by C. T. Hsia
ELDER (sings:)
The flames of my rage mount higher and higher! (Speaks:)
Rascal, I can see what will happen to you: soon enough you’ll be a beggar.
RASCAL: How could that be? Look at my left hand—that’s not in my future.
ELDER (sings:)
[If a Scholar]
You claim to have the wit to wreak havoc like Zuo Ci,
And the strength of Xiang Yu to lift mountains and hoist tripods.65
Yet in broad daylight these rascals have exchanged your eyes for balls of mud!
Even if you had curses to subdue demons,
Or a sutra that brings salvation,
You couldn’t escape from the spell of those two devils! (Speaks:)
If you don’t heed my advice, Rascal, before long you’ll be a beggar.
RASCAL: How could that be? Look at my right hand—that’s not in my future.
ELDER (sings:)
[Third to Last Coda]
Then you will suffer hunger and cold, as if stranded in the Sea of Darkness;
You’ll have “nothing but the name of a drifter in the blue houses.”66
LIU: How about me?
ELDER (sings:)
You are an empty bottle, utterly useless.
HU: How about me?
ELDER (sings:)
You are like a bolus stripped bare and worthless.67
HU: Neither of us is that ugly!
ELDER (sings:)
You may be warm enough on the outside,
But within you have hearts of ice!
LIU: Don’t get carried away, old fellow. You’ve got a pair of eyes: what do you think of this fine outfit I’m wearing?
ELDER (sings:)
I can’t bear to look at your wide seams there under the lining,
Your stomach folded over, your chest puffed out,
Your prancing about like a duck or a goose.
When you go out—
You may look peachy with your face partly covered by a fan,
But returning to your tile kiln—
Ho, ho, ho! It’s surely the Bitter Cold Pavilion in wind and snow.68
LIU: What do you mean, “bitter cold pavilion of wind and snow”—I only know how to ride leisurely about on my fine horses with my spurs and stirrups.
ELDER (sings:)
[Penultimate Coda]
You say you “ride leisurely about on fine horses with spurs and stirrups.” (Speaks:)
You two go home and figure out how much each of you has swindled from him. (Sings:)
You capture flies only to release them before they die.69
RASCAL: You’ve underestimated me, Uncle. I have a generous and giving heart, a yielding and humble nature, the capacity of a knight-errant, and a nobility of mind.
ELDER (sings:)
What “generous and giving heart” have you
That you revile and abuse Lu Su;
What “nobility of mind” have you
That you can outshine Liu Yi;
What “yielding and humble nature” have you
That you can surpass Bao Shu;70
What “knight-errant capacity” have you
That you would swindle Chen Deng!71
RASCAL: I give presents to the needy every day; I’ve done countless good deeds.
ELDER (sings:)
Give presents—to which bankrupt merchants?
Give presents—to which banished officials?
Give presents—to which poor, downtrodden students?
Such deeds would have made you famous, glorified your name,
Outshone sun and moon, and impressed the emperor’s court.
[Ultimate Coda]
Wouldn’t that be better than giving thirty ingots to a prostitute or bawd?
Better than giving two hundred bottles to a playboy or wastrel?
You yearn for good times and beguiling scenes,
The pleasures that gladden the heart,
In parties with friends and guests,
Toasted with running cups and flying goblets. (Speaks:)
Rascal, I ask you: whose money is this?
RASCAL: It’s my father’s money.
ELDER: And who ought to be using it?
RASCAL: It ought to be mine to spend.
ELDER (sings:)
This was none other than the fortune your father built up;
It is your own inheritance,
And no one else can lay claim to it.
Why not share it with your wife and children—
Why hand it over to that Hu Zichuan and Liu Longqing?
RASCAL: When I give a banquet, if I tell them to invite ten people, they bring ten extra; if I invite twenty, they invite twenty more. In less than an hour they have invited everyone to the banquet. Tell me, Uncle: how can I not respect them?
ELDER: Bah! (Sings:)
[Coda]
When you are rich, they invite three thousand swordsmen, (speaks:)
But once your money is all gone … (sings:)
They will flee, leaving you to pace your twelfth-level Jade Terrace alone.72 (Speaks:)
Rascal, (sings:)
One day when you will have squandered all the family property,
Cutting off both principal and interest from your pawnshop,
Of your houses, none is left, your stores of rice exhausted—
Who will support you, and how will you get by?
You’ve no experience in doing business,
Nor are you trained in manual skills;
Neither strong enough to bear heavy work,
Nor patient enough to do the light.
You’ll have to shake your beggar’s clapper,
Strike your clay begging bowl
On your circuits begging for scraps under the eaves of the town.
No firewood to burn and melt the ice in your cooking pot,
No mat in your ruined kiln, nothing to cover your head.
Your empty stomach will rumble like spring thunder,
Even your bones will rattle;
A frigid wind will whistle, numbing your spine.
Anxiously you await the last of the hours struck from the tower.73 (Speaks:)
What is the time now? What is the time? (Sings:)
Frost pierces your kiln, you cannot endure until dawn;
You lament that knocking on relatives’ doors gets no response at all;
Unable to get hold of even the shadow of close friends on the street.
How can you go on with no food for strength?
Your corpse, frozen rigid, will lie buried under deep snow,
Who would bother to make you a makeshift coffin?
In a trice they’ll carry you out and fill your grave level.
Even in death, your neighbors will still resent you
For heedlessly leaving a bad name for your parents!
With good advice I counseled you, but you would not listen;
You valued those rascals’ lies as if they were your mother’s words.
You know well that your father fell ill from anger;
I too am incensed, my rage waxing ever more.
Should I drag you off to court to satisfy my feelings?
If I do not beat you to death, worthless wretch, I’ll forfeit my good name!74
There are other families with deceiving youths,
But none courts his ruin as readily as you do.
It may be that you were born weak of will,
Your heart and character already benighted,
Your ears already hardened to good counsel;75
Ah, son!
In truth my words cannot change you; my teachings cannot mold you.
But just take that document you marked and signed on the back
And read it very carefully. (Exits.)
RASCAL: This drinking party has been ruined! You break it up when you wish; I’m going home! (RASCAL, HU, and LIU exit.)
ACT 3
(RASCAL and CUIGE enter carrying a shabby basket.
)
RASCAL: All you good-for-nothings, take a lesson from me! I’m the Yangzhou Rascal. Because I didn’t believe the advice of good people, I did indeed come to this pitiful state. Placing my trust in Liu Longqing and Hu Zichuan, I used up my house and home, all my family property. I’ve been tricked out of everything. Now we’re living in a ruined kiln near the south wall of the city. If we eat breakfast, we have nothing for supper. Every day we build a fire on the floor where we sleep; then we lie down on the warm ground. How are we to get by in the days and months ahead? It is fitting that I am suffering, but this old woman of mine has never had a single day’s comfort. Enough, enough! Sister, I can’t go on living! I’m going to untie this rope and fasten it to that tree branch. We’ll both hang ourselves—you on that side and I on this.
CUIGE: Rascal, in the days when we had money, you spent it all as you pleased; I’ve never had any fun. It would only be fitting if you hanged yourself, but why should I?
RASCAL: You have a point there, Sister. I’ve had my fun, but you’ve never had any. You wait in the kiln while I go look for those two swindlers. Sweep up a little dry mule dung for fuel and heat up the pot to a good rolling boil. I’ll go find some rice for you to boil into gruel. Heaven! Poverty is killing me! (RASCAL and CUIGE exit.)
(TEA SHOP KEEPER enters.)
TEA SHOP KEEPER: I’m the tea shop keeper. This morning I got up, I combed my hair all slick, washed my face, and now I’ve opened my tea shop to see who’ll come by.
(LIU and Hu enter.)
LIU (recites:)
Firewood is cheap,
Rice is still cheaper;
We are two sharks—
Don’t we make a fine pair!76 (Speaks:)
I’m Liu Longqing; my brother here is Hu Zichuan. We’re very close friends, never apart from each other by a step or an inch. Brother, ever since we had no further use for that Little Brother Zhao, we haven’t had much fun. Today let’s go into that tea shop to relax for a while; with a little luck we’ll find another patron. Waiter, bring us some tea.
TEA SHOP KEEPER: Of course. Please come in and have a seat.
(RASCAL enters.)
RASCAL: I’m Rascal. In the past, when I left my gate, everyone kowtowed and banged their heads, claiming to be my friend and sworn brother. But now that I am poor, everyone I meet shuns me. I’ll just inquire in this tea shop now. (Sees TEA SHOP KEEPER.) Good morning, tea shop keeper.
TEA SHOP KEEPER: What does that beggar want? Ugh! A beggar’s come to pay his respects!
RASCAL: Good, good! I was just looking for those two sworn brothers of mine, and it happens that they’re here right now. They will help me out—wonderful! (Sees LIU and HU, greets them.) My respects, Brothers.
LIU: Get that beggar out of here!
RASCAL: I’m not a beggar; I’m Little Brother Zhao.
HU: Who’s Little Brother Zhao?
RASCAL: Me, that’s who.
HU: You’re Little Brother Zhao? Then I ask you: why are you so poor?
RASCAL: It’s all because you two wicked bastards made me poor!
LIU: Are you starving, Brother?
RASCAL: Of course I’m starving! What have you ordered? Let me have some of it too.
LIU: Wait a couple of minutes, Little Brother. I’ll go buy something for you to eat. Good roast goose, a leg of pork; I’ll go buy some right away. (Exits.)
RASCAL: Brother, where has he gone to buy food? Why hasn’t he returned after all this time?
HU: Let me go too, Little Brother.
RASCAL: No, don’t go, Brother.
HU: If you can’t wait for him, I’ll go buy you some meat, pickled fish, and wine. Wait right here for a little while, Brother; I’ll be back soon. (HU goes out the door.)
TEA SHOP KEEPER: You owe me a lot of money—where do you think you are going?
HU: Don’t talk so loud: come out here, and I’ll explain it to you.
TEA SHOP KEEPER: Well, what do you have to say?
HU: Don’t you recognize him? That’s Yangzhou Rascal.
TEA SHOP KEEPER: That’s Rascal? How did he come to be in that condition?
HU: He’s a very wealthy man, but he wants to avoid the official levy for money and conscript service. That’s why he pretends to be poor. He’ll take care of the money the two of us owe you. Just ask him; it is does not concern the two of us. I’m going home.
(RASCAL picks lice.)
TEA SHOP KEEPER: I’ve figured up the bill. You owe me five mace for tea, three taels of silver for wine, one ounce, two mace for food, five taels to pay off the singing girl Beautiful Lotus Geng, and eight mace for gambling at double six.77 That’s ten taels, five mace altogether.
RASCAL: What bill have you been adding up, Brother?
TEA SHOP KEEPER: You pretend not to know, but just now Liu Longqing and Hu Zichuan transferred over to you all the bills they have owed me over the years. Hand over the money—here’s the bill.
RASCAL: But, Brother! If I had any money, how could I be willing to pretend that I’m a beggar?
TEA SHOP KEEPER: You claim to be poor, but they said that you’re afraid of the levy assignment from the officials. That’s why you’re pretending.
RASCAL: So those two transferred to me bills that they’ve owed you over the years to make me repay them! But don’t even look at what I’m eating, Brother; look at what I’m wearing. Where would I get a mace of money? I would rather be your servant—carry water and tote the slops, glean the fields and scour the ground—to pay you back.
TEA SHOP KEEPER: What a shame, what a shame! You used to be a man of standing and a customer of mine. How could I ask you to work as servant for me to repay old bills? I won’t ask for that money at all; I’ll just forgive the whole debt. How about that?
RASCAL: Brother, if you’ll let me off, I’ll be your donkey or your horse in my next life to repay your generosity.
TEA SHOP KEEPER: Enough, enough! I’ve forgiven the debt; now just go away.
RASCAL: Thank you, Brother: I’m going out the door now. The two of them tricked me into staying here while they pretended to go buy food. They transferred all their debts to me, but fortunately this kind man let me off. If he hadn’t, what would I have done! Liu Longqing and Hu Zichuan—in my whole life I’ve never seen two such bastards! (Exit together.)
(CUIGE enters.)
CUIGE: I’m Cuige. Rascal went to town to seek aid from his friends. It’s been a long time, and yet he hasn’t returned. I’ll just heat the water pot and wait.
(RASCAL enters.)
RASCAL: What a dirty trick! They got me to stay in that tea shop while they both left. I’ve gone hungry all day for nothing. I’m going back to my broken-down kiln. (Sees CUIGE.)
CUIGE: So you are back.
RASCAL: Did you heat the water in the pot to boiling?
CUIGE: I’ve heated it very hot; give me the rice to boil.
RASCAL: Boil my two feet! From the time I went out, I didn’t run into a single good friend. Enough, enough of this—I’ll just die!
CUIGE: No matter what happens, all you can talk about is dying. Think of all the ways you had fun carousing with that Liu Longqing and that Hu Zichuan. And what did I ever get out of it?! You have no other way out now; you and I will have to go to Uncle Li to beg for some scraps of food.
RASCAL: What are you saying, Sister? That’s nothing but going begging for a beating. When Uncle sees me, if he’s feeling lenient, he’ll curse me, but if he’s being harsh, he’ll beat me. Go by yourself if you want to—I don’t dare.
CUIGE: Don’t worry, Rascal. When the two of us get to Uncle’s gate, we’ll inquire before we go in. If Uncle is at home, then I’ll go in by myself. If Uncle is not there, you and I will go in together. We’ll see Auntie: she’ll surely give us some money to help us out.
RASCAL: What you say is right, Sister. If Uncle is at home when we get there, you go in by yourself to see Uncle and to beg a bowl of food. When you’re full, wrap up some of the scraps and bring them out for me
to eat. If Uncle’s not at home, then I’ll go in with you. When we see Auntie, quite aside from any money that she may give us, we’ll at least get to fill ourselves with one of her meals. Heaven! Poverty is killing me!
(RASCAL and CUIGE exit.)
(ELDER’s wife, MADAME ZHAO, enters.)
MADAME ZHAO: I’m Madame Zhao. My husband went out very early this morning. I see that now it is midday; why is he not back yet? Servants, prepare tea and food. He ought to be coming anytime now.
(RASCAL and CUIGE enter.)
RASCAL: We’ve reached their gate, Sister. You go in first. If Uncle’s at home, don’t tell him that I’m here. But if he’s not, come out and call me.
CUIGE: All right, I’ll go first. (Greets MADAME ZHAO.)
MADAME ZHAO: Servants, why have you let this beggar in?
CUIGE: I’m no beggar, Aunt; I’m Cuige.
MADAME ZHAO: Ah, you are Cuige! Ah, my child, why are you in such a state?
CUIGE: Rascal and I are living in a broken-down tile kiln by the south wall of the city now, Aunt. Aunt, the suffering is killing me!
MADAME ZHAO: Where is Rascal?
CUIGE: He is at the door.
MADAME ZHAO: Tell him to come in.
CUIGE: I’ll go call him. (RASCAL sleeps.) He’s sleeping; I’ll wake him up. (Calls.) Rascal! Rascal!
RASCAL (awakens:) I’ll beat you, you ugly bitch! Heaven! You spoiled my good dream. And just at the best part!
CUIGE: What were you dreaming about?
RASCAL: I dreamed that I was in Moonlight Tower with Miss Neglected Beauty. The two of us were singing “Aguling” from the beginning.78
CUIGE: And your mind is still on such things! Go in to see Aunt.
RASCAL (sees MADAME ZHAO, weeps:) Aunt, I’m dying of poverty! Is Uncle at home? When he comes home, he’ll want to beat me. Please talk him out of it, Aunt.
MADAME ZHAO: I suppose you have not eaten, child?
RASCAL: Where would I get anything to eat?
MADAME ZHAO: Servants, first fix noodles and bring them for our guests. I’ll let you have a good meal, children; your uncle is not at home. Now eat, eat!
(RASCAL eats noodles. ELDER enters.)
ELDER: Some bastard on a fine horse with an engraved saddle—he was half drunk—was riding along as if he were flying, shaking his two sleeves in the spring breeze, stirring up all the dust and dirt on the street. Look at him! Bah! It nearly blinded my old eyes! (Sings:)
[Zhonglü mode: Powdered Butterflies]
