly located her old spot, still comfortably empty of people. Gingerly, she knelt to the floor and unwrapped her lunch. She bit into her sandwich without tasting it, eating for sustenance rather than enjoyment. A cynical smile twisted her mouth. The unfortunate metaphor applied to her life well.
She finished her food all too quickly. A glance at her watch told her she had a good twenty minutes left. So Rachael made sure everything was neatly packed away before she unfolded her legs from beneath her and sat with her back against the sturdy shelves.
A brilliant idea would have been helpful, but she ended up staring into the distance with nary an epiphany. Instead she eyed the shelves, distantly noting the areas where dust lay undisturbed. How often did the librarians clean here, anyway?
She was so entranced in her inane thoughts that it took her far too long to realize somebody had approached her and was staring. Rachael tilted her head to her left, blinking dazedly at her intruder. It was no wonder she hadn’t heard anything. Though the heels were notably solid, they sank a little into the old carpet.
Coleen tucked her surprisingly modest skirt beneath her bottom before she knelt. Her fiery red hair coiled around her face in a beautiful tumble of curls. Her glossy lips pursed as she assessed Rachael up and down.
“What,” said Rachael flatly.
Coleen rolled her eyes. “Real nice tone.”
“Yeah, well, you’ve done a lot to deserve it.”
To her surprise, Coleen nodded in agreement. “Yeah. I remember. I was there.”
Rachael closed her eyes against her impending headache. “What do you want?” she asked, not immediately realizing how she sounded so coldly like Aaron in that moment.
Coleen paused, glancing around nervously. Either she was embarrassed to be caught in a lib
rary or she didn’t want anyone else to overhear them. Rachael’s instincts warned her to be cautious either way.
“I just wanted to see how you were doing,” said Coleen softly. “You weren’t in the lunchroom.”
Rachael seriously doubted that. “Like you care. Just... please, leave me alone.”
Perfectly painted nails caught the light as Coleen spread her hands. “Look, I don’t deserve anything from you. But I told you before, I get it. About Jackson, anyway. I...” She sighed, guilt toying with her remarkable blue eyes. “I wanted to see how you’re holding up.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Especially not with you,” said Rachael pointedly.
Coleen flinched, but her expression returned to its default haughty lines with ease. “I wasn’t always an only child, remember?”
Rachael had a wise remark to make, but an unwanted pang of sympathy sealed her mouth shut. Instead she rested an elbow on her knee and her chin in her hand. She had the feeling Coleen wanted to tell her a little more about Marlene.
With her silent permission, Coleen continued. “When I was a lot younger, we lived in the Chicago city projects. Yeah, yeah, I know, wipe that dumb look off your face. It’s true.” She folded her arms beneath her breasts, which were not as modestly covered as the rest of her. “Anyway. After my sister was kidnapped my parents couldn’t stand to stay. Especially after they... found her...” Her voice trailed off and she diverted her eyes.
A lot of Rachael’s immediate ire shriveled like loose petals in the sun. She swallowed. If what Coleen said was true, it explained a lot. Her brusque way of telling the story certainly lent a lot of credence. But still....
“I’m sorry,” said Rachael quietly. “It doesn’t mean we’re friends, though. You did a lot of messed up stuff to me and Vera.”
“More than just you and Vera,” said Coleen rigidly. She squirmed uncomfortably. “I get it.”
Do you? Rachael wanted to ask. But the words caught on the painful swell of feelings in her throat. The paranoid part of her screamed that all of this was Coleen’s way of gaining such sympathy, but it was unfortunately effective.
“Look, just... if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”
Rachael rested her forehead in the palm of her hand. “Yeah, sure,” she mumbled. “You’ll be the first person I call.”
Coleen protested, but the words hardly passed her lips before a sharp voice cut in.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
Rachael jolted, scrambling to her feet. That voice still freaked her out—Vera’s angry tone. She’d only heard it come out once before, and that had also involved Coleen. The memory still left a sour taste in her mouth that even Vera’s usual sweetness had not completely washed away.
Coleen took her time standing, brushing off her skirt as though it had somehow collected dust. She turned scornful, violet-lidded eyes to her former friend. “Oh, you know me,” she said, her voice dripping with syrupy sarcasm. “I just love the smell of old books and mildew. It’s my new favorite chill zone.”
Quietly, Rachael said, “She didn’t do anything yet.”
“Gee, thanks.”
Vera narrowed her eyes at Coleen, her hands firmly on her hips. “Don’t you have something better to do instead of bothering Rachael here?”
Oh, no, please don’t, Rachael pleaded silently. She tried to beg Vera to stop with her eyes, but her friend had zeroed in on Coleen like an exceptional marksman.
Coleen tossed her curls over her shoulder with a grand toss of her head. She matched Vera glare for glare and bared her teeth slightly. “You may be the most popular girl now, Princess Vera, but those that rise the highest fall the hardest.” She shot Rachael an icy look as well. “You’d both to well to remember that. Especially you, Rachael.”
Rachael wanted to snap back, but she came up short on retorts. In the awkward silence that followed, Vera rushed to cover her by shooing Coleen with one hand. “Go screw someone else’s boyfriend. You’ll be appreciated for a few seconds that way, at least.”
Coleen scoffed and stormed off in a dramatic flurry of pleated skirt and perfect hair. Once she was out of sight Rachael sagged against the shelves, sinking even further into the ground.
A small hand came to rest on her shoulder. She glanced over as Vera sat beside her. The air seemed frigid as Vera scrutinized her, both concerned and skeptical.
“Why were you hanging out with her, anyway?” she asked. “You could have had lunch with the rest of us.”
“I wanted to be alone,” said Rachael tiredly. So much for that, apparently. Once she got home, she knew she’d just fret around the house over Jackson’s impending sentence and Holden’s cruel avoidance. Bad enough she was unable to do or think of anything at home. School was her one small reprieve, and the ridiculousness of high school antics seemed intent on stopping her from coping.
Vera’s grip tightened on her shoulder. “Rache... I don’t know what’s going on, but you can’t do it alone. You look awful. And even entertaining Coleen on your own—”
Rachael’s head snapped up. Her fingers clenched into fists. “What, because you think I can’t handle her?”
“Now, wait a minute.”
“You,” sputtered Rachael, ignoring her friend’s words. “You have no idea what I’m dealing with. Coleen is nothing compared to that.”
The fire from before lit again in Vera’s expression. She hopped to her feet and said angrily, “Of course I don’t know. You avoid your friends, you shut us out! If it’s Holden, we can help. But not if you don’t talk to us.”
“No you can’t,” Rachael ground out through her teeth. Her eyes swarmed with stinging heat. “None of you can.”
“Yes, we—”
“Vera, if I tell you, you’ll just get in the way!”
Too late Rachael realized she had used the wrong words. It wasn’t what she’d meant; she’d meant that Vera would end up in the line of fire and quite possibly dead. What she’d wanted to say had been impossible unless she broke her promise to Aaron and his pack and put numerous people in danger. She scrambled to her feet, grappling for an apology. But while she stuttered Vera gave her an arctic stare. Then, with purpose, she spun on her heel and stalked out of the library.
Rachael stared blearily after her friend. Great. One more thing I screwed up.
The shrill jangle of the warning bell kept her firmly grounded in her terrible reality. Subdued and just wishing the day could be over, Rachael gathered her things and trudged back to class.
Chapter Fifteen
The cake should have been delicious. It was perfectly moist, the strawberries still held enormous bursts of flavor, and tangy lemon icing gave it a zesty kick that pulled the entire concoction together. Yet with each miserable bite Holden couldn’t get any more excited than if he was eating raw lettuce leaves.
By leaving Rachael alone at her house the night before, he had wrecked everything. And he knew it grew worse each time she tried to contact him and he avoided answering. Her desperate crescendo of calls had peaked about an hour after he’d returned to his apartment, and then stopped. Holden had lain awake and stared at his empty ceiling for hours. There had been no opportunity to sleep with the cacophony of terrible thoughts racing through his mind. For a few minutes he’d managed to doze off only to be awoken by the incessant buzzing vibrations of his phone. Without even looking at the screen he’d answered the call and hung up. Later, when he was slightly better rested, he realized he’d hung up on Rachael.
That must have been why the phone calls ceased.
Holden snatched his phone and checked it again. Nothing. He tossed it back down to the counter, glaring at his cake and willing it to inherit all his venomous thoughts.
He’d spent the afternoon furiously baking. And when he wasn’t cooking, he was pacing and trying not to think about what the look on Rachael’s face must have been when she’d realized he’d left. And Holden felt awful about it, because she’d done nothing wrong.
Holden had panicked. He’d tried to tell himself it would be fine. It was just for a night; she needed space from her family; she trusted him. And yet everything about him had screamed that it wasn’t appropriate. Just from observing the world around him as he’d grown up, Holden had quickly realized how important a role women played. He’d followed the news from across continents when they fought for their rights in the United States, and had been impressed with their progress. But he also firmly believed that to have one overnight, in his home, alone, was of the utmost disrespect.
His fists clenched on the countertop as Aaron’s mocking laughter echoed in his head. Do you not trust her strength of will? he could hear his former alpha saying. Or is your own that weak?
Truthfully, Holden didn’t know. And he hadn’t wanted to find out. So as he’d sat in the car, his grip on the steering wheel so tight his knuckles burned, all the potential unbecoming scenarios searing his imagination. His pulse and temperature had quickly risen.
In the moment, he’d been more amazed she hadn’t come running out as his clunker backed out of the driveway, hesitated with guttural sputters, and then bellowed off into the darkness. The rain had been pouring in torrential slaps and made the road difficult to see. The entire way back to the apartment Holden had reassured himself he’d done the right thing. Not only would inviting her over be improper, he’d reasoned, but the roads were so wet that some had gushes of water flowing down like small rivers. Obviously it was too dangerous. Especially if they got into an accident.
So, inappropriate, dangerous, and she was clearly too fragile to handle anything that night, even if it was on the right side of propriety. It was not his fault she had hit the perfect trifecta for disaster.
Yet the moment he closed his front door all the dread his adrenaline had held off crashed into him. Holden had checked his phone to find several missed calls from Rachael. Only one message had been recorded, and even then it was just a sharp intake of breath before the line went dead.
Secrets in the Fade (Secrets of the Sequoia Book 2) Page 13
