by Judith Pella
“We are not speaking of strong backs, Carolyn.” He set down his spoon and glanced up at her. He seemed a little bewildered that they were having this conversation at all. She wondered when was the last time he’d had a debate with a woman, or if he ever had. “This is a matter of moral expediency.”
“Huh?”
“The Scriptures command that women are to be submissive to men,” he said curtly.
“Well, Sam—that’s my mother’s husband now, and he’s a minister—he says that God formed Eve from Adam’s rib ‘cause He intended man and woman to walk through life side by side like equals.”
“That’s absolute heresy. No wonder you have turned out as you have if that is the kind of rubbish you’ve been fed.”
“Sounds like this is one of those places in the Bible where God doesn’t make himself real clear.”
“It is clear enough to me,” Caleb replied adamantly.
“All I know is that I am the way I am, and God accepts me that way, and I really wish you would, too.”
“As I said, I am from a different school.”
“I reckon this is gonna be hard for both of us, then, ain’t it?” She paused and smiled. “I have a feeling we’re both too stubborn to change—we have too much Stoner blood in us! But can’t we just accept each other the way we are?”
“That is the crux of it, isn’t it? That Stoner blood.” Then all at once he looked at her, and she had the feeling he was seeing her for the first time. For good or ill, she was truly Leonard’s daughter.
She nodded in response to his thoughtful query; then for no apparent reason, tears welled up in her eyes. Suddenly she, too, saw Caleb Stoner anew, as no one else in the world had ever seen him before. Her grandfather. Before the sudden impulse fled, she jumped up and hurried to where he sat at the head of the table, put her arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek.
Caleb Stoner had never been more shocked in his entire life.
Surprised herself, for she was not one to be overly generous with physical shows of affection, Carolyn backed away from him, slightly embarrassed, and straightened up.
“Forgive me, Mr. Stoner. I…I don’t know what came over me. I—”
“Grandfather will do.”
“What?”
“You may call me Grandfather.”
She nodded dumbly. “Th—thank you. I’d like that.”
“Eat your dinner now. Maria does not take it kindly when her food is left over.”
29
The next morning Carolyn was just finishing breakfast with her grandfather when Sean Toliver poked his head into the dining room.
“I hope I’m not interrupting your morning meal,” he said, though it was obvious he was doing just that.
“What is it?” asked Caleb.
“I’m here about the matter we discussed last night. You know, the horse.”
“Oh yes. Well, we are finished eating, anyway.” Caleb looked at Carolyn. “Mr. Toliver has an errand to do, and he’d like you to join him, Carolyn.”
“Me?”
“If it’s not an inconvenience.”
“I reckon it ain’t…that is, if you don’t need me, Grandfather.”
“No, you have my permission.”
Carolyn opened her mouth to protest the fact that she really hadn’t asked his permission, but just in time, she decided to keep silent. After all, Caleb seemed to be making a real effort toward conciliation. Since their surprising interaction the evening before, he had been especially considerate toward her. It truly amazed her that things were progressing between them so quickly. She began to wonder if her mother was, as Griff sometimes declared, more stubborn than Carolyn. If Deborah had struck a mulish, inflexible attitude toward Caleb, it was no wonder the two clashed.
“Do I need to change my clothes?” Carolyn asked Sean. She had donned a blue calico skirt and white blouse that morning just to show Caleb she could be conciliatory, too.
Sean gave Carolyn one of his penetrating appraisals, then said with a wry slant to his mouth, “No, Miss Stoner, you look just fine!”
Pink suffused Carolyn’s cheeks. Someday, she swore to herself, I’m gonna receive that man’s looks and compliments without blushing!
But he had a way about him that made her tingle, feel warm all over, and just a little light-headed. She supposed it was because this was the first time a man, a real man, had ever looked at her in quite that way. At home, the men were so much like family that no one would dare ever give her that kind of attention. When a new man came, he quickly learned what was expected in this area. One kid who had hired on recently had played up to her in the barn, and she had even let him kiss her. But that had meant nothing really, and even so, he was just a boy. When Griff had found out what had happened he nearly fired the kid; and, to be sure, nothing like that ever happened again.
Oddly, Carolyn was almost as innocent about men as her mother had been at that age, even though Carolyn was perpetually surrounded by them. She was at least ignorant of romance. If Sean Toliver had any romantic notions about Carolyn, he would soon find that she was as unspoiled as a newborn colt, with neither scar nor bruise upon her innocent heart.
They left the house together and crossed the dirt yard heading toward the stable. But they continued on around the back to the big corral where the horse breaking was usually done. There were about thirty horses prancing about the big area now. Carolyn’s natural eye scanned the herd and found them to be a fine assemblage of animals without a plug or a jughead among them. Of course, Carolyn knew enough about horses not to judge solely on appearance.
“So, what do you think?” Sean asked.
“They’re nice.”
“That’s all?”
“You want my professional opinion or something?”
“Last night Mr. Stoner told me to round up a couple dozen of his best saddle horses and let you have your pick.”
“He did?” When Sean nodded, she continued. “He’s kind of a funny man, ain’t he? I mean, I never thought he would wear down so fast.”
“Maybe he just decided, ‘If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.’”
“Still, from what I heard about him…” She paused thoughtfully, then looked at Sean frankly. “What kind of man is my grandfather, Sean? What do you think?”
“He’s a hard, ruthless man. I wouldn’t want to get on his bad side because he’s an enemy to be extremely wary of. But I think if he likes a fellow, that man—or woman—will go far. Unfortunately, he doesn’t like too many people…that is, really respect or admire them. He’ll be friendly to people he wants to use, but that’s not the same thing.”
“Does he like you, Sean?”
“I suppose he does, as long as I’m useful to him. We tend to look at things in much the same way.”
“How’s that?”
“We know what we want, and we make sure we get it.” He was suddenly looking at Carolyn with such an incisive gaze that she began to squirm.
“Well, about those horses—” she began in a thin voice as she tried to duck under the corral rail.
Sean placed a strong hand on her shoulder and moved close to her. His face was inches from hers.
“Your grandfather doesn’t want you slipping through his fingers,” Sean said. “I feel the same way. I want you, Carolyn.”
“Sean, I—I—” Her heart was pounding like a herd of galloping mustangs. She was afraid he was going to kiss her—afraid, because she wasn’t sure she knew how to kiss a man like Sean.
He seemed to read her trepidation. “You don’t have to say anything at all. You just leave it to me, Carolyn. I know just how to make a girl like you feel good.”
His lips sought her neck and began to move up and down her soft skin until she thought she’d die of ecstasy. Then he moved slowly toward her lips—too slowly, she thought. She wanted him to kiss her, but he was taking his time about it, kissing her cheeks and ears, and her neck again, while his large, warm hands roved over her body.
“Oh, Sean!” she murmured.
He continued to touch her and kiss her, yet still avoiding her lips. She never thought she’d want a man’s lips to touch hers so much. She tried to move her head so her lips would be more accessible. But he seemed more interested in her neck. Then, just as he was drawing close again—
“Señor Toliver!”
It was Ramón. Sean cursed. Carolyn fell back limply against the wood rail as Sean backed off and swung around toward where Ramón was rounding the corner of the stable and coming into sight.
“That blasted greaser,” he grumbled softly. Then out loud, “What do you want? I’m busy.”
“Señor Laban is looking for you. He’s up at the house and said you were to go there as soon as I found you.”
“What’s the matter?”
“Didn’t say, but he looked like something was wrong.”
“All right! You get back to work; I’ll be along in a minute.” When Ramón disappeared, Sean turned back to Carolyn. He ran a finger along her smooth cheek, then kissed it lightly. “I guess I’ll have to give you a rain check, love.”
“Oh…okay.” Carolyn swallowed.
He smiled and she didn’t even notice how patronizing his expression was. The only thing she was aware of was the memory of his warm lips on her neck and the unfulfilled hunger in her own lips.
“You go ahead and pick a horse.”
“Huh?” She had forgotten all about the horses and Caleb’s offer.
Sean smiled again. “Don’t you worry, I’ll be back.”
She nodded dumbly, then watched him go with deep regret.
It took several minutes for her to regain her composure. And in that time, she began to feel like an utter fool. What kind of girl was she, anyway, that with hardly more than a look, she should become a silly lump of clay in a man’s hands, allowing him to have his way with her? What would have happened if Ramón hadn’t come along? She never thought she was the kind of girl who would practically enslave herself to the first man to show her attention.
But what a man!
How could a girl resist such a man as Sean Toliver? Even now as she was trying to rebuke her behavior, all she could really think of was that she wanted him to kiss her lips, long and passionately. She could almost taste his lips on hers. The thought alone was delicious.
And this man said he wanted her! That was almost too much for her to imagine. Her! A smudged-faced, gangly cowgirl!
“Señorita Carolyn,” Ramón said, coming up behind her, “Señor Toliver said for me to help you with a horse. Have you chosen one?”
Carolyn was a lot happier for Ramón’s intrusion now than she had been a few moments ago. It was best to try not to think about Sean Toliver right now. She had other important things to attend to at the ranch, and she couldn’t be sidetracked. A romance with Sean wasn’t going to free her mother; a horse of her own, on the other hand, could give Carolyn more freedom to roam about the ranch. She had to keep her mind clear!
“No, I haven’t, Ramón.” She studied the horses in the corral once more. It only took a minute for her to decide on a mare that was all black except for three white socks and a white blaze on her face. Not only was she unusually marked, but she had a lively step and a straight, proud neck. “I’ll take that one,” Carolyn said as she slipped under the rail into the corral.
Ramón handed her a rope and she went among the herd. They were tame animals, already broken, accustomed to the presence of humans. Though some backed away, others nuzzled her as she passed. She patted them and spoke to them, feeling more comfortable here than she had a few minutes ago in Sean’s arms. When she reached the black mare, she placed the rope around the animal’s neck and received no resistance at all. She led the horse to the gate Ramón was holding open.
“Come into the stable, and I’ll fix you up with a saddle,” said Ramón.
“Do you know if this horse has a name?”
“Señor Stoner doesn’t name the horses, but I have names for all that don’t belong to the cowhands. I suppose it’s not really my place, but…I don’t know, it seems like the horses ought to have names.”
“I feel the same way. They seem almost human, don’t they?” She gave the black an affectionate pat, already feeling a camaraderie with the mare. “So, what have you named her?”
“Tres Zapatos.”
“Three Shoes…that’s good.”
Ramón went to a large rack in the stable where several saddles hung from hooks. He lifted one down and carried it over to the black mare.
“This is a good saddle,” he said as he placed it on the horse and began cinching it down with Carolyn’s help. “Perhaps the Patrón will want better for you, but this is the best available now.”
“It’s just fine.”
Ramón glanced at Carolyn over the top of the saddle. “Are you really the Patrón’s granddaughter?”
“Yes, I sure am.”
“His dead son Leonard’s daughter?”
Carolyn nodded.
“Maybe I’m too curious. You know how rumors spread around a ranch. They’re saying Señor Stoner didn’t even know about you until you came—there I go again. Curiosity! My mother says it will get me into trouble someday.”
“Oh, that’s okay, Ramón. It’s all true, anyway. I only just found out about it myself, too.”
“Is it connected with the woman they had in jail in town?”
“That’s my mother.”
“I’m sorry. I will say no more.”
“It’s all very complicated,” Carolyn said. “I suppose I don’t know the half of it all. But I’m gonna find out.”
“If I can help you, let me know.”
“That’s nice of you. How long have you been here, Ramón?”
“At the ranch? About three years. But I grew up in Stoner’s Crossing.”
“But you were probably a baby when my father died, maybe not even born yet. I need to talk to people who were adults back then. The tricky part is that I don’t think that would please my grandfather.”
“Perhaps I can ask around.”
“I wouldn’t want you to get into trouble.”
“I could be careful.”
She studied him for a long moment, both puzzled and wary. “Why would you want to help me, especially if you might have to go against your boss?”
Ramón shrugged. “There aren’t many people around here my age, and I’d like to be friendly.” After a moment’s thought, he added quickly, “Not friendly like Sean Toliver means.”
Carolyn blushed. “You saw?” she managed to say.
“I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”
“Oh, forget it.” Carolyn swung up on the horse. “I’m going riding.”
“Carolyn,” Ramón said as she started to move, “you should be careful around Toliver.”
“I can take care of myself,” she said haughtily, then rode out of the stable.
30
Carolyn did not see Sean Toliver again for three days. Apparently there had been trouble at the roundup camp. Shots had been exchanged with some of the hands from the Bonnell outfit, and though no one had been hurt, tensions were thick and Caleb wanted Toliver to stay at camp.
That was just as well, Carolyn supposed. She just did not know what to think of Sean and what had happened at the corral. It was confusing and a little scary, and she had enough confusing and scary things to deal with at the moment. She didn’t need a romance to further complicate her life. Nor did she need something like that to distract her from her purpose. Thinking of Sean’s touch and his kisses made her tingle all over, but she just had to stay on track. Her mother’s life depended on her.
Perhaps part of her problem was that she didn’t know how to help her mother now that she was here at the Stoner Ranch. When she had first made the decision to come, it had seemed everything would fall into place once she arrived. But that wasn’t happening. The two people who could help her the most were the ones she was most afraid to approach—Caleb and Laban.
Things were going so well with her grandfather that she was reluctant to spoil it, and she knew almost for certain that questioning him about her mother and father would do just that. As for Laban, he was about as approachable as a rattler.
“Well, I’m just gonna have to start taking some risks, that’s all!” she told herself one morning after she had been at the ranch almost five days.
Then she had a brainstorm when Maria came to her bedroom door.
“I have fresh laundry, señorita.”
“Come in,” Carolyn said. She had just dressed and was sitting on her bed thinking.
Maria came in and set the clean clothes on a dresser, then began to put them in drawers. She was an old woman, probably in her seventies, and very round and wrinkled. But Carolyn was amazed at Maria’s energy. She did all the cleaning and cooking and serving. And even though only Caleb and Carolyn were in the house now, it was a demanding job for such an elderly lady.
“How long have you been with my grandfather?” Carolyn asked as Maria worked.
“Many years! I came to him not long after he came to Texas.”
“Thirty years, then.”
“Oh, no—over forty years.”
Carolyn did some quick figuring in her head. She thought her mother had mentioned that Caleb had bought his ranch with money he’d made during the California Gold Rush. “Didn’t he come here after the gold rush?”
“No, no. I remember well that I came to work for him right after my own husband died—in 1843, it was. His first wife had passed on at that same time, too. It was a very sad time; it helped me to have a little one to care for, and I think it helped them too.”
“You mean my father, Leonard?”
“Sí. He was—oh, let me see—four years old then.”
“What was he like, Maria?”
Maria smiled, then quickly put away the last of the clothes and shuffled over to sit in the chair next to the bed.
“You are much like him, señorita, you know. I saw it when you first came here. He was a very smart little boy. You could never fool that one. Sometimes I would hide a candy in my hands and try to make him guess which hand. But he would just walk around me and take the candy. And so handsome! Any woman should have been proud to have one such as he for her husband—” She stopped abruptly as she realized the implication of her words. Flustered, she added, “Maybe he wasn’t perfect—what man or woman is? But he had looks and an important name and a secure future.”
