by H. P. Munro
“Painful ones.”
The bar was deathly quiet apart from the noise of sucking coming from Jessica and her now empty carton of orange juice, which Alex gently extricated from her daughter before she got lynched.
“Okay, where exactly are these protrusions?” Maddie asked.
There was the sound of movement coming from radio and muffled voices, everyone in the bar leaned forward towards the radio.
“How many times Gregor White have I told you, and that sorry ass of yours, to come in?” Mack’s voice rang throughout the bar.
“One minute five seconds,” Peter yelled.
Mack’s voice continued to blast from the radio. “Those protrusions are haemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids,” she repeated emphasizing each syllable loudly. “You stupid man and if you’d come into town like I’ve been at you to do for almost a year we could do something for them,” she continued to rant.
Sully checked the chalkboard behind the bar. “Ruth wins!” he exclaimed. “She had one minute four.”
Ruth held her hands above her head in victory, accepting the basket of money Sully passed her. She scoped the notes out of the basket and began to tidy them into a neat pile. “I thank you all,” she shouted above the groans of disappointment from the other bar goers at losing the ‘how long ’til Mack loses it with Gregor White sweepstake’, which had become a regular Friday night activity in Grace Falls when the radio clinic was in full swing.
“Sooo,” Teddy said swinging round to face Alex. “Now that I’m down ten bucks, how ’bout we shoot and I drink your liquor cabinet dry?”
Alex drained her beer. “And people wonder why I worry about my child’s education when you come out with things like that!” she laughed.
“Miss Roosevelt is my favorite teacher ever,” Jessica said earnestly, looking for her aunt’s approval and getting a wink in response.
“And the only teacher you’ve ever had, say bye to your daddy,” Alex replied giving Teddy a playful slap for brainwashing her child.
“Bye Daddy,” Jessica called, holding her hand up and blowing kisses towards her father.
Sully grinned and reached up pretending to catch them.
“Bye sweetie, see you tomorrow,” he shouted, reaching round to switch the radio off and the music back on.
“Teddy double or quits remember!” Ruth shouted.
Teddy saluted their friend as she held the door open for Alex and Jessica.
“What was that about?” Alex asked gripping her daughter’s hand.
“Nooo idea,” Teddy smiled taking Jessica’s other hand and preparing to swing her into the air.
***
Maddie had her face planted on the desk, the radio show had been finished for five minutes and she was yet to raise her head up.
“The fool of a man has been suffering from those for almost two years and has called in on every radio clinic we’ve had,” Mack said bustling around tidying up the office around the immobile doctor.
“Doesn’t mean you berate him over the airwaves,” Maddie said, her voice muffled against the desk.
Mack stopped and looked at Maddie. “You threatened Emmett Day with an enema this morning, you don’ get to judge,” she said trying to hide her smile.
Maddie’s shoulders started to move as she chuckled.
“You were good Doc. See there was no reason for all that panic and griping,” she added pulling on her jacket.
Maddie raised her head up and gave Mack a sorrowful look. “I have to admit it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be,” she admitted with a slow smile.
“Well, you were good, have a good evening,” Mack gave her a small proud nod then disappeared out. “An’ lock up after you,” she yelled from the hall.
Maddie sighed, standing up she switched the light off in the office and walked out, fishing the medical center’s keys out of her purse. She locked the door then stepped out into the cooling night air and grimaced at the golf cart parked out front.
“Yeah I’m gonna walk,” she said aloud. As she walked through the town she decided to pay her first visit to Sullivan’s Bar. She pushed open the door and the warmth from the bar hit her along with the sound of laughter and chatter, which immediately stopped as she entered the room. Her eyes opened wide and she considered turning tail and leaving again, but before she could move Sully started to clap, the slow rhythmic clap was joined by others and soon it picked up pace until it was a full round of applause throughout the bar. Maddie gave an embarrassed wave in response and smiled gratefully as Ruth waved her over towards her.
“What can I getcha Doc?” Sully asked. “And your money is no good here after what you did for my little girl,” he smiled.
“In that case I’ll have whatever is the most expensive,” Maddie joked. “Actually I just came in to pick up a bottle of wine?”
“Red or white?” Sully asked.
“Red please, just whatever you’ve got will be fine,” Maddie replied as Sully went off to select a bottle, leaving her with Ruth and Peter. Ruth turned awkwardly on the stool due to her bulk. “You were great…on the radio clinic,” she said.
Maddie blushed slightly. “You heard?” she replied, running her hand through her hair.
“We all did,” Peter grinned.
“All?” Maddie started to feel slightly queasy at the thought.
Sully set a bottle down wrapped in paper in front of Maddie, “Yup, it’s practically an institution. So all I’ve been hearing from my daughter is Maddie-Lyn this and Maddie-Lyn that. You appear to have made quite an impression on her.”
“She’s a lovely kid,” Maddie smiled.
“Yeah she is, thank God she takes after Alex more than me,” he laughed heading off to serve customers further down the bar.
“Any news on the parts for my car?” Maddie asked picking up the bottle.
“Hmmm, nope. Excuse me,” Peter quickly slipped off the stool and made a hasty retreat towards the men’s room. He was a terrible liar and opted for deflection or avoidance as an approach to dealing with the doctor’s queries about her car.
Maddie sucked air through her teeth as she watched him go, she turned to Ruth who had a thoughtful look on her face as she watched her husband disappear.
“So how are you feeling, still no sign of that little one appearing?” Maddie asked.
Ruth looked down at her stomach, “I’m starting to think that it’s never going to come out, it could be a race to see what gets here first, the baby or your car parts.”
Laughing Maddie held up the bottle of wine in thanks towards Sully. “Goodnight,” she called, her face showing her surprise as almost everyone in the bar responded to her.
***
Alex sat on the porch swing, looking across towards the Anderson house, frowning at the darkness that shrouded it. She was idly wondering where Maddie was when Teddy flopped down onto the seat beside her and handed her a bottle of tequila.
“I have glasses you know,” Alex smiled accepting the bottle and taking a swig.
“I know, but this way makes me feel young again,” Teddy replied, stretching her legs out in front of her. “So you wanna tell me what’s going on with the hot doctor?”
“Nothing,” Alex said, seeing the look of disbelief on her friend’s face. “Nothing!” she repeated.
Teddy narrowed her eyes. “Hmmm, so is she as hot as manwhore says she is?” she asked as she took the bottle back from Alex and drank slowly from it.
“Hotter and please stop calling Matt that, Jessica heard you and told Madeleine her daddy was a manhole.”
Teddy spluttered forward catching the dribble of tequila that had escaped her mouth with her fingers. “Sorry I’ll stop, I can still use kidult though?” she asked, once she had composed herself.
Alex snorted, “That I will allow.” She took a long drink from the bottle, wincing at the taste. “We should have got lemons,” she mused.
“Madeleine?” Teddy remarked raising her eyebrow. “And hotter huh?”she grinned,
ignoring Alex’s attempt to change the subject.
“Waaay hotter and smart and funny and leaving,” Alex replied, emphasizing the last word in the hope that Teddy would drop it.
Teddy looked at her friend, “Her leaving doesn’t mean that you can’t have some fun while she’s here! Do you think she likes you?”
“I have no idea, I mean, my head says no, she’s divorced for God’s sake but I get this vibe around her so my-”
“Crotch says yes?” Teddy finished for her.
Alex slapped her thigh, “I was going to say gaydar.”
“Same difference,” Teddy laughed. “Isn’t that where the antenna is?”
Alex lay her head against the back of the swing. “I found a hair growing out of my nipple when I was in the shower this morning,” she said in a thoughtful tone. Teddy looked at her wondering where this was going, before mirroring her friend’s pose.
“I’ve had that,” Teddy replied, hoping to make her friend feel better.
“It’s not that it was there, it was more how long it was,” she held up her thumb and forefinger to her friend to illustrate. Teddy let out a low whistle. “Do you know how long since someone has seen my boobs? How long it’s been since someone has looked at my fun bits?” she asked sadly.
Teddy cradled the tequila bottle between her thighs. “Mack, eight months ago,” she said glancing at Alex with a smirk on her face.
“Pap tests don’t count,” Alex groaned sitting back upright.
“If it doesn’t count, how come you vajazzled for her?!”
Alex snatched the bottle from between Teddy’s thighs, “I did not vajazzle, I groomed. I just didn’t realize that the stupid soap you’d gotten Jessica had glitter in it!”
Teddy gave a soft snort, “Okay so it’s been a while. As much as this is going to pain me, why don’t you give the vet another go?”
“Erin?” Alex said surprised that Teddy brought her up. “You still can’t bring yourself to say her name can you?” she laughed when she saw Teddy’s scowl. “Jeez you hold a grudge. It was over twenty years ago.”
“That ball was out and Erin Hunter, see I can say her name,” Teddy scrunched her nose up in distaste. “She knew it was out and she said nothing and I lost that match to Charlotte Grace. Wait wasn’t it Charlotte Grace that you almost banged on Ruth’s mama’s bed that time?” she said her eyes widening as a thought came to her.
“Why are you dredging this up?”
“Do you think she had a crush on Charlotte and that’s why she said the ball was in?” Teddy narrowed her eyes as she considered this new theory on why she had lost the county’s tennis title.
“Over twenty years Teddy, let it go,” Alex said, suppressing a laugh. Even after all these years Teddy was still oblivious to what had happened between Charlotte and Erin. However, Alex had to admit that she was only aware of it after Erin confided in her and with hindsight she was astounded that she had missed all the signals. “Whether Erin had a crush on Charlotte twenty years ago is neither here nor there and don’t let Sam hear you saying that about his sister, you know how he feels about the Grace family.”
Teddy huffed, “Okay so putting her tennis cheating ways to the side, why don’t you give her another go?”
Alex thought back to the few dates she’d had with the local vet and gave her friend a rueful smile, “Well apart her going to Auburn, which would mean no watching the Iron Bowl ever and your inability to forget her minor line calling indiscretion twenty years ago.” She held her hand up as Teddy was about to interject; as much as she loved seeing Teddy in righteous indignation mode, she wasn’t up for it tonight, “I guess when eventually I ignored Sam giving me the evil eye for dating his big sister, I found that she’s still a really lovely woman and I enjoyed spending time with her but there just wasn’t a-“
“Party in your pants?” Teddy supplied with a wicked grin.
“I was going with a spark.”
“Which is why if your crotch is tweaking now you should at least go for it.”
“I like her. I mean I’m stupidly attracted to her, but I want a relationship with someone. Someone to bring me coffee in bed in the morning not just a random hump,” Alex sighed taking another swig from the bottle. “Although it is a bit like having a super power and not being able to use it,” she let out a long frustrated growl.
“Seriously, a super power!” she laughed. “So why don’t you try and find out if your vajaydar is right?”
A light went on in the kitchen of the Anderson house.
“Maybe,” Alex smiled.
Chapter Four
Maddie yawned and checked the clock, the banging at her front door that had woken her up continued unabated.
“Please don’t let this be a sick person,” she muttered sleepily, swinging her legs round and grabbing her hoodie. She padded down the stairs rubbing at her eyes and blinking at the sunlight streaming through the windows either side of her front door. She yanked open the door fully expecting to see an anxious face needing her help at the other side, instead she was looking at Peter, nervously gazing down as he shuffled from foot to foot. He raised his head welcoming Maddie with a broad smile.
“Morning!” he said cheerfully.
“Is it Ruth? Is she okay?” Maddie asked, turning to pick up her bag, which now habitually sat beside the front door.
Peter held his hands out in front of him and shook his head, “No, no, nothing like that. I felt bad,” he gave her a sheepish look, “about the golf cart, so I thought you could use this instead.” He moved out of the way to allow Maddie to see the cherry red T-Bird that he had restored.
“Wow,” Maddie said in awe. Ignoring her bare feet, she brushed past Peter and walked in wonder towards the car. “This was the one you worked on?” she asked over her shoulder.
“For almost a year,” Peter said proudly.
Maddie walked around Peter’s prized possession taking in the faultless paint job. The chrome bumpers reflected the hazy morning sunshine.
“She’s beautiful.”
“An’ she’s yours,” Peter replied holding out a set of keys, “until we get yours up and running.”
Her eyes widened as she looked between the mechanic and the car. “Really?” she asked cautiously, grinning as Peter nodded. Maddie broke into a wide smile as she took the keys from Peter and climbed into the driver’s seat. She allowed her hands to run over the soft leather of the interior. “You have done a remarkable job on her,” she said ducking her head out of the window to look at Peter.
Peter shrugged, “When you love doing something it’s not work, anyway I should get going,” he gave the car a fond pat. “Just don’t drive her like you did yours,” he warned.
Maddie gave him a bashful smile as she caressed the steering wheel, “I promise I will be careful.” She watched Peter leave through in the rear view mirror, confident he was out of ear shot she leaned forward and murmured to the car, “I know how to treat a beautiful lady and you…you are beautiful and you are going to purr in my hands.”
“Nice car,” a female voice remarked.
Maddie jumped at the voice. “What?…hey,” she smiled at the woman, feeling her cheeks redden as she prayed that the her one-sided conversation with the car hadn’t been heard. She got out of the car and stood beside it. “It’s a loaner while my car is in the shop. I don’t think we’ve met?” she said holding her hand out. “Maddie Marinelli.”
Smiling, Teddy took her hand and shook it, “I have heard a lot about you Doctor Marinelli…Claudia Roosevelt.”
Maddie tried to think where she had heard the name before. Teddy watched the slight twitch of Maddie’s eye as she wracked her brain. “You’ve probably heard me called Teddy, I’m the manhole aunt,” Teddy said helpfully.
“Of course,” Maddie exclaimed. “I thought I’d heard your name before but couldn’t place it.”
“Yeah, well I got in trouble with the whole manhole thing,” Teddy winced. “Anyway, I have a date with my shower
and then I’m going to curl up and let the hangover, that’s about a couple hours off appearing, destroy my Saturday.”
Maddie gave a soft laugh, “Big night?”
“Tequila with Alex. It seemed like a really good idea, right up until I woke up on the porch swing this mornin’.” Teddy watched Maddie’s reaction carefully when she mentioned her friend and had to hide a smirk as she saw something light up on Maddie’s face at Alex’s name. “Nice to meet you Doc,” she said starting to trudge towards her home.
“Good to meet you too,” Maddie said twirling the car key around her finger, she paused for a moment then turned back into the house.
Teddy walked slowly, feeling like her body and mind were treading through treacle, she dug around in her pocket and brought out her phone. “Make you purr huh,” she chuckled as she squinted at her cell trying to focus on the screen while willing her clumsy fingers to type a text. She grinned at the content which simply said ‘You’re gonna lose’ before pressing the send button.
Ruth was bustling around the kitchen when the sound of a text arriving on her phone interrupted her activities. She laughed at the words on her screen before typing her response, ‘This would be one bet I wouldn’t mind losing’ pocketing her phone, she shook her head giggling to herself.
***
Maddie entered the coffee shop, humming softly to herself. She had driven Peter’s T-Bird less than a mile.
But what a ride.
She decided that since there was no clinic today she would take the opportunity to go for a drive. However breakfast was a priority and, since she had nothing in, she had opted to pay a visit to Ruby’s. She had told herself that it was just for that reason and not because she hoped to see Alex.
“Morning Doc,” Lou greeted. “Is that Peter’s car?” she asked spotting the red Thunderbird through the window.
“Yes it is, and we’re heading out for a drive together, just as soon as I get a coffee and something to eat,” Maddie smiled handing Lou the travel mug that Alex had given her.
Lou looked surprised. The T-Bird was Peter’s pride and joy. She wasn’t even allowed to sit in her brother-in-law’s car and here he was lending it to a virtual stranger who, apparently, was about to drink coffee in it. She started to pour coffee into the mug. “So where you thinking of heading?” Lou asked added milk to the cup.
