by Sarah Gai
Nic showed Winter around the five-bedroom, three-bathroom, and dual living rooms before she settled them both in the entertainment room. The close friends spent an hour flicking through around twenty bridal magazines, marking the things Nic liked with Post-it notes. Winter couldn't believe this day had come for one of them. She dreamed about her wedding day many times, only she pictured Connor as her groom. She knew she had to let bygones be bygones as she sat down with Nicole planning her wedding; she glowed as she pointed out the style of dress she wanted, the cake she dreamed of devouring, and the hairstyles and dresses for bridesmaids, along with every last detail.
"You know you’re my maid-of-honor, right?" Nicole looked at her expectantly.
"I'd be honored," Winter signed happily.
They sat across from one another and just stared. Winter understood what wasn't being said—Nic missed her. All those years she had hidden herself away, yet here they were as if a day had not passed, catching up and inhaling each other’s presence. Winter wanted to break the heavy moment by asking where her brother was, but Nicole diverted her attention. Winter followed her eyes and turned her head towards the entrance. Slaving away my ass, she thought to herself as she saw Charlie standing there holding Chinese take-out. Winter rolled her eyes, not surprised.
"Your bride-to-be told me you had been cooking all day."
Charlie laughed and shook his head, "Yes, well she has always had a flair for drama and tall tales," Charlie signed as he walked towards Nic, planting a sweet kiss on her forehead.
Winter felt herself sigh though it must have been audible as the pair looked over at her and smiled. She blushed, embarrassed, for being caught. Trying to change the focus she asked, "So how come you’re so late?"
"Nolan and I had to finish a job and then, well, we had to drive over to the Chinese restaurant, order the food, and wait," Charlie told her as he turned to look back at the hallway.
Winter’s eyes followed Charlie’s to see who was bringing up the rear. Oh my dear, sweet Lord. Nolan Reed leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and a half-smile spread on his face showing his amusement.
Nolan was handsome when they were younger, but the man that stood there now...Winter’s mind could not find the words to describe the specimen she saw. His hair had grown out, short on the sides, but long on the top, his fringe obscuring one eye as day-old stubble covered his perfectly chiseled jaw. Winter could not help but allow her eyes to wander their way down his body; muscular arms hid beneath his arctic blue button-up work shirt, the sleeves rolled to his elbows brandishing tattoos down to his wrists. His long legs looked perfect in his dirty work jeans and Timberlands.
Nolan's hand caught her attention as he raised it slightly and gave her a small wave. Winter tried to take hold of herself and closed her mouth. She looked away briefly, trying to act as if she wasn't affected by his appearance, and managed to give a small wave back.
"Well, everyone, let’s go and have dinner. I'm starving," Charlie said. He walked over and grabbed Winter by the hand pulling her up and giving her a quick hug before leading her into the dining room.
All of a sudden, Winter became all too aware of her appearance. She tried to brush the fly-away hairs around her face as she passed by Nolan, who was still leaning against the wall waiting for them to pass. Her body temperature rose as she caught a whiff of his musky scent, her head swooning and her eyes diverting from his. Winter was wishing she could skip dinner and go home; she did not know how she would survive the meal.
They dished up their own plates and Charlie opened a bottle of red wine. Nicole chatted non-stop through dinner, not bothering with signing, so Winter missed all of whatever she was saying, as Nic spoke a million miles a minute.
Winter didn't care though; she was too on edge. She tried hard not to look at Nolan, but he was just too...distracting. Every time she glanced at him, her brain decided to turn into mush; she did not like it one single bit.
Charlie looked at her and frowned as Winter just pushed her food around the plate. "What's wrong little sister?" he signed. "You're not eating."
Winter didn't want to tell him she couldn't eat because her stomach had butterflies performing somersaults; her body betraying her with Nolan's proximity. "I'm not very hungry," she simply replied. He did not believe it for one second as he drilled his eyes into hers, "Tell me the truth."
"Okay, fine. I'm feeling very uncomfortable that you invited Nolan over tonight. I thought it was going to be just the three of us," she leaned towards him to sign. She glanced at Nicole who was still talking to Nolan about God knows what, so it was just her and Charlie conversing, not that Nic could keep up with how fast their hands moved. For Charlie, it was like riding a bike since he had started signing early in life.
"Nolan doesn't need an invite Winter. He's family. Besides, he eats here all the time," he brushed her off.
"Well, I feel uncomfortable. Besides he hasn't said anything to me for the past forty minutes. I mean, how rude, right?" Winter complained as she picked up her fork and resumed pushing her food around the plate.
Before she knew it, a large, rough hand reached for her chin, pulling it around to the side, her eyes landing on Nolan's.
Nolan
She had no idea he watched every sign that passed between her and Charlie or the fact that he had been practicing for years. There were days at work where the only communication between Nolan and Charlie was in ASL.
All those years ago he wanted nothing more than to communicate properly with Winter. It drove him crazy watching the secret language he wasn't privy to between those closest to her. The ease in which they spelled out words, the way their faces would fill with expression, each raising of a brow, every wide eye, smirk, or smile showing a different meaning as they worked simultaneously with their hand actions. He reveled at the way Winter's mouth involuntarily moved to shape silent words she had picked up from watching the others. The only real conversation Nolan and Winter ever really had was that day by the creek before the tragedy and even then it was by paper. Nolan knew if he ever had the chance to be with the one girl that captured his heart as a young man, he had to up his game and communicate with her on every level.
"I'm sorry for ignoring you. Truth is I have no idea what to say," Nolan signed.
Winter’s fork hit the plate as her mouth fell open. She turned to look at Charlie. "He knows how to sign and you failed to mention that to me!" she asked furiously.
She was so cute when she was mad. Her nose scrunched and her brows pulled down—adorable. Charlie held his hands up and pointed towards Nolan. She looked back at him. “Surprise!" he spelled, giving her his best grin.
Her face softened as her head tilted to the side. It was the first time tonight she stopped and truly looked at him, studied him, and Nolan's heart doubled its pace. She was so beyond beautiful. From the first moment he met Winter that day in the cafeteria he lost himself in her sheer magnificence. But staring at her next to him at the dining room table, he was about to drown in the pools of her eyes and not utter a single complaint as this Siren dragged him down below the surface. Even dressed in yoga pants and an old sweater, she really looked good. He let Winter continue to look at him and in turn he held her eye contact.
With a small nod of her head she replied, "Well, hello Nolan. It's nice to properly meet you," she held out her hand to shake his. He took her small delicate fingers in his own and instead of shaking it, he interlocked them, fusing their hands and fingers together. She seemed shocked for a moment, but for just a second he felt her relax.
"Whoa bro, think you might be rushing it a bit?" Charlie threw out there.
Nolan didn't even bother to look at him as he responded, "I've been waiting a very long time, my friend."
Winter pulled her fingers from his, her warmth going with her. He knew she thought he was responding to her; she had no idea what Charlie had just said.
"Well it's about time Nolan. And Charlie, wouldn't it be great if they actually did
get together? Then we wouldn't have to see this hunk of a man pining over a girl he hasn't seen in years anymore. And I won't have to listen to my girlfriends begging me to set them up with that there piece of man candy," Nicole pointed at Nolan.
"What's she saying?" Winter asked her brother.
Charlie rolled his eyes, "Wedding stuff," he replied.
"Liar," she scowled at him.
Nolan couldn't help but laugh as he directed at Nic, "So I'm man candy, huh?"
"Don't be naïve Nolan. Half of Port Townsend, including the married ones, are trying to get in your pants. And it doesn't help you're the world’s biggest flirt with no end game," she tipped her glass of wine toward him before taking a sip.
"Hey, I was polishing up my skills for the end game that is sitting right next to me. Call it the perfect practice."
"Well, so help us all. It better pay off!"
"Hey, what about me? I'm man candy too, right?" Charlie pouted towards his fiancé.
"You know it baby," she winked and leaned over to kiss him sweetly.
Winter rose from her seat. Picking her plate up, she walked to the trash bin and scraped off her uneaten food before she placed it in the sink. She looked at Charlie, "I'm going home now. Thanks for dinner."
"No, you can't go. What's wrong?" Charlie signed standing and walking over to her.
"Look, I know it's been a while since you had to sign. But honestly you guys are excluding me on purpose," she looked hurt.
It crushed Nolan to see it.
"No, we weren't I promise," Charlie signed at her.
"Yes, you were. Do you know how it feels to be sitting there and not being able to follow along? How left out I feel?" she replied.
She was right. Nolan felt ashamed. They had spoken fast, knowing Winter wouldn't be able to grasp their mouth movements and they had stopped signing. To Nolan it would be like going out to dinner with friends and having those friends text message the whole night in conversation so he wouldn't be included. Shame washed over him. He should have told her he could sign from the moment he walked in the door, but he chose not to. Part of him had been nervous to be honest. Now that they could communicate properly, it meant the game was on. He was both elated and excited.
"You're right," Charlie signed and also spoke aloud. "We didn't consider your feelings. You missed Nicole calling Nolan man candy. I'm sorry and I won't lie to you or exclude you again," he bent forward and wrapped her in hug.
Winter hugged him back before pulling away. "I'm sorry for being so dramatic. I promise next time not to feel so upset; I'll just hit you up the side of the head instead," she smiled. "But I really do need to get going," she finished.
Nolan jumped up from his chair, "I'll give you a lift home."
"No, not necessary."
"I'm happy to. This man needs to retire early tonight. Early morning and long day tomorrow," he pointed at himself.
They said their goodbyes and Nolan opened up his truck’s passenger door for Winter to climb in. The ten-minute drive to Winter's house was silent, giving him time to think. He wanted to know so much about her. He knew a lot about what she had been up to with his constant hammering at Charlie, but he wanted to learn more about her life from her. He pulled into the driveway, leaving the engine running, and turned to face her. She was looking right at him and again for the hundredth time tonight his heart skipped a beat.
"Thank you for the ride. I'm sorry I was upset at you all."
"No, you were right. We were disrespectful. I won't do that again," he promised. She nodded at him. As she opened the door to get out, Nolan gently grabbed her arm and stopped her. “Go out with me tomorrow." He knew he was being bold, but he didn't care. If he didn't jump in with both feet, he knew he would regret it.
She smiled sadly. "I can't. I set up with work to allow me to work from here. I have three websites that need doing tomorrow."
"What about Saturday night?" He’d only have to wait three days—he could do that.
Winter shook her head back and forth. "I can't Nolan. I just can't," she finished and quickly jumped out of the truck, running to the front door and shutting it behind her.
He waited until she was safely inside before pulling out of the driveway. She didn't look back once and his face fell. He wasn't giving up though. He saw the way she reacted to him when she first laid eyes on him tonight. He was sure she felt something for him. She may not realize it, but now that she was back he was going to fight to keep her there.
Nothing changed his feelings for her, which was solidified tonight. He had waited years to see her, to see if it was just a high school crush he affixed his hopes to and wasted years pining over. But when he took one look at her sitting on the couch looking more beautiful than ever, the spark within him roared to life again.
Damn it; his mission now was to make Winter Harris fall in love with him. Defeat was not an option.
Winter
She couldn't sleep no matter how hard she tried; the incidences of the day—seeing Rosie and Nolan and the melodrama of dinner—rummaged through her mind.
She was truly happy to see them all, to see how much they matured and bettered their lives; yet many other things had changed as well. There was an easy back and forth banter between Charlie, Nicole, and Nolan at dinner—they had become a real family. Winter wondered if she would ever feel included again. It wasn't their fault in the slightest; they had continued to live, to thrive, to make something of their lives. She wondered if she had ever really been a part of the group or if she was just Connor’s tag along.
As she lay there, Winter found herself feeling angry with Connor for the first time ever. It was no fault of his; he could never hurt her. She was angry they had been so attached and angry that she struggled to move on. Most of all, she was angry he was gone. She wanted to blame him for everything so she wouldn't have to look inward. But she was primarily mad with herself for internally doing cartwheels when Nolan asked her out. For the first time in a long time, she wanted to say yes, but, like every other day, Connor plagued her thoughts and the guilt of being able to live a life in which he wasn't able to ate away at her.
Winter abandoned the notion of getting some shut eye. Stoking up the wood fireplace, she turned on the coffee machine and went to shower. It was just shy of 5am and she figured if she was up she might as well get some work done.
She threw on a fresh pair of flannelette pajamas and some thick, knit socks, braided her hair, and prepared to get comfy on the sofa with her laptop and fresh cup of coffee. A girl could get used to working like this, she thought as she sat crossed-legged balancing her laptop on them and getting down to business.
The time flew as Winter powered through her first website. Being lost in her work helped the time go faster; she peered at the clock—eleven a.m. already. After she sent off the final layout for approval, she uncurled herself from the couch and stood, stretching out her unused muscles and yawned. The lack of sleep had finally caught up with her. As she padded towards the kitchen to fix herself another cup of coffee, her stomach rumbled begging to be fed. A slight breeze hit her back and she turned to look towards the front door.
The initial panic of not expecting anyone today subsided and soothed as she watched Nolan enter the house. He looked up and gave her a smile that could melt many hearts. His hair was disheveled with a sprinkling of snow on his coat shoulders. He raised his arms showing her the bags he was carrying. She seriously wondered if this man was sent from Heaven or could hear her mind mutterings. Before he even approached, she could smell the warm toasted sandwiches. Her stomach cried out in agreement as her mouth began to water. Winter didn't want to just stand there staring, looking hypnotized by his mere presence, so she turned and continued towards the coffee maker.
Looking back at Nolan she lifted her mug with an inquisitive expression as to ask him if he would like a cup.
He shook his head and placed the bags on the counter. "No thanks, give me a second," he held up a finger and ran out the
front door again. Leaning up against the kitchen counter, Winter waited for him to return. Crossing her arms, she peered down with shock, realizing she was wearing the world’s biggest, yet most comfortable, pajamas. She threw her arms in the air and began to walk into the hallway toward her room.
As she turned the corner, Nolan rushed back in through the front door. Winter all of a sudden stopped in her tracks, forgetting what she was about to do. All she could do was stare again. Why did she have to come home and face this distraction of having to look at this perfect specimen of a man? Sure, it was fine to watch and ogle some hunk on television since you could turn it off and just fantasize, but when one is standing in front of you, what do you do?
He held out his hand that was holding a smoothie. How did he know that she loved those? She was sure he had mind reading powers he was keeping a secret. Remembering what she was trying to do she raised her hands, "One minute. Need to change."
He looked her up and down before mouthing "Why?" and scrunched up his face in confusion. "You look cute," he said slowly, his eyes peering into hers.
She could feel the heat rising up her neck as his stare held her captive. Nope, not happening. It took everything in Winter to pull away, turn and race down the hall.
Quickly, she changed into dark denim skinny jeans and a fitted gray sweater. Taking down her hair, she ran her fingers through her waist length mane trying to tame it a little. With a quick slash of mascara and some nude lip-gloss, she stepped out of her room and made her way back towards the kitchen.
Nolan turned as she entered, his eyes widening temporarily before he signed, "Well, you shape up well. I prefer the over-sized pajamas though."
Winter slapped his arm as she walked by. She joined Nolan at the kitchen table, sitting across from him, her eyes perusing the set-up in front of her.
"I grabbed you your favorite sandwich—melted cheese, sun-dried tomatoes, and chicken and an orange-banana smoothie. Is that okay?" he asked.
