by Lucy Carey
If Mariana didn’t want to stop taking English lessons from her, she thought, the best thing would be for Susie to end the relationship. It would be horrible, but it would be better in the long run, she told herself. No more heartache, no more wishing and longing like a lovesick teenager, no more “what if”s.
She hunched over, took a couple of deep breaths, then straightened herself up. She walked slowly but resolutely to Mariana’s door.
* * *
Red lipstick. Mariana reapplied it for the second time since Susie had phoned her. She rubbed under her eyes, checking for any flakes of mascara, and freshened her eyeliner.
What are you doing? she asked herself. Stop it.
She made herself turn away from the mirror, plumping her hair with her hand as she did so, before remembering she wasn’t supposed to be doing that either.
She was a little afraid she was going mad. It was far too late at night to see Susie, she knew, but she hadn’t even stopped to think before calling her from outside the café. She was definitely not supposed to do that. But from the moment she had thought of the idea, she had been acting on impulse. She knew her solution would make Susie very happy—get her away from those horrible, rude boys.
She had planned to phone her back, when she had come to her senses a little while later, to tell her it could wait until the morning, but then Susie phoned her and said she was coming over—didn’t ask her, just told her. And Mariana hadn’t argued…because she wanted her to.
Silly girl, she told herself. You go and chase the straight girls and you’re going to get your heart broken.
She walked into the kitchen and readied two mugs—one with a teabag, the box specially purchased after Susie’s last visit. She was taking a packet of biscuits down when the doorbell rang.
Through the glass in the front door that was frosted with carved leaves, she could see it was Susie. Her stomach leapt a little and despite her earlier self-admonitions, she checked her lipstick a final time in the hall mirror before she opened the door.
“Hello, Susie,” she said, successfully dampening the excitement that was threatening to find its way into her voice.
Susie nodded. “Hi. Will I come in?”
Mariana was a little wrong-footed. Susie’s tone was very brusque—emotionless even. She stood back to let her walk by her and tried to be pleasant.
“Would you like a cup of tea? I have just boiled the kettle and…”
Susie put her hand up. “No, thanks. Best just to get on with things.”
Mariana frowned and followed Susie into the kitchen. Susie seemed to flap for a minute, unsure of where to put herself in the room. Mariana rallied her nerve.
“Would you like to go into the sitting room, maybe? There is a fire and it is much warmer than the kitchen.”
Susie stared at her blankly for a moment, then blinked a couple of times. “Sure. Sure, that would be nice, thank you.”
Mariana turned to walk into the sitting room but stopped when she didn’t hear footsteps following her. She looked back at Susie; she looked agitated. She was chewing a fingernail and looking at a spot on the wall. Mariana cleared her throat and Susie tore her gaze from the wall.
“Oh yeah, the sitting room,” she said. She started to walk towards the door and Mariana led the way, a feeling of unease flipping her stomach. She entered the sitting room and took a seat on the couch. As Susie entered, she motioned for her to sit down too, and when she did, she sat at the very opposite end of the couch not looking at Mariana.
Mariana’s stomach had started to flip-flop now, the unease turning to mild panic and causing her to feel a little sick. She took a deep breath to calm herself.
“Is something wrong, Susie?”
Susie had found another spot on the wall to stare at. She didn’t turn from it to reply.
“I, uh…” She coughed. “I think I’ll have to stop giving you English lessons, Mariana. I’m sorry.”
Mariana’s stomach did one final and dramatic flip before it settled. In its place, it felt like it had left a big, heavy rock. Mariana stared at the floor.
“Oh.”
She couldn’t say anything more for a few moments and Susie didn’t fill the silence.
“Oh,” she said quietly again. She paused. “Why not?”
Susie didn’t even turn to look at her when she started to explain, Mariana thought, hurt. “Because when I told you I studied English, you got the wrong idea. I don’t teach the kind of English lessons you want. I’m studying literature and poetry and drama, not how to give lessons. You got it wrong. I should have told you when you asked me for a lesson.”
The confession stopped Mariana in her tracks, quieting her stomach. Another emotion had taken the place of her anxiety—an anger that was growing rapidly by the second. She stood up and Susie did the same.
“So you lied to me? All this time, you take my money and you have been telling me lies? Why would you do that?”
“I’m sorry but you got the wrong—”
“I didn’t get it wrong,” Mariana countered. “You lied to me.”
Mariana couldn’t believe she’d been so blind; she couldn’t even tell when she was being used. She squared her shoulders and turned on Susie.
“You took advantage of the stupid little Brazilian girl who thinks you’re a nice person. But you’re not a nice person. Nice people don’t lie to get money. You’re a liar.”
Susie reeled back from Mariana, her pale complexion reddening.
“Listen, I said I was sorry but you can just stop right there. I was trying to be nice…”
Mariana scoffed. “Nice? Oh yes, very nice. You think I’m an idiot. You took my money when I cannot really afford lessons and you lied about it.” Susie tried to interject but Mariana wasn’t going to let her; she couldn’t stand to hear her anymore. She raised her eyes to the ceiling, her voice dropping to a whisper.
“I am an idiot. I am a silly little girl with a crush on the straight girl. And now I’ve made a big fool of myself.”
Her eyes burned with tears and against her better judgement, she brought her gaze down to look at Susie. She was startled to see Susie stare back at her, a look of shock on her face.
“What are you talking about, Mariana?” Mariana looked at the floor as a tear dropped to hit the carpet. She could scarcely hear Susie’s next words—her voice had also dropped to a whisper. “I’m gay too.”
* * *
And then Susie’s mouth was on Mariana’s, her lips pressed hard on Mariana’s soft, cushiony lips, her hands tangled in her silky, dark hair.
Up close, her smell was even more intoxicating, fresh, and citrusy with just a hint of musk. She pressed her body closer to Mariana’s, a hunger growing from deep inside her, and they fell onto the couch, Susie searching for Mariana’s tongue with her own.
She had been thinking about and imagining this moment for so long, that it still felt a little unreal to Susie. Right now, she was kissing her perfect girl; there could never be a moment as amazing as this again, she was sure of it. She broke for breath and Mariana moaned softly, nuzzling into Susie’s hair, and biting softly at her neck, all the way up to her ear. As Mariana exhaled, the warmth of her breath sent a shudder racing down Susie’s spine and a rush of blood to her clitoris.
Susie could barely contain her need any more. She wanted Mariana—more than she’d ever wanted anything before. She leaned back to rip at Mariana’s clothing, months of tension and frustration ratcheting up her desire so that she ached to feel every inch of Mariana’s warm, smooth skin, and Mariana in turn fumbled at Susie’s coat pushing it from her shoulders, and pulled at the buttons of her bulky shirt.
Susie slipped her hands around Mariana’s waist and lifted her top over her head and flung it to the floor. The chill of the air on Mariana’s round, heavy breasts—pushed up high in a balconette bra—goosebumped her luscious mocha skin, and caused her nipples to stand to attention under the bra.
Susie ached to please her as much an
d as often as she could.
She unclipped Mariana’s bra and brought one of her nipples to her lips, teasing it with butterfly kisses and the tip of her tongue.
She looked up into Mariana’s face, hoping she was enjoying herself as much as Susie was, and again she found herself staring into Mariana’s deep brown eyes.
She pushed herself up to meet her gaze head on, caressing Mariana’s cheek softly.
“Is this alright? Are you okay?”
Mariana smiled impishly, a smile that made Susie’s insides glow with joy, and shook her head.
“No,” she said, her voice deep and slightly panting, and Susie stopped breathing in fear for a moment. Mariana laughed, a deep throaty laugh, and Susie started breathing again. “I am half-dressed and you have all your clothes on. We must take care of that.”
That was all the invitation Susie needed to stand up and pull her shirt over her head—a spectacular feat since it was still mostly buttoned up. She quickly took off her vest, wiggled out of her jeans, and kicked off her shoes. It was the fastest she ever remembered undressing.
She stood in front of Mariana, naked but for a pair of turquoise lacy boxers, and waited for Mariana to take off the rest of her clothes but Mariana was not so quick to undress.
Despite her arousal, Susie suddenly felt exposed standing in front of Mariana, who seemed much more comfortable in her state of partial undress. Susie fought the urge to cover up her small, alabaster breasts, but Mariana’s movements distracted her before she gave in to the urge.
With her gaze never once leaving Susie’s, Mariana stepped out of one high-heeled shoe first, making her instantly shorter than Susie, and then paused for effect. Then the other one came off and she brought her fingers to the drawstring of her dark linen trousers.
Susie held out for as long as she could, watching Mariana teasingly pull the cord through her fingers, playfully toying with the knot, but she couldn’t take it anymore. She would explode with excitement and desire if those trousers didn’t come off now.
She strode over to Mariana, circling her waist with her hands, and gently laid her on the ground. Mariana’s trousers and her remaining underwear were off within seconds.
* * *
Susie’s long curly hair trailed along Mariana’s skin as she kissed a line from Mariana’s neck to her stomach. As the hair brushed along her breast, Mariana’s skin tingled. Mariana watched Susie as she worked her kisses down, and allowed herself to savour the moment of intense happiness that was washing over her. She had been drawn to Susie immediately when she saw her; had known there was something special about her; but she still couldn’t believe Susie had reciprocated.
She had never felt this turned on in her life—and it wasn’t just that Susie was so shyly beautiful, though she was with her freckle-dotted porcelain skin, flame-red hair, and gentle curves. No, she had never felt this closely aligned to anyone in her life, like somehow they were meant to meet and…
Mariana gasped, her back stiffening, as Susie brought her kisses to Mariana’s thighs and then worked in, before taking Mariana’s clit in her mouth. Once she had worked up a rhythm with her tongue, she inserted a finger into Mariana’s cunt, which by now was soaking wet.
Mariana couldn’t control her breath now, each ragged inhalation tempered by a moan that sprang from deep within her.
Susie slipped another finger in and, as Mariana felt those fingers find her G-spot, she tangled her fingers in Susie’s hair and pressed her face closer to her clit, tilting her pelvis up so Susie could suck harder and faster and slide her fingers in deeper inside her.
With her free hand, Susie reached up to touch Mariana’s breast, and Mariana realised that she would soon cum. Though the thought of stopping even for a moment pained her, she grabbed Susie by the shoulders, dragging her up from her pelvis to bring her face level to hers.
She wanted to taste Susie, too, to feel Susie’s juices release at her touch, so she turned herself and slid under Susie, both of them now in the right position to please each other.
Susie took the cue and in moments, they were sucking and fingering and touching each other.
Mariana came first, her orgasm wracking her body with shallow breaths and a shiver running up her spine as the past few months’ anticipation and repressed excitement all came to a delicious conclusion.
Susie was close behind her she knew—her legs had begun to shake and her moans became longer and louder as Mariana flipped her onto her back to finish the job off. A few more flicks of her finger against Susie’s vaginal wall and a quicker rhythm of her tongue on her clit and Susie was done, her legs clamping around Mariana as the waves of pleasure rippled through her.
Mariana pulled herself up to cradle Susie under her arm and the two of them lay there silently but for the sounds of their breathing returning to normal.
“That was perfect,” Susie said into Mariana’s chest and Mariana planted a kiss on the scarlet crown of curls.
“It was,” she agreed, enjoying the warmth of the flickering fire and the softness of Susie’s skin on hers.
She suddenly thought of Tara and felt a pang of guilt about her infidelity. She didn’t mean to be a bad person—she had never two-timed anyone in her life. Still she couldn’t make excuses. She could have hurt someone who had trusted her. Though she and Tara weren’t right for each other, Tara was a good person and she deserved better than to be cheated on. But what she had felt for Susie was so unlike anything that she had ever felt before that she knew there would never have been anything with Tara. She’d never meant to hurt Tara but there was no denying what she had with Susie was something special and rare.
Susie moved in closer to Mariana, laying her head on Mariana’s chest and reaching across her waist to tuck her fingers into Mariana’s.
“Meu amór,” Mariana said quietly into Susie’s soft, thick hair.
And then she remembered, too—the reason she had wanted to phone Susie earlier that evening: David’s extra room! He would be kind to Susie and she could finish her studies in peace and quiet, and David would love having someone to keep him company in the evenings.
“Susie,” she said softly, afraid she would forget again if she didn’t say it to her now. “I have an idea that I think might be good for you and keep you away from those terrible people in your house.”
She didn’t get a reply.
“Susie?” Mariana asked again. She peered down to her chest, where Susie lay, and pulled a lock of hair out of her face. The firelight flickered on Susie’s pale, freckled skin, and her breathing was smooth and peaceful. Mariana stroked Susie’s cheek lightly and snuggled in closer to her. What she had to say could wait until tomorrow, she thought, as Susie dozed quietly; for now, she’d let Susie catch up on some sleep.
